Mpreg Jeff Bezos

I'm so swollen 😳🥴😩

[mpregjeffbezos]

Can’t wait to pop this baby out and put them in an Amazon warehouse, since they’ll be wearing a diaper anyway.

[vigilantsycamore]

Ebenezer Scrooge: Goes outside

500 Muppets: There goes Mr Asshole! There Goes Mr Bitch!

[forthegothicheroine]

[beggars-opera]

DOOMED, JEFF

YOU’RE DOOMED FOR ALL TIME

[mpregjeffbezos]

Do you think they would also sing to my unborn fetus?

[mpregjeffbezos]

My baby will not inherit my assets, because those belong to me. Only I can have them. I have to have all of them. The most of Them.

[mpregjeffbezos]

I’m sorry we all didn’t die when we went to the moon or wherever the fuck it was, but somebody has to stick around to raise my sweet little spawn growing in my richy daddy tummy uwu

[mpregjeffbezos]

Happy Valentine’s Day! Today I’m giving all Amazon drivers an extra bottle to piss in, and I’m only charging them half the usual price!

[mpregjeffbezos]

Alexa, add fetus to my shopping cart.

[mpregjeffbezos]

goo goo gaga

haha that's what my baby will sound like when it's born probably

[mpregjeffbezos]

Happy Mother's Day to me! uwu

[mpregjeffbezos]

I was impregnated in space.

[mpregjeffbezos]

I’m going to have a Martian baby before Musk does.

[mpregjeffbezos]

I was impregnated in space.

[mpregjeffbezos]

It's kind of like my fetus is being assembled in the Amazon warehouse of my womb

[obsolescencia]

[the-dune-popcorn-bucket]

boop away, y'all #boopcorn bucket #easy cleanup

[mpregjeffbezos]

Boop my unborn, please.

[the-dune-popcorn-bucket]

she bene on my gesserit til I gom jabbar

[mpregjeffbezos]

I fucked capitalism, AMA

[mpregjeffbezos]

This week only, if you sign up for Prime, I'll invite you to my baby shower. Please refer to my Amazon wishlist.

[mpregjeffbezos]

I can feel my little billionaire spawn kicking around in there

[mpregjeffbezos]

which yacht should I give birth on