he’s on the cover of the fucking game.

i have a big fat lesbian crush on laura stacey. follows from @harnarius call me hannah or harn. 27, they/them

[mucho-smasho]

Ilya Rozanov: The NHL’s Bisexual Fairy Godmother

Rated T | 3.3k | Crack | Set after the Long Game

Shane just wants to have a normal experience his first time visiting the Kingfisher. When his husband wanders off to have a strangely deep conversation with a rookie, Shane is very quickly made aware of a few things: 1) Ilya is responsible for setting up nearly every queer couple in the NHL. 2) Shane has somehow ended up in a booth with all of his prior victims, and 3) they can predict how this exchange is going to go down so accurately that they have a checklist.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85286956

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[avantgarden-er]

my mutual: eloquent big brain post about sexuality

me in their comments: wait my boner right now…..

[lypsys]

"Write character relationships that are normal" WRONG ☝ CODEPENDENCY BEAM 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[tvuniverse]

HEATED RIVALRY -> 1x03 | Hunter

[loontattoo]

those big strong silly boys are always doing some weird shit with their bodies together. shane is attempting squats while ilya is clinging to his back. they're sprinting as fast as they can while barefoot on the grass at the cottage just to see who can run 100 metres the fastest. they're climbing trees and doing back flips off the dock. they're taking turns tackling each other and seeing who can hold their ground the longest. ilya's flexing his abs and telling shane to hit him as hard as he can in the stomach ("I'm not going to hit you as hard as I can" "oh my god you are so boring"). and well, of course the wrestling,

[ilyasmole]

i'm pleakin out

[ilyasmole]

@icefrozenground Beautiful Addition

[deedala]

✩₊˚.⋆sveta⋆⁺₊✧

[loontattoo]

connor storrie being presented with a list of new words to learn in russian for season two

depression

bisexual

fix me fix me fix me

treacherous burden

suicide

tomato

[summerhalder]

i think ilya should be licking champagne and doing bodyshots off shane after their first cup win together

[compatiblehollanov]

Ilya has the vibes of a man who’s never mowed a lawn in his life, but Shane absolutely was taught how by David & usually pays a guy cause he’s always training or traveling but sometimes when he has the time and the weather’s nice he’ll go out and do it himself cause he finds it calming

[probablily]

hollanov at the club together for their first time after being outed can be so important actually

[probablily]

crucially i think it feels like sex. the idea of everyone knowing theyre in love feels scandalous. shanes hand on the small of ilya back, the two of the pressed together. its exposing and they're both hard about it

[lavenderprose]

Shane in the locker room of any given All Star Game after he and Ilya get married and are playing on opposing teams for the weekend: If we don't beat those guys I will actually spend the rest of my life thinking about it. This is your only chance to prove to me that you belong in the NHL. This is not a friendly game, this is a grudge match to the death. I want you all to lock in like you have never fucking locked in--

Meanwhile, Ilya: Woohoo boys let's play some fucking hockey [Timber by Pitbull blasting at full volume]

Cliff Marleau, probably: Hollander's gonna kill you in cold blood, man.