The reality is that I fucked up and lost the girl that made my heart skip a beat every time I seen her face, heard her voice, smelled her scent, or even thought of her smile. The last four or six weeks have been a depression filled blur with my mind wanting to give up yet my heart trying to hold on for a while. The hearts an odd thing that has reason that reason knows nothing of, stupid fucking thing if you ask me. It's so easily broken and trampled on by others, effortlessly it seems, yet it continues to fight and hold on to the dream. I don't know if I'm going to let it win the battle though this time, it's fighting for another chance, to feel truly alive, to hold you again, to feel complete, as it only does with you, I just don't know if mentally I can have that hope, the easiest solution is to continue this hazy numbness and kill my hearts dream slowly and make it explode with more and more dope. Let that which killed our bond just fucking be a champion and destroy all of me completely, because living without you now I'm lost and everything but complete and I don't want to live life like this. Opportunities abound and even if I smile underneath is a frown, because you're not around, and with you is where I belong. I'm dying without you, and I get nothing from you at all, as if I'm nothing, or ever was, like you have no love or concern for me whatsoever and I was completely disposable. I love you and I can't believe that that's dead between us, not after all the years that passed by with us constantly searching to fill the void and finally feeling that when our eyes met again after 15yrs. I want to give up but you're worth the fight, baby you've always been worth the fight, I'm just sorry I hadn't been strong enough to walk away before this fight I'm in even started. I need you, I can't win this fight without you and I don't believe I want to. Please help me, just show me our love was real, please forgive me, I am sorry and I will make it up to you if you'll allow me any opportunity to do so, even if it takes me everyday for the rest of my life. I can't imagine spending them without you in my life. Please, don't delete me and turn away from me as if I never were, nor we, I can't survive that. I can't stop loving you, you're the one my heart was meant to beat for.
gracieabrams
theartofmadeline
2087
stormborns
titsay
kianamaiart
