Nowadays x-reader fanfic is just smut and who's banging who on the weekend. I miss going on adventures. I miss fics having plot I miss them being about saving a kingdom or finding out your parents were some great inventors and now you gotta go look for that thing they made to save a life. I miss fanfics being goofy and about found family (especially when they're not all banging eachother) what happened to fluff 😔 I'm not complaining, I do love a good smut fic, but it's all I see nowadays. Everything feels the same
Summary: Omega has a run in with a Nexu, You and Hunter argue about what's best for her. Crosshair tries to navigate life without his squad.
Pairings: Ex!Crosshair x f!Reader, eventual (?) Hunter x f!reader
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI; Angsty af, pining Hunter, confused reader, love triangle at work
WC: 4k
A/N: Soooo it's been a year and a half since I posted the last part BUT I always said I'd come back to it. So here I am, coming back to it. I have so many ideas for this story and how to make it different from the show. So for the next part, it will be a bit different. And I'll try to get it out in a better timely manner lmao.
Masterlist │ Taglist Form
The door to your barracks slides open and you make eye contact with Crosshair. When you stand up, he strides to you in less than 10 steps, wrapping his arms around your waist. Your fight feels so silly now, you realize, with the way that he’s looking at you. Like you’re everything to him.
“I’m sorry-” You both start. “No, I’m-”
Both of you chuckle, smiling at the other. Sliding your hands up his cheeks, holding him there as you stare up into amber brown eyes, warmth and forgiveness takes over. It doesn’t even need to be said.
“I understand you need your alone time.” He murmurs, brushing his lips over your forehead.
“Thank you.” You smile up at him before reaching up and kissing him. “And I love spending time with you, I hope you know that.”
“I do.” He nods. “I think I was afraid you were getting tired of me…”
“I could never.” You promise him.
This was the Crosshair you loved-
Wait… Do you love him? You’ve never said as much. Neither of you have.
I think I do, you think to yourself, searching his eyes for any hint of the possibility that he could feel the same way that you do.
He kisses you deeply and grips your hips in the way that he always makes you feel wanted.
“Crosshair-” You sigh against his lips.
“Hm?” He murmurs as he guides you to his bunk.
“I’m in lo-” You start as the doors slide open and both of you glare at Hunter as he walks in with the rest of the Batch.
“Did we interrupt something?” Echo smirks.
“Yeah, I’d say so.” Crosshair grumbles, letting go of you with an irritated huff.
You have plenty of time to tell him how you feel. There’s no need to rush it.
“Hmm. It appears all public transport is now restricted without chain codes.” Tech is telling the group after you sit down at the table next to him.
“Which Cut can’t sign up for.” Suu chimes in. “He’ll be arrested when they discover he’s a deserter.”
“The next shuttle leaves in a few hours. Codes or no codes, we need to be on it.” Cut looks at Hunter.
“Sorry, what’s a chain code?” You ask, looking at Tech.
“They are being used for identification purposes. They can tell your age, family history, and criminal record.” He tells you, handing you his datapad so you can look at what he’s been searching.
“Mom! Mom, it’s Omega!” Shaeeah comes running into the house, pointing out the door, clearly panicked. “She went out past the fence!”
Suu grabs her gun and immediately runs out the door with Hunter right behind her. You’re up out of the seat next, panic running through your veins as you drop the datapad to the table. You don’t know what sort of danger lies beyond the fence, but clearly it’s not good if Shaeeah looks that scared. The rest of the batch follows behind you, prepared to run to Omega’s defense. You watch Hunter run toward Omega and then you see it… a wild Nexu.
The Nexu growls dangerously, making your blood run cold. Hunter acts immediately, drawing out his vibroblade, heading toward it as Omega tries to make a run for it toward you. It pounces but gets stopped as a blast from Suu’s rifle rings out, stunning it for only a moment. Long enough for you to reach Omega and pull her behind you. Hunter swings his blade at the Nexu but Suu hits it again and it immediately takes it as a sign to retreat, thankfully. Suu gives it a few more warning shots as it retreats back toward the woods.
Hunter backs you and Omega up, looking up at you full of worry before giving Omega a frustrated look.
“What were you doing out there?!” Hunter demands. “Do you realize you could’ve been killed?”
“Hunter…” You give him a pointed look as Cut tells him to take it easy.
Omega curls into you and you lean down to make sure she’s alright.
“She’s not a soldier.” Cut puts his hand on Hunter’s shoulder before squatting down to look at Omega. “Are you hurt? Now, let’s take a look here.”
“I’m sorry… I was just trying to get the ball.” Omega looks down. “I didn’t know.”
Cut takes her from you and picks her up. “You’re safe. That’s all that matters. Come on.”
You watch as the father of two who clearly knows a thing or two starts walking back toward the house.
“Hey kid, you alright?” Wrecker asks, his face full of concern.
You give him a soft look. Wrecker is always the first to ask if someone is okay when something happens. It’s one of the things you love about the gentle giant.
“She’ll be fine.” Cut looks back for a moment before taking her up to the porch.
The guys all share a look of worry because clearly this isn’t something any of you are used to. You look over at Hunter who looks deep in thought and you feel like you can read his mind as usual. He’s probably thinking that this squad isn’t a safe place for a child as young as Omega. And while you can understand that way of thinking, you almost disagree. Omega seems to really look up to them already and you know that she isn’t going to want to part from them.
“All in all, I would say that could’ve gone much worse.” Tech speaks up.
Normally, you’d chuckle at his comments but he’s definitely not wrong.
“Tech, think you could forge some chain codes?” Hunter asks him.
“I only learned of them moments ago. But yes.” Tech nods, making you snort.
“Do it. We’re getting Cut, Suu, and the kids on that shuttle.” Hunter tells him, starting to walk away.
“When you say kids…” You start.
“Shaeeah, Jek, and Omega.” Hunter nods.
You stop him, placing your hand on his shoulder. “Hunter…”
He looks at you for a moment and then shakes his head. “Not up for discussion.”
“No, of course it isn’t.” You glare at him.
Echo, Wrecker, and Tech all look uncomfortably at each other before walking away to give you and Hunter a minute.
“She’s a child.” He leans in close, too close.
You can’t help but stare up at him. “A child that deserves to be with her brothers.”
“A child deserves to be safe… cyar’ika.” He glares but then softens at the last word.
You let out a frustrated sigh. Maybe he’s right. You don’t know the first thing about raising a child. None of you do.
Irritated, you walk away around the back of the house, pacing back and forth trying to work through your frustrations with your sergeant. Why is he so stubborn? You’ve always wondered if that could be a Jango thing. Not that you ever met the man. But none of the other batchers were like that. Except maybe Crosshair on a bad day.
As you approach the house, you see Hunter and Suu talking.
“I forgot how good of a shot you are.” Hunter praises Suu, his arms crossed as he smiles up at her. “I owe you one.”
Something confusing stirs inside of you. Heat crawls up your neck at the praise that Hunter just gave Suu. You know deep down that it’s not him flirting. But still… it does something to you that you don’t particularly like.
“Children will always find ways of getting into trouble, Hunter.” You hear Suu tell him as you’re walking by.
You don’t see the way that Hunter’s eyes follow your every move as you go into the house to grab your pack and head back to the ship. You’re grateful for the hospitality of the Lawquane’s of course, you just need some space.
Mostly from Hunter.
“Where are you going?” Wrecker asks.
“To take a nap in my bunk.” You mutter, not looking up at him.
You start to walk back out of the house at the same time that Hunter is starting to walk back in and the two of you practically bump into each other.
“Sorry-” You both murmur at the same time and if the two of you weren’t in such a weird place, you’d both laugh.
Suu and Cut both look at each other with knowing smirks before looking back at you and Hunter being awkward around each other for the first time ever. It’s weird and you hate it and you desperately want things to go back to normal.
You both try to move out of each other’s way and end up mirroring each other. With a sigh, he steps back and lets you out of the house.
“Where uh… where are you going?” He asks.
“Back to the Marauder.” You tell him, looking out at the tall popper stalks, seeing the tip of the tips of the Marauder’s wing in the distance.
“Echo, Tech, and Omega are out there too, so if you’re going for a nap, I’m not sure if you’ll be able to get one.”
You let out a soft sigh and shrug. “I’ll take my chances.”
Cut and Suu take that as their cue to walk back into the house, leaving you and Hunter wallowing in awkwardness.
He shakes his head. “How did we end up here?”
“What?”
“Like this.” He gestures between the two of you. “Off. I hate it.”
You shrug again. “I don’t know, Hunter. And I don’t know how to fix it. But…”
Tech’s voice breaks through Hunter’s comm device. “Hunter, we have figured out that since clones now control the spaceport, we can tap into their network and replicate the chain codes for Cut and Suu. Though to get into the spaceport, we’ve called the authorities to come seize the Marauder since you said they’re tagging the ships inside the impound facility.”
Hunter’s eyes go wide and you immediately start to look around for Omega.
He brings the comm up to talk into it. “YOU DID WHAT?”
Suddenly, you hear and see an impound vessel come in and pick up the Marauder.
“Hunter, where is-” You start as Wrecker, Cut, and Suu come out and look up at the impound vessel, clearly having heard it.
“Tech!” Hunter’s frown deepens as he watches it take the ship, his breathing becoming panicked.
“This was the simplest solution.” Tech tells him.
“Getting our ship impounded is not my idea of a solution.” Hunter replies, stepping away from you and Wrecker.
“Where’s Omega?” You ask Wrecker.
He shrugs, looking around. A bad feeling courses through your gut as you start to tell Wrecker to go search the barn but Tech’s voice stops you.
“We’ll meet you at the spaceport with the chain codes.” Tech tells him, confidently. “I have this under control.”
“There’s one big problem. Omega’s on the ship!” Hunter says and immediately your jaw drops as you see the impound vessel disappear out of view.
Oh you’ve gotta be kidding…
By the look on Hunter’s face, he’s thinking the same as you as he rubs a hand down his face, clearly exasperated and over the day.
Cut and Suu usher the kids in to go get their bags.
“We’ll meet you at the spaceport. Have the chain codes ready to give to Cut, Suu, and the kids.” Hunter tells Tech.
“Copy that.” Tech replies.
Hunter slips the comm into his pocket and looks at you. It’s even more obvious how much Hunter has started to care for Omega and it makes all the weirdness you two were feeling just a few moments ago fade away.
“Breathe… Echo and Tech won’t let anything happen to her.” You try to assure him.
He nods, knowing you’re right. But since he’s a leader… it’s more than that. It’s the fact that he feels responsible for this child. For all of you, really.
“First, we lose Crosshair… if we lose Omega-” He starts to murmur, watching the Lawquanes gather their stuff up.
“Stop, stop.” You murmur softly, cupping his face. “Don’t do that.”
Your eyes search his as you look up at him. Everything always weighs so heavily on him, you know that.
Every order. Every failure.
You wish you could help him carry that weight.
