NAUGHTY OR NICE Results - 12/17/21
“He's making a list,
Checking it twice,
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice...”
A cheerful, upbeat Christmas carol we all know and love – but if you were there to witness the events of MPW's Naughty Or Nice, you can now hear them in your head ringing with a grim note of ominous foreshadowing. Even the card mirrors the lyric: a string of matches sure to entertain, an action packed night.
What was meant to be a fun filled final hurrah to end the season before a two week break will now go down in history as one of the most remarkable, tempestuous, and absolutely unforgettable nights that fans and stars alike have ever seen. From the opening bell of the Scramble to the final bell of the World Championship main event, every high soared to brink of space itself...and the lows will leave Millennium Pro Wrestling forever changed. Whether or not it's for the better or the worse is a matter of opinion and the will of the one great equalizer: time.
Buckle up, folks. Spoilers below for Naughty Or Nice to follow – and I must preface with additional warnings because this particular night...some things must be seen to be believed, or to be fully appreciated. If you really would rather wait to see this show on the MPW Youtube channel, please don't read further lest you ruin your own fun.
Warnings in place...let's do this.
NAUGHTY OR NICE SCRAMBLE
Rebel Storm vs. Danny Divine vs. Miggy Rose vs. Bad Medicine (Bulletproof & Dr. Phil Goode) vs. Bryan Carter
For those unfamiliar with the Naughty Or Nice Scramble, the rules are fairly simple:
Six competitors enter the ring at the same time
Four “gifts” hang above the ring
There are no pinfalls, no submissions, no count outs and no disqualifications
Once a participant retrieves one of the gifts, they are eliminated from the match and may leave without further participation
The match can only end when all four gifts have been retrieved
The last two men standing, sans gifts, are the losers, and all other participants must return to the ring to reveal what their gifts contain
While Bad Medicine were the first to arrive in the ring, the most important 'first' of this match went to the deserving and dedicated Danny Divine.
That was, of course, the distinction of being first to punch The Perfect Gentleman in the face.
From there, the match devolved into general chaos. The action is hard to track with two men in the ring or even three, but with six you can do little more than note the highlights – and there were several. One was the Rebel Storm's first attempt at a pinfall, another had Divine literally dangling from the rafters as he tried to secure a gift. There is also, of course, the matter of both Miggy Rose and the Rebel Storm pulling down the same gift at the same instant, with the match continuing until one man alone laid hands on the errant prize. Finally, with an assist from his partner and a promise to split the winnings, Bulletproof secured one of the gifts by sitting on the shoulders of Dr. Phil Goode.
At the end of the night, the winners of the match were Danny Divine, Bad Medicine, Miggy Rose, and Bryan Carter.
The disposition of these “gifts,” however, is where this match takes a turn for the shocking.
Danny Divine: a card redeemable for one match – Any Title, Any Time
Miggy Rose: a card acting as a contract for a match against Eric Watts
Bad Medicine: a lump of coal
Bryan Carter: a card naming him general manager of MPW in the year 2022
Suffice to say, after the realization that he'd basically come away with nothing, Bulletproof was furious after the reveal of his present. Leaving the ring in a rage and decisively excising himself from his partnership with Phil, fans were then left alone with the realization that the MPW Board of Directors, for whatever reason, had appointed Bryan Carter as the man who would be in charge of Millennium Pro Wrestling going forward.
Come 2022, fans will be living in the era of the M.O.B. and their ring leader. Heaven help us all.
Tag Team Championship Match
M.O.B. (Michael Hopkins & Diego Valens) DEFEATS Full Send (Dustin Daniels & Bucio)
A hard contest to enter after the absolutely staggering implications of the previous bout, nevertheless Full Send came to the ring ready for a fight. While Carter shoved his prize in the face of every fan with enough mettle to try and boo him down, Valens and Hopkins seemed to be feeling fairly confident as well. One can hardly blame them – come the new year, their own manager will be running MPW, meaning it could be a long title reign under the leadership of a man who clearly has a vested interest in keeping the belts far away from anything resembling legitimate competition.
However, despite the implications Carter's new future role may have, tonight the M.O.B. didn't have to worry. While they appeared to be on the same page at the start of the match, giving fans hope that the tag team titles were returning to their rightful owners, things swiftly went downhill. An early advantage by Full Send was lost when Dustin got in the ring and ended up trapped in the M.O.B.'s corner. Kicking out of one pinfall attempt after another, Dustin did his best to hang on, but through a combination of keeping Bucio off the apron and a little interjection from Bryan that was purely lawless and blatant interference, Full Send showed signs of life that could not prevail.
After a couple of suicide dives by Bucio that were promising, in the end an accidental blow to his partner cost Full Send the titles, with the M.O.B. winning by pinfall. As the champions celebrated all the way back to the locker room, there was obvious frustration and discord in Full Send's camp, with Dustin visibly distraught over the bitter loss. Whether or not this will further aggravate the intermittent signs of discontent between the tag team partners is anyone's guess, but nevertheless 2022 will see the continuation of the M.O.B.'s tag team title reign.
