Set Fire, fire Fire

[mpirelia]

irelia spluttered, unable to refute a single word that khonshu had spouted, a disgruntled look etched upon her face as she gave a very unladylike huff, crossing her arms with a small whine.

she pouted, grumbling to herself as she plopped right down onto her bottom, squinting her eyes in deep contemplation at the egyptian god.

"well..." she hummed, stooping as she curled into herself, fingers rubbing against her chin as she considered his question with the utmost seriousness that she could possibly muster. "i kinda figured pizza was going to be good with the obscuring vision part. you know, a big fat round pizza right in your face would do wonders to making someone completely blind, especially with all that sauce dripping down your face." her hands waved around her face dramatically as she enthused. "maybe you can send me flying towards him at like a super speed or something and i can just smack it right into his face." irelia's eyes widened happily at the thought, a shit-eating grin blooming upon her lips as she happily imagined a pizza smacked viggo scowling at her, as if her victory was assure from just imagining the entire situation.

she scowled once more at khonshu's words about it being her plan to get back at viggo--sure the god was right about that and all...but it wasn't her fault that viggo had somehow managed to turn him meowing into something advantageous for him.

the demigod scrunched her nose.

"i mean aren't gods kinda better at plans? especially chaotic gods?" she huffed. "and it's not my fault that the last time i won against viggo and got him to say nya like a cat, he still managed to turn that into something advantageous for him."

[mpirelia]

❛ i don’t judge people on their worst mistakes. ❜

answering memes -- feel free to continue!

"but--see, i don't make mistakes." it's with a ridiculous air of confidence that the demigod utters those words, folding her arms as she studied jiayi with a gaze that bordered on both being half offended that she thought that she'd make mistakes, and curiousity. "well, if you're asking me to do some kind of things like cooking then, of course i'll make mistakes. i suck at cooking."

she picked up a dice, rolling it between her fingers.

"but if you want me to do anything else related to like finding information, gleaning things about other people..." she hummed lightly, squinting slightly as she peered up at the sky. " i'm pretty great at it to say that i'm confident that i won't make any mistakes." there was also the fact that she could spy on others by simply being a bird. ahri hadn't found out about that until years later, a testament to her skill, the demigod thought proudly to herself. "so don't you worry."

[mpirelia]

❛ when the enemy becomes certain of their victory, that will be our chance. ❜

answering memes -- feel free to continue!

instantly, the demigod's lips parted into a light "o" of understanding. " so you're saying that once viggo lets his guard down, we'll be able to smack his face full of pizza? that's the plan?" she scowled for a moment, thinking quietly to herself of how many different ways she could practically see this going wrong--just because this was a plan against viggo, who was, for one, capable as fuck, and two, took his food as seriously as it was a mission.

"why do i have a feeling that this will end badly? like fucked up badly? why do i also feel like i'd be the one getting the short end of the stick here? and why do you have to phrase it like its some kind of cool plan?" she demanded, finally realizing how ridiculous her enlistment of khonshu in her vengeance plans against viggo sounded to her own ears. "why aren't you stopping me instead?"

[mpirelia]

" i think i'm gonna have to ask you to leave the kitchen before you hurt somebody. "

meme answers!

irelia scowled almost petulantly, like a child not being awarded her favourite candy as she stared at the kitchen knives with a strange longing that completely failed in looking innocent.

“but~” she huffed, folding her arms as she slid off the counter, inching her way towards the knives. “they look so shiny and sweet.” a finger reached to touch the handle of the shiny new kitchen knives. “just let me throw them once, won’t you? once won’t hurt!” she slid a little closer to lio, neck tilted at an extreme angle (due to her short stature, and his ridiculous height) as she tried to appeal to…whatever lio’s cuteness conscience was.

“i’ll even promise to throw them outside so they won’t dent your walls, and invidia won’t find it out at all. how’s that for ya?”

[mpirelia]

lioxmp​:

It was not a threat, not yet, even though the seriousness exuding from the way he looked at her was enough to confirm that he meant everything word he said. It was nothing personal, probably; Lio was just that determined to see his dream blade came to life. 

At Irelia’s indirect request to leave, he nodded, taking a few steps back, while the friendly smile was again drawn on his lips. “Of course, you can go whenever you want. Just text me when you get my ice cream, okay?” 

irelia stretched, noting the conciliatory smile upon lio’s face as soon as he mentioned the time by which she had to return his ice-cream. 

“i’ll be here by 8. Ish.” she paused, sucking in a breath. “i mean technically you dated ahri, and i’d consider dating ahri as something dangerous as well. so yes, you’re right. we both like dangerous things.” she huffed as he took the spoon away from her hand, scratching behind her ear as she moved from one spot to the next, nails scratching lightly against her chin as she contemplated his words. 