“Listen to me… What happened with Crosshair… wasn’t your fault. None of us could stop that, okay?” Your thumbs stroke his cheeks, kindly. “We’re in weird and uncharted waters.”
He gives you a small, grateful smile, giving your elbows a comforting squeeze.
It gives you hope that maybe soon, things can return to normal. Or at least as normal as things can feel until you figure out how to get Crosshair back.
“We’re ready to go.” Cut tells Hunter, making the two of you pull apart.
You go warm in the face and throw your pack onto both shoulders, starting to walk with Suu and the kids in the direction of the spaceport.
“So you two-?” Cut murmurs to Hunter.
Hunter shakes his head. “Stow it.”
Cut chuckles softly and smirks as you all walk to the spaceport. You try not to glance back at Hunter as you walk next to Suu.
The moment you get to the spaceport, everything feels off. More tense than you’re used to. Which is really saying something because you’re used to being in intense situations. It’s an occupational hazard. But this… this is unsettling. It’s almost too quiet.
“Mom, I don’t like this.” Jek murmurs to Suu, clinging to her arm.
You can’t blame him, feeling the same way yourself. So you stick close to Wrecker, just in case.
Hunter glances down at Jek and then back up at you before pulling the comm up to his lips to speak subtly into it. “Hurry up. We need those chain codes to get them on the shuttle, or we’re going to have to blast our way out of here.”
“Don’t worry, I can slip through security unnoticed and deliver the disks to you momentarily.” Tech tells him.
The seven of you walk up to the end of the line to go through the spaceport to get to the shuttle. You know that you, Hunter, and Wrecker are there as backup in case things go south.
It gives you a little sense of peace to know that Omega is at least safe on the ship with Echo and Tech and as long as she stays there, it should be okay.
“The chain codes are en route… With Omega.” Tech’s voice suddenly breaks through the comm and you and Hunter share a look of exasperation.
“By herself? You let her go by herself?” Hunter asks, angrily and then looks to Wrecker to go check on Omega.
“Well, we didn’t let her go.” Tech says, a little defensively. “She ran off on her own.”
Wrecker hands the crate he was carrying to Cut. “I’m on it.”
“If something happens to her-” Hunter starts.
Wrecker takes off toward the impound lot and you start to put a hand on Hunter to try to calm him down but Suu beats you to it, putting her hand on his shoulder.
“Like I said, kids always find trouble.” She tells him.
Your shoulders draw up ever so slightly and you tighten your grip on your backpack straps, looking away.
A few moments later, you hear blaster fire coming from the impound lot and you let out a sigh.
“I’ll go give them some more back up.” You murmur to Hunter and start to head that way but he steps away from Cut and Suu to stop you, saying your name in a way that makes you stop and look at him.
“Just… be careful.” He looks like he wants to reach out to touch you but stops himself.
You give him a soft smile and nod before running in the direction of the blaster fire.
As you make your way, you run into Omega and give her a warm smile, just glad to see that she’s alright.
“Be careful.” You tell her, echoing Hunter’s words he just said to you.
Omega gives you a smile and nods as she runs toward Hunter and the Lawquanes. You watch her disappear around the corner before pulling your blaster out and taking cover near Wrecker, watching as he launches a heavy crate at some troopers, taking them out. You set your blaster to stun and start to shoot at the very clone troopers that are shooting at you.
It’s a weird feeling having regs shoot at you. While they didn’t always see eye to eye with the batch, they weren’t enemies. This is new and scary territory.
“Good shot!” Wrecker shouts to you, somehow full of glee.
You can’t help but give him a smile. “Thanks.”
“Hopefully Hunter will be here soon.” Tech calls over to you and Wrecker.
“Is the ship started up?” You ask him.
“Affirmative.” He shoots at a clone trooper, making him drop. “Echo is trying to get the clamp off the ship. He could probably use backup.”
You give him a grateful nod, knowing that Tech knows you’re not really a big fan of being in the middle of a firefight, and then go join Echo where he’s still trying to get the clamp off.
“Struggling?” You ask, lightly.
“Not in the mood.” He grumbles, making you chuckle.
You notice Hunter jump over the wall and then start to take out the remaining troopers. Seeing him in action has always been interesting. His skill with a gun and also with fighting always proves exactly why he’s a great leader. It’s also just incredibly fun to watch him in action.
You can’t help but notice the way his muscles tighten in that short sleeve tunic makes you go warm all over.
What the hell?
Where did that come from?
You shake those thoughts away and then notice Omega isn’t with him and you realize he made the choice to send Omega with the Lawquane’s. It breaks your heart but also you know why he did it. So you’ll stand by him.
He makes his way over by Tech and then shouts over to Echo, continuing to shoot at the new wave of troopers. “What are we waiting for?”
“The clamp’s still magnetized. The system’s not responding.” Echo tells him, impatiently still trying his best.
Hunter nods to Wrecker who comes over to help Echo. You cover both of them, still shooting at the clones shooting at all of you.
“Move.” Wrecker starts to get to work, pulling on the clamp, successfully yanking it off. “It responded to that!”
You and Echo make your way onto the ship at the same time that Hunter and Tech start to run back to the hatch as well. Echo and Tech take their places in the cockpit, preparing to take off.
“Wait! Omega’s not back!” You hear Wrecker tell Hunter and your heart breaks at the realization that Hunter didn’t tell him.
You and Hunter share a soft look before Hunter looks back at Wrecker on the hatch to tell him Omega’s going with Cut and Suu.
“Wrecker, she’s not-” Hunter starts but you all hear a small familiar voice shouting.
“Wait for me!” Omega’s voice carries over to you.
She starts to run over but a clone trooper getting up from being knocked out sees her and starts to catch her by the leg. Hunter instantly goes to help her, not even thinking about it. He shoots the trooper and then starts to shoot at others while leading Omega back to the ship. You grab her hand and pull her up into the safety of the ship. Shortly after, Hunter and Wrecker join you.
You’re checking her for injuries and she smiles up at you.
“Are you okay?” You kneel down to her level as the hatch closes and you hear the loud pings of the clones shooting at the Marauder.
“I’m alright.” She assures you.
You look up at Hunter and he’s got his hands on his hips, clearly at a loss for words.
“I’m gonna… go change…” You look down at the clothes that Suu let you borrow, and then smile at Hunter and his eyes travel from your eyes, down, and then back up again.
Your stomach flutters but you try to ignore it.
He nods and you give Omega a reassuring squeeze and then go to the fresher to change into your regular clothes.
You look at yourself in the mirror, just as you did at the Lawquane’s. Something still feels different when you look at yourself. You just can’t put your finger on it.
Exhaustion starts to settle in and you decide to go take a nap in your bunk.
“You okay?” Hunter asks you, sitting in his bunk across from yours.
You nod, sitting on the edge of the bunk, leaning toward him like magnets do.
“I talked with Omega. She says this is where she wants to be. So I told her this is where she’ll stay.” He tells you and you grin.
“I think that’s a good thing. I think we could all learn a thing or two from her.” You shrug.
He chuckles softly, nodding in agreement.
“I just… don’t know anything about parenting.” He shrugs.
“So… just be her brother.” You pat his hand.
He turns his palm up, slipping his fingers through yours. You both look down at your hands intertwined and you feel your heartbeat pick up. His ears perk up slightly and his brown eyes stare into yours, letting you know he heard it, too.
“Hunter, you’re going to need to come look at this.” Tech’s voice carries from the cockpit and Hunter lets out a sigh.
“Duty calls.” You give a teasing squeeze to his hand.
He squeezes back as he lets out an unamused huff of a laugh, clearly not wanting to leave this spot.
“It’s okay.” You nod.
He nods once and then lets go, getting up to join his brothers in the cockpit. You take that time to finally lay down and get that nap you wanted earlier.
But as you lay there, looking up at Crosshair’s bunk above yours, you’re reminded of him. And you wonder if he’s thinking of you as well.
Kamino, that day
Crosshair lies in his bunk of the barracks that he once shared with the rest of the squad. It’s too quiet now.
Way too quiet.
He’s used to Wrecker’s boisterous laugh, or Tech tinkering with whatever new gadget he’s working on. He’s used to Echo helping Tech. He’s used to Hunter’s broody ass working out or sparring with Wrecker.
He’s used to you being there in his bunk with him, cuddled up against him or tapping away on your datapad doing whatever.
Why did he say that awful shit to you? Why did he push you away like that? It was like watching himself through a mirror, unable to stop himself from being hateful.
The look on your face when that trooper shot you plays over and over in Crosshair’s mind. The look of absolute betrayal. Something he never wanted to happen.
He sits up, angrily, looking at the empty spot next to him in his bunk and then gets up and starts to pace.
Good soldiers follow orders.
He misses your laugh.
Good soldiers follow orders.
He misses your smile.
Good soldiers follow orders.
He misses the way you run your fingers through his hair at night to comfort him.
Good soldiers- No.
No.
What was he thinking? He can’t do this on his own. He needs his squad. He needs you. He needs to know if you’re okay.
How would he even find you, though? He doesn’t know. All he knows is… he has to try.
request from anon: Hello! If it’s okay, may I request a Viktor x reader (established relationship) fic where Viktor, Jayce and reader were a trio in creating the hextech, but after the final battle in s2, both Viktor and Kayce are trapped in the astral plane (I refuse the notion that they are gone gone), but can see everyone and follow people around like unseen ghosts. With them gone, it’s just reader as she’s sitting at the ledge both Viktor and Jayce were about to jump in their respective times, but stopped because of the others, but now, it’s just reader all alone, burning the papers with their names on it as Viktor and Jayce sit on both sides of her. Flesh it out however you want!!
includes: angst. major character deaths. tw for suicidal thoughts. some unexpected comfort, but not enough.
author's note: oh anon, i can tell we share such similar feelings on those final scenes. i decided to write this with the assumption that jayce and reader are very close friends too—in fact, they conceived and began the secret research on hextech together. jayce and reader went through that certifiable hell of a timeline together as well.
i'm extremely unwell about the "only you" quote to the point where i'm getting it tattooed on my clavicles, so of course i had to include it. when viktor says this, he means both jayce and you. you three are a trinity, previously believed inseparable. i hope you enjoy.
“Was I not enough?”
“You were everything.”
Viktor wanted nothing more than feel you beside him again. Your voice and mere existence were holy salves in this limbo—but oh, what he would do to touch you again. To wipe the tears from your eyes and tuck you against his chest and hold you until you smiled up at him again.
“You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Had you been atop the Hexgate, fighting like you should’ve alongside Jayce, you could’ve shared the burden of death with the two people tantamount to your existence. But you couldn’t kill Viktor. You understood why Jayce had to do it, to destroy the commune and commit the ultimate, heinous crime; and you wouldn’t stop him, but you wouldn’t go either. You holed away in the lab, windows sealed shut, and wallowed in darkness.
You were never one to let things destroy you. The life you led with Viktor was filled with nothing but discovery, sunshine, and base adoration. Setbacks were trivial. With Viktor at your side, you always worked through them.
All this, though? This wasn’t a setback.
