It's been a min, Tumblr..but ughhh, took this pic today while getting ready for work and I can't help but be disgusted with myself.

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@msbigbeautiful
It's been a min, Tumblr..but ughhh, took this pic today while getting ready for work and I can't help but be disgusted with myself.
Soooo, ummm this is the gentleman I hung out with last night. And I believe that's all it ever will be, is just hanging out, if we ever do again. He's a nice funny guy and all, but ummm idk, just something. He's into drugs, and not hardcore drugs, but like pills and stuff. Only thing I do is smoke weed and that's the only thing he doesn't do lol. But not going to lie, I took some and ahhh I don't remember driving home and when I woke up I couldn't walk right lol. Not saying he's a bad influence, bc for one I didn't have to take them. I did it on my own, but I think next time I'll just stick to my alcohol. On another note, you see how good looking he is? Hahah uffff! Oh another thing, he lives with his children's mother, so there goes that chance of anything happening with us.
Okay, I been talking on and off with this guy I met through FB. We have a few mutual friends so I know he's a real person. He lives like 15 mins away from me. And I don't understand his constant push of wanting to meet me, basically bc I feel he's too good looking for me lol. I mean, I know I should give myself more credit and it's not always about looks. He always tells me that how I feel about myself doesn't mean that's how he's going to feel about me. He's been trying to meet up with me for a lil while now and I've always just found excuses not to. But tonight, we're finally going to meet up. We're just gonna kick back, have some drinks and talk, get to know each other. Not going to lie, I'm super super super fucking shy lol and nervous. He told me that he's nobody to be shy over. But it's just something I can't help. And I'm nervous as well, that he's not gonna like what he sees, even thoo he already knows how I look through pictures. Idk, I'm so negative. I fear the worse and that to me would be that he sees me and is just disgusted. I am a big girl and he's told me he has no problem with that, that he likes big girl. And he calls me beautiful and gorgeous pretty much all the time. Idk, I guess just gotta see how things will go. This will be the 2nd guy I've ever met up with lol. I just can't help but be nervous. I'm tryna be positive, but it's a bit hard. He's just so fine to me, it's like why are you so bent on wanting to meet me? Of all people, me? I'm quite flattered, I must say lol. But I guess I will give an update later on how it went.
I love my fat mermaid 😍😍😍
You can’t move on if you don’t let yourself embrace the pain and let pain kiss ever part of your skin. You can’t move on if you don’t help yourself to stand up and spread your wings. You can’t move on if you don’t let yourself explore and wander the places this world can offer to you. You can’t move on if you don’t help yourself to rebuild your walls and remove the pieces that were scattered around you. You can’t move on if you don’t help yourself to open up your heart, your soul to someone’s ready to catch you. Let yourself fall- it’s a wonderful experience.
(via baekebyan)
Rural road
NOTE TO SELF: Drink more water, stay productive, block out any negativity, keep grinding. Stay executing your goals this week.
i want to cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle
Don't get me wrong..it's great seeing others happy. I love seeing others happy. It's just, when will I be happy? I want my happiness. I want the smile that I put on everyday to be real. Being unhappy really sucks. I lay here in this bed with a hurt so deep in my chest and trying so hard to hold back the tears....I just want to be happy.
Your metabolisms reaction to treating it right
Breakfast: what a great start, thank fuck I don't have to start the day in a panic, now I know I have what I need to not have to hold onto anything that comes my way, and I can start focusing on functioning properly
Snack: alright, thanks a lot, I'm glad I trusted you. Another snack came my way and I was able to continue giving you the best possible energy I can deliver
Lunch: gee I needed this, I've been working for a while and need to maintain my hard work. Thanks for feeding me, I'll be able to carry on
Snack: thank you dear
Dinner: hell fucking yeah fish and chips how did you know that's exactly the amount of protein and carbs and fat I needed. Oh? You listened to your cravings? Great! we're really close he always knows what I need
Snack: I'm getting tired but I'm going to have to keep working whilst you sleep, so you still need to fuel me. Until the morning old chum!
personal reminder: stop being so fucking hard on yourself
Make this!!
Roasted cabbage topped with lotssssss of bacon and cheese.
Peel a cabbage until the dirty layers are gone and rinse it well. Pat it dry. Preheat the oven to 400. Cut it into thick chunks - if the chunks aren’t thick enough the cabbage comes apart. Place the slices on a baking sheet and brush with oil- I used Italian olive oil and salt and pepper (both sides). Put in the oven for a hour, flipping it over after 30 minutes. At about 20 minutes left, I cut up a package of bacon and crisped that up in a skillet. When the cabbage is done, top with bacon and cheese and put back in the oven for 5 minutes.
This was a win.
I fell
I fell.
I fell off my diet.
I fell out of motivation.
I fell out of touch.
I fell far away from goals.
I fell, hard.
I will find my goals,
I will find my motivation,
I will keep my touch.
I will stay true to my diet.
I will rise again.