National Championship Match
Brendan Divine DEFEATS J2 w/Auntie Hydie
NEW NATIONAL CHAMPION: Brendan Divine
After last week's confrontation with Artorius and Hydie, both members of Auntie's Void, this contest was already set to be a prolific one. Given Hydie's comments provided exclusively to the X-Press, it was a clear cut battle not just for the National Championship, but for the soul of Brendan Divine and those of his Believers. Whether or not he could prevail over J2became less of a pertinent question than would Brendan escape this battle with his very sense of being intact?
Lined up to be prolific, it proved to be precisely that: a war for the oldest and most valuable of ideas, the triumph of light and goodness over evil and darkness. Laser focused as he came to the ring, Divine was pure energy: his usual smiles and waves were gone, but the air sang with electricity – with the connection he had to every single Believer in the audience.
When Hydie and J2 entered, with Hydie made up to be every bit the demon in actual horns and hooves upon her feet, the electricity dampened briefly – but when the two contestants were in the ring and the bell sounded, the air was heavy and perhaps a little subdued.
These were real stakes, and everyone in the room knew it.
In the beginning, it was the usual story: J2 was impassive and untouchable. Divine, however, couldn't seem to believe that – and it was a painful lesson to refuse to learn. J2 absorbed every blow like nothing, slammed Divine into the ring apron on the outside, tore into the challenger with blow after blow and a submission that Divine would not allow to break him.
There was a brief comeback, more than one. However, every time Divine gained an advantage, the dark power that had consumed J2 would prevail and leave Divine flat on his back again...yet even when Hydie jumped up on the apron to work her arcane will with some kind of casting to prevent Divine from hitting his Left On Read finisher, Divine would not stay down.
Even flat on the mat, with no hope, J2's weight crushing him for a pinfall...one limp shoulder just barely managed to roll up off the mat to break the count.
J2 had Hydie in his corner...but Brendan Divine had his Believers, and a little bit of luck on his side.
Luck, however, is useless if one can't take advantage of it properly. That was Divine's gift as a boon came in the form of timing, where J2 came at Divine with Hydie on the apron behind him – and J2's blow hit the wrong mark.
Hydie went down – and the sleeper hold went onto J2, who hit the ground with shockingly mortal force.
The bell rang, Hydie's puppet's strings cut, and the National Championship came home.
While the Believers celebrated with their leader on his victory lap around the ring, however, this reporter noticed something that I'm unsure everyone saw.
In the ring, as J2 came to, shaking his head...he seemed, for an instant, confused. Disoriented. Alert.
Too swiftly, however, Hydie swept in to reclaim her golem. The awareness faded, and the moment passed.
As ever, however, our new National Champion, Brendan Divine, and his legion of Believers brought hope back to MPW because, for a single instant – the Playmaker was back.
Interlude
Just as Hydie and J2 left ringside, with a triumphant Brendan Divine preparing to continue his celebration, the MPW Arena went dark. Music began to play as tension built...
...and the restoration of the lights revealed a figure outside the ring well known to wrestling fans. A man no one expected to see on this night – a storm no one saw coming.
Tyler Bateman.
Making his way into the ring to stand toe to toe with Divine, the pair shared words none could hear. Even the commentary team was speculating, which the audience could hear with absolute perfection because, for the first time in this reporter's memory, not a single sound could be heard save for the muted tones in which Brendan Divine and Tyler Bateman spoke.
The statement being made was clear when Bateman took the title belt from Brendan, held it aloft, and laid it on the ground between them.
If any further clarification is required for you, beloved readers, let me spell it out for you: 2022 just got a hell of a lot more interesting for Brendan Divine.
HOLIDAY HARDCORE MATCH
Johnnie Robbie DEFEATS Auntie Hydie
Not unlike last week, during her interference in the tag team main event, Hydie's entrance to the ring was accompanied by the rattle of chains. They went well with her horns and hooves – the picture perfect personification of Krampus sent to punish a wicked child for her insolence.
Insolent Johnnie Robbie was, too, in a wintry sweater perfect for the spirit of the season and the headwear paired with pigtails that has become her trademark. From the moment the bell rang, it was all out war, with Robbie absorbing a huge amount of punishment from a relentless Auntie Hydie. Despite the early advantage, however, Robbie took over to dish out a beating of her own—one Hydie put quickly to bed by cracking Robbie over the head with one of the massive bells attached to Hydie's ring gear.
Vindication for the renegade Robbie didn't look good as Hydie continued the onslaught, manhandling Robbie like a child and even choking her halfway unconscious with a candy cane. Every attempt made by Robbie to gain an upper hand was thwarted, either by outright violence or because of the simple fact that Hydie would not stay down. Even a brightly wrapped bat wasn't enough to take Hydie out.
