"Negative B"
by Mr. Bizz. Fall 2011.
Backing track: "Nothin' On You" by B.O.B. and Bruno Mars.
Negative b, plus or minus, square root of b squared minus four a c
And it's all over two a! All over two a!
If you're thinking that this song's about a beautiful girl
Then you might as well be living in a different world
A world without div, grad, curl, or a limit
Infinite, got no meaning even when you sing it
1 2 3 4 5 and 6 afraid of 7
'Cause 7 ate a 9 he bought from 7 Eleven
So if your brain's the dough, then let this be the leavening
Agent, even if you're black, white, or Asian!
I love it when you call it Precalculus
As if Calculus was just next to us
Ridin' on a bus on a route called Math
While Algebra and Geometry make out in the back
So you take all the numbers from the number line
And variables and functions 'cause you think they fine
What you got isn't really hard to define
So you can say things like--
[Hook]
Negative b, plus or minus, square root of b squared minus four a c
And it's all over two a! All over two a!
You're guessing high, I'm guessing low,
Why don't we solve it, so we'll definitely know
That it's all over two a! All over two a!
... So you think you've got a
Second degree polynomial
Like a line in the sand, less proverbial
And you want to see it cross the horizontal base line
Drop the function low like a funky bass line
Case time! X-axis, let the function fall
Either two time or one time or none at all
Look at the discriminant--the sign of the result will tell
When this graph gonna kiss and tell!
Now arrange the terms in descending order
Start with the squared, go right if you're shorter
Then get the coefficients in front of the x's
Make them a, b, c, ride 'em like a Lexus
Plug them in the quadratic equation
Which one? The one in the hook's presentation!
And just in case the formula escaped your mind,
Don't cry! I think it starts like-- [Hook]
So your answers can be real or not
If they're both imaginary, that's a thicker plot
Don't forget the plus-minus sign
If you got two answers, then that's just fine
Sometimes, hope's infinitesimal,
So small, can't even see the decimal
But be brave, that's next year's test to us--
In calculus, uh! [Hook]
