mourning-actor

Somewhat of a writer

[mourning-actor]

✩°｡🧸𓏲⋆.🧺𖦹 ₊˚

hiya, self-introduction I guess. Quite short since I have no idea what to put...

you may refer to me as however you like. I have no name I am decisive enough to go by.

I have many creative hobbies. Unfortunately, I've only been focusing on writing due to a very important exam this year! (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

That is all, thank you for reading. (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

✩°｡🧸𓏲⋆.🧺𖦹 ₊˚

My work (ao3) :

sweet days gone by

[mourning-actor]

he genuinely looks so cool.

him and his damn smile bru. but seriously he's so dam cool. unlike his other boss form, this genuinely has me locking in.

[mourning-actor]

part 3 - Sweet Days Gone By

Zandik x reader

1.4k words

Ao3 link part one part two

The house of Daena is always open for scholars to find resources of interest. However, these days scholars tends to stray from it as they have the akasha terminal as a guide. To me it seems all too much unpleasant.

Don't they know how riveting it is to do research with minimal resources? Back in my days, I'd spend days researching about a topic due to the lack of professionalism of my professors. Those days, I felt like going mad is a better option than being sane while going through with the course. My peers and I have no option to quit, we were already far too gone.

Thus, 79.96% of students fails.

(0.96% since professors were wondering whether to pass that one student or not.)

I considered it as an act of betrayal… Perhaps the elation I felt back then after being the top 10 of my batch despite having an awful start makes me a bit arrogant. Sometimes I wonder if that's something to be arrogant about.

"'Teyvat's sky: History & interpretations', 'The Moons & The Origin', 'The Most Significant Stars'. Zandik, do you think this is enough for lil' old me?"

The thick books dropped onto the table with a thud. I sat down on one of the available sophisticated seat of the library, staring at Zandik across from me with expecting eyes.

He barely gave a glance away from his work.

"Most of us scholars are trying to find cures and origins of Eleazar . Even going as far as trying to dissect King Deshret's technology into ruins… here you are managing to find the most ridiculous topics as a rtawahist student."

"What you find ridiculous is what I call close to treasure. Say I exclaim that the sky is fake would you try to refute?" I said opening one of the awaiting titles hoping to find each and one of them came with an answer to my question.

Now Zandik finally looked up, locking with my gaze. He placed a hand over his chin.

"As a being that came from beyond the sky, are you implying something?"

"Keep that mouth of yours shut. There's still people within the House of Daena."

He smirks. The glint in his eyes truly shows what I brought up caught his attention. "…If I recommend you a far more reliable—insightful manuscript, you wouldn't deny me of your time, surely?"

I stared at the man in front of me and nodded. Of course, for him, a thousand times over. Until it involves me staying with him for eternity.

My fingers twirl with a ruin guard's energy core. Zandik had lied to me. What he need was not me, but instead that good for nothing kamera. After finding out I possess such an item that could essentially freeze time in a form of a two-dimensional image, he grew fond of it rather quickly.

I should have known he valued his experiments and research more than social interaction.

Currently, we are inside a giant ruin guard; tampering with technology of distant era. If the Akademiya find out about it, Zandik is sure to be punished for acting out of authorization and attempting one of the six cardinal sins. Not me though, I am innocent.

Staring at the large core in the middle of the room, it pulses repulsively before it stopped once more. Zandik sitting beside me let out a 'tsk' and wrote — what I assume — the observation in his notebook.

I must be honest, most of the time I have no clue over what his motives are. Human beings are so annoyingly complex.

"Do you have any more memory cards?" He set down the notebook aside, now holding my kamera in his hand.

I rest my chin on my palm, tilting my head to look at him. "Of course I do; though don't tell me you already need one. I just replaced it two days ago…"

He shook his head, "it was merely a question." I hummed and he continue to speak. "It'll be a shame if such a revolutionary item is to be discarded after fulfilling its purpose. So what do you say? If this kamera broke would you be able to fix it?"

A question about purpose. He knows just the right words to get me agitated. Nevertheless, I try to answer it as truthfully as I could.

I shook my head, "I am not sure Teyvat has similar material to this design in particular."

"Tch… Nevermind, just give me the last memory card. I need to compare it with the first time I did this." He held out his hand. He does so without even looking at me. Keeping his gaze fixated on the kamera screen.

