Random Thoughts: Aww snap, remember these? lol
I know right! Like, yall probably thought I forgot how to write these. Thanks to the magic that is Facebook memories, I was reminded of how extremely helpful these were to me in the past. Self-reflection has helped me grow, heal & give myself some hard truths. These randoms are brought to you in part by January 2018 feeling like the longest YEAR ever (someone on Twitter said that & I felt it on a spiritual level) lol & by perspective: the mental yoga.ย
1. Well January feels like a complete blurr. New city, new car, new apartment, job, new challenges. Oh, the challenges! I told a friend recently that I feel like I have been chasing a level ofย โcomfortโ for some years now & every time I feel like Iโm getting closer,ย a bomb comes & blows it all to pieces. Thereโs the constantย โstarting overโ thing that, although can be exciting & liberating, also makes me feel anxious, overwhelmed & somewhat disappointed in myself. Like, Iโll never really get to a place where I can comfortably provide for myself. Anxiety: something that my 30s didnโt tell me was included in myย โgetting olderโ package. I also always hoped Iโd be doing life with a partner by now which I can admit, makes me feel sad & a bit lonely at times. I do fight the,ย โLord, this would be so much easier if I didnโt have to do it myself.โ But Iโm learning about perspective & really trying not to focus on theย โwhysโ as ,much as theย โokay Drรฉ, HOW are we going to make it happen.โWhatever theย โitโ is. I also have to remind myself that Iโm never really alone & take comfort in that.ย
2. Perspective: The Mental Yoga- I literally just came up with that now. lol Soย ย ย ย yea, my work life is a little more complicated than expected. Iโm doing my best to navigate both the familiar & unfamiliar terrain & trusting that this experience will teach me everything God is looking for me to learn. Jesus be some patience & the rightย โchessโ moves.ย
3. Itโs Black History Month aka Black Panther Movie Month aka Iโm about to be living my most unapologetically proud to be a Black Woman life! Like, really. Like REALLY! I just want to step into my super powers b/c I am my ancestorโs wildest dreams.ย
4. Iโll be 33 next month. Apparently 33 is a symbolic number.ย Google told meย โThe number 3 refers to the Trinity, and means that you are receiving divine protection, help, and guidance. In most cases, if you are seeing a lot of 3s, this is an Angel Number sign that you have a close connection to Jesus, the son in the Holy Trinity. 33 means that Jesus is with you and helping you.โโฆ.Hmmm, well alrighty then! Iโll take it.ย
5. YALL, BLACK PANTHER IS GOING TO BE AMAZING! ITโS HERE, LIKE ITโS REALLY HERE! ITโS REALLY TIME! IโM NOT READY, BUT IโM SO READY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!ย
6. Los Angeles is my new home & so far I absolutely love it. I love the weather, I love the energy & somewhat surprisingly, I really love how nice everyone I have met has been. Iโm also extremely grateful for the amount of folks that I already know that are here. Through those people, Iโve already met some amazing new people. The sayingย โit takes a villageโ doesnโt just apply to raising children. I think your village keeps you sane & covers you. Iโm so grateful for mine, at home & in EVERY place Iโve ever lived. This place makes me want more & want to give more to the world. LA, whatโs up?ย
7. I walked by an extremely attractive man & didnโt say anything yesterday. Like I was walking out of church & saw a man that I shouldโve at the very least said,ย โhelloโ orย โgood morning,โ to & instead, I looked down & kept walking. I declare that in this here year of 2018, I will do better & stop acting like the little girl who got called anย โugly bitchโ in 8th grade. I am not that. Iโm actually pretty fly & I will walk in that, no matter what! Just b/c others didnโt choose me, doesnโt mean Iโm not worthy. #Perspective
8. DID I MENTION THAT BLACK PANTHER IS COMING! LIKE WEโRE ONE WEEK AWAY. What are yall wearing?ย
9. Dear Lord, donโt allow this place to shrink me. I donโt want to take all of the work I did before this & have it crushed under insecurities, fear & doubt. You brought me here for a reason & I just want to live out your purpose.ย
10. I promise to be more consistent with these again. They may take on another form but yea, I miss doing these. #RandomThoughts