“you’re joking.” she comes to a proper standstill as he took a step closer, squinting as he locked his eyes with her own. “as a fellow blacksmith, you’d rob me of such an opportunity?” she shoves him back, discomforted with the sudden lack of personal space that she had, lithely jumping over the counter to the other side to put some space between them.

the demigod didn’t like to admit it, but leo was great with threats. even someone who felt as little as she did failed to control that strange frisson of a chill running down her back at his words–and to make things worse, he had said it all calmly. 

“i’ll do just that. and stop trying to be intimidating!” as soon as lio lightened up, irelia grumbled at him, batting her hand at him as she slipped towards the windows to make her getaway. “i’ll call you as soon as i get that ice-cream. i mean text. not call. text.” she pointed at him. “i’ll see you wherever i see you.” 

[mpirelia]

❛ there’s still time for you to change your mind. ❜

answering current meme! -- still accepting!

"yeaaaaaah...about that. what do you mean change my mind?" the demigod couldn't help but give a bombastic side-eye towards inari as they continued on with their cooking class. "what do you mean de-skinning cucumbers in this is a bad idea? its a good idea! the skin and the smell--" irelia's all but cut short at the sudden waft of cucumber scent drifting right her way as she crumpled into a squat and groaned, the deformed cucumber that they had been using for cooking still clenched tightly yet vengefully in her hand.

"fuck. i'm not changing my mind about these things being the foulest things to exist."

[mpviggo]

Viggo easily relinquished his hold on Irelia as she doubled up in fits of barely controlled laughter. Of course she found the whole fucking thing funny; her with her insane idea of a bet. But he knew her, and knew all her little reactions. That was the only reason why he kept silent and waited for her to finish whatever act she was pulling. Because he had seen her react to his voice near her ear, felt her arch against him almost imperceptibly. All these years they had known each other, coupled with Viggo's feline instincts. He knew.

And so he watched her, those eyes courtesy of his connection with Bast narrowing as he studied her, like a cat with its prey. It was a good thing he didn't have said cat features too, for he was pretty sure his tail would have been swishing in interest at his study, ready for the pounce.

His silence was just as telling as her babble was, stalking closer to the petite demigoddess purposefully. Whatever she was doing in his kitchen, it still cost him, and he'd probably had to clean up her mess later. Later. For now he was determined to make her regret ever winning that silly little bet of theirs.

"Mhmm," he echoes with a thoughtful hum, not necessitating that ridiculous nyah with that sound. He smirks, eyebrow raised as if to ask are you done?

My turn.

Quick as a flash, he reaches for her again and trapping her wrists with one hand he tugs her in close. He starts to nuzzle her, not quite kissing, just the tip of his nose skimming alongside her jaw and that sensitive spot down her neck. "Mhmmm," He hums again, his deep voice rumbling against that soft flesh.

How about now?

[mpirelia]

after years of being not not together-- technically, it was still a surprise to the demigod of morrigan on how her body reacted so naturally towards viggo and his...whatever it was that he always tried to do. (no, she wasn't going to say it, or put a name to it. he wasn't sexy. that was all.)

a hiss mixed with a little mewl of a moan escapes past her lips embarrassingly as she squirms beneath him, the soft rumble of his deep voice against that spot right against her neck sending a pang of anticipating thrill right through her body.

she twitched, fidgeting as she felt his frame press against hers suggestively, breathless laughter as though to prove that she wasn't exactly frazzled by his sudden attempts at seduction wasn't quite working as well as he'd thought it'd be.

"mhm what?" he challenged, ready to shove her leg inbetween his thighs just for a good measure, muscles tensed and rippling as she wriggled against him, trying to ignore the way that she was brushing right up against where he wanted her to be, her little huffs of exertion a tantalizing display against the shell of his ear.

"you're not as sexy as you think you are..." she tilted her head, as though trying to find the right words to draw his ire. "cat boy."

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  sentence  starters  of  various  quotes  that  can  be  said  from  the  hero.  looking  for  the  villain  version?  click  here.  )

❛ there is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for. ❜

❛ just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn’t mean they’re lost forever. ❜

❛ i can’t do this. but even if i can’t, i have to. ❜

❛ i just wish i could protect you from everything. ❜

❛ when did the dragon ever die from the poison of a snake? ❜

❛ experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. ❜

❛ do you need a reason to not want to lose? ❜

❛ i did what i had to do to give you the only chance at peace you’ll ever get. ❜

❛ heroes are made by the paths they choose, not by the powers they are graced with. ❜

❛ if all you do is look down on people, then you won’t be able to see your own weaknesses. ❜