He was annoying me on purpose. I could feel it; how could someone be so arrogant with the presence of a greater being? I let out a huff. Reluctantly reaching inside my satchel, I grabbed a tiny square wooden box. However, I didn't take it out. Instead let my grip on it loosen and took my empty hand out.

"I didn't bring it."

He turned his head to glare at me. Leaning back slightly and folding his arm. I fight to contain my grin.

"How unfortunate. I did not expect someone like you to forget that one important thing to you."

"Hmm? What do you know about what's important to me?" I tilted my head; I couldn't help but smile just a little bit. His frown only deepen.

"By the way you look at me, its quite easy to figure as such. It's unlikely you didn't bring it since you know I will ask for it as per usual. So I suggest you stop with the jest and hand it over this instance."

I scoffed and took out the box, taking a memory card I sign as '#04' which was on the very front. I stood up, glancing behind, "I am not sure if I want to give it to you…"

He dropped his arms to rest on his lap, staring at me silently. "You've been quite mean to me, Zandik."

"…What do you want me to do about it?" He asked. I assume he understands I want something to settle my mood, which I was glad. I turn to face him, holding up the micro card between my thumb and pointer. "Let me get lost in your eyes for a bit. I'll give it to you with that term."

"What?" He furrowed his brows, and straighten up. "If you wish to stare at me that badly, could you not just snap a photo? It'll last much longer. I have no time for this."

"An image does not compare to the real thing." I said perfectly sane. It took a second; fortunately, he agreed.

His crimson eyes stare into mine. No matter how much I steal glances, the real thing still makes my heart beats two times faster. I am not sure if I am exaggerating, but it is beginning to get harder to breath. He shifted slightly seemingly uncomfortable. Does he even get uncomfortable?

"That's enough." He outstretched his hand towards the card, I unconsciously pull it back. Blinking; I grabbed his wrist and lean further down.

Until my lips pressed on the corner of his.

"That hurt, miss…" "Stop moving."

I wince as the intern doctor in Birmastan tend to my split lips. The bleeding didn't seem to be stopping.

The ointment she rubbed on my lips burns the wound. I felt like throwing up.

She sighed, pressing a clean cloth to stop blood from oozing out. She told me to put pressure on it. So I reached my hand up and held the clean— now bloodied cloth. She lets go and grabbed a different ointment beside her.

"Do you always put yourself in dangers way? This is the third time I've seen you visit." She tilted my head up to check the bruise on my neck.

"I like the colour red." I gulped down my nervousness.

She gave me a judging look. "Go buy yourself a red pen. Maybe it'll stop you from whatever you're doing now."

I shook my head, "its alright, I like the pain."

"What?"

"What?"

Her hand stopped. A beat pass. She sighs and continue her work. My mind drift away, remembering what happened earlier. I couldn't help but smile to myself like a madman. What a happy day today.

[mourning-actor]

part 2 - Sweet Days Gone By

dottore x reader

2k words

ao3 link part one part three

It has been two days since my little expedition with one of Zandik's segment. I'll make sure to give him something in return one day, that meadowsweet fits nicely on my desk. What code was that segment again? Nonetheless I was busy with an experiment of my own to give it much thought.

The sound of heavy metal clanking ; thumping and buzzing of generators within the confine of the workshop never fails to give headaches. Hands tampered with the wire of the core of an alien. With a single flick of the wrist, it began beating like how a heart should be. Satisfied with the result, it was then kept in a glass jar for later use.

A clock on top of my desk caught my attention ; it reads, "10.30 am".

I hummed in satisfaction. It was an hour earlier before the estimated time of successfully calibrating the newly made heart.

Today I had many things to do. The busiest day since decades ago. And later I need to ask Zandik about the 'Kamera'. Though I highly doubt he has it after it broke. At the very least, he should have a blueprint on how he made the prototype.

Carefully grabbing the glass jar, I stood up to head back to Dottore's laboratory. It is the only place I ever felt safe to place my prize possession. Walking through the maze-like hallways, its spaciousness leaves room for echoes to be created ; hence it wasn't my fault that I heard a secret conversation between two fatui members.