This was obliteration.
You were slumped over on the familiar table when the battle began, blanket cradling you, leaning against Viktor’s cane as you numbly listened to the bombs and the guns and the screams. Maybe Viktor’s soldiers didn’t register you as a lifeform; maybe he purposefully passed you over. All that made you lift your head was a sudden quiet.
And then Viktor and Jayce were gone.
Viktor was belated at your survival, even more so than his own; yet even he couldn’t deny the importance of Jayce’s sacrifice. They didn’t finish this together—not without you. This magical plane was extraordinary and he shared it with his closest friend. But your absence was inescapable. It left a constant, marring hunger in his chest. You were missing. He was unbalanced.
The piece of hair that always fell across your face parted your forehead and Viktor itched to push it off your skin, tuck it behind your ear. Even without a body he could feel the sickness of his want for you.
You sobbed again, chest heaving as the clouds cracked above you and drowned Piltover with rain. You had been so close to stabilizing the Hexcore.
Then the attack on the Council.
Then Viktor virtually dying.
Wrong place, wrong time.
You were crying like a little kid. You hadn’t needed to in a long time. Snot and hiccups and gobs and gobs of tears. You had lost utterly everything. Not just Hextech—all of the realm of magic. Jayce. Viktor. The hope for a happy ending. Rosy, golden memories were tainted with the knowledge of their ending.
Viktor and Jayce stayed with you, invisible, as you grieved on the infamous edge. If only you could tilt the prism of reality—just a smidge—and refract them into your view. If only you knew it could be done. You’d see the kaleidoscope of their bodies pressed against each side of you, keeping you pinned to the ledge; Jayce’s head on your shoulder, Viktor’s hands running through your hair.
“There must be some way to speak to her,” Viktor murmured. His hands phased through you, but he still tried to card his fingers through your locks anyway. “This whole realm of infinite knowledge—it is beautiful. Perfect. But it doesn’t even compare.”
“Now’s not the time for I-told-you-so’s, but…”
Viktor’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head at Jayce’s words, yet he appreciated his ability to jest. There wasn’t much else to do but reflect or watch over you; his humor was a refuge in what felt like an impenetrable fog.
You, of course, didn’t hear him. You stayed stubbornly inconsolable. Two parts of your trinity worried you would finally do what they failed to. You were so close to falling—you already had emotionally. It felt only natural that the physical should follow.
You thought of the first night you met Viktor, when you placed your reputation and life on his ideas in making Hextech conceivable. When you were engulfed in that first field of magic. The three of you swimming in air, stars, and runes.
You thought of floating. You sobbed and started to believe if you tilted forward, just enough, you could fly with them again.
Third time’s the charm.
“There you are,” a voice gasped. A voice in your plane. Could be another ghost for all you care.
Mel crouched behind you and placed a warm hand on your shoulder. Being Jayce’s beau and an important advocate for Hextech, Mel had become a rather important part of your life—and a desperately-needed girlfriend, at that. When the stars aligned, your spa nights and genuine conversations always gave you a fresh perspective and a good break from the sometimes monotonous lab.
“Please, leave me alone,” you croaked.
“Teetering on the edge of a maintenance shaft? I know you’re grieving, but I can’t let you do that.” Mel’s hand pressed down on you, urging your body away from the precipice.
You wailed, refused to move. “How am I supposed to keep going on? My life—” You interrupted yourself with a sputtering sob, “—is meaningless without them!”
“That is not true,” she insisted. Her hand stayed firm. “I’m grieving them too. And if you do this, I’ll have lost you too.” She stepped out into the rain to grab your shoulders and force you to look at her. “You cannot live a life defined by other people.”
“Then what was the point of loving?”
Mel’s face turned stony as you glared up at her. Your words bit a new consideration into her mind. She hadn’t experienced the hellish landscape of your potential future, devoid of emotion for the sake of progress. She hadn’t kneeled before the iteration of Viktor who had seen it all—every timeline, every possibility—and been the recipient of his declaration that only you could show him this. She hadn’t loved or experienced Viktor and magic like you. She would never understand the hole that tore into you, a supernova that was determined to take you with it. You didn’t have a life without Viktor or magic. You had let it consume you, happily—the loss of it would surely erase you. There would be nothing left.
“...I can’t make the pain go away,” Mel began. Her voice was measured, but it held a softness for you that belied her own grief. “And it never will go away. It will get smaller, but it will always be there. But if you let that expound you, then you really never will love again.” Viktor watched as Mel pushed your hair off your forehead. A small moment of catharsis for him. Finally, your beautiful face.
“Are you going to let the universe make that choice for you, when we have all since learned the importance of having that power?”
You looked up at her, eyes pleading, soaked to the bone. You were a shattered tea cup on the floor. She was scooping you up. She wanted to repair you with gold.
“I miss them so much, Mel,” you whimpered. She leaned forward and hugged you to her chest, your head atop her collarbone as you sobbed. She held you in the rain and pulled you off the edge.
“I know,” she murmured back. “I do too. Moving on is impossible, when we are a mosaic of all the people and events of our lives. But we can move forward. We just have to gather ourselves up first.”
Mel helped you make a bed in the lab that night. You just wanted to surround yourself in it all again, and she would allow you—for a little while.
You dreamt of them. A kaleidoscope of colors, their voices, their faces in horrific clarity. A flash of light, and you swore you could feel the warmth of Viktor’s hands on your cheeks.
Only you.
You choked awake, dead of night, and immediately burst into tears as you held your own face in poor imitation of Viktor. Your chest was ripping apart. You were sure if you looked down, you’d see the muscle and sinew and bone, the beating of your heart in its cavity, your lungs heaving, your blood gushing off the sides of the bed.
But you opened your eyes to a room faint with moonlight. Viktor’s cloak spread over you as a blanket. You gathered it in your arms and burrowed your face into it. You knew the scent would be lost, sooner than you needed it to stay, so you greedily gulped lungfuls of air through the familiar fabric as you bled and bled and bled.
You fell asleep only out of sheer exhaustion and a headache that enervated every bit of fight from you.
Mel awoke you at dawn with a swarm of Noxian servants. Two ripped the curtains off the lab’s windows, forever washing it in sunlight once more and making you groan atop your makeshift cushions. The mage kneeled beside your bed, rubbing your arm through the sheets.
“Lots to do today,” she murmured. “But first, breakfast.”
“I’m not hungry,” you protested lamely.
“You don’t have an appetite,” she corrected. “You are hungry, though.”
You didn’t bother to retort. You didn’t have the energy. You internally grimaced at that, knowing it probably was because you hadn’t eaten since Jayce and you had returned to your home timeline.
Mel helped you sit up as a servant placed a silver platter of food before you. Huge, juicy fruits, meats that would melt on your tongue, eggs and fresh bread and butter—it all smelled nauseating. You looked visibly ill at the sight of it. You looked visibly ill in general.
Mel sat beside you on the cushions and broke the bread. The crust crunched in her hands as she offered a bite for you. It was mindless, the way you took it and stuck it in your mouth. Its taste hardly registered. You chewed mechanically, swallowed. And Mel offered you another.
With the patience of a saint, she fed you until you ate half of the small loaf. She tried one of the fruits, but you gave her a pleading look to not try; so she had the rest of the food sent away and hoisted you to your feet.
With the lab awash in light, everything laid out in front of you in perfect clarity. You saw a page with Viktor’s handwriting and immediately sobbed, bent over in pain as you snatched it off the table and smashed to your chest. Mel caught you and helped you stand upright. She shushed you, wiped your tears.
Viktor lived through her. His spirit watched over you and pretended Mel’s hands were his.
The mage ordered the servants to clean up the papers, have them set out of view. You wailed, begged, for her not to, to let you wallow over them and crumple them against your face and scar them into your skin. But she did not relent. She held you with gentle firmness as the lab was cleared of Viktor and Jayce.
So began the next few weeks. As the world shifted to react to the Battle of Piltover, Mel simultaneously accepted rule over the Noxians and took you under her wing. Each step you took, you took together. The papers were the first. Then it was getting you out of the lab, back into your own room. Leaving you alone for meals. Reading you the letters Violet and Caitlyn and countless others had left you.
You started getting up on your own. You felt numb to everything, but some level of worldly shuttering had to happen so you could just take care of yourself.
Viktor laid with you at night. He pretended his fingers were grazing over your cheek and your warmth was pressed against him one more. He already knew you were strong enough to recover from this.
After all, you were everything.
Months. You think, at least. You lost track of time in your grief. You’re sure you would’ve lost much more without Mel.
Golden hour in the lab was the most beautiful. Sunlight sparkled off every surface and washed everything in honey-glazed hues. It used to be your favorite time of the day. So many memories of Viktor and you testing, discovering, being. The walks you used to take through the nearby gardens. The day you harnessed flight for individual use, you two taking it for a run in a magical fly over Piltover. The dinners Jayce would bring when you both were too lost in work. The unextraordinary days of no progress. You’d kill to have just one more.
Months ago, just being aware of the time of day brought you to your knees. It still hurt, now, but you had it on a leash. It growled and pulled and sometimes got away; but today your grief was being surprisingly well-behaved. So you wandered to a cabinet. The door creaked when you opened it.
You sat in the curve of the alcove. Machinery whirred behind you. Piltover gleamed ahead of you, resplendent beneath a halcyon sky. Your back, flush with the edge of the window, slid down as you dangled a foot off the ledge. Viktor sat on the other side, on another plane, watching you fondly. You were pouring over the old papers. The Hexcore stared up at you in sketches, as formulas, overarching concepts. Your fingers brushed over Viktor’s signature scribbled tightly beside yours.
You pushed yourself out of the curve and toed the ledge. Viktor’s expression dropped. Jayce flocked to your other side as if to stop you. You looked down and thought of flying. You brought the papers up to your eyes again.
You ripped the parchment in half, Hexcore on one, Viktor’s handwriting on the other. You let the wind lift it from your hands. Viktor moved to sit beside you. Jayce followed.
You turned back to the stack. Grabbed another piece.
Shhhkt.
Runes drifted in one direction. Your signatures in another.
Shhhkt.
Shhhkt.
Shhhkt.
Shhhkt. Shhhkt. Shhhkt. Shhhkt.
Shhhkt.
You watched as stars of paper floated away from you. You suddenly realized what you'd done. You collapsed onto the platform, curled over yourself, as you held the rest of the stack to your chest and wailed. Viktor pretended his hand didn't phase through yours, pretended that his fingers were capturing yours, that you could hear him as he murmured assurances and comforts against your ear. They were just papers, you'd write a new copy when you got back to the lab, he'd draw his signature as many times as you needed it. Just come back, step away. You'd all be back to your gloriously routine evenings before you knew it.
But all you saw was the ledge. Past it, a sprawling world with nothing in it for you.
"There must be a way," Viktor murmured. You were sleeping later that night. He was laying beside you, memorizing every atom of you. Jayce sat beside him on the edge of the bed. You had the sheer grit to tear yourself away from the edge again; but even after months of grueling recovery, you had still come far too close to it. That terrified everyone but you.
