My First Mother’s Day - In Honor of my Mother
I’ve been wanting to start my own blog for a few years but every time I would set aside time to write, I could never decide on what I was going to write about. I needed it to be something meaningful and significant and with Mother's Day approaching I knew it was a perfect topic to start with. (I might not even be cut out to be a “Blogger” but I sure hope after reading this you would take away something significant).
As I have mentioned in the title above, this year I will be celebrating my first Mother’s Day and as I look forward to that special day and the many years ahead I want to take a moment to take a look-back to someone who I have been celebrating on this day for many years, my mom. As you see in the older Polaroid photo above you will notice my oh so wonderful bedhead hairstyle, a coloring book, I.V’s in my arm, and of course cheesy smile.
This was the year that I was diagnosed with Leukemia. In fact, this is the very month that my mom took me into the doctor’s office to find out why I was still feeling sick after 3 weeks. This was the month when doctors told my mother that I had cancer and that I only had weeks to live if I didn’t start treatments right away. This was the month that my mom cried in the lobby. This was the month that my parent’s lives changed forever.
When I think about this moment I can’t help but think about my daughter and wonder what it would have felt like to receive that devastating news. I can’t imagine and quite frankly I don’t want to imagine. But my mother did as most moms do when they have a sick child, they muster up all their courage and strength and they move forward despite their fears. They do whatever necessary to help their child feel better. They pray for them, they hold them, they remind them how much they are loved and most of all they are there for them every day and every night.
I have realized in my short time as a mother, that when you become a mother, you become a completely different person. You don’t just take on a new role but you become that role. You become what your child needs and you keep giving yourself to them daily. I am fairly new to this “mom thing” but so far it’s been the scariest and most wonderful journey. I remember asking my mom one day (after a scary visit to the Urgent Care with Olivia) how she handled all that I was going through when I was sick. How was she still able to function as a mom to my brothers with all the doctors appointments, hospital stays, and the prescription pick-ups? She replied, “I did what I had to do, I had to be strong, for you and for them.”
I am sure she had many sleepless nights, nights when she cried herself to sleep and even nights she cried with my father about how scared she was and how she hated to see me in the hospital week after week. I never saw those tears but what I always remember every morning when I woke up, every time I came out of a procedure, there she was, smiling.
I think God chose her to be my mom with a great purpose, to bring me JOY. My life, to the outsider was glim, but it was filled with Joy because God chose her for me. Her presence brought me joy. She never left my side and helped me face every scary moment. So to you mom, THANK YOU… Thank you for filling me with JOY. Thank you for the smiles every morning even when my hair was falling out on my pillow. Thank you for bringing me joy when the chemo made me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t have done it without you. You helped me through it all.
Thank you for praying over my life, thank you for believing in God for a miracle. Thank you for every late night in the hospital. Thank you for doing the things you had to do, big and small. Thank you for sheltering me with a mother’s love. Thank you for making every day as normal as possible. Thank you for holding my hand when I was scared. Thank you for being you….
As I celebrate my first Mother’s Day I will think of you and how you helped me become the woman and mother I am today. I will never be able to thank you enough for all that you’ve done and I could never repay you but I hope this will at least show you a glimpse of the tremendous gratitude I have in my heart for you.
I love you and Happy Mother’s Day.
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