A cicin mage had her arms crossed over her chest, speaking in a much laid-back manner to the regular fatuus in front of her, "Lady Rosalyne had summoned me to accompany her to Liyue for diplomacy partnership with the Qixing. You can't come with me, this is our farewell, Theodore."

"Liyue… Liyue, you say? Oh- well, lord Tartaglia will also be there! I can make a request letter to be assigned to join him." Said the fatuus, his tone went high at the end of the sentence.

"Oh… really?" Her arms droop to the side.

"Yes! We wont be separated. Ever!"

"Ugh-"

The fatuus pressed his palms together, bending 90 degrees to the other, "So Alyna, please accept my offering and go out with me to the Lantern Rite!"

"Declined."

"Alynaaa-!"

Lantern Rite. Isn't that the festival that happens once a year in Liyue Harbor? It has certainly been a long time since it was mentioned to me. The sound of the man cries became far distance when my pace quicken to reach the laboratory faster. I bet Liyue will be packed because of it. A lot of people from other nations would want to witness it at least once in their lifetime.

I, too, wish to see Lantern Rite.

Discarding the alien heart on one of the operating table, I barged inside of Dottore's office. It didn't matter to me that he wasn't Zandik. To go out to the real world, I need not his permission, but his wealth. Or the Regrator's wealth.

"Dottore, I am going to Liyue harbor."

"What? No, you're not."

"Indeed, I am. I just decided now."

"What's the reason for such impromptu trip?"

"This years Lantern Rite is just around the corner. You already refused me once, now that you have no need for my presence these few years, certainly you loosen up?"

In the past, I used to always invite him when we were both Driyosh. Unfortunately, he never accepted it ; not even once did he try to think it over. Lantern Rite is to be celebrated with family and friends. Thus, I never ended up going ; it would be boring anyway.

The dark circles under his eyes are apparent. The soft locks of his blue hair nicely rest nearly over his crimson eyes that stares directly at me. His right ear still wore a singular blue-vial earring.

His hand, holding a fountain pen, which was just writing on blank documents, stopped just above it.

"Even if you said that, I have no time to go with you."

"I never asked you join me this time."

"… What?"

Evidently, his brows furrowed. He was clearly upset but did not say a thing. At last, he sighed in understanding.

"Alright, you may enjoy your time there." He said, looking back down to his work.

I shook my head, "I am not here for permission, instead I need something from you."

"And that is?" He looked up and tilted his head.

"Mora for my travel. The Regrator has given you funds, right? "

He smirks, "oh dear, those funds are for my experiments. Surely, you know the difference between experiments and travels."

My face grimace and he chuckled like a choking crow.

After I finished packing up the essential things I need, I headed straight to my carriage. However I noticed someone was already there. The very same blue haired friend. Red eyes and sharp teeth. Though, not to be confused with the other one earlier. This one wore a mask which covers his face, only exposing his eyes and a circular part below the right side.

Why was a segment here? I am not sure.

Turns out when I questioned him, Dottore sent him to keep me company.

When we arrived it was the second to last day of the festival. It was ample time for us to enjoy ourselves. After the long trip, I decided to try out Liyue's delicacies. And later I will make a list of things to do with the segment.

Wanmin Restaurant had been famous for a very long time now, with their weird twist of ingredients. Anyone who wants to try their food has to have a heart of steel.

Sitting down at the empty seats outside the restaurant, the smell of spices couldn't be more familiar. I couldn't help but smile.

" What are you smiling at?" I looked at the man in front me. Brown hair, black eyes. He wore a blue fontainian vest and ruffled white shirt. It was the segment. Due to his awful reputation as the doctor, it was for the best. Besides he wouldn't want to be seen near me as the doctor.

"Doesn't this reminds you of Sumeru? So many people—excited to enjoy Lantern Rite. I can't wait for the time they release the xiao lanterns."

He scoffed, folding his arms, "Sumeru? I do not missed the nation that explicitly reject me. You should too."

I frown as I should've seen that coming. To be fair, I never should have mention Sumeru either on this joyous day. A hand tapping my shoulder caught my attention.

"Hello! What can I get you two?" A youthful girl spoke with full of enthusiasm. She had dark navy-colour hair styled in two long braids looped behind her back, and golden eyes shining brightly.

"Would you like today's special? It is the boiled fish and Jade parcels."

