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non chiamarmi egoista

il mio cuore è straziato dal pensiero di aver perso una persona come te

ma sarebbe stato egoista condannarti all’infelicità con me - non potrei farti questo

ma non sai quanto

quanto

vorrei essere egoista

vorrei tornare indietro e sceglierti

ma sarebbe crudele farti questo

non posso

I often ask myself

Why am I just a “friend with benefits”, “nothing too complicated”, “something easy”?

Why do you say and pretend to adore me just to fuck and then leave me?

Why do you go out with my friend?

Why do you do things with her you never even proposed me?

Why do i feel like i don’t deserve to be loved?

I used to think i was too fat and because of that nobody would ever love me, but that’s not quite it

Maybe I’m too fat and ugly, maybe they’re ashamed to be with me

I used to say this to myself

I thought that maybe I was too loud, too opinionated or noisy

But even when I was quiet, shy and obedient they broke up with me. I actually used to think I was boring

Why am I not to be loved? Am I a little bit too “me”?

Do I need to annihilate myself to be loved? Is it really love if I’m not myself?

sxdbabygrl

“Look at how fucking fat you look, babydoll. Do you feel proud of all these disgusting rolls of fat? Don’t you want to look fragile and tiny? Don’t you want your bones to be popping out? Don’t you wanna be so skinny your parents will cry? Don’t you want to be loved? Because no one will love a fat pig like yourself.”

— Ana & Mia

lifeinpoetry

I wanted to be loved more than I wanted to be alive. For so long

I thought not to be loved is good but to be loved is to be good.

All those years, convinced — surely I must be bad, the way you keep punishing me.

— Leila Chatti, from “Faulty,” published in Prairie Schooner

if i weren’t this fat:

-that dress would look so good on me

-maybe my boyfriend would love me for me

-i wouldn’t have to worry about people looking at me with disgust

-a lot more jeans would fit me better

-i wouldn’t be the d.u.f.f. in my friendship group

-my boyfriend would be proud of being with me

- i wouldn’t be the fattest person in the room

- nobody would say that it’s best for me to eat healthy cause i wouldn’t look unhealthy

-i wouldn’t have to be scared of ripping clothes when trying them

- my boyfriend would pick me up and carry me around with ease

{to be edited}

#pro only for myself #meanspø #thinsp0

sometimes i feel like he likes every type of girl but me

innsane-deactivated20210907

dearbisexual

dam…….. that website “you feel like shit” (it’s like a questionnaire / troubleshooting guide for when you feel like shit) really works………………….. im not even all the way thru it and i even half-assed a lot of the suggestions and i already feel loads better

anavegan

🌱Vegan Low Cal Falafel🌱

These are only 14cal per ball! 6 makes a good portion and comes in at 84cal. Per weight they’re about a third of the calories of meatballs

Most falafel recipes include oil/flour/breadcrumbs/deep frying but this is a modifed recipe I’ve been experimenting with for a while

I make loads one go and freeze them, then cook from frozen in the oven/air fryer. This recipe makes 50-60.

🌱Ingredients🌱

2 cans of chickpeas in water (drained weight 480g) - 614cal

200g peas - 138cal

Lemon (zest and juice) - 11cal

6 garlic cloves - 12cal

30g fresh mint - 21cal

15g fresh parsley - 10cal

Red chilli - 6 cal

Salt, pepper, for seasoning

OPTIONAL: 4 tablespoons of a flour of your choice. Without the flour the falafels have a much more crumbly texture, but I usually leave it out because it saves calories

🌱Method🌱

Drain and rinse the chickpeas. Using a blender or potato masher, mash together the peas and the chickpeas. I get them fairly smooth but with some texture still

Chops up the herbs, garlic, and chilli finely. Add all the ingredients and mix it together.

The mixture should be firm and sticky, if it’s too dry then add some water. Use your hands to form the falafel into balls. I count how many I make and work out how many calories are in each.

Freeze them and then bake from frozen at 180 degrees for 10-12 mins.

I usually use them in salad bowls, in wraps, as a meat substitute in family dinners, or as a snack with low cal Greek yoghurt. They’re really nice!

🌱🌱🌱

poetrybody

No, I’m not craving for pizza, pasta or cake.

I’m craving for the outfits that I’ll wear.

I’m craving for the days that nobody won’t be able to make fun of me, or ignore me.

I’m craving for being the skinniest, smartest girl in the room.

I’m craving for being the first option for guys.

I’m craving for not to smell like garbage when I’m sweating.

I’m craving for jealous looks and words.

I’m craving for not to feel like a worthless whale.

I’m craving for being capable to wear anything and still look cute.

I’m craving for not to wear tons of makeup to not feel shit, to go outside with bare face without any doubt.

I’m craving for to look at my old photos with anybody in the future and hear them saying ‘You are so pretty!’

I’m craving for being the center of attention.

I’m craving for to eat something and not see the pitying eyes.

I’m craving for not to go shopping without thinking like ‘Would this fit me?’

I’m craving for not to being the fat girl with an eating disorder.

I’m craving for not seeing the pity eyes when someone sees me drinking or eating something ‘diet’ or ‘light’. (like diet coke or black coffee)

I’m craving for being an inspiration or others.

I’m craving for not to feel like a whore when I feel kinda horny.

I’m craving for the shocked eyes when people see me after a long time.

I’m craving for waking up, drinking my black coffee and feel like a fairy.

I’m craving for not to feel like a disco ball when I’m dancing.

I’m craving for looking good in anything I do.

I’m craving for being fully energetic without all that unnecessary ugly fat.

I’m craving for to not feeling guilty for existing.

I’m craving for being full of confident when I’m walking down the streets.