"We don't have anything here. Ideas can't be reality, not when everything is just..." Jayce gestured around them in frustration. "Speculation."
"A connection can't be impossible."
"I'm not even sure how to look for one."
Viktor was looking at you when Jayce grumbled those words. The revelation dawned over them simultaneously. He looked up at his partner, then back at you.
He cupped your head in his hands, leaned in as he ran his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks. Your expression squeezed in discomfort from the branding, searing pain that came with seeing his face again. The veil was thin between your planes when you dreamed. Sometimes you'd see through to them, feel Viktor's spirit touch your weary one, hear his voice in shattering lucidity for an ephemeral moment. But you'd always believed they were just that—dreams.
All Viktor wanted was to make you happy again, with or without them. But maybe if you knew you weren't just having nightmares, that it really was them, you'd find a new purpose. You'd find a way.
Only you.
You gasped awake. You flung the blankets off your body, haphazardly threw Viktor's robes around your shoulders, and sprinted out of your bedroom.
Mel wanted to clean the chalkboards ages ago, but you were adamant they stayed as they were. Papers could be hidden until you were ready, preserved and untouched; these writings on the walls were virtually intangible. Once they were erased, they would never return again. All that would be left were ghosts. Palimpsests.
You burst into the room. In one hand, a bucket of water and soap that sloshed at your feet; the other, a scrub brush. You dunked the bristles into the suds and slashed a wound of water across the chalkboard. It bled white as you scrubbed furiously. You didn’t bother with the whole thing. You weren’t ready for that.
But you were ready for at least a sliver of a blank slate.
You used the long ends of Viktor’s robe to dry the board. His spirit stood beside you, watching you carve into the past. Jayce took your other side in pride.
You gripped a piece of chalk off the tray and pressed it to the clearing. You hesitated, your grief biting regret into you for being so rash; only hours earlier had you destroyed important scientific documents.
Your trinity rested their hands on your shoulders.
Only you.
You nodded, almost imperceptibly, almost in acknowledgment of them.
description: after first meeting on kamino, you and tech seem to keep running into each other, without being able to fully indulge in each other's company. will you ever find the time to be able to tell each other of the feelings that have bloomed over the years?
warnings: not a happy ending!! death, torture (not in any great detail), blood & needles, some mentions of other medical stuff, tech brainrot I fear, don't wanna spoil it but... cx-2...
a/n: okay this was originally just gonna be a cute little fluffy thing and then I kinda went over board. it's a little more high-concept (which feels like a generous word for it) than my other oneshots but i'm pretty happy with how it turned out :) also anyone who writes tech fics regularly I salute you 🫡 it is truly not for the weak
22BBY, KAMINO
You waited patiently in the medical bay, lining up your various tools so none of them were out of place. You weren’t necessarily a neat freak, it was just something to occupy your hands. You were about to see your first patient since transferring from the hospital on Coruscant, to Kamino, in an effort to help the war effort.
The other medics around you weren’t new, and seemed a lot more relaxed, and sure of themselves. You had faith in your abilities as a medic, you had graduated from university into the job a number of years ago now, but somehow this felt like a lot more responsibility, looking after the men that fought for the Republic.
Your fingers were fidgeting at your sides when the door to the medical bay slid open, and a large group of clones were ushered inside by a Kaminoan. You were at the back of the room, so the clones from the front of the group were shown to the medics closest to them. As the group parted, you could see there were a group of clones in vastly different armour from their brothers, and your interest was certainly piqued.
You watched with intrigue as they got closer to you, and before you knew it, one of them was standing in front of you. You still felt nervous, but the timid look on the youthful face of this clone was enough to snap you into gear.
“Hello” You smiled at him sweetly, gesturing to the cot next to you, “Do you want to take a seat?”
The clone didn’t say anything, but obliged quickly. He was taller than many of the clones you worked on before, his hair a light auburn, and he wore goggles that were tinted a subtle yellow.
“What’s your name?” You asked politely.
“CT-9902, Ma’am”
The nervousness was evident in his voice, which you noted was different from the other clones, a more formal twinge and bite to the vowels.
“No need for all that Trooper, just my name is fine” You chuckled a little, tapping the name badge on your uniform, “and I asked for your name. What do your brothers call you?”
The clone looked to the name badge and then up to your eyes, “Tech”
“Well Tech, I understand that this is your last check-up before you graduate, is that right?”
“Uh, technically, we have already graduated. We are waiting to be deployed” He corrected you and you nodded.
”I understand” You smiled, “I’m just going to take some of your blood, if that’s okay”
“Of course it’s okay” He said matter-of-factly, “I wouldn’t expect anything less”
You had to suppress a smirk at his observation as you took the syringe from the tray, “It’s just what they ask us to say, bedside manner and all that”
“Ah” He replied, a blush tinging his ears pink, “My apologies”
It was hard not to find Tech adorable. He was so young and fresh-faced, somehow more so than the other recently graduated clones around the room. Perhaps it was the difference in facial structure, slightly pursed lips, or the big brown eyes that looked up at you though his goggles.
“No need” You waved off his apology, “It’s nice not to have to baby your patients really”
Tech nodded thoughtfully, and took of his left vambrace to allow you access to the correct vein, rolling up his sleeve. You raised an eyebrow at his actions.
“You had a lot of blood taken before?” You asked, and he looked at you puzzled.
“No” He replied simply, “Why?”
“I didn’t have to tell you where I was going to take it from” You gestured the syringe towards his now bare forearm.
“Ah, well” He looked down at himself and back up, “I am… a little knowledgeable about such things”
You smirked a little as you took his arm, keeping him talking while you placed the needle to his skin, “Knowledgeable huh? and why is that?”
He looked up at your face as you worked, wholly uninterested in the needle that was pressing into his arm, “I am interested in knowing about it”
You hummed slightly in reply, drawing the blood from the clone and placing the syringe down again.
“Just a few more things to check” You said, taking the small torch from your belt, “Would you mind taking off your goggles for just a moment?”
The clone didn’t hesitate, and pushed his goggles atop his head.
“Now, look straight ahead” You told him, and shined the light into his eye, checking to see if his pupils were dilating properly. At some point his eyes flicked up to yours, and you were surprised by the flurry of butterflies that filled your stomach. “Eyes ahead, Tech” You reminded him, and he righted himself straight away. You had to bite back your grin at his certainly interesting demeanour.
As you moved onto his other eye, you let your curiosity get the best of you, “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you and your brothers… a little different?”
“I do mind you asking actually” He said plainly, and you were unsure if you had actually upset him, if he was kidding, or if that was just how he spoke.
“Okay” You smiled graciously, choosing to just move on, “You can put your goggles back on now”
Tech watched you carefully as he pulled down and adjusted his goggles until they were comfortable again. With your pleasant smile, it seemed that you were just being sincere and inquisitive in asking about him and his brothers, and he felt a little silly for just brushing you off.
“We usually get seen by the Kaminoans” Tech noted, “Why are there civilian medics on Kamino now?”
“We volunteered” You shrugged with a small smile, “Could you lie down?”
Tech once again did as you said quickly, a little too quickly this time, hitting the back of his head on the cot that was not as comfortable as he had thought. You winced a little and his cheeks flushed immediately.
”Good thing I’m about to scan you” You joked, “Hopefully that didn’t do any damage”
Tech pointed his first finger up as he talked, “It is highly unlikely that I would sustain any dam-”
“I know Tech, I was just kidding” You interrupted, and he stuttered as he looked up at you standing over him with a gentle smile
“Right” He nodded, “Of course you do, my apologies”
”There’s no need to apologise” You smiled, pulling down the scanner over him “Stay still now”
You stepped back from the machine and picked up your datapad, reading over the information as the scanner picked it up. It scanned his identifying code in his wrist and your eyebrows raised at his profile. Defective, genetically enhanced intellect and cognitive functions.
“Is something wrong?” He questioned your reaction.
“No, you’re in perfect health in fact” You answered his question, pulling the machine away so he could sit up.
“What is the… matter, then?” He asked slightly hesitantly.
“The machine scanned your identifying code” You explained, unable to hold back your grin, “You sound like a very interesting individual indeed, Tech”
Tech blushed furiously, looking away and noting that his brothers were already finished with their examinations, huddled together watching him with the widest grins he had ever seen from them. He only blushed further upon seeing them, scowling and turning back to you. You just watched him with a look of vague amusement on your face.
“Well, you’re all good to go now” You informed him, and he stood quickly, accidently knocking the elbow of his armour against your hip.
He was mortified. “I am so very sorry” He spoke hurriedly, turning back towards you with wide eyes, gently holding onto your arm without even realising.
“It’s really alright” You replied with a chuckle, though it was a little strained.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, that is the last thing I would mean to do” He continued, and you couldn’t help but find his reaction so effortlessly charming
“I like the way you speak, Tech” You smiled, genuine happiness just taking over your face.
Tech didn’t think it was possible for his face to heat up even more, but he had to clutch at the edge of his blacks and pull them away from his neck so it didn’t feel like he was over heating. He didn’t know what to say at all. He couldn’t think of the last time he had ever been complimented by someone, let alone someone as pretty as you. He willed himself to get a grip, knowing he was just giving in to his body in allowing those kind of thoughts to fester, and he cleared his throat.
“Well, it was a pleasure to meet you” He added your name with an emphasis, as if it was to help him remember it, “If I weren’t about to leave I would ask you to explain the functionality of this machine you’ve just used on me”
“Maybe another time?”
Tech nodded, “Another time”
“Goodbye Tech” You smiled at him warmly, “It was a pleasure to meet you too”
Tech nodded and turned to leave, making a beeline for his brothers, who welcomed him by teasing him mercilessly, the largest of the bunch ruffling his auburn curls. You watched them leave, and caught Tech looking back at you as he exited the room.
21BBY, KAMINO
“New orders”
Before you could realise, a datapad was being thrown at you. Luckily you got your hands around it before it dropped to the floor. You looked over the screen, then up at the other medic.
“We're not trained for that” You implored.
“The GAR is running low on medics, they asked for some of us to fill the roles for now” They replied with a shrug, “It's probably more interesting than being here anyway”
You could agree with that.
“What squad are you with?” The other medic asked, and you looked back down, tapping on your name.
“Clone Force 99” You informed them. The name rung a bell from somewhere…
“Never heard of them” The medic replied, “Guess you'll find out tomorrow”
Having stayed up late investigating the group of clones you were instructed to be joining, it was no wonder that you were bouncing on your toes with a beaming smile as their ship came hurtling into the hangar. You were impressed by their success rate, not falling short of perfect, but it was from realising exactly who was a part of this team that made you so eager.
You would be lying to say you hadn't thought of Tech a few times since first meeting him. With him being your first patient here on Kamino, it was hard not to compare the other clones to him, and while you had no issue with the other clones, you had not enjoyed your time with them as much as that first encounter.
