Ways to get Jehovahâs Witnesses to fuck off (as written by a former Jehovahâs Witness)
Ask to be put on the Do Not Call list. If you think itâs necessary, ask to watch them get out the territory card and write it down, but realistically, Witnesses in my experience are pretty good about this and the only time it wonât be honored is if someone forgets to check your address or if itâs been like 10+ years
Tell them you are an apostate. They are not allowed to speak to apostates at all, ever, but especially in regards to their beliefs. They arenât supposed to go to places/events where they know apostates will be
Argue with them. Jehovahâs Witnesses are instructed to end the conversation and leave if it becomes clear that someone wants to debate rather than just passively learn and accept that they were wrong before. This might get you put on the DNC list without even asking
DO NOT answer the door naked. You wouldnât think this needs said, but intentionally flashing people is sexual harassment, and Jehovahâs Witnesses frequently preach with childrenâ both as a training thing and because people are more likely to be receptive. They say every JW whoâs preached long-term has gotten a naked householder at least once. Do not do this
DO NOT unleash your dogs in the yard. First off, your dogs arenât as mean as you think they are lol. Second off, almost every JW has been dealing with giant jumpy dogsâ againâ since they were children. Letting loose your dogs will get their dress clothes muddy, possibly tear them, and maybe scare some children/a few adults who will simply pass the door to someone else. It will also make every other dog in the neighborhood start barking. This isnât helping you or anyone else
DO NOT call the police. Evangelizing is fully legal in the United States and JWs are not soliciting anything. Some areas make Witnesses get permits to preach, but thatâs it. One time an elder in my congregation had people raise their hands if theyâve ever had the cops called on them, and it was two thirds of the Hall. Witnesses use these incidents to further their persecution complex. If you call the cops on them, they will absolutely be back next week, even pushier and more determined
stormborns
vaporwave
