I rate movies based on the mouths.

[moviemouths]

LOVELACE I feel very crude posting this given the subject matter of the film, but...

8/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

JAMES FRANCO'S INDIEGOGO VIDEO No way I can elaborate. Plus when good mouths talk about movie stuff I'm just pudding.

10/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

THE EAST These two put their mouths on each other's mouths.

9/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE I don't have the words, y'all. Though Eric Bana's mouth does less than nothing for me so I have to subtract a point. But just... yeah.

9/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Uhhh...

??/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

JENNIFER'S BODY I'm a monster. I'm sorry.

10/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

FRANCES HA This movie isn't even out yet but when you know, you know.

9/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

127 HOURS While I have complicated feelings about James Franco as a person, my feelings towards his mouth (even though his lips are really chapped in most of this movie) are very straightforward.

8/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

KILLING THEM SOFTLY While the movie itself teaches us that only one woman exists in Boston, and she is a hooker, it features Brad Pitt (an old mouth favorite) and Scoot McNairy (one of the best recent discoveries, mouth-wise). Unfortunately James Gandolfini is also in the movie and his mouth makes me uncomfortable.

5.5/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

ARGO The strong points of Argo are Clea Duvall and Scoot McNairy's mouths. Also the movie's good and stuff but we don't care about that here.

7/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

THE SOCIAL NETWORK The film suffers because of Jesse Eisenberg's mouth. Even the combined efforts Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, and TWO Armie Hammers can't make up the difference.

3/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

SOUND OF MY VOICE Brit Marling also makes me want to start a Handsome Brow blog. But I won't.

7/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

JOHN CARTER These mouths are... out of this world...

8/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES Alden Ehrenreich has 1. a difficult to sound out last name and 2. a great mouth. Bonus points for Emmy Rossum, one of my favorite mouth-havers, for also being in this movie. Thanks everybody. Unfortunately Jeremy Irons and his old man snake lips do affect the score.

6/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

ALMOST FAMOUS It might be the mustache but it also might not.

6/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

DREDD Possible successor to McAdams' Mouth Crown, Olivia Thirlby has one of the most promising mouths of the 21st century, possibly all time. Combine that with the fact that Judge Dredd himself is 90% mouth and you get...

10/10 mouths.

[moviemouths]

TO THE WONDER Rachel McAdams has a (too small) role in this film. Her presence in a film means an automatic 6. Olga Kurylenko also has a good mouth. Ben Affleck never talks in this movie and you barely see his face, come to think of it, so his mouth doesn't even count. Also I don't care for it much in the first place so why is this even up for debate.

7/10 mouths.