The ship was set down on the ground, and soon the small batch of clones emerged from inside, looking particularly disinterested, and your smile faltered. They huddled together outside, talking amongst themselves, some of them leaning on the side of the ship.
You walked over slowly, feeling a little more hesitant than you had initially been. You couldn't see Tech, as he was behind his brothers, but you recognised the rest of them by their differing appearances.
You cleared your throat, gaining the attention of the clones, and offering them a small smile. They turned to look at you, apart from Tech who's face was buried in a datapad.
“Hello, I think I've been assigned to your squad” You spoke, and that's when Tech's head snapped up, his eyes meeting yours.
He looked a bit older than the last time you had seen him. His face seemed slimmer, his cheekbones slightly more hollowed out and defined, his jaw strong, but his widened eyes had the memorable sparkle in them all the same.
“We don't need you here” One of the others said, earning a elbow in the ribs as you looked up at him.
“Shut up Cross” The elbow-er hissed quietly at the elbow-ee, “Ignore him, it's nice to meet you…”
You told the man your name.
“Well, I'm Hunter” He introduced himself, and you gave him a nod of acknowledgement.
Crosshair rolled his eyes, “Why are we being made to have a medic?”
“I'm not sure” You shrugged, “I wasn't really told all too much about it”
Crosshair seemed almost pleased that you were just in the dark as them, then grunted, pushing his way past you and onto the ship.
Hunter huffed, noting your slightly offended expression, “Sorry about Crosshair, he's in a mood. We just weren't… expecting this, is all”
You chewed the inside of your cheek, “Me neither”
“Well anyway, let's get going” He walked up the ship's steps.
“I'm Wrecker” The large clone introduced himself with a warm smile, which you were inclined to return.
You held out your hand to him, and he took it with a crushing strength. “Nice to meet you… Wrecker” You managed to peep out despite the force of his grip.
Wrecker followed his commanding officer up the stairs afterwards, and you were about to follow after, but realised Tech was still stood firmly in his place. You looked back at him and he was still staring at you.
“You coming Tech?”
His eyes went a little wider.
“You know who I am?” He said, his voice holding a clear tone of surprise, though it was nowhere near as timid as it had been the last time you saw him.
Your cheeks flushed a little, embarrassed that he had clearly made more of an impression on you than you had on him.
“Oh, you don't remember meeting?” You asked, keeping your voice even.
“No, no, I remember” He confirmed, “I just didn't think you would remember me”
You gave him a puzzled look, a smile growing on your face, “Of course I remember you”
“Can you two wrap it up, we're leaving” Crosshair shouted from inside, and you chuckled slightly nervously, walking up the ramp.
Tech was still frozen in place for a moment. He hadn't been excited to be getting a medic, having ample training and knowledge of the subject himself, but now, he couldn't help but feel a little exhilarated that it was you that would be joining them.
The few times that the squad had been back to Kamino since graduation, Tech had found himself wandering down to the medical bay. He hadn't talked to you, he was far too nervous to do that, but he had watched you work through the little window in the door. You had almost caught him one time, and that's when he decided to stop doing it, realising how strange he was behaving.
He walked up the stairs of the Marauder, a little on edge, a little nervous, but a little more happy than he had been when they landed.
21BBY, MARAUDER
Tech was staring. At you, to be specific. Once again.
His brain worked at a klick a minute, and yet, whatever you had just said to him had him stumped. His mouth hung open a little, his eyes slightly narrowed and his brow furrowed deeply. He wasn't saying anything. For once, nothing was going on in his head. It was like his brain had frozen, unable to process any new thoughts. He was confused.
“Tech?” You said hesitantly, drawing him from his stupor.
“I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly” He replied assuredly.
You hesitated a little before asking again, “I asked you if you think I should leave”
That's what he thought you'd said.
“I don’t understand your meaning” He dropped the tool from his hand and stood up, facing you and trying to read every movement you made.
You felt a little uneasy under his scrutiny, but continued nonetheless, “Like… leave the team”
Tech still couldn't understand.
“Why are you asking me this?” He asked, his brow furrowing even deeper.
“Well, I figured you would give me an honest answer” You shrugged. Tech was nothing if not upfront, and it was one of the many things you liked about him.
“No, I mean… why are you asking this at all?” He surveyed your reaction to his words, your throat constricting as you swallowed and subtly wiped you hands on your trousers.
“Uh… I suppose I don't feel that my presence is very necessary”
“I don't see how you could possibly think that” Tech replied, “You have a very useful skillset”
“Well, I know that Hunter doesn't exactly love having me around, and Crosshair even less so” You argued, “And my ‘useful skillset’ hardly gets used around here”
Tech didn't know what to say. There was something nagging at him from the depths of his consciousness, urging him to tell you to stay. He found you exceedingly interesting, and enjoyed hearing about your medical exploits from before joining their squad. He always asked under the guise of learning new information, but his brothers all understood, far more than him, that it wasn't just knowledge that kept him asking you questions.
At this point, you had been with the Bad Batch for a few months, and - as you were explaining to Tech - you had not felt very useful at all. They rarely got injured, but even when they did, they would mostly refuse your help. Particularly Hunter. Crosshair had not warmed to you at all, though Wrecker did seem to enjoy your company. Tech was kind, in his own way. He always listened to you attentively, and as both of you were reasonably light sleepers, you had often found yourselves staying up together between missions, talking about a great many things. He seemed interested to know about medical procedures, but expanding his knowledge was only making you more and more obsolete within the group.
“I'm sorry if we've made you feel unwelcome” He said, and your gaze softened a little.
“It's okay, I know none of you really wanted me here in the first place”
“That’s…” Tech tried to find the words, “I would not say that is entirely factual. Though if you would like to leave, I think you should”
You couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened by Tech’s words, but you did come to him for the truth after all, you couldn’t be mad now.
“Alright, I'll notify the medical team back on Kamino then”
You walked away from Tech, and his brain began working, screaming at him to ask you to stay. He pressed his lips into a hard line, trying to come up with something, anything that he could say to make you stay, but all of the possibilities floating around in his head were jumbled and he couldn’t make sense of anything. He shook his head, trying to focus himself, but you had already walked away, already set on leaving.
“Get away from me”
You were crouched over Crosshair’s crumpled form, who was bent over and holding the wound to his side in the co-pilot's chair of the Marauder.
“Crosshair, I'm only trying to help” You insisted, trying to tend to him.
“I don't need your kriffing help, back off” He hissed, snatching the medkit from you.
You sighed deeply, taking a step back, “You know this is the reason I'm here right? To help when things like this happen?”
“We don't need you!” He shouted, “We never wanted you here, and we certainly don't now”
“Crosshair, calm down” Hunter scolded lightly, and when you turned to him you could see the look on his face, where you knew he agreed with his brother but was holding his tongue.
“Well good for you, I'll be gone soon” You mumbled as you stormed away, your eyes welling up instinctively from someone raising their voice at you.
You felt entirely useless.
You became a medic because you wanted to help people, and you joined the GAR medic team because you wanted to help clones specifically, but here you were, surrounded by clones, and they didnt want your help. It was hard not to feel downcast about it.
You understood Crosshair's contempt to a certain level, but did he really have to be so mean?
Tech could hear your soft sobs from outside the door to the cargo hold. He knocked firmly, and heard you sniff before telling him to enter.
When he saw the rosy tint of your nose and cheeks and the tears running down them, he realised that he had no idea how to comfort you in this moment. He stared at you as you stared up at him, waiting for him to say something.
“I'm sorry” He said unsurely, and you gave him a sad smile.
“It's fine Tech”
“I don't really think it is ‘fine’. I am very unimpressed with the way my brothers have behaved towards you” He asserted.
Looking down at you, your knees tucked into your chest and biting into your bottom lip to stop it quivering, he was reminded that he really didn't want you to leave, and even further, he realised the true reason why. He finally mustered up the courage to ask you to stay.
“I know that you're not happy at the moment, being with this team. I… I wish it were different, I wish we could have made you more comfortable. I am sure that if you stayed for a little longer and I talked to my brothers that-”
“I've heard from Kamino already, they want me back” You said softly, cutting him off before he could even say it.
“Ah, I see” He paused, then turned away “I shall leave you to-”
“Tech”
He turned back to you, and you offered him a soft, genuine smile, “I appreciate it, thank you”
He just nodded to you and left, the nasty feeling of rejection gnawing at his brain.
As the Marauder touched down in the hangar on Kamino, there was the most unpleasant sensation stirring in your gut. This was the right choice, you didn't fit in here, and you wanted to actually make a difference. Despite knowing all this, you couldn't help but feel strange, and descending the ship’s stairs felt like regressing, going backwards instead of forwards.
You turned to look at the clones as you left. Each of them, apart from Crosshair, gave a nod and a goodbye and walked back inside. Aside from Tech, of course.
He followed you down the steps, and it was the look on his face that placed that feeling in your gut. It was the reluctancy to leave behind this man that you had grown so fond of over the past few months, this man who listened to you and made you feel wanted despite the rest of the squad's insistency to not.
It had only been a few months, but you realised that you had grown very close with the clone before you, and your heart ached. You realised the depth of the feelings you harboured for him, that it was something you had never felt for another.
“I'll miss you Tech, it's been nice getting to know you” You spoke honestly, realising this could be the last time you saw him.
Tech sighed almost imperceptibly, “I agree, I shall miss… learning about medical procedures from you”
You couldn't help but laugh, “Well next time you're on Kamino, swing by the medical bay and I'll be happy to answer your questions”
“Are you making fun of me?” Tech suddenly resembled the shy cadet that you had met the first time.
“No” You smiled, “I'd always be happy to talk to you”
Tech didn't know what the correct thing to say was, so he said nothing. He just stared at you, once again, his mind fighting for anything to say once more. There was nobody that could send his mind spiralling like you did, and it seemed that you didn't even try to.
You smiled despite his slightly awkward silence, and stepped forwards, raising to your toes to plant a soft kiss to his cheek, “Goodbye Tech”
Tech could feel his face burning, from the blush that overtook him, and the feeling of your lips searing into his skin, rendering him completely speechless. As you walked away, he brought a hand to his face where you had kissed him and traced the area with his finger lightly.
“Ugh, I'm going to throw up” Crosshair asserted from the doorway of the ship.
“Shhhh” Wrecker pushed him and watched Tech swoon over you with a large grin.
Tech paid them no mind. He just watched you leave, a mix of emotions overtaking him. A frown settled on his face as your figure disappeared into the facility, but the feel of your lips on his cheek brought a warm feeling to his chest.
19BBY, ANAXES
“Hey Baar'ur'ika!” You heard the unmistakable voice of Jesse call out to you as he jogged over to the medbay in the Anaxes base.
“He doesn't call me that you know” Kix asserted from beside you, and you chuckled.
“Do you want him to?” You asked earnestly, but with an amused twinkle in your eye.
“That's besides the point" He grumbled, earning another laugh from you.
“Me and Kix are being sent on a mission with the Captain” Jesse said as he came to a stop in front of you.
