WANNABE 20TH YEAR CELEBRATION
>> REASONS WHY I LOVE AND HATE THE SPICE GIRLS AT THE SAME TIME.
Love and hate are two very powerful words, and I don´t use them as often as other people do, but this is a different situation.
I always wanted to share this with everyone but I never did, and today seems like a good day to so. I hope at least one of them get to read this.
In 1997 (I was 13 years old) I got the album SPICE as a birthday gift (around February) after asking for it so much to my parents. I saw them for the first time on MTV Brazil, performing the video Say You´ll be There, and I felt in love in that same moment. Those looks, those girls, that place, THAT SONG! I felt so inspired that it became a ticking bomb inside of me. I needed that album. And after I got it I would sing-a-long and dance all day long. At school other students would bully me for liking them, calling me faggot and other stupid names. I always tried to be strong about it but somehow that affected me.
Because I liked their image so much, I decided to start drawing and using their pictures to make collages, like turning them into fairies or mermaids, I would use illustrations of fantasy artists I knew at the time that I found online and would do all sort of collages on computer, in a software that I barely understood but had a great time trying and discovering. They inspired me to became an artist, a creative artist, and no other band or singer would do that to me at the time. I used to draw them everyday, ugly drawings, but I would never stop. I remember the only thing I wanted to do in my life is see them live performing their amazing songs, just the thought of it would give me chills, that was my true dream, and being from Brazil that was hard for me at the time, and it never happened.
The day Ginger Spice left the band, was literally one of the worst days of my life, probably the first time i had my heart broken, I was 14 at the time and I cried all day, I layed in a couch on the living room and spent the day feeling sad, feeling something wasn't right, a feeling of something being unfair. Even after that I would follow their steps, even when the band was broken after the album FOREVER ( name which was a reason why I have SPICE tattooed in my back, so it would last forever) I carry on following them on their solo careers. I never understood why they would be singing solo and not with each other, but I didn't care, at least they were making music. I never stopped caring about them.
2007 came (ten years later) and they all got together (with Ginger) and waved flags around the world letting us know they would be everywhere in the world, specially for those who didn't have the opportunity to see them live on the 90´s, I have to say that I cried again, a cry of hope, I knew that my dream wasn't over, They announced Argentina (closest to Brazil) and I had to go there to see them, I didn't care if they included Brazil or not. After some months went by, they cancelled most of the world tour and added new dates to America, London and Europe, places where they clearly been many times and people have seen them there. They cancelled the places where people never saw them, and were expecting to see them. I was devastated, I remember being angry at them, very angry, I even created some very aggressive illustrations and posted online in a way that other fans around the world would understand me. I didn't feel proud of it once the anger was gone, so I decided to remove from the internet. I learned how to hate them, as much as I learned how to love them in the beginning of their career.
Some people say its stupid to love them the way I love, but only I can understand how much they changed the path in my life. They gave me life, they gave me inspiration and I will always be grateful for them and their silly music. I miss those days, but they taught me to never give up on the good times, and those were golden times.
In this year of 2016, I went to visit Los Angeles, and while I was there, a friend told me about a company that would be sreening the movie (Spice World - the Movie) on a rooftop of a building in Hollywood. I manage to get a ticket even though they were all sold out. I was very excited to be there and see one of my favorite movies playing in a big screen in Hollywood, minutes before the movie started, the presenter announced that Melanie B was a surprise guest and that she would be there to say hi. As soon as he said that she walks in and started to speak about the movie. I remember I didn't even listen to her speaking, when she was walking in, my ears somehow shut down, it was all silence and I literally was standing in front of Scary Spice for the first time in my life, and I didn't even knew that was going to happen - I just couldn't believe my own eyes. After recovering myself from what was going on, I managed to approach her and I was able to talk to her for a few seconds. I tried to let her know how much she meant to me, she was sweet and hugged me, but I wish I could sit down and talk to her about everything. I didn't even get to have a picture with her because my phone battery died (does it mean something?). I cried a lot, tears of love and hate mixed together. A bittersweet feeling to being close to someone who inspired me so much but at the same time being so far away. I know for a fact that nothing related to the Spice Girls will be like I want it to be, just like this 20th reunion, I wish they could all be together, but their not. I´m happy to see Geri, Emma and Mel B together trying so hard. But at the same time it's even harder not seeing Vick and Mel C there, which makes me wonder, does "friendship never ends" really mean something? Couldn't they put aside their fears and differences for the fans just for a month? For a little while??
I will always love them unconditionally for what they mean to me as an artist and for blossoming my creativity, but at the same time I will always hate them for what they did to us, the fans, and taking for granted how much they mean to us. Specially the Brazilian fans.
Happy celebration, and happy birthday Wannabe. Oh, you can call me stupid, but I will always be waiting, everlasting, like the sun.
#SpiceGirlsForever
gummygunk
areudirty
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
jbbartram-illu
andulkaphoto
izzy806