TheAbyss

Thoughts that pop out from a possibly delusional definitely undiagnosed mind

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Me, My Music, and the City at Night

There's a certain vibe that hits differently when I'm driving in the city at night with my favorite songs on loop.

Amidst the hectic schedules and the daily grind, it's nice to know there are these pockets of stillness in my life that remind me to enjoy the journey just as much as the destination; A third space where I can comfortably be alone but still feel like i'm  part of a bigger whole.

There's a certain vibe when it's just me, my music, and the city at night that just hits differently;

That feels just right;

Right where I belong.

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Bring me back to the night we held our first embrace;

Back when we didn't need words to know that we both didn't want to be the first to let go.

Bring me back to the days we yearned for the other's presence;

Back when the future didn't matter because a moment with each other was all we were after.

Bring me back so I can re-live them all one last time and I can finally let go of these feelings of mine.

I know we both loved each other though not in the same way and that is why the space right by your side is no longer a space I can stay.

It's not fair to you to have to let go of the bond we built so many moons ago; But it's not fair to me to stay waiting for a love you can't send my way.

So thank you for loving me as much as you could and in so many ways that I never would. But now I have to learn to love myself more in ways I never loved myself before.

Who knows, this might be a goodbye or it might just be a see you later; But wherever life takes us, i'll wish you well, always and forever.

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An Ode to A Memory I Remembered I Forgot

It seemed like it was only yesterday when all I could write about was you.

I would craft tales of the conversations that go unsaid whenever our eyes met;

Hours on end searching for the right words to convey just how much I missed your smile;

And the poems that filled my pages used to speak of the touch you left behind.

But now my words no longer even carry whispers of your name; a name that I remembered I forgot.

So here's to you.

I may no longer think of you often but know that whenever I do, I still think of you fondly.

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Unlucky

We think it unlucky when we find ourselves in bad situations; but more often that not, it is only in bad situations when we truly find ourselves.

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On the Machinations of Destiny

Destiny is a funny thing;

Some people have it good being tightly bound together by the red threads of fate;

Others who aren't so lucky, were destined to never even meet each other;

But the worst of the lot, are those who were destined to just find each other once and only ever see each other again in their dreams.

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The Cruel Nature of Moving On

Do I miss you? Maybe or maybe not.

Maybe it’s not you that I miss;

Maybe it’s the side of you who called out my name with a smile when you spotted me in the crowd just to say hello;

Or maybe it’s the side of you who took the flights of stairs to walk with me instead of riding the elevator;

Or maybe it’s the side of you who gave up your space in front and went to the back of the line when you saw I was there alone.

Maybe it’s not you that I miss;

Maybe it’s the side of you who made me feel that I was someone you enjoyed spending time with.

That’s why it hurt when you left without warning.

But I guess people change and maybe you lost that side of you that cared about me;

Or maybe I was wrong and you never had it in the first place.

Whatever that may be, someday I’ll wake up and realize that I don’t need to hear the answers to these questions you left behind.

But until that day comes, all I can really do is stop my mind from crawling back to the only place of solace it’s ever known, my memories of you.

Such is the cruel nature of moving on because the truth is, closure is a luxury not everyone is privileged to be given and sometimes it’s for the best that I won’t get it.

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A Single Spark

A constant battle that people don’t see, goes on and on inside of me.

Every morning when I wake, a deep breathe is what I take to fight the demons that hide inside and fool the world with a smile so wide;

And when the working day is done another battle has been won. A moment’s reprieve is all I get as the sun begins to set. For tomorrow is another day; another battle coming my way.

Someday, maybe, they would get the best of me but until they can completely put out my light I refuse to give up without a fight.

Because all it takes is a single spark to light a fire in the dark.

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Melancholy of the Stargazer

Tonight I looked up and saw the stars for the first time in a long time and somehow it reminded me of you and the times we spent together.

I know it’s been years since we last talked and we might not even see each other again in this lifetime but it felt comforting to know that even though we no longer share our time together, we still share the same beautiful night sky;

And I hope that whenever you look up and see what I see, you too will think of me fondly.

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Our story

Our story was merely a product of circumstance; A suspension bridge effect that lasted longer than it should have. But, at that time, it was all that we needed.

Looking back, I only wish we could have made something more out of it.

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Confidence Tips from an Introvert

Tip #1

When sitting beside an attractive stranger, DO NOT think about how close the distance is between yours and his/her shoulder. Otherwise, you WILL panic.

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Adventures of nerdy boy: an outline of an almost love story

1. Nerdy boy is reading a book in the park.

2. Pretty girl comes along and sits beside nerdy boy.

3. Pretty girl takes out her phone and headset and starts listening to music.

4. Nerdy boy can’t concentrate on his book because pretty girl is too close.

5. Nerdy boy tries to think of a good conversation starter.

6. Nerdy boy couldn’t handle the pressure and chickens out at the last minute.

7. Nerdy boy runs away and lives to regret another day.

The end.

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The stranger 2

The moment she entered I knew I was inlove.

The stranger walked towards the seat next to mine. Her jet black hair and pale complexion seemed to glow under the light of the sun seeping through the window; and the contrast between them only brought out the best of both.

If there ever was heaven on earth, I might have already caught a glimpse of it when our eyes met and she smiled.

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The Dream

I dreamt about you a few nights back.

It was the first time i’ve dreamt in a long time so of course it had to be about you.

Nothing happened much in the dream though. We just talked about giving us another chance.

Even now, days after the dream, I still remember the smile on your face so close to mine and the beat of my heart when I held your hand.

If it’s true that dreams are the manifestations of our greatest desires, then it seems my greatest desire is just to be able to talk to you again.

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The stranger

He was a constant liar who wore a mask when he faced the world all the while building walls where ever he went.

She was a stranger; Unfamiliar to his ways. Through innocence or ignorance, she was the only one who believed in the truth behind his lies.

When their eyes met he knew she was the only person he could never ever lie to ever again.

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Of Contentment, Love and Happiness

He thought he was happy before he met her. As it turns out, he was just contented.

She came into his life and showed him what happiness really meant and because of that he could no longer settle for contentment.

She became an important part of his life and he’d like to think he became an important part of hers too.

But theirs was a love that was never meant to be. One that would end at an almost but also one that he would never forget.

So thank you for showing him what he has been missing out on. Thank you for giving him a glimpse of what happiness is. Where ever she is now, he hopes she can find her happiness too.

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A Question from No One

You work hard to be good at a job you hate;

So you could chase a dream that’s not even yours;

For a future you don’t feel happy being a part of.

Why?

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The Taxi Stand

There’s a taxi stand nearby that brings back memories whenever I see it.

It always transports me to the night we had our last conversation.

I still remember hearing the sound of your voice as you called out my name that night and seeing that familiar smile as I turned your way.

I remember hanging back and just simply talking about the future while we were waiting for your turn in line.

And when it was finally time for you to go, I remember mustering all the strength I had not to choke up as we said our goodbyes.

Now whenever I pass by that stand, I’m half expecting to hear my name, half hoping to see your face; and when I realize all that is just a memory now, I always end up wondering how different things would have been had I chosen to take that ride with you.