↳ bitter like coffee;
@mpxyerin
Unfortunately, it still happens sometimes. Of course it's much less often than years ago, especially when it had just happened, but it never stops Wonwoo from feeling a little childish for his age, how it's wrong because it's been too long and he's sure that most people would be over even if it isn’t something so easy to get over with. It’s been five years since his mother has passed away in an unfortunate car accident and, yes, it’s been hard during the first years but by the fourth Wonwoo was able to go through his daily routine without grieving so deeply for her. Sometimes, he can even say that the topic is put aside for a few moments and it’s almost like she isn’t so dead anymore, like the fact that she isn’t with him anymore doesn’t weight as much as it used to, but there are times that it does. There are days that it’s like everything all over again and Wonwoo wants to curl up on a ball on his bed and just not exist for the rest of day. However, he can’t do that, he has responsibilities, people counting on him that he definitely can’t let down or let them worry over him especially about something that shouldn’t happen in the first place. He also has a test in his class today so he can cut his classes for that day anyway.
That’s why he finds strength and gets out of bed in the morning, however he still takes a little longer than usual and a couple of times he wonders if maybe he could actually just go back to bed, maybe he could redo the test, maybe he could call his dad and get the day off, maybe— Maybe his thoughts could stop for a moment because he has a day to go through. Eventually, he’s at Flower Mill for his usual morning coffee, his hair is a little messier than usual, his clothes poorly picked and for once the dark circles under his eyes actually make him look like he’s running on three hours of sleep ( which wouldn’t be a lie much less the first time ). He still finds in himself to smile to people, be his usual kind and polite person because they don’t have anything to do with the mess inside of him or how he’s feeling in a sore mood since he woke up. It’s hard to smile and not only because for once he doesn’t feel like smiling but because he has always heard how his smile was like hers and once again thinking about his mother leaves a bitter taste on his mouth, make his heart ache for a moment and his smile falters for a brief second.
He almost forgets about the little exchange of poems that is also part of his daily routine,only remembering when he meets the girl he exchanges them with. He smiles to her too, greets her with a good morning before sitting down on a table a little more on the corner than he’s used to while he waits for his coffee. It feels like he’s running on automatic and Wonwoo doesn’t know if that’s really a good thing or not, especially when he’s just so exhausted over everything that in the end, it didn’t really matter anyway, as long as people didn’t notice and asked him why he seemed so down since usually he’s much more bright and his smiles are clearly not strained.