I nodded. "Sure we'll get those. And may I request for sugar-frosted slime?"

"Of course! I see that you two are not native, how have been enjoying Lantern Rite?" She place her hands on her hips.

I smiled, "we just arrived here. Haven't started looking around yet."

"Really? Oh-! How about I suggest some places you can go to. There this opera house which tells many ancient tales of Liyue. There's also lion dance, and making mingxiao lanterns at the harbor." She exclaimed.

"I'll see them after this, thank you for the suggestions, Miss..?"

"Ah- my apologies! The name's Xiangling, the head chef of Wanmin Restaurant."

"Thank you, Ms. Xiangling. Oh right, do you not want anything?" I asked Dottore.

He shook his head, " I don't intend on eating."

"… Two sugar-frosted slime, please."

Dottore and I decided to head to the Opera house first. The way the story of Rex Lapis being told sent shivers down my spine. It was truly fantastic and it was night before I realized. Suddenly something caught my attention. It was a figure standing very anonymously at the bridge. It didn't appear human and it was beckoning for me…

Why not? I excused myself and walked closer to the figure. It wore traditional liyue robe. Once I was close enough it spoke to me:

"Do you have a wish?"

I stared in confusion. "Yes?"

"Well, I can fulfil it! Just tell me."

It was definitely a lie. Since it wants to lie, it is only fair I lie too.

"I have this friend. And he doesn't know I like him. Tomorrow night, I want to confess."

"Was it that man you were with?"

"Indeed."

It cackled, "then considered it done!" Before I could get a word in, my world turned dark.

The numbing sensation on my cheek wakes me up. The golden-haired traveller and their flying companion staring down at me. I was leaning on a wall. What the hell happened?

They stare at me with such sorrowful eyes, the golden-haired traveller spoke first, "I am sorry…"

"I am sorry…?" I questioned.

"Paimon's sorry too… to be frank, the guy you've been seeing rejected you…"

"I didn't expect him to punch me over my seductive gestures…" it said, covering its mouth with the long sleeves of it's robe.

I grabbed my head, standing up slowly. "I still can't understand."

"Paimon'll explain! So you see this ghost right here wanted to joke around and try to fulfil people's wishes, and you were unfortunately one of the victim!"

"Hey! Is it wrong to help people?!" It tries to argue. We all stare at it, frowning. "Ugh-!"

"So you possessed me and tried to make a move on my friend?"

"I swear I was soo close. I could feel it! Him falling in love."

At that, I burst out laughing which they all stare at me in shock.

"Pfft-! I wish I could've seen his face! Haha… hah, sorry, dear ghost, I lied to you. I never wanted him as a romantic partner. Truthfully, I thought you were just crazy, which you actually are. To actually help make a move on him… its hilarious just thinking about it! It reminds me that this happened once in the past… Nevermind, just as said, I already knew he didn't like me back. Thank you for the laugh, though." I shook my head, smiling. I tried to pat the ghost shoulder but it went through its body.

So I turned to the other two, I pat traveller's shoulder and Paimon's head, "thank you for helping me regain consciousness? Anyway, I'll see you somewhere in the future. Goodbye."

They wave goodbye to me as I began to walk away. The ghost muttered, "but he really was-…"

It was the last night of Lantern Rite, and I still haven't seen the segment the entire day. I could only assume he left me here alone.

"… How hard did that segment punch me?" I rubbed the bandaged up cheek. It was bruising quite fast. Just talking hurts. I leaned over the bridge handrail, below was flight of stairs where people stood to watch the Lantern Rite performances in front. Everyone cheered at the performance after performance. I merely gave a clap.

I sighed, it was truly lonely. I missed the chance to buy mingxiao lanterns, and I haven't seen all the things this festival could give.

When it was time the mingxiao lantern to be release to the sky, to honor the lost hero, I could only watch from above as people light up theirs.

"Aren't you gonna light this up?" A voice spoke.

It was the segment, and he had a lantern with him. "Oh, you bought that for me?"

"Who else would it be for? Hurry, everyone's already done theirs."

Staring at the lantern in my hand, I excitedly lit it up. The mesmerizing flames captivated me. It was the brightest thing I've seen all day. Soon I let it loose and it drifts up to the sky like the rest.

"Thanks, Zandik." I said to the segment. "Arent you gonna apologies for punching me?"