“We are?” Kix asked
Jesse nodded, “Some special squad is joining us apparently”
“Special?”
“Yeah, I'm not sure why though, you wanna come find out?” He grinned, gesturing his head towards the landing strip.
“Can't. I've got all these reports to sign off” You sighed, holding up your stack of flimsi.
“Alright, we'll see you later on then Baar'ur'ika” Jesse smiled, ruffling your hair.
You huffed, putting the lose strands of it back into place, “See you later”
You took up your stylus again, clicking it absentmindedly as you read over the reports.
You had been reassigned to the 501st only a few weeks after leaving clone force 99, and you fit in so much better here. It seemed that the clones of the 501st actually wanted to get along with you, and they always included you in their shenanigans, reluctantly on your end. You got along with all of them really well, but Kix and Jesse were the ones you were closest with. You worked most closely with Kix, so that was only natural, but Jesse was certainly the most friendly to you from the outset.
You came across a report with an error, and checked the next piece of flimsi, and the same error had been made. You then leafed through all of the pages and realised the error had been made on every single one of them, and you groaned loudly. It then occurred to you that maybe you were the one making the error, and so you grabbed the stack of pages, rushing out the door to try and grab Kix before he left for his mission.
Luckily when you got to the landing strip, him and Jesse were still standing there with the Captain. You rushed over to them, almost dropping a page on the way.
“Kix, can I just ask you about something” You spoke, and the huddle of clones turned to look at you.
“Ah Baar'ur'ika, you came to investigate after all” Jesse slung an arm around your shoulders with a grin.
“I didn't come to investigate, I-”
Your voice seemingly stopped working as you turned your head and locked eyes with the specific ones that had always managed to draw you in and leave you speechless. Those wonderful brown eyes that always widened when they met yours
“Tech” You couldn't hold back the smile that grew on your face.
Tech spoke your name, and Jesse stifled a laugh when he felt a shiver run up your back.
You were absolutely mesmerised by the man in front of you. It had been just over a year since you had seen him, and in that time it seemed that he had only got even more beautiful. Your heart felt as if it had been set alight, the emotions that accompanied seeing Tech returning as if you had only said goodbye to him yesterday.
“We're here too” Wrecker laughed, snapping your gaze away from the spectacled clone.
“Hey Wrecker” You grinned, and he gave you a wink in return.
“Hey Hunter, Crosshair” You addressed the last two clones.
“Hey, it's good to see you” Hunter replied, a small genuine smile directed towards you.
Crosshair didn't say anything, but you hadn't expected him to.
“You know these guys?” Jesse asked, squeezing your shoulder.
“Uh, yeah. I was with them for a little while” You replied, looking to the floor for a moment before realising why you were here. “Oh! Kix, I just need to ask about this”
Tech watched you talking with the other medic and flipping through the pieces of flimsi as everyone else fell back into their previous conversation. His eyes lingered on the arm slung around your shoulders, and the way you placed your own hand on the shoulder of the other clone. You were clearly comfortable around these clones, and Tech's jealousy fizzled away to a form of sadness as he realised that you were so much happier with these clones than you had been with them. With him.
You settled the matter with Kix, and turned towards Tech once more, stepping forward so you stood in front of him.
“How are you?” You asked, clasping your hands behind your back.
“I am well” Tech replied flatly, not giving away an inch of the emotions that swirled within him, “How about yourself?”
“I'm good yeah” You smiled, “I've been here for a few rotations”
“With the 501st?” Tech asked.
“Oh no, just on Anaxes, I've been with these guys since… well, a couple weeks after I left you”
Something about the sentence pulled at Tech's heart. These clones were so lucky. They had got to spend all of this time by your side, all this time that he had spent with you only as a memory in his head, your absence taunting him constantly.
“I- Uh- I am glad to see you are doing well, you seem… happier, than last I saw you” He observed, pulling a small laugh from you.
“Maybe a bit. I do miss having someone to rant to though” You smirked a little at him, and despite his heated cheeks, he returned the gesture.
“I don't know that I'd call it ‘ranting’, you were always very precise with your words, very… intentional” He complimented you in a way that only made sense to both of you.
You hummed in response, “Well how's this for intentional - I've missed you Tech”
Tech couldn't hold back the small contented sigh that escaped him.
“I have missed you too” He admitted, indulging in losing himself in your eyes, inspecting ever fleck of colour.
“Hey Tech! We've gotta get going” Hunter shouted over to him. Neither one if you had realised the others had moved away.
Tech scowled inwardly, turning his attention back to you, “I was… I should like to ask you about biopsy methods, I am unsure of safe practice”
“Maybe another time?” You asked hopefully.
He nodded, a small smile quirking the edges of his lips, “Another time”
In a bout of confidence and rising adrenaline, Tech found himself leaning down and pressing a short kiss to your cheek, as you had done to him last time. Your mouth hung open a little as he then immediately walked off and joined his brothers on the gunship, surprised that he had actually done such a thing.
“Bye Baar'ur'ika” Jesse called teasingly, and you were snapped from your daze.
“Bye di'kut” You called, rolling your eyes as you clutched your flimsi close to your chest.
Tech's eyes locked with yours as the doors to the gunship closed, and it made your chest ache. You could still feel the warmth of his breath, the gentle scratch of his stubble, the softness of his lips. It was all too much and not enough, and watching him leave hurt more than you thought it would.
18BBY, CORUSCANT
You sat at your makeshift desk, your head in your hand and flicking through your datapad to survey the latest news. Things certainly had become bleak since the rise of the Empire.
You heard your name called, and your head snapped up to meet the golden eyes of Senator Chuchi.
“Senator, what can I do for you?” You asked, sitting up straight.
“Please, it's Riyo, and it's more what I can do for you” She said with a small smirk lifting the edges of her lips.
“Oh” You said, your eyebrows drawing together in confusion, “What do you mean?”
“There's a new clone joining us, I believe you know him” She replied, her smirk growing.
You immediately stood from your seat, “Is it who I think it is?”
“Perhaps” The Senator shrugged coyly.
You couldn't hold back your grin, “Where is he?”
“Just in the hangar” She nodded in the direction.
“Thank you Sen- Riyo” You said quickly, rushing from behind your desk towards the hangar.
You had known that Echo was alive, but this was the first time you would actually be seeing him since before the mission to the citadel where he had been presumed dead, and boy was he a sight for sore eyes.
“Echo!” You exclaimed excitedly, drawing the attention of the clone as you ran towards him across the hangar.
The clone's eyes lit up as he took in the sight of you, and stepped forwards, taking you in a tight hug when you crashed into him.
“It's good to see you” He said with a smile as he pulled away.
“It's even better to see you” You grinned, “I was so upset I didn't get to see you after you were rescued”
“I heard” He smirked, looking over his shoulder at Rex.
You looked over at the blonde clone too, and saw that he was watching on with three other familiar clones.
“Woah” You couldn't stop yourself from saying, “I heard you were hanging around with this lot nowadays”
Once your eyes found Tech, you couldn't bring yourself to look away. He seemed to be hanging back a bit, his eyes once again a little wide behind his goggles.
“Hey!” Wrecker said excitedly, earning a small laugh from you.
“Hey Wrecker, hey Hunter” You smiled at the clones.
“Hi” The Sergeant smiled at you.
Wrecker then pushed Tech forwards, and you smirked a little as he glared at his larger brother.
“Hey Tech, how's it going?” You asked, and he brought his eyes back to you.
In a way he couldn't define, you seemed more mature than when he had last saw you. Perhaps it was the tiredness he saw in your eyes, or perhaps it was the few small scars that adorned your skin, clearly earned in battle. The thought of you sustaining injuries made his stomach lurch, so he tried not to think of it.
The way you were looking at him was so familiar. Your smile was kind and easy, gracing your features in a way that was so uniquely you. The light crinkle around your eyes and lips, the small glint in your eye, the way one side of your mouth was more contorted than the other. Tech was certainly glad to see you.
“Uh… it is going well” Tech replied unsurely after a moment, and you smirked a little bit at his answer.
It was intoxicating to be in Tech's presence once more. Everytime you were around him, things felt a little different, like there was something in the air that made everyone else look a bit more fuzzy as he was brought into focus. It didn't ever help that he was seemingly always getting so much more handsome every time you saw him.
His auburn locks were a little longer at the moment, no doubt because his biggest priority whilst on the run from the Empire was not his hair, but you weren't complaining. His hair framed his angelic face so perfectly, his features undeniably sharper and more mature, though his eyes were still as soft and gentle as they had always been, with a startling youthfulness that he couldn't seem to shake.
“It's good to see you guys, I'm glad to see you're not… with the Empire” You said a little hesitantly, then noticed the small blonde girl that was hiding behind Hunter.
He noticed you looking at her and introduced her to you.
“It's nice to meet you Omega” You smiled, kneeling down to get on her level.
“It's nice to meet you too, though I have already heard of you since Tech talks about you a lot” She said matter-of-factly.
“Is that right?” You smirked, looking up at Tech, whose cheeks were positively burning.
“I think I may have mentioned your existence a few times” He spoke flatly, but the edge of squeakiness gave him away.
The idea of Tech talking about you, or even just casually mentioning your existence in a passing comment, was enough to set your heart alight. In whatever manner it had truly been, he had at least always remembered you in some way, and that brought the smile to your face.
Hunter then said goodbye to you, and then to Echo, and retreated to the ship. Tech did the same, but instead walked towards you, stopping just in front of you. You had to crane your neck a little to look up at him in the pleasantly close quarters. Had he always been this tall?
“I-” He just looked at you for a while, and you smiled at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. “I have many questions to ask you” He finished.
You chuckled, “Maybe another time?”
Tech couldn't help but sigh, the familiar words making his heart ache, “Another time, yes”
“I think I owe you something now” You said with a small grin, trying to ease the light crease in his brow.
Tech watched your expression change cautiously, “Owe me? I don't think so”
“I mean, if you don't want it then-”
“Well, I must admit, I am curious now”
You laughed at his interjection, smiling at him fondly, “Alright, here you go then”
You placed a hand on his cheek and brought your lips to the other one, placing a lingering kiss to his cheekbone. Tech closed his eyes at the bittersweet feeling of it, and opened them to look back into yours. He placed his own hand to your cheek before the moment could end, and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth, his eyes searching yours. He took a quick glance over your shoulder and saw his brothers all watching him, waiting for him so they could leave, and he chewed the corner of his lip a little as he looked back to you.
“One of these days, I'll give you a proper kiss” He said quietly, making your heart skip a beat, “If you'd like that”
“I'd like that very much” You replied quickly, the grin on your face only growing.
Tech cracked his own small smile. “Another time then” He whispered, and looked over your features for a second longer, before placing a soft kiss to your forehead and walking away.
You watched him leave with an undeniable fondness swelling in your heart. You had felt a certain affection for Tech from the very beginning, and the thrill of the idea of him returning the feelings that you harboured for him brought forth the newfound nature of said feelings.
