DETEKOIYA

just a big kid who wants to play her old games

[axebombah-deactivated20150404]

[axebombah-deactivated20150404]

it’s back

[mrslovelytown]

imagine if the woke tumblr fangirls could take a breather from splitting problematic hairs and actually hunt down receipts about wrestlers being rapists/predators/pedophiles

[nojillnolife]

[mrslovelytown]

name a more iconic duo

[mrslovelytown]

one of my coworkers eats his sushi with a knife and fork

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

[mrslovelytown]

reuploading some old time christmas #content get festive people

[mrslovelytown]

hello friends it is time to talk about why i am sad.

today’s first breakdown was relating to not hearing anything positive from any job stuff in england which is incredibly disheartening because I want to find something and get it or else my whole moving plan will be a failure and i will have failed and let myself down and let everyone down.

add onto that comparing myself to some of my other classmates in j-school which made me feel like i’m doing super badly. just nothing cool or like “wow you’re a reporter in a market! wow you’re moving!”

the fact that even those top tier people are doing their starter stuff in small markets should be like “SEE THE INDUSTRY IS TOUGH” but i’m just like disappointed that i’ve fuckin failed at my first half a year out of school.

cause i’m not employed permanently anywhere. and i only started getting consistent positive feedback at work IN THE PAST MONTH. WOW. I AM A SLOW HUMAN.

maybe that’s the one consolation. i finally suck less at work. it only took like 7-8 months. inspires a lot of confidence in my abilities am i right guys.

that being said: I was not good enough for either a part time or a full time position at the place i freelance at. so i’m mourning the inevitable departure i have to make from that work. it sucks that i have to leave cause there are so many people there who are golden. just a bunch of easy to get along with guys. and because i blew my chance at being permanent i have to go find the cool life on the other side of the ocean i think exists over there.

i don’t know how forgiveness works in job land. it doesn’t seem like a world of second chances. if i had just been good enough at the right time i wouldn’t have to do a stupid crazy life decision. and i wouldn’t have to bum myself out at letting go.