He rolled his eyes, looking at handrail, "oh, it says 'Gullible' on it." He pointed beside me.

"Where?" I turned to look but there was nothing. I frown, turning to look at him, "there's nothing-?" He pecked me on the cheek.

Quickly, he hid his face from me. "See? Gullible."

And the fluttering pit never dissipate.

[mourning-actor]

Sweet Days Gone By

dottore x reader

1.8k words

Ao3 link part two

Years had gone by in a blink of an eye. After the chance encounter with the fool, Pierro, he took Zandik in to be apart of tsaritsa's harbingers. I was sure to be discarded, but Zandik wanted me to come with.

Later that day, he is to be refer to as Il Dottore, or the doctor.

As someone not officially apart of the fatui, my days spent in the palace are full of boredom. Repeated cycles of insanity.

Dottore was far too deep in his interest and hadn't been spending his leisure time with me. I wonder why he would bring me here at all.

One day while I was in his lab, he took me by the hand, dragging me to the far side. This usually means he was excited to show me one of his experiments.

What I did not expect was this. An almost identical set of himself. Had he resort to cloning?

"What's this?" I asked.

"A segment of myself." Dottore was grinning to his eyes, he even continued to speak before I could fully open my mouth.

"I've been thinking there's been gaps with the timeline. If it only deceive the people in the future, planting eyes in different decades, centuries even eras will ensure my perception of time wont be altered..."

"I see. With the creation of these segments, you'll be conserving and maintaining the true linear of time is what I am getting..."

"Precisely, I'll also manage to gather different perspectives to further improve my experiments... I'd say this was a success."

Zandik had always been experimenting to stop time. Throughout the time I spent with him, his personality shifted. For the better and for the worst. He might become more mature, more patient but he'll also become far crueler and cold.

Seeing more and more of Dottore's segments being created, I wondered which is the real him I once enamored.

"Oh right, before you leave have this." Zandik took my face in his hand, reaching to the side of my head to the lobe of my ear.

A sharp pain made me flinched, it quickly dissipate once I felt a sudden weight on my ear, his smiling face as he muttered, 'perfect, we matched' under his breath. Looking at my reflection from the glass equipments of the laboratory, I figured what it was. He had gifted me the same earring he wore.

I hadn't seen zandik for far too long. Usually I would barge in his laboratory making him unable to further ignore me. That unfortunately led to me being banned stepping any where near 10 m of his work place.

However today, he had personally called for me through the blue-vial earring. Not that I was excited.

I stood at the entrance, relishing the feeling of finally being able to see it after so long. Opening the large door, I took a step inside. It wasn't zandik behind the desk, but a segment.

"Where's the real one?" I asked the segment. This one in particular has been present for a long time. The mask he wore fully covered his eyes, which was shaped like a beak of a bird. Crows or ravens, is what I am conflicted between. Only the smirk on his face is presence.

"Acting as if I am not real, are we?" Dottore fully turned to me.

I couldn't say much. Simply crossed my arms.

He frowned, "well, the *real* dottore had left already. He bestowed me his place for the time being. To deal with things that needs to be done. And that also includes the gift he has for you."

"A gift?"

He opened one of the drawer from the desk. Most of the space inside the laboratory consists of dottore's experiments. I guess the gift was also a part of his own interest that he was willing to discard by giving them to me.

A rectangular shaped item, with designs reminding you of Fontaine. if you were none the wiser, you wouldn't recognized it as a kamera.

"You can go ahead and leave now."he said as I took the camera from his hand. "I still have much more important matters to attend to."

Gripping the kamera, I didn't dare stare at him any longer so I swiftly looked back and got out. There was no need for me to dwell there for long. It wasn't the real dottore anyway. Before I fully left, a huffed was heard behind me. From displeasure or not, he was probably sulking.

The large door close behind me with a thud that could shake the entirety of teyvat. Dottore ought to find a better door. One that wouldnt hurt me. One day, this one will destroy my eardrums.

A piercing gaze from my right made me turned my head. A younger segment. Reminds me of his Akademiya days. This one wore no mask and that eases me. He wore a travelling fit. One where he uses often for expedition. A satchel slung over his shoulder, weighing him down. The same blue-vial earring rest on his ear.