It went deeper than just liking him in a special way. This emotion you felt when you looked at him, or when you thought of him, was different. The way your heart stopped when he looked at you, the way your breath hitched when he spoke your name, you knew it was different. This was far more profound than a silly crush. The longevity of your affections had caused them to develop into something deeper, more serious.
Something like love.
17BBY, REBELLION BASE
“I need to talk to you”
You looked up from cleaning your workstation and saw Echo striding towards you, determination in his eyes that seemed otherwise tired and possibly even sad.
“What's the matter?” You asked, rushing over to meet him in the middle.
He opened his mouth, trying to find the words, but finding them hard to say, to admit even to himself.
“I… was just on a mission with the batch” He started.
“Oh how are they? How's Tech?” You ask, your mood lifted just a little.
Echo's heart ached, his eyebrows pinching together as his lips formed a hard line. His eyes began to well up slightly and he blinked a few times to rid himself of the tears.
“I'm so sorry” He whispered.
“Why are you sorry?” You asked cautiously.
“Tech… He-” Echo swallowed, “He didn't make it, he fell”
The words hit directly into your heart, and you could almost feel it collapse in on itself.
“Wh- What?” You whimpered out, almost hoping that you had heard him wrong, or that it was just a cruel joke of some kind.
“He… He sacrificed himself for the squad, so that they could live”
You couldn't say anything, couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't think. The only thing you could do, was let the feeling of everything crashing down wash over you. It truly felt as if the hinges of your life, the certain something that seemingly held it up, had come loose.
You heard Echo say your name, but it was distant, like he was in another room. Your knees slowly gave in, and he grabbed you as you fell to the ground. He held you in his arms as you cried silently, your tears soaking through his clothes. He stroked your hair comfortingly, whispering assurances about how it was going to be fine, that everything would be alright.
“I never got to tell him, Echo” You choked out eventually, cutting through his smooth words.
“Tell him what?” He asked tenderly, knowing all too well what it was.
“That I… love him” You said, and a small sob finally escaped you.
Somehow it felt even harder to admit now that he was gone. Your love didn't feel as if it was in the past tense. It felt present, current, and that's why the sudden grief stung so much - the love was still lingering, and it didn't feel as if it was planning on leaving anytime soon. After all, it had managed to survive not seeing him for long periods of time, and to your broken heart, it felt the same.
17BBY, IMPERIAL PRISION
You surfaced slowly into consciousness, your eyes trying to open, but to no avail. You could feel your wrists caught in restraints, held above you on either side of your head. You tried to remember what had happened, but everything was fuzzy. You were… at the base. The Bad Batch were there, then… You were attacked? You were running with… Howzer? and then…
You couldn't recall anything past that point, but when your eyes finally opened you had a little idea of what could have happened. Sat opposite you with their arms crossed, was a man dressed head to toe in black armour, like the operative that Rex had captured before the attack on the base. He began talking, but it wasn't initially intelligible.
You shook your head to try and clear the brain fog a little, “Wha-”
“Tell me where the girl is” He demanded. The sound of his voice was so eerily familiar, but it was heavily modified by his helmet.
“Girl?” You questioned through your delirious state, turning your wrists in their restraints. Naturally, you knew who he was talking about, but you weren't going to give up that easily.
“Omega. I saw you talking with her, I know you know her and her brothers. Now, tell me, where would they have taken her?”
You pressed your mouth into a hard line, you could hardly deny it if he had seen you. “I won't talk”
He sighed, standing up and walking over so he stood in front of you, “I don't need to hurt you…” He said your name, and a chill ran up your spine. How could he know your name?
“That's not my name” You narrowed your eyes, looking into his visor.
“You cannot lie to me, Cyare” He spoke, and ran a hand over your cheek, “It would serve you well to tell the truth, it would be a shame to have to ruin this pretty face”
You looked over the man's appearance, for any semblance of individuality, but there was nothing.
“Who are you?” You asked.
“No one that concerns you anymore” The man chuckled, stepping back from you, “Now, tell me, what has become of the defective clones?”
You clenched your jaw in defiance, refusing to spill anything without even a little bit if incentive. You were clearly in some kind of imperial facility, but you weren't in any immediate danger, so you would stay stubborn for as long as you could.
The man spoke your name in a warning tone, his head tilted to the side, “I need you to tell me”
“I wont tell you anything” You spat back at him. He was irritatingly calm and collected, something you had not experienced from the Empire before.
He folded his hands behind his back, humming thoughtfully, “You will. Perhaps, another time”
With that, he turned and pressed the button on the door panel to leave.
You let your head hang down again, letting out a deep breath. If you weren't so tired you were sure that you'd be more panicked, but as your eyes closed and you let the exhaustion take over, you couldn't find it in yourself to be scared. Your body ached, and you needed it to rest if you wanted any chance of getting out of here.
The mysterious operative returned often over the next few days, pushing for answers but always leaving empty handed. He would always threaten violence, but had not touched you once since caressing your face in that first encounter.
He was now stood opposite you as he always was, making another empty threat about how you would be hurt if you didn't answer him.
You rolled your eyes, “Are you ever going to hold true to that promise?”
He stayed silent, and you laughed a little.
“Come on, I dare you, hurt me” You urged, jutting your chin out.
You were so tired of this, and he was obviously worn out by your defiance as well.
“I told you” He spoke quietly, “The last thing I would ever mean to do is hurt you”
Your heart stopped, and your eyes went wide as the familiar voice finally placed itself, hearing the same words that it had said all those years ago.
“It can't be, you-”
The man reached up and took off his helmet with a short hiss. He looked different, his face scarred and weary, his goggles nowhere to be seen, but it was undeniably him. The only thing that could have convinced you otherwise was the fact that his eyes didn't have the youthful sparkle they always seemed to in the past. Instead, they looked tired, completely worn down, and cold.
“Tech” You whispered, your heart beating impossibly fast in your chest.
He stepped closer, “I do not go by that name anymore”
On instinct, your eyes began to water, and a single tear ran down your cheek, “What are you doing here? You- You're with the Empire?”
He didn't reply, but he took off a glove and brought his hand to your face to wipe your tear away. You closed your eyes, and he let his hand remain on your cheek, rubbing your cheekbone lightly.
“I need you to tell me what I want to know” He spoke so softly now, and you opened your eyes and look up into his. They were still so inviting despite their unfamiliar coldness.
“Tech, why are you doing this?”
He didn't reply again, but brought his other hand to your cheek and held your face gently, his own just in front of yours, “Tell me”
“I can't” You choked out, brow furrowed as he ignored your questions.
“Please, Cyare. They will hurt you if you don't talk”
“Let them” You said firmly, tugging your face from his hands, “I won't betray your brothers”
Tech just watched you for a moment before opening his mouth again.
“So be it”
He put his helmet back on and left the room, leaving you alone with the revelation that the man you had been in love with was not only alive, but under the control of the Empire, the very thing you had dedicated your life to defeating.
The following day, when you lifted your head to see Tech enter your cell, he was now joined by an Imperial officer, and a floating droid that had a thin needle protruding from it. You understood all too well what this droid was, what it was used for, and you pulled at your restraints, a string of grunts escaping your lips.
“Resisting will do you no good” The Imperial officer chuckled, standing before you as the droid positioned itself to your left.
Tech couldn't watch. He kept his head up, appearing to be looking straight through you, but he had to close his eyes. Your screams were enough. You were resisting at every turn, and Tech just wished you would relent so that he wouldn't have to listen to the awful sounds that escaped you. The sounds that cut deep through his conditioning and hit his very soul, causing his chest to ache.
“Please, Tech. Make them stop” You cried hopelessly, and he squeezed his eyes closed even further, trying to block everything out.
To you, he looked cold, unmoving, and even after the Imperial had left with the droid as you had not let anything slip, he didn't budge at all.
After a few minutes of quiet, the only sound that was heard being your heavy breathing, he stepped forwards, taking off his helmet and letting it drop to the floor. He reached up and let you down from your restraints, catching your body as it fell down, limp with exhaustion. He knelt on the floor, his hand on the back of your head as it rested in his lap.
Your eyes fluttered open to see his face. He looked undeniably remorseful, and his eyes had a little amount of that special spark that they used to. You reached up and touched his face, causing his eyes to close with a shaky breath.
“What have they done to you Tech?” You whispered, your throat raw from shouting.
He didn't speak, but his heart clenched in his chest, every word you spoke bringing him further from the conditioning he had been subjected to to make him the way he was.
“How you could you let them do this to your brothers? To me? Do you not care about me at all?”
His eyes were now glassy when he opened them and looked down at you. He leant down and brought his forehead to yours, “I care for you more than you know”
Your tears were streaming down your face, “Then why are you doing this?”
Looking so deeply into your teary eyes, something in him finally snapped. He had a moment of intense clarity, fighting through his conditioning and realising the severity of his actions, of who he now was, who he had been forced to become.
He helped you stand before tying you back up in your restraints, much to your confusion.
You were sobbing now, your body and mind heavy with exhaustion, “Tech, please. Please stop this”
“I will come back for you, Cyare” He whispered, bringing his forehead back to yours with a hand on the back of your head, “I will get you out of here, I promise”
He stepped back, and was about to put his helmet back on, but he looked up to you once more.
“I am so very sorry”
You saw a tear slip from his eye, and he then placed his helmet on his head, leaving you alone once more.
Holding true to his promise, Tech returned that night. He unclipped your restraints, and you crumbled to your knees.
“Come on Cyar'ika, I'm going to get you out of here” He said gently, helping you to stand.
You tried to get a good footing, but your legs were too weak, and you fell into him. Without needing to be told, he picked you up, slinging an arm behind your back and the other under your knees. You rested your hands on his chest, looking up at his helmeted face and feeling unsure about his motivations. You were too tired to inquire though, so you just leaned your head against his shoulder and let him take you wherever he was going.
Tech carried you through the corridors of the prison, looking around corners and making sure to take the route where there would be the least guards. He constantly made sure you were still with him, as you kept slipping in and out of consciousness, so he'd place his fingers against your pulse point.
He slammed his hand into the door panel, and entered the elevator that would take you to the surface. The doors slid closed and he looked down at you, and behind his mask, he couldn't help but smile.
You looked so peaceful, so calm, so… beautiful.
For the first time, he let himself think of the future. He would get you out of here, and then he'd be free to think about his future. Maybe he'd re-join his brothers on Pabu, maybe… you would come with him. He hoped you could forgive him for the mistakes he'd made.
The doors opened, and Tech stepped out, pacing quickly across the landing platform to the nearest ship. Before he could make it there though, a bright light was shone on the pair of you from above.
“Trooper, put the prisoner down” A voice spoke through a loudspeaker, and he held you tightly in defiance.
He continued towards the transport, but was stopped in his place as blaster fire ripped through the air. His leg gave way as one of the shots grazed him, and he collapsed onto his knee, keeping you close to his chest so you wouldn’t hit the ground. He heard you let out a strangled gasp, and his heart sunk to his feet.