I’m craving for being a real life thinspiration.

I’m craving for hearing these words ‘Wow, you got so skinny!’

As you see, I’m craving for my own freedom.

Feel free to add..

honeyxthighs

hotteok: korean pancakes ~ 2 ways 🥞

♡ hotteok (korean pancake) is a popular street food in south korea, traditionally filled with a sweet cinnamon sugar and nut filling! but nowadays u can also find savoury options with vegetables, noodles, cheese, meat and more ~ i decided to try both kinds, this is a longg recipe sorryyyyy <3

hotteok recipe (makes 16)

cinnamon sugar hotteok (serves 8 = 65kcals per pancake)

vegetable yachae-hotteok (serves 8 = 50kcals per pancake)

𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤

pancake dough - (yield - 16 = 701kcals)

self raising flour (150g) - 564kcals

extra virgin olive oil (1tbsp) - 120kcals

low sodium salt (1/4tsp) - 0kcals

white sugar (1/2tsp) - 17kcals

water (8-12tbsp) - 0kcals

cinnamon sugar filling - (serves 8 = 171kcals)

soft light brown sugar (1tbsp) - 59kcals

cinnamon (1/4tsp) - 14kcals

flaked almonds (1.5tsp) - 98kcals

vegetable filling - (serves 13 = 82kcals)

red onion (1/4) - 15kcals

carrot (1 small) - 21kcals

tenderstem broccoli (2 twigs) - 21kcals

thin green chilli (1) - 4kcals

garlic (1 clove) - 4kcals

spring onion (1tbsp) - 3kcals

lemongrass (1tbsp) - 5kcals

low sodium soy sauce (2tbsp) - 9kcals

low sodium salt and pepper (pinch) - 0

note: the vegetable recipe makes enough filling for 13 pancakes; but the recipe only calls for 8 which means the filling = 48kcals

𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕕

in a mixing bowl, briefly stir together all of the dry ingredients for the dough

add in the oil, stir then start adding tablespoons of water until the dough starts to come together. take ur hands and continue to knead the dough together until there is no dry or wet mixture left in the bowl. cover the bowl with a tea towel and set it aside

now u can work on the vegetable filling ~ chop the brocolli into small bite size pieces (𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺𝘀), grate half of the carrot and chop the rest into bite sized pieces then wash the veg

add it to a small pot of boiling water and let it cook for a couple of minutes whilst you prepare the rest of the ingredients

finely dice and wash the red onion, as well as the green chilli, garlic, lemongrass and spring onion (𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘀𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲)

once cooked, drain the broccoli and carrots then leave aside. in the same pot, heat up a little bit of oil and fry the red onions until brown and soft. add in the garlic, chilli and cooked veg and fry again for a few more minutes

add the rest of the vegetable filling ingredients and keep stirring to make sure that it’s not too liquidy season with salt and pepper accordingly (𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵: 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘹𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴....𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘭)

leave the veg mixture to cool in the pot. for the sweet filling ~ add the sugar and cinnamon into a mug then crumble in the flaked almonds. stir to combine and make sure there’s no lumps of sugar

time to assemble! this part takes a while....split the dough in the middle and then cut 4 even lines (𝘀𝗽𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝟴) then split each segment into two again

flatten one segment, add a teaspoon of filling in the middle before gently pulling the edges into the centre. pinch the seams and roll into a ball shape (𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝟭𝟲 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲) photos shown below

heat up a frying pan either with oil or without (𝘪 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘥𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 1𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦) add 3-4 balls into the pan and flatten lightly, fry on each side until browned. flip once more then cover with a lid and steam for a minute or so (𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗼)

repeat this for all 16 and place them on a plate to cool for a few minutes

enjoy these warm as a dessert, snack or even part of a meal!

♡ this recipe was really fun to make, i tried to make this as low cal as possible and tbh i’m happy with it ~ the dough makes these more filling meaning it can be eaten as a small meal with perhaps meat or other veg (i had mines for dinner with veggie sausages) it did take a whiiile cause i let it rise for an hour even tho i didn’t have yeast in it lmao so i didn’t need to do that...i’m definitely gonna make these again but in a much smaller batch ♡

cr: 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘮.𝘤𝘰𝘮

fillings are my own adaptations

(𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦)

skinnyyclubb

twodreamy

for the anon who wanted pics of when i started losing weight and what i look like now

sirihowdoiheal

Ingredients: 1 tablespoon flour 1 tablespoon sweetener 1 tablespoon water

How to: Mix the ingredients together until you get a smooth batter. Put it in the microwave for 60 seconds and enjoy! It’s nice and fluffy and warm and I just love it. You can add cinnamon, lemon, cocoa powder, really whatever you want. It’ll probably add a few calories though.

Really comforting and safe, I felt a lot better after eating it (I was having a panic attack and was about to binge).

I was going to submit this to @star-ana-low-cal-recipes but it kept failing so whoops here ya go.

DISCLAIMER:: I am not a pro ana blog, I fully support recovery. I’m just trying to make myself food to eat without feeling panicky afterwards and having the potential to hurt myself out of guilt. I know a lot of other people go through the same, so I wanted to share and help them.

ourdreamsofskinny

THIS IS A FUCKING LIFESAVER IT’S SO GOOD

And my sister came in while I was making one and asked for one.

I made it for her, but with real sugar, I put some sprinkles in it, and she loved it oh my god try this pleasee

grown-ass-adult-with-an-ed

Ok first of all hell yeah. Second, I also tried to make a garlic roll using this method and it totally worked

1tbsp flour ~2 tbsp water (until you get a batter with some chunks ) Garlic salt & any other spices you want Microwave 60 seconds Boom- 25 calorie garlic roll