❛ when the enemy becomes certain of their victory, that will be our chance. ❜

❛ name one hero who was happy. ❜

❛ it’s never too late to do the right thing. ❜

❛ there’s still good in you. i know. i’ve felt it. ❜

❛ you trusted me, so then i’ll trust you too. ❜

❛ everyone has a part of themselves they hide, even from those they love most. ❜

❛ i survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me. ❜

❛ we have to be greater than what we suffer. ❜

❛ hope is the only thing stronger than fear. ❜

❛ don’t worry, i can handle this. ❜

❛ you call yourself a villain? ❜

❛ their blood is on you. you killed them. ❜

❛ you don’t get to forget. whatever you did, you don’t deserve to forget. ❜

❛ there’s still time for you to change your mind. ❜

❛ i don’t think i can be the hero you deserve. ❜

❛ i’m always picking up after you boys. ❜

❛ let me show you how a real hero does it. ❜

❛ i am trying to do the job that you were meant to do. ❜

❛ the fact that you are here is proof that whatever tried to beat you lost. ❜

❛ i don’t judge people on their worst mistakes. ❜

❛ there’s nothing crueler than letting a dream end midway. ❜

❛ we each survive in our own way. ❜

❛ i thought maybe they’d realize that they need me. ❜

❛ what would i fight for if i wasn’t fighting for you? ❜

❛ you’re still a hero even if you only save one person. ❜

❛ i know under all that rage is a beating heart. ❜

❛ it doesn’t need to end like this. ❜

❛ i’ll never lose, and i’ll never die. ❜

❛ maybe i failed this time, but i’m not giving up. ❜

❛ with you by my side, i feel like i can do anything. ❜

❛ enjoy your win. it’ll never happen again. ❜

❛ what makes you think i’ll go easy on you? ❜

❛ let’s fuck some shit up is my legal middle name. ❜

❛ i’m not the hero you think i am. ❜

❛ they can’t do this to me. I was supposed to win ❜

❛ you can come back. i’ll bring you back. we’re in this together. ❜

❛ you’re special. you were born to do great things. ❜

❛ we can be heroes just for one day. ❜

❛ everyone’s got good and bad in them, it’s up to us how we use it. ❜

❛ it’s alright, you could never hurt me. ❜

❛ i refuse to let my fear control me anymore. ❜

[mpirelia]

❝ You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it. ❞

old memes -- feel free to reply!

irelia stared at the japanese god with a nonplussed look upon her face, the cold water running over her hands as she held what seemed to be a badly misshapen--no, a badly shaved cucumber in her hands.

"i'm removing the stench." she straightened up with a huff importantly, eyes narrowed slightly as she turned her attention back once more to the poor cucumber she so disdained in her hands. "and why would people hate me for shaving a cucumber and washing it until all the juicy stuff it has is completely gone from it? i'm doing them a favour."

[mpirelia]

mpxtsukuyomi​:

Tsukuyomi watched with disinterest as the demigoddess proceeded to mangle the cucumber in her hands. That was the least of his concern, and when she was done explaining what she was doing to the cucumber he cared little about, his expression was blank as he turned towards the stove. “I mean the noodles,” he deadpanned, a finger pointing at the pot pointedly. “They’re grotesquely overcooked.”

How he ended up here in a cooking classroom with people who seemed the most disinterested in cooking was beyond him. He remembered the most delicious soba he used to have that was made by… never mind that. If he craved it he thought he could make in himself, an idea that he regretted with every living cell in his body as soon as he stepped foot in this classroom. More so when he was assigned a spot next to this one, who not only mangled a cucumber but dared to overcook the soba.

irelia paused for a moment, watching the god next to her point sharply towards the noodles that she had left, forgotten right at a corner. clearly, something was happening, and irelia was never the type that succeeded well in the kitchen--from burned eggs to attempts at making a salad, viggo had always had an aneurysm whenever she had attempted to make something in the kitchen. 

still, that didn’t mean that she wouldn’t do something like learn, or try.

“what about them?” she blinked innocently, watching as the forgotten pot of noodles bubbled furiously, the top nearly flying off at times at the force of the boiling water beneath it. “no no, they’re not overcooked. they’re just right. the just right as in the type of chewy, bouncy texture. i’m sure of it. i followed the instructions in the book.” she turned her attention back to the cucumber in her hands, giving a disgruntled huff towards the japanese god beside her, disgruntled smack of her lips as she gave her cucumber another disgruntled shave down its poor body. 

carefully, she nudged the recipe book towards the edge of the table, pointing it out with a jerk of her chin as she raised her brows back at tsukuyomi. 

“you’re saying that the recipe book is wrong?” 

[mpirelia]

❝ You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it. ❞

memes -- answering!!

"nonsense." its almost in her nature by now to respond to everything that maxim says in the exact opposite way--just to see how he'd react to things. the popcorn in the popcorn bowl finds its way to her mouth once again (despite having been deprived of the bowl multiple times and yet still). " you can't sit here and tell me that drinking scene leading to that fakish goopy thing when he looks at himself in the mirror that they used for poltergeist wasn't a clever buildup to you when you first watched this movie." she waved her hand absently in the air, brows knitted into a frown as she slid comfortably to the corner of maxim's pretty couch.

"it makes sense! like the worm got into him and that's why he became strangely crazy. so like. it isn't stupid and everyone doesn't hate him for it." she blinked at him owlishly, as though every single thing that she was currently saying made actual sense (though genuinely, it was absolute nonsense and she probably knew nothing proper about it. not that she would ever admit it though, sadly.)

