It's My Freedom @msinevitable - Tumblr Blog

Leukemia.

Today has been a nightmare. My father now has leukemia in addition to metastatic prostate cancer. Doesn't look good. I'm a wreck. Because of his age, they don't treat it aggressively. He will now have two oncologists.. one for each type of cancer. I'm a fucking mess.

Why is it i have to bawl my eyes out every year .. the night before my birthday

Tonight i just cry. White noise machine and fan won't drown me out. Just endless tears

Tonight i cried because of you

Survived November 17th

It's time to go away.

You choose not to reply further. That was your choice. You said no effort was invested from you.. still no effort, nothing. That's it?

I gotta stop giving into those old feelings. Things aren't the same. He knows it. I know it. What's the use of trying to hold on? It's a battle and fucked up cycle. Things are great for a couple weeks then BOOM lack of communication and barely seeing each other. We aren't 18 anymore. I can't keep this up. Comparing everyone else to him is fucking killing me. I'll always love him. Can't I say I was IN love with him. I've lost a lot through this, but I've gained plenty. Less than 2 months until my birthday and I've gained a whole new attitude on life. Today I told him I choose not to be who I was before. It's all strange. Used to think this was what I wanted. Even took him on a "romantic" getaway, as our friends put it and it wasn't what I'd hoped for. That weekend he was amazing to me. Never felt more wanted, but all good things must come to an end. It's cuffing season, think it's time to say goodbye.

Crying to the point where I'm barfing

that was awfully cowardly

Sad

Today my Unify to Thrive bracelet broke. I'm heartbroken

Was told tonight:

An aura floats around you. Even when something bad happens, you find positives. You bring people UP. You make everyone smile and feel like they matter.

Damn. Thank you 🌛

When someone acts like an idiot and disrespects the person who's house you are at.. things are for sure all bad. That was a nightmare. Keep your mouth shut.

Chemo phase 3 of 4

For dad Tuesday. Positive thoughts needed.