Sometimes I just look at my dog and think, “you’re going to break my heart so bad one day.”

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@msangelikaa
Sometimes I just look at my dog and think, “you’re going to break my heart so bad one day.”
I stopped smoking but I’m back at it again cuz life/work beating my a$$
damn. it’s been a minute since i’ve posted anything on here.
well, where do i begin? i’m 25 pounds lighter since November 2025. turning 30 in January, i’ve decided to prioritize my health more. my body DOES NOT function how it used to when i was 20. knees and back aching, can’t hang after 9 pm, sleep wrong once and you feel that shit for days. i’ve come to a point where i decided enough is enough. i saw 300 pounds on the scale and thought “hell no”. enough is enough. i scheduled an appointment for the doctor’s (and if you know me, i loathe going to the doctors. i have an irrational fear i’ll be diagnose with a chronic or fatal illness.) anyway, at that point i said something has to give so i started moving my body more and eating cleaner. as a filipino, eating better is hard af but hey, i guess i’m doing something right if i lost weight, right? nonetheless, i’m so proud of myself. i plan to keep doing until i reach my weight goal which is 250 (for now). almost there! i’m at 271 right now. i definitely see the difference, i feel it too. i have more energy than usual— i don’t need naps as much. and i don’t feel sluggish or like shit all time. that’s more than enough motivation to keep fucking going.
but it’s cool here i suppose, i mean being 30. i admire my growth and i’m thankful for the experiences in my 20s that molded me into the phenomenal woman i am today. it’s been a wild ride for sure but i wouldn’t change a thing. i strongly believe i’m exactly where i’m supposed to be. hmm, what are some other changes? oh. i finally got my $5 raise at work :) work’s cool, still stresses me out but i need a vacation asap.
it’s currently 10:41 pm and i need some sleep before work. prob going to write more often cause this felt nice. toodles!
it’s crazy to think I was planning my future wedding..
times like this i really wish i had an older sister
Submitted my application for the Dental Hygiene program and I’m super anxious. FINGERS CROSSED!
and 4 years later, here i am practicing for over a year. january 19 makes two years 🤍
People are so disappointing.
No beef. Just distancing myself.
8312023
I adopted a puppy in April :) I named him Rocky and he's a maltipoo. I've never been happier <3
032823
Life update:
For the most part, I’ve been pretty happy :) some days are definitely harder than others but overall, I couldn’t be happier.
Work is great; been there for 2 months now. I work with some of the best human beings. Monthly, we create goals for ourselves whether it’s personal or for the office’s production and I’m accomplishing both! The two years I spent in dental hygiene school are definitely paying off. Finally being financially stable is such a huge blessing.
I’ve been single for about 7 months now and I’m finally ok with it. Again, some days are harder than others but I eventually get over it. I tried dating for a month and realized I needed to be alone. Some things still trigger my toxic habits and I think it’s best I address and heal before getting myself involved with someone else. Besides, men are annoying. Definitely enjoying my solitude for a long time and doing whatever the hell makes me happy. :)
BLAAAAAAAHHHH
That’s how I’m feeling right now on a Saturday night.
Life update
It has been a while since I wrote something on here. A lot has also happened since then. The holidays were great. I spent so much time with family and honestly it was much needed. I wasn’t sad thankfully. I thought I would be since the holidays were our thing..
As of today I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been. Since my last date in October (which was fucking horrible) I deleted all dating apps on my phone and it was the best decision during this healing journey. I don’t have anyone else to worry about. I don’t anticipate an argument during the day. It’s just peaceful. I’m not gonna lie, I still think about you. Since New Year, I have been applying to new dental offices and had interviews. Last week, I toured a dental office in Chespeake with the district manager and it was kind of nerve-wracking. But it did end up well! She considered hiring me. I got in the car and almost called you. I got so used to you being my biggest supporter throughout my academic and work career, till this day I still have to remind myself you aren’t my “person” anymore. It sucks but it gets easier to just brush shit off.
Ever since I found out you cheated years ago, I don’t look at you the same anymore. But oddly enough, you have this place in my heart.. I mean, we did spend 4 years together.
Anyway.. I have an interview tomorrow and thursday that I’m pretty nervous about. I aced my first one Monday and they scheduled a working interview for Monday! This year seems promising and I can’t wait to see what’s in store.
I think the hardest part about healing and moving on is forgiving yourself..
I let so much shit slide bro. Never a-fucking-gain.
3 month update
It has now been 3 months.. I’m feeling a lot happier. Some days are harder than others but I am definitely crying a lot less. I’m not sure if I’m just numb to everything but I can definitely say I’m better.
I forgive you. I’m still upset with what you did, but nonetheless, I forgive you. I hope you are doing better too..
You could’ve left me alone.
Nobody talks about the psychological effects of getting cheated on. The self loathing. The guilt. The questioning of your own self worth. It’s a lot. I will never understand how you can touch another person intimately and come back to your significant other, look at them straight in the eyes, and say you love them.