[virusinfected-memes]

TUMBLR TEXT POST SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 2 ;

75 starters. CW: blood mention, cussing, death. Starters come from various text posts floating around Tumblr. The only thing changed for this post was adding capitalization and punctuation. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed! [PART 1]

“Academia is cool and sexy until I’m expected to work.”

“An anime with more than a hundred episodes is a bigger commitment than marriage.”

“Anyone who believes all water tastes the same is no acquaintance of mine.”

“Anyway, that’s every reported eyewitness account of Mothman through ‘68, and that’s just in West Virginia! Haha, but enough about me. Let’s hear about your top five cryptids!”

“Aside from being the worst person alive, I am literally perfect.”

“At the end of the day, I’m just a girl who loves her bed.”

“Being equally obsessed with each other sounds hot to me.”

“Being good doesn’t get you anything.”

“Be the worst you can be.”

“But do aliens believe in me?”

“Don’t let anyone dehumanize you. Dehumanize yourself. Be the creeping eldritch horror you’ve always longed to be. Rain furious vengeance down upon those who would unmake you.”

“Do something today that would’ve gotten you burnt at the stake four hundred years ago.”

“Do you ever just want someone to come over and sit on the floor with you for a few hours?”

“Do you ever wanna listen to music, but every song is just not the right song?

“Feeling safe around someone’s energy is a different kind of intimacy.”

“Flirting is childish. We’re grown. Just tell the person you like that you see God in their eyes.”

“Friendly reminder that the age of technology is coming to an end and a new age of blood magic and dark rituals will take its place.”

“Friendship is temporary. Blood pacts are forever.”

“Girls don’t want boys. Girls want to live in a Victorian estate and be the most feared widow in the village.”

“Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole.”

“Having a body causes me so much agony. I wish I was just a floating entity with no physical form.”

“How do I overthink so much and still make the wrong decision?”

““I can fix him!” You can’t even fix your sleep schedule, bestie.”

“I don’t care if your body is a temple. Call me when it’s been closed down and taken over by Spirit Halloween.”

“I don’t know about soulmates, but those people who eat parts of the food or candy that you don’t like and you do the same for them… We’ve lived a hundred lifetimes together, probably.”

“I don’t think we can romanticize our way out of this one, boys.”

“If you see me in the streets, just know that my mind is in the void. I’m physically alive, but mentally checked out.”

“I guess we all learned a valuable lesson. Except for me. I wasn’t paying attention and was asleep for most of the time.”

“I hate when people ask what I would do in their situation because nine times out of ten, I would literally never be in that situation in the first place.”

“I hope manners is the next cool trend.”

“I just love sleep so much. Like, you just close your eyes and you’re gone, bitch. Brain logged the fuck off. Powerful.”

“I just realized there’s, like, a hundred new Pokémon coming this year, give or take, and I have to decide what personal memories and details about friends to forget in order to make room for them all.”

“I like my women like I like my woods. Haunted and could kill me at any moment.”

“I like to fuck around and waste time at least six to ten hours a day, and let me tell you, that puts some pressure on your schedule. You have no idea how busy I am.”

“I love to learn. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t like to remember.”

“I love when I ‘make a mental note’ of something. It’s gone within twenty seconds.”

“I’m not a religious person, but I do sometimes think God made you for me.”

“I’m not playing hard to get. I genuinely don’t know how to talk.”

“I’m wearing dark glasses today because I’m seeing the future, and the future is looking very bright.”

“I think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way. Really, it’s so cute.”

“I think making sense is optional. Sometimes I just be talking.”

“I think the meaning of life is eating good food in the company of people you love.”

“It’s because I’m pretty, that’s why I have problems.”

“It’s crazy how I’m just some person.”

“It seems you are in love with your computer.”

“It’s not rude to interrupt someone to point out a dog. It’s actually more polite because then they don’t miss out on the dog.”

“I will never elaborate because I have no idea what I just said.”

“Live, laugh, love? Nah. Languish, lament, lay down.”

“Michael Myers taught me a valuable life lesson. Don’t worry about how fast everyone around you is moving. If you’re determined, just move at your own pace and you’ll kill shit every time. Thanks, Mike.”

“Moving to the forest to eat leaves and lie in the dirt. Insurance companies can’t deny me this.”

“Okay, bored of being alone now. Ready to get married.”

“Okay, hear me out… What if—now bear with me—we held hands? Maybe even kiss a little? Hugs would be nice—”

“People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about. Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.”

“People who fall asleep right away freak me out. Don’t you bitches have thoughts?”

“Really starting to understand old people these days. I love letters. Love packages. Terrified of my email inbox.”

“Someone take me out. Either in the assassination way or in the date way.”

“Sorry for being so sexy and having the best taste in literature. As if I asked for it.”

“Sorry I called you a fucking idiot. I was trying to flirt.”

“So what if I love you? Shut up.”