There's an old adage that says you can either get mad, or get even – and as Robbie reached her breaking point during the match, she clearly came to the conclusion that it's a lady's prerogative to have it all.
Given the nature of a Holiday Hardcore match, a giftwrapped bat wasn't the only toy at ringside, nor were candy canes and steel chains the only trimmings for the tree. Searching the gaily wrapped presents at ringside and under the ring itself, Robbie eventually found a box of festive ornaments to put to good use: by scattering them across the ring and using Hydie's body to shatter every single spangled orb she possibly could.
It was the ill-fated chains that proved to be Hydie's undoing, and with a little payback for choking Robbie and a trip to the top turnbuckle, Johnnie Robbie at long last reclaimed a little self respect by putting Hydie down for the pin.
The victory was Robbie's, but one has to ask: at what cost? Hydie entered Naughty Or Nice hoping to claim souls. She failed with Brendan Divine, but the hardcore savant we saw from Robbie at King Of Xtreme paled in comparison to the vicious streak Robbie displayed in this match. We can only hope that Hydie's influence isn't infecting one of the most promising young stars of MPW – a Johnnie Robbie that's given in to darkness doesn't even bear thinking about.
MAIN EVENT
World Championship Match
Ray Rosas vs Barbie Boi – THROWN OUT
This was a match that the wrestling world was holding its breath for – but in the end, there was no exhale.
Ray Rosas, as we saw him this night, was not the veteran sage of MPW, sharing wisdom and skill with the next generation. He wasn't the wild and crazy party animal that reveled in competition during his open challenge of 2019 and early 2020.
This Ray Rosas, coming to the ring in simple black trunks and a H.A.T.E. T-shirt, was a man with something to prove. Hungry, relentless...and angry.
So angry he slapped away an offered hand from the champion after Barbie Boi made his entrance. This was not a gentleman's contest tonight...this was a dream match about to turn into a nightmare.
In the world of professional wrestling, there are contests too close to call until the referee counts that final pinfall. There are some, like the legendary bouts between great men like Rey Mysterio and Dean Malenko, so perfectly balanced it seems neither man can gain an advantage.
Though Barbie Boi struggled, he did not, would not fall. This match – long, arduous, and hard fought – was so impossibly perfect that the crowd was often driven to silence, unsure who to favor. Barbie Boi would unleash a flurry of blows, but Rosas would immediately counter. Barbie Boi drove Rosas's head into the turnbuckle ten times, Rosas would counter and start mouthing off at Barbie Boi's family and fans at ringside.
The most perfect embodiment of this impossible contest was unquestionably the moment, near the end, when Barbie trapped Rosas in a figure four leglock. Rosas refused to tap, and so Barbie went for a figure eight. Rosas struggled until Barbie collapsed.
Another attempt. Rosas foiled it. Rosas eventually reversed it, but Barbie refused to tap...
When Barbie Boi kicked out of the Macho Man inspired big elbow that is the specialty of Ray Rosas, there was a sense that the crowd could soak it in all night – and very well might if one of these competitors could not gain the advantage.
What that advantage might have been, and who would have taken it, we will never know. The chance to find out was stolen by an event that just might go down in the annals of Millennium Pro Wrestling's proud history as the night the earth stood still.
A hooded interloper took to the ring then with an attack that got the match thrown out – an interloper that revealed their face to introduce the crowd to none other than Danny Divine.
I say 'introduce,' because this was not the man that the fans knew. Based on the look on Barbie Boi's face, it wasn't one he knew either – not with a wild, desperate look in his eye as fans heard his voice begging for forgiveness.
Because clutched in Divine's hand was none other than the card he'd won earlier that night. One match – Any Title, Any Time.
The battle ravaged diva of the Dreamhouse didn't stand a chance as Divine called for a referee, turned loose with a stomp, and ended the 2021 season as MPW's World Champion.
For Your Consideration
This is the place where I would forecast the next event, or give an opinion on what I'd want to see – ask you for your own.
Sadly, the next event, Genesis, isn't until January 7th, 2022. This year at MPW is over and done, and the things the future holds for us...Bryan Carter as our new general manager, a desperate man is now our World Champion, and the tag titles may become hostage to our new aforementioned general manager.
Yet, even with an inbound challenger, the National Championship is free from the clutches of Auntie's Void, and safe in the hands of Brendan Divine and his Believers. For one fleeting moment, we saw Hydie's grip on power slip when J2 woke briefly in the ring.
Two weeks is a long time, folks – and as a journalist, I'm not one to sit and wonder. When I have questions, I need answers...as I'm sure we all do.
So while the stars of MPW will be taking a well deserved break until after New Year's, the X-Press will keep rolling. My goals will be to get answers from Danny Divine, get further answers from The Perfect Gentleman about what his tenure holds in store for us...and share with you any other news I can track down along the way.
Reach out, readers, and let me know what you want to hear about – because a journalist's work is never done, especially when you're scavenging through the locker room halls of Millennium Pro Wrestling.
Happy Holidays, marks. See you soon.