your throat burned as the liquid flew down making your face scrunch up and your eyes squint, yet you'd happily agreed when your friend offered to order more.
you and mason are in possibly the roughest patch you've ever had in your relationship, masons love language is physical affection but recently he barley speaks to you let alone touches you.
so instead of talking to him and dealing with it, the consequences being to scary for you to face, you thought you'd run away from the problems and spend your Friday night which otherwise would've been alone with mason out getting drunk with your best friends.
you put on your littlest dress, curled your hair in the perfect way he liked, and did your makeup to match. you made sure he saw you before you left, it may be petty but that was you, you never knew how to have serious conversation and you thought maybe, just maybe he might compliment you, ask you where your going something but no. All he did when you walked past him to leave was gulp loudly and and told you to have a good time, like did i repulse him that much?
you tried not to let it get to you, only let it fuel the fire to your reason for this night. So there you were third shot in putting on a smile as your favourite song to dance too blasted through the club speakers, you and your friends all squealed running on to the dance floor. you could feel the music pulsing through your body, your heartbeat loud in your ears as your body moved the song, sipping your new found drink.
the rest of the night was a blur, you’re not quite sure how you ended up stood outside shivering calling mason
the phone rang out a few times, you thought he wasn't going to answer that alone enough to make your drunken mind tear up until finally you heard his voice
“y/n?” he questioned you could tell he had just woken up making you instantly feel bad
“sorry maseyyy, didnt mean to wake you” you whispered drunkenly thinking it would help being quiet since he just woke up
“y/n, where are you?” he questioned sternly
“uhhh,” “excuse me where am i” you asked a stranger next to you
he told you where you were then followed with a cringey pick up line about taking you back to his which u declined wondering if mason heard
“yeah, yeah i heard” he said slight anger in his tone if you squint
“im coming to get you, please wait somewhere safe till i get there” he told you the rustling of clothes and keys evident in the back ground
you were happy, he cared. well at least enough to come get you.
“thankyou mase, i love you” you told him your drunken mind not even thinking twice or registering till after you and mason haven't said that phrase let alone for those three words to each other for awhile
“you too” he said, you weren't able to infer how or what tone he said it in but that didn't matter, it was enough for you to get the idea. he never didnt say it back. you realised now you couldn't not talk to him anymore, you'd put it off too long and it wasn't doing either of you any good.
So when mason pulled up, fuelled by liquid courage you decided you were going to talk to him now.
you opened the car door careful double checking it was him before getting in. it was silent for awhile, different from the club you previously were, you could now feel your heartbeat pulse through you and the soft hum of the radio in your ears.
“mason?” you called almost triple checking he was there and you weren't sat beside a stranger, though that's how it felt recently
you looked to him fixing your gaze on his face, then down to the way he hands gripped the steering wheel, tight, he had both hands clutched around it he didnt look angry. just tense.
the only reply you got was a small hmm, him not even bothering to steal a glance your way, something he wasn't usually opposed to especially since you had reached a red light.
“do you still love me?” i questioned not quite the way i wanted the conversation to go but its ultimately what i longed to know,
“i- y/n, i will-” he spluttered
“oh” was all i said feeling hot tears brim in my eyes, the thought of him no longer loving me enough to make me sober in an instant
“is there something else, someone else?”
“why am i not good enough anymore!” you raised you voice slightly, you wanted answers, it was no use running anymore
“I'm not talking about this no y/n, your drunk” was all he had to say
“no mason you don't get to do that!” we had no pulled up i went to get out the car getting inside as quickly as i could mason following behind me shortly, i didnt look back at him once not wanting to know what expression his face sported
i quickly went upstairs to are bedroom and began packing a small bag, he must've heard me doing it cos when he entered the bedroom it was the first time I'd seen emotion upon his face in while, he looked shocked, hurt. I felt bad. considered unpacking the bag, no he didnt get to to this. he doesn't love you y/n, keep packing.
“what are you doing y/n?” he asked although we both knew the answer
“don't act upset now, i don't know what else to do mason”
“I'm tired of being the only one that cares, the only one that tries in the relationship”
“i knew you didnt feel the same for me anymore but i tried to run, thought if i left it long it enough it would go away”
“i love you so much mason and you cant imagine how much it hurt when you couldn't say those words back!” i said angrily, hot tears rolling down my face by now as i stuffed more of my things into my bag
“of course i love you y/n!” he shouted taking the bag from my hands tears now beginning to appear in his eyes too
“funny way of showing it” i sarcastically laughed through the tears
“you haven't acted like you know me for more than a week mason, i stopped trying to fix things to see if you would make any effort and you didnt so you don't get to say that now, how do i even know you’re not lying”
“because i love you so much it scares me y/n!” he admitted
“i never felt like this about anyone, and i don't deserve you.” “i cant give you everything you want, you deserve someone better who can be there for you always”
“so i thought freezing you out, would make you want to leave me and would hurt you less” “ believe me its been killing me” “seeing you leave the house today it was so hard to not beg you to stay, to stay with me.”
“and when i heard that guy flirt with you on the phone i thought it had worked, i thought you'd got with someone else” he gushed tears now streaming down both our faces
you stopped packing, thinking.
“please don't go” he whispered almost inaudible
“i love you” he almost begged
you walked round to the side of the bed he was sat and sat beside him. you leaned your head on his shoulder just sobbing, you weren't sure if it was alcohol or the pain of the last two weeks just crashing down on you or maybe both.
“I'm so sorry” he kept repeating
now his heartbeat was pounding in your ears, steading your own
“i thought you didnt love me anymore mason”
“your everything i want, i could never be happy with someone else cos i’d always know you were out there”
“please never make me feel like that again” you pleaded
“i love you” he said wrapping his arms around you tighter
“i love you too mason” you said burying you head into him, the tears not quite stopping yet. only they were ones of relief.