“The fact that I have to be in the ‘right headspace’ to do even the simplest tasks is absolutely humiliating.”

“The only difference between me and a medieval peasant is that I can make a Spotify playlist to express my feelings.”

“The only reason I haven’t gone insane is because I romanticize everything.”

“There should be a dating app where you talk to people who borrowed the same books from the library.”

“There’s something inherently holy about kitchens.”

“Tired of being a person. Would much rather be an unidentifiable and nebulous entity that lives in the woods and may or may not be an omen of misfortune to come.”

“Wanna haunt the neighborhood with me tonight?”

“Well, I used to be attracted to people, but now I’m exclusively attracted to abstract art and the concept of death.”

“What is the logic behind naps leaving you with a weird taste in your mouth? I wasn’t eating, I was sleeping. It’s the spiders, isn’t it?”

“Winnie the Pooh didn’t rock crop tops our whole childhood to watch us become unconfident about our bodies.”

“Yes, I’m dramatic! What did you expect? I read classic literature for fun.”

“You’d look prettier under six feet of dirt.”

“You don’t always need to talk. Like, it’s good to shut the fuck up sometimes. I love not talking.”

“You gotta walk into rooms like God sent you.”

“You’re beautiful, but you’re empty. No one could die for you.”

“You wanna know what’s annoying me right now? It’s me. I am annoying the goddamn shit out of myself.”

[mpirelia]

❝ You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it. ❞

old memes -- feel free to reply!

irelia stared at the japanese god with a nonplussed look upon her face, the cold water running over her hands as she held what seemed to be a badly misshapen--no, a badly shaved cucumber in her hands.

"i'm removing the stench." she straightened up with a huff importantly, eyes narrowed slightly as she turned her attention back once more to the poor cucumber she so disdained in her hands. "and why would people hate me for shaving a cucumber and washing it until all the juicy stuff it has is completely gone from it? i'm doing them a favour."

[mpviggo]

we don't talk together

with @mpirelia

As far as days go, Viggo's was, for the lack of a better word, absolute shit. Being trapped due to a snowstorm wasn't exactly something out of his realm of his experience. In retrospect it was something he had done before. What he hadn't done was soothe a bunch of scared middle-aged people about a possible magical attack. He had done it, plied them with food and coffee until it was over. Now almost 24 hours since he had picked up his shift at Noona's, he was finally making his way home.

At least, that was what he was envisioning, a glass of scotch and his bed. Only for him to curse softly under his breath the minute he opened his apartment and felt more than saw that his night was just beginning.

"You better not have fucked with my ingredients again," He said quietly, knowing that the only person who could break into his apartment would be able to hear him.

[mpirelia]

mpviggo​:

Viggo knew he miscalculated at the absolute smug expression on Irelia’s face as soon as he turned the corner. The fact that his kitchen now lay in shambles–his knives everywhere, bowls and spoons in disarray, wasn’t as bad as Irelia’s total victorious smile.

He narrowed his eyes, the only indication he was pissed at his mistake. Viggo watched her carefully, studying her dancing like how he would a mark, ignoring all her little barbs in an attempt to goad him.

With a flash, his arm shoots out and catches her around the waist, feline eyes narrowing and almost glowing. “You really want to test me, little bird?” Deep voice rolling in husky tones as his other hand cradles her cheek. “Want to test your little bet….” Viggo leans close to tuck her hair behind her ear. “nya?”

aw...fuck. 

irelia froze as soon as the other demigod captured her around the waist, eyes determinedly wide as saucers as she reflexively gripped viggo’s arm, trying to force some faint sort of distance between them as viggo came unbelievably close to sexually moaning in her ear. 

fuck.

she shuddered, grasping a hand over her mouth as she gave a terrible rendition of someone trying her best not to hurl at viggo’s attempt at being sexy. 

“fuck. jesus.” she shoved him away instantly, half sagging in his arms as soon as she realized belatedly that it was almost impossible for her to make a getaway with all of viggo’s attention focused upon keeping her locked right where she was, in his arms. “that’s fucking creepy!” she shrieked, shoving her hand right into his face as she renewed her attempts at squirming out of his grasp, ignoring the way his eyes narrowed into a glower at her actions. “ yeah i’d test it on the ground of it making me hurl. you really thought that was sexy?” she paused for a moment, gathering herself from her frazzled reaction towards his sudden, sensual nya against the shell of her ear to scrutinize his features. “oh fuck. shit. you really did.” the corners of her lips trembled with the urge to laugh, as terrible that decision to laugh at him was whilst still being confined in his arms, the demigod of morrigan could hardly stop herself, shoulder shaking slightly as she coughed and tried to stifle her snorts from turning into full blown howls of laughter. 

“its cringey as fuck, viggo.” she pats him right on his chest, preening like a proud peacock as she smirked victoriously at him. “not sexy at all. mhm.” 