He pulled back from you, and sure enough, a blaster bolt had ripped straight into your chest.
He began panicking instantly, his breath quick and ragged, his heart stuttering and beating at an uneven pace. He let you rest in his lap, looking up to him through half lidded eyes that told him what he already knew to be true.
“No” He said assuredly, “You’re fine, you’re okay”
“Tech” You whispered.
“Everything will be fine” He bit into his bottom lip, completely in denial of what was happening.
“Tech” You said more firmly, though your voice was croaky, “It’s okay”
“It is not okay!” He exclaimed, tears spilling from his eyes that had quickly welled up.
He just watched you in disbelief, now unable to control the sobs that left his mouth. He had never cried so hard at anything in his life, but right now it felt as if everything was ending when it had only barely just begun.
“I'm so sorry Cyare, for everything” He whispered, his heart aching when you gave him a half-hearted smile.
“I know Tech, I know” You said breathlessly, the feeling of the blaster bolt to your heart ripping any strength from you.
Tech held your body close to him as the life slipped from you.
“It shouldn't have been like this, I should've protected you” He sobbed into your chest.
You pulled his head back and hooked your fingers under the edge of his helmet, taking it off his head so you could look into his eyes. You placed your hand on the side of his scarred cheek, and he leaned into it savouring your warm touch while he still could.
“It's okay Tech, I forgive you”
He didn't even think, he didn’t want to. Instead he just brought his lips to yours, the salty taste of his tears finding your tongue. The kiss was perfect, yet so bittersweet. It was something you had both waited years for, but now it would be one of the last moments you would ever share together. Tech kissed you so fervently, pouring every inch of his being into you, connecting his soul to yours, and in return you gave everything you had, even as it was slipping away.
He didn’t want it to end, and neither did you, but you knew your time was limited, and you had something you needed to say. You had thought that you had missed your chance before, and you’d be damned if you missed it now, in your final moments.
“Tech” You whispered, pulling away from him and looking into his glassy eyes, “I love you”
He let out a choked sob and brought his forehead to yours, “I love you too Cyar’ika, I always will”
His forehead rested against yours as you slipped away. He was whispering apologies, his eyes closed, unable to look into your eyes and see the light leave them. After a few moments, your hand fell from his face, and that's when he knew you were gone.
Tech held you close to him for a moment longer before his blood began boiling with rage. He laid your lifeless body against the ground, closing your eyes and making sure you could be comfortable even in death.
He stood, a flame burning inside of him that spread throughout his limbs, urging his fingers to find the pair of blasters that sat at his hip. He unholstered them just as blaster fire once more resumed. He dodged what he could, shooting the stormtroopers that closed in on him and depleting their numbers single-handedly, but his luck was eventually going to run out, and he knew that.
The first shot was to his shoulder, sending him stumbling backwards, but he fought through the searing pain and continued knocking down the soldiers. The second shot placed itself in his knee and he cried out as it gave way and he fell to his other knee, still fighting for his life. The third and fourth shots were the true nail in the coffin, both of them finding his chest and ripping him open as you had been. Even though he had armour, it was not enough to withstand two blaster bolts to the heart.
He fell forwards, his body sprawled on the floor unceremoniously. He lifted his head just a little to look towards your body. He grasped ahead of him and found purchase on your hand, still warm as if you were there comforting him through death as he had for you.
He laid down on his back as he saw his life flashing before his eyes, your hand clasped in his, and he mourned the life that could have been. Perhaps in another life, another time, things would have ended differently.
summary: Plagued from horrible nightmares, you make your way over to Crosshair's bedroom, looking for some comfort.
warnings: reader has nightmares in the beginning, in which crosshair dies or gets hurt in various ways, pre-relationship, some hugs and snuggles, sharing a bed
words: ~1380
a/n: hello! it's been some time since i wrote a crosshair x reader fic. even though it's a rough start, it's mainly fluff and soft!crosshair. this is also a fic for @summer-of-bad-batch, with the prompts "forget i asked.", hugs and nightmares. i hope you enjoy!
Crosshair gets shot.
Crosshair jumps off a cliff, trying to land on a smaller one below. He misses.
Crosshair gets stabbed.
Crosshair is crushed by falling containers.
Crosshair stands too close to an explosion. He blows up.
Crosshair is surprised in his gunner's nest. He doesn't make it.
Crosshair's other hand gets cut off.
Crosshair lying on the floor, lifeless.
Crosshair gets tortured, his wailing a sound you'll never forget.
Crosshair, smeared with blood. His own blood.
Crosshair, slumped in a corner, unmoving.
Crosshair, dead.
Dead. He's dead. He's dead and he won't come back again. Not ever.
You'll be alone with all those horrors in your memories. You'll never be happy and careless again without him.
You're the one who is tortured. Who falls off the cliff. Stabbed. On fire. Dead.
Dread fills you, pain everywhere. In every fiber of your body. It hurts- it hurts so much- and you're alone. All alone.
You wake up, screaming.
It's dark, the air too hot. You're sweating and shaking at the same time. Your lungs scream for air, you're breathless.
Where are- Where are you? It's dark. Too dark, you can't see a thing.
Outside there's some noise, it sounds like a broke radio: all you hear is an unsettling kshhh that comes in waves, but it's not as aggressive as you remember it.
It's hot. So hot, that your hair stick to your face and your bed feels disgustingly wet.
Suddenly, there's a scream.
No, not a scream - a bird. A bird that twitters this weird melody. You know that melody from... from... home.
It's your neighbor's bird. At this unholy hour.
You swallow, start to reach around.
Wood, something soft, and then metal. You tap the metal, and it gets brighter in your room.
Your room. With the yellow walls, the wooden furniture and the many photos and paintings on the wall.
You're at home.
At home.
You take another shaking breath.
It was just - just a nightmare.
But you're still unsettled.
Crosshair- he was dead, killed in too many different situations.
You swallow, your throat feels dry, and you reach for your glass of water on the nightstand.
You empty the glass.
It calms you down a bit.
But you're still shaking, so badly.
You know it was just some stupid nightmare, but - but you just couldn't calm down completely.
Is he fine?
Yeah, of course he is. He's just two rooms over, probably sleeping like a baby. Without any nightmares.
But, what if not?
Before you think twice about it, you're up and sneaking through the dark halls and only stop in front of his room.
Quietly, you knock and after getting a sleepy "what", you open the door quietly.
It creaks, and makes you jump.
"Sorry- I- I just- are you okay?" you ask him.
His room isn't as dark as yours - his curtains are open and a silver ray of moonshine lights up the small room.
He looks at you from his bed, buried beneath his blanket.
"Yeah, of course I'm okay. It's in the middle of the night, what did you expect?" he asks, not amused by you waking him up. You know how much he appreciates his sleep and at the same time he's just right - of course he's okay. It's in the middle of the night.
"Oh- I- s-sorry," you stammer and try to walk out backwards again, your eyes on his.
He looks at you contemplating, sitting up after a second.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asks after a few seconds. Your hands were still shaking, and you are still just about to cry.
"Yeah- yeah I just- I had a nightmare, and you died and- I was alone and- Just wanted to make sure you're still here and okay," you stumble over your words, and you see how Crosshairs face softens.
"Yeah I'm fine. I- are you?" he says, and you could hear worry in his tone.
You swallow and try to say yes, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You're still scared shitless, and agitated. Nothing was fine.
Crosshair seems to notice as much.
"Do you want to talk? Come here, you can... Do you want to sleep here?" He then proposes and your breath hitches.
You know you like him a lot. Like a lot a lot. And sometimes you feel like he likes you too. In the same way, you like him. But then again - none of you never took it a step further. You are just friends that could be with each other a lot. It felt like the two of you were too shy to do anything about it. But this time, it feels like he just made such a big step at once. And you are ready to take him by the hand and walk that step with him.
Of course, he still could just mean it in a friendly way - but he didn't need to ask you if you wanted to stay the night.
He could just have asked you to talk to him and then send you off again.
But sleeping in his bed feels... intimate. It is special. And it definitely isn't something you'd do with just a friend. Not in Crosshair's world, at least. And not in yours, either.
You know that. And he knows it, too.
With a head full of thoughts, you almost forget to answer. Only when Crosshair's voice sounds across the room again, you remember that he indeed asked you to talk with him, and to be with him tonight.
But Crosshair's words are not what you expect: "Forget I asked," he says after a few minutes of just silence.
You swallow. "No- I- you'd want that? I- of course I want to," you whisper and take a step closer.
Crosshair just looks at you.
"If your offer still stands..." you add.
Crosshair takes a few moments, in which you fear he already changed his mind and instead of getting a step forward, you just took three steps back, but then he nods a single time.
You come closer and carefully sit next to him.
He lifts his blanket and lets you slip under, close to him.
You feel his warmth, his body. His chest raises with every breath he takes, and suddenly you're just so close.
"You just... died. So many times," you whisper and start to tell him about your disturbing nightmare. You feel how tears well up in your eyes again, but you pull yourself together and stop yourself from crying. He's fine.
Crosshair listens, and nods. When you finish, he's quiet for a few seconds.
"I- don't know what-" he begins to say, hesitating. Then he sighs quietly.
"I'm not the best at comforting others," he admits quietly. "But... Wrecker really appreciates hugs," he then says. You see some insecurity in his eyes, and you soon realize it's because he doesn't want to hurt you or say the wrong things. So instead, he just asks: "Do you want a hug, too?"
A small smile appears on your lips.
"If you're okay with that, I'd love to," you whisper back. You're not sure if you see it right, since it's dark and his face is just lit by the moonlight, but for a second you think his face becomes a little peachy.
"Wouldn't offer if I wasn't," he says and carefully lays an arm around you.
You sigh quietly, embracing him and his warmth, and put an arm across his stomach, too.
Together, you slide down and you nestle your head on his shoulder, drawing small circles around his stomach.
Even though the night started in such a horrible way, it's easy to find an upside about it all. You and Crosshair were far away from talking about your feelings for each other, and you sure as hell have a long road in front of you. But you were pretty sure you just took a big step on this road, and you are ready to gear up and take some more.
You fall asleep just moments later.
This time, you don't have any nightmares or other disturbances, and for the first time in a long, long time you feel well rested when you wake up. Still in Crosshair's arms.
Sometimes I think about Rex and Ahsoka's first encounter all the way back on Christophsis and how unimpressed Rex was with this naively arrogant padawan (no doubt coming up with a million contingency plans as he calculates the chaos potential with this youngling now joining Skywalker 24/7). He's throwing life lessons at her within 5 minutes of meeting. "Experience outranks everything" and bringing her down off of her Jedi pedestal in one conversation.
Then their last encounter of TCW, fighting back to back, unwavering trust in each other to get the other out alive and do what they can to save as many of the clones as they can (just to have that ripped from their hands). Ahsoka is no longer that naive padawan and Rex is no longer just "that clone she outranks". They're brother and sister, and they would die for each other. Just love the journey from "the padawan this captain didn't want" to them being each other's anchor when their galaxy is ripped away from them.
