Xiumin: Sleepy drunk, he’d lean on one of the other members, slurring out everyone’s secrets. “Jongdae hid Yixing’s insoles in Yunho hyung’s studio last week… And Taeyeon noona thought she was babysitting Baek the first time they went out.”
Luhan: Standing up on the table, the others have to keep him from stripping as he dances, loudly singing along to anything… though not with the right lyrics. “Hey, I just smelled you and you’re crazy, but here’s my number, so call me daddy!”
Kris: Flailing around losing his balance as he refuses to take anyone’s arm for support. “Nah, let me go. I’m fighting monsters cuz Tao’s too scared of them!” He’d brandish one of the cocktail umbrellas at the imaginary monsters.
Suho: “Boys, be good while mommy’s calling her ex!” He’d repeatedly call Kris, even if he’s in the same room, leaving voice messages and swaying in his seat. “I swear, if your next girlfriend or boyfriend looks half as good as I do in a dress, I will SHANK THEM!”
Lay: “When you think about it, couldn’t we all be like little dolls in a little doll house to move around and be played with by some omniscient omnipotent being out there?” He’d stir his glass thoughtfully, unaware that no one is actually listening.
Baekhyun: “I can’t feel my nose! Yeol! Is my nose still there?! Oh my god - I can’t feel anything! Quick, someone tell me if my ghost is super hot or just really hot.” He’d pose. eventually passing out with his cheek on the table, drooling.
Chen: “I feel absolutely nothing - what the hell makes you think I’m drunk?” When they point out to him that he was trying to use pick-up lines on a poster of a soju bottle, he’d get confused. “Nope, I don’t think so.” As he downs another shot.
Chanyeol: Crying leaning on Kai’s shoulder and nodding intermittently at everything he says. “You’re so wonderful. I love all you guys so much. I don’t understand how anyone could be an anti.” His nose is running and his eyes are red and he keeps hugging everyone.
DO: Very quietly sitting at the table, sticking the screen protector on and off his phone, polishing the screen to make it perfect without any air bubbles, getting more and more visibly frustrated. “Oh, come on. It’s one bubble, if you can’t even do this much, you’re worthless!”
Tao: “Why on earth did you think that you could wear that shirt with those Prada shoes when I know you have Gucci! I swear to god, I want to claw my eyes out!” He’d shout over the music as he tries to dance along to the beat, failing miserably.
Kai: After babbling nonsense while he’s moving from tipsy to drunk, he becomes starts whining. “Hyung, no one sees me as more than abs and hip rolls! They want my body but not my mind! I’m Jongin not Kai!” While he’s having his existential crisis, Suho would pat him on the back.
Sehun: “NYOOOM!” He goes running around the table holding his arms out eventually tripping over one of Chanyeol’s long legs and ending up sprawled over their laps, he looks up at them, seriously pissed off. “Alright! Which one of you jokers has the kryptonite?”
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