[mpirelia]

" i think i'm gonna have to ask you to leave the kitchen before you hurt somebody. "

meme answers!

irelia scowled almost petulantly, like a child not being awarded her favourite candy as she stared at the kitchen knives with a strange longing that completely failed in looking innocent.

“but~” she huffed, folding her arms as she slid off the counter, inching her way towards the knives. “they look so shiny and sweet.” a finger reached to touch the handle of the shiny new kitchen knives. “just let me throw them once, won’t you? once won’t hurt!” she slid a little closer to lio, neck tilted at an extreme angle (due to her short stature, and his ridiculous height) as she tried to appeal to…whatever lio’s cuteness conscience was.

“i’ll even promise to throw them outside so they won’t dent your walls, and invidia won’t find it out at all. how’s that for ya?”

[mpirelia]

lioxmp​:

“I know the standard is high, but that’s how I want it,” Lio responded, the calmness in his voice tone left no room for mortification. 

His eyes fixed on the back of Irelia’s head, then on her face when she returned with a mint chocolate ice cream tube - the newest one he had just bought yesterday - in one hand and a spoon in another. His silence did not stop her from hoping on the counter or messing up the flawless ice cream with ugly, messy scoops that promptly disappear behind her talking lips, but that was so much of an Irelia thing he did not find any use in fighting back. Almost. 

“Sometimes you make me believe that Ahri starves you, not what you ain’t deserve though. But since you’ve got the list, I’ll let you live.” He tucked his joke behind an absolutely no-kidding attitude, a bitter sharp glance grazing against the ruined ice cream tub before shifting back to fix on the demigoddess’ eyes. 

“I bled Ares. And who the fuck wants to own a piece of shit anyway?” He remarked, the cockiness in his smirk was subtle, but it was there, pretty much palpable. If that wasn’t confidence, Lio did not have another word to describe what he felt when Irelia mentioned taming a powerful soul. Silence once against settled in the room as he gave her suggestions a deeper thought. 

“What about a half-sentient blade that has the potential to grow fully sentient? Just like a human, growing with time and experience? At least I want it to have the soul of someone who can put up a good fight, not just some random brawny stupid shitbag.” 

Lio reached his hand out to pour himself a cup of water, downed it in one go, then continued, “I’m not well-trained in the technical side, that’s why I’m asking you. We can ask Hephy about the techniques, and I can go talk to Hel and Izanami about the soul thing.”

Lio then concluded, with a firm nod of his head and a smile that could be described as fairly friendly, “And yes, you’re going to buy me a brand new mint chocolate ice cream tub. I need it in my fridge by tomorrow night.”

“by tomorrow?” the demigod echoed lio’s words as though she couldn’t quite believe what he was saying. “what do you mean by tomorrow night i’ll have to give you a brand new ice cream tub?” the temptation to pout her way out of this was high--but one, lio was not ahri, and two--fuck, she’d been spending way too much time with viggo that pouting tendencies had started to worm its way into her hardy exterior. 

almost immediately, irelia’s face fixed into a tight little scowl, as though the thought of trying to be cute actually failed to register. 

“you’re thinking of using ares’ blood for the half sentient blade?” her eyes sparkled almost at the thought, chewing over the thought carefully with another lick of the ice-cream coated spoon. “that’s...brave...but dangerous. fucking dangerous.” she declared, back ramrod straight and a wild spark in her eyes, as though she was talking about something exciting instead of dangerous as per she said it was. “i think half-sentience is possible? might be possible. a growth type sentient blade though.” she hopped off the counter, falling into an indepth spree of vague but thoughtful thoughts, ruminating on the possibilities with a focused narrowing of her gaze and a finger rubbing lightly against her chin. 

“wait. do i get to sit in and listen? as your blacksmith i get to sit in and listen, right?” she demanded, arms akimbo as she stared at him sharply. “i wanna know more about the soul thing. as for techniques, i’ll ask hephy. or find a way to ask hephy without him knowing. maybe i’ll waltz up to him one fine day and ask him subtly, like--hi, nice bright burning day for a soul to be in a blade, do you happen to know how to do that?” she exhaled slightly, pausing to finally start at lio once again with tightly pursed lips. “....now that we don’t have anything else to technically talk about...do i have to stay?” she gave a discomforted little mumble, a light huff and puff of consternation as she slipped around his counter once more, trying to put some distance between them for no reason at all. 

[mpviggo]

we don't talk together

with @mpirelia

As far as days go, Viggo's was, for the lack of a better word, absolute shit. Being trapped due to a snowstorm wasn't exactly something out of his realm of his experience. In retrospect it was something he had done before. What he hadn't done was soothe a bunch of scared middle-aged people about a possible magical attack. He had done it, plied them with food and coffee until it was over. Now almost 24 hours since he had picked up his shift at Noona's, he was finally making his way home.

At least, that was what he was envisioning, a glass of scotch and his bed. Only for him to curse softly under his breath the minute he opened his apartment and felt more than saw that his night was just beginning.

