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Side blog/vent blog!

[mr-gentleman-priest]

. “ Use me up, and,

. when you're done.. ”

Hello! My name is Wilson, I'm 17, and I use he/they pronouns, or anything that's masc/nonhuman!! I especially like deer related terms.

This is a side blog!! It will be specifically for vents and personal things, so that I can keep my woes separate to my whimsey. My main blog is @mr-gentlman-scientist !! All follows and likes will come from there.

This blog will contain topics such as self harm, physical illness, eating disorders, sexual themes, substances, as well as general venty-rambles. Beware of this!

Byi, I am mentally unwell. I have Audhd, Bipolar, bpd, gad, and I experience delusions. All of the above is either diagnosed, or medically recognised with the intention of being diagnosed soon. I am also hypersexual.

Tags!

#hold faith ⊰⁠⊹ฺ -> general vents

#forgive me father ⊰⁠⊹ฺ -> sexual/substance related vents

#heavenly tunes ⊰⁠⊹ฺ -> lyrics

#anon tag ꒱ -> anonymous asks!

. “ Give me back,

. give me back to the ground ”

[mr-gentleman-priest]

When the slice of normalcy fades and I remember I'm an unstable weirdo and now I'm miserable

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Pit 🙂 in my stomach 🙂

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Again and again and again and again, do it again, do it again

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Nvm I don't care anymore

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Quick I'm spiralling ehat do I do

1. Run in a random direction until I cant breathe

2. Stuff my body with substances and energy drinks until I throw up

3. Cut until I feel light headed

4. Die

[mr-gentleman-priest]

I am filled with literally nothing but hatred right noe I feel likr I'm going to be sick

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Imliterakly watchjng this happen to me in real time oh my fucking god im judt that easy to repkace I'm sofucking donr

[mr-gentleman-priest]

I'm so confused and unsure and nothing feels right so I'm just constantly searching for what won't make me feel dysphoric, and now I think I need to sleep becausr it's that time of night where I start questioning everything and I don't need that on top of what I'm already dealing with

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Feeling like the biggest hypocrite, I was ranting about how amazing they are and how they're the best friend ever, then I completely miss all the signs like a retard. I should've just said something like "hey idk how late our curfew is we gotta go" or smth but I didn't cuz I'm slow UGFHHH

[mr-gentleman-priest]

I don't even know what I feel right now. But it's not positive

[mr-gentleman-priest]

I hate. This. I hate feelinf scared. Everytjnng scares me. I want ro be normal and think normally and feel normal aboit noraml things. At every turn, even if the feeling is small, I feel scared that what I'm saying, doing or askinf will make him mad at me. I hatr my brain

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Hey so I'm actually not a fan of the pit in my stomach rn

[mr-gentleman-priest]

I wanr to be able to bresthe without thinkjnf about you

[mr-gentleman-priest]

I'd slit my own throat just to see if you'd mourn me

[mr-gentleman-priest]

Mass unfriending people I don't talk to anymore and I find our old dms

[mr-gentleman-priest]

I wonder if you know.how badly you haunt me