"You have a kamera." He stated.

"and?"

"I need it." The segment was already holding out his hand expectantly. As adorable as the segment was in my eyes, he surely was a brat. But I gave in as easily.

He checked the kamera, flipping it up and down, left to right before beginning to march once more. Leaving me behind at the entrance of the lab.

Only his footsteps echoed throught the palace's halls. Until another joined him. The segment stopped and I bump straight to his back.

"Ow."

"Why're you following me?"I stared at him crossing his arms.

"That's my kamera, afterall. I need to make sure you keep it safe."

He stare at me with a frown. But didn't make any sound to show his displeasure. We continued on our merry way to the designated site. The sun was covered by the abundant clouds making the atmosphere around dull and gloomy. Yet the overcast reminds me of the first time I arrived in snezhnaya.

Dottore's segment arrived on a steep mountain, revealing a meadow just farther away. Where snow does not cover the ground in pure white and instead fills it with life of flora. The air suddenly got far better.

Despite the sunlight not giving its fullest beauty to the world, the new scenery gives me a sense of easiness. A freedom I could never get within the palace. Only then I noticed the segment had already walked towards it, leaving me behind. I tried my best to picked up the pace.

"What are we doing here?" I asked him, he was kneeling on the grass taking a picture of some flowers. "I found this place a while back, but didn't have time to explore it..."

"I didn't know you were one to like this sort of things." However, he didn't respond and moved on to another flower.

"Are trying to find a specific flower?"

He affirmed by giving a short hum.

"There's barely anything here, why even bother?" I continued, "its all weeds... Or is that-"

The segment threw my camera at me, almost directly hitting my face if I had not been able to catch it. Perhaps it was out of irritation, annoyance and disdain he had towards me.

"Just... Shut up. Go play with yourself or something." He says with gritted teeth and a soured face, turning around. I stayed silent as he stride closer to the middle of the meadows. What I didn't expect was for him to take out another kamera from his satchel and continues to photograph the dull flowers.

Looking down on my hand where I held the kamera, clicking some button, I scroll through the kamera roll. The sun did not basked its light to these flowers. That usually made them much more dead than alive, making them less picturesque. Somehow the segment still managed to take some good photos.

Zandik used to always borrow my 'kamera' when we go to expedition together. Back in the Akademiya, that is. I had no use of it at that time, thus it was practically his. It broke once day and he was utmost upset. He had asked me to help him take it apart—to be renewed.

I used to love the contempt in his eyes when I said 'no'. Staring at me with such hatred — something no one ever dared to. At last, I helped him take it apart. Though he couldn't fix it, he could understand how it works.

As much as I adored his animosity, the way his eyes brighten at the things he finds interesting will always stick to me more.

A shame he grew up to be distance.

The wind's picking up; I doubt the segment is finished with his photography. He had his back towards me, still kneeling. I didn't bother to say a word. When he finally stood up, he stare off to the distance. His clothes flutters in the wind. Yet he doesn't seem to be bothered by it.

Without much thought, I held the camera up and snaps it shutter.

We parted ways when we returned to the palace. No goodbyes, no last glances. The reason for our returned was snow had fallen down. If it wasn't for it, I am sure the segment wont be coming here any time sooner. He also brought some flowers back. All stuffed in his satchel.

I entered my room in haste. Wanting to take a warm bath and change my clothes. I dropped my cape onto the floor and walked to the bathroom and locked the door. While the bathtub is to be filled with lukewarm water, I placed my kamera on the cabinet. Then I grabbed it once more. Taking off my shoes and enter the half-full tub.

My clothes drenched as I scroll through the camera roll. I only managed to take one photo of the segment. A shame. Truly a shame. Not only that, the quality itself was bad. Has my skills in this field dimmed? My 'kamera' without a doubt would've made this picture thousands of times better even if my hands shake.

Nevertheless, he was still ethereal. Like a dead wife in movies...

Fixing my 'kamera' wouldn't take too long, I reckoned.

I dry my hair with a towel while walking towards my closet.

However, when I stood closer to my desk, I noticed something unfamiliar.I let the towel rest on my shoulder to grab the flower.

Creamy-white in colour, its petals are fuzzy. It also had a strong scent to it, similar to almond?

"Ah, meadowsweet, isn't it?"