"You better not have fucked with my ingredients again," He said quietly, knowing that the only person who could break into his apartment would be able to hear him.

[mpirelia]

mpviggo​:

Viggo’s eyes narrowed and a fist grips his doorway, hearing the very irelia-esque reply. He could easily bust her fun by marching inside his own apartment and possibly hog-tying the other assassin, but he knew from experience that that was just going to make Irelia even more belligerent. And so he held his tongue but made a very audible sigh be heard.

“Why challenge a bet you can’t win?” His baritone more pronounced now due to lack of sleep. Feline eyes narrowed as his nose twitched. The smells from the kitchen definitely told him his vegetables were being marred. He had been looking forward to making some Tuscan chicken later this week, the spinach was a key ingredient.

“I bet that you do, as you always do.” He pushes himself off his doorway to fully enter his apartment, slipping off his work shoes as he did so. “And as the winner of this bet you’re about to be…”

Feline eyes narrowed as he surveyed the scene in his kitchen. “What the fuck, Irelia.” The last epitaph was released with barely a soft breath, feline eyes narrowing into slits.

a mote of tender underlying cunning glee could be detected in the other demigod’s smile as soon as viggo made his choice that she’d probably have ruined his vegetables. 

“i fucking win!” she crowed, throwing the last bit of the veggie leaf that she needed into the salad bowl as she pointed at him in sheer vengeance of victory. “ i fucking won the bet! aha!  fucking yessssss!” she did a happily little jig, pumping her fist as she flung the apron off in delight, giving the veggies in the salad bowl a rough little mix. “and for your information, i was making a salad. but i guess you couldn’t think of that.” she deliberately licked the sesame sauce of the mixing spoon with a raise of her brow, smile sharp and deliberate. 

“now!” she demanded with a point of the mixing spoon. “ you have to say nya at the every end of your sentence! as the winner of this fucking bet you have to do it and i have the obligation to see it through completely.” she leaned in close, dancing as she weaved in and out, making sure to get riiiiight into viggo’s personal space as she cooed at him gloatingly. “it’s nya time, cat boy. put that peachy ass to use and nya all you want at me.” 

[mpviggo]

we don't talk together

with @mpirelia

As far as days go, Viggo's was, for the lack of a better word, absolute shit. Being trapped due to a snowstorm wasn't exactly something out of his realm of his experience. In retrospect it was something he had done before. What he hadn't done was soothe a bunch of scared middle-aged people about a possible magical attack. He had done it, plied them with food and coffee until it was over. Now almost 24 hours since he had picked up his shift at Noona's, he was finally making his way home.

At least, that was what he was envisioning, a glass of scotch and his bed. Only for him to curse softly under his breath the minute he opened his apartment and felt more than saw that his night was just beginning.

"You better not have fucked with my ingredients again," He said quietly, knowing that the only person who could break into his apartment would be able to hear him.

[mpirelia]

as far as irelia those that knew irelia well or understood her--there was one thing that the demigod was just genuinely really bad with--and that was coping with her own self, especially after going hungry for quite a while.

she was what you'd call hangry whenever she was hungry, a perpetual mix of a wild, yowling cat on a hunt for its food and yet not, lashing out at anyone who had the sad choice of chancing upon her.

and now, as it was, she was currently taking her temper out on viggo's precious veggies and herbs.

"stupid, nasty veggies." she muttered under her breath, plucking a leaf from the stem of the poor spinach as she scowled belligerently. of course, she meant viggo for not going to pick her up from the smithy. she had to walk her on an empty stomach--the demigod's face scrunched even further into a disgruntled growl as she crossed her arms and huffed.

"wanna bet if i did or didn't?" she all but retorts, focusing her time and energy on plucking the next leaf to chuck it into a bowl as she tried her best to follow the recipe written on the book that she yearned to hurl across the room. "i bet that i didn't ruin your goddamn fucking ingredients. and if it turns out that i really didn't ruin it, then you lose the bet and have to do whatever shit i say. vice versa." she sniffed, miffed at the thought of having to do whatever viggo demanded her to do. " make your bet before you come through the door, or i'll hurl a knife at you."

[mpirelia]

" i think i'm gonna have to ask you to leave the kitchen before you hurt somebody. "

meme answers!

irelia scowled almost petulantly, like a child not being awarded her favourite candy as she stared at the kitchen knives with a strange longing that completely failed in looking innocent.

“but~” she huffed, folding her arms as she slid off the counter, inching her way towards the knives. “they look so shiny and sweet.” a finger reached to touch the handle of the shiny new kitchen knives. “just let me throw them once, won’t you? once won’t hurt!” she slid a little closer to lio, neck tilted at an extreme angle (due to her short stature, and his ridiculous height) as she tried to appeal to…whatever lio’s cuteness conscience was.

“i’ll even promise to throw them outside so they won’t dent your walls, and invidia won’t find it out at all. how’s that for ya?”

[mpirelia]

lioxmp​:

A sentient blade. 

Lio let those words echo in his mind as Irelia went on listing the possibilities and queries for this tough project. It had always been apparent that it would take a lot to forge the dagger of his dream; the son of Sekhmet had little hesitation in getting his hands dirty if that was what it took. 

“A personality sounds fun, just don’t want it to have an attitude,” he affirmed, corners of his lips tugged up into a humorless smile, “at least it should listen well.” The way he reclined against the wall, armed folded, legs crossed, the vague smile resting on his face, and the way his eyes landed on Irelia, nothing gave out a clue of the messed up thing being discussed between them. 

“Want me to list?” He replied to her question about the individuals he deemed not worth the life they were given; his low chuckle made it sound like a sick joke, but it wasn’t entirely unserious. 

“did i?” she murmured placidly, as though the very thing she hadn’t been suggesting moments before wasn’t murder. “ and please lio--don’t you think you’re placing the bar for the dagger a little too high to ask for a sentient being to have a personality and not an attitude? aren’t both like a couplet or something in ways?” she paused, eyeing his fridge suddenly and making a beeline for the freezer. 

before anyone knew what had happened, the demigod had opened up the freezer--and nicked a tub of ice cream, a spoon vanishing from the tabletop as she spun the spoon as though it was a butterfly knife in her hand. 

“ a list sounds good.” she shrugged almost nonchalantly, hopping onto the counter as she cracked open the ice cream tub’s cover and gave a pleased little oooh. “hope you don’t mind me having some ice cream. but yes, anyway--even if you didn’t have a list...” the spoon digs deep into the sweet treat, the ice cream disappearing into her mouth next as she gave a happy little kick of her feet and moan at the milky taste of the ice cream spreading over her tongue sweetly. 

“i already have a list of potential buddies anyway.” she managed to finish her sentence through a huge mouthful of the ice-cream, grabbing her head slightly as she swallowed the sweet treat a little too quickly, the act resulting in a rather quick brain freeze. “ i think the schematics of whether you need a weaker soul or a stronger soul depends. the basic worry of it would be if its a weak soul, the blade could just possibly turn out as the shittiest sentient blade to ever exist. but if its a stronger soul--they may not want to be serving under you. get what i mean?” she wagged the spoon at him, legs swinging as she dug into the ice-cream for yet another thoughtful bite. 

“usually i would go for a stronger soul, but that’s because i’m confident in my own capability in being able to suppress or tame a stronger soul.” irelia couldn’t help but give a wild grin at the thought, one hand slowly clenching into a happy little fist. “i’ll just you know--blacksmith it. if it doesn’t want to be put into fire and hammered away again...” she trailed off, a light cackle at the thought. “it also depends i guess on what kind of ability you wish for it to have. i would think that personality or its sentience would still have to be compatible with the power it wields. or maybe--what if, the blade isn’t fully sentient? like it has the very barebones of a basic personality? it’s not able to speak but can feel certain emotions that perhaps can be emphasized through magic? this is all in theory of course, i suppose we’d have to ask uhm...hecate? maybe? and our boss? hel? uh... any god or goddess that knows more about magic, souls and blacksmithing than us anyway. they might have to watch over the procedure too, so that things can be safe.” she looked sadly at the now empty tub of ice-cream, sticking the spoon into her mouth as she gave another grumbling sigh.

“i’ll buy a fresh tub of ice-cream for you, for the one i ate today, is that good with you?”  

[mpirelia]

mpviggo​:

“At least you won’t freeze to death, the forge is lit right?” He gives a soft chuckle. “The fucking irony would it be if you got offed by a storm while in a forge.”

He stretches a bit, bidding the other staff to clean up with a quiet gesture. “Not that you asked, but I’m at Noona’s. I’m about to check if the heating is okay. If this pattern holds, I’m assuming power will go in a few hours…” He gives a soft hum. “Ahh fuck, the meat’s gonna spoil.”

“ i don’t have a big ass attitude.” it’s only with viggo that the usually stoic and nonplussed irelia whines like a brat, the huff and pout upon her lips almost apparent through her voice as she gave him a scowl over the phone. “so what if the forge is lit? i don’t have any fucking food here. we’re gonna starve to death.” 

of course--she’s just being nothing but dramatic. but when was irelia not dramatic around viggo? 

this was just something normal. not that there was anything unique between them that warranted her doing things that were otherwise...something less seen of around others. 

“can’t you come?” a whiny irelia is almost a needy irelia, with strange demands and enigmatic interpersonal decisions--especially when it comes to anything related to viggo. “like when the blizzard’s better and all? and bring mac and cheese.” she grumbled, rubbing her stomach slightly as her belly rumbled at the thought of food. “i haven’t had any food since morning, since i thought the afternoon was going to be great for a walk, far away from you and your iffy shit.” she squinted her eyes, picking up her tools once more as she stalked towards the forge. 

“give me some ideas.” she demanded. “no food in my stomach equates to having sucky ideas crap themselves out in my head for weapons, and we can’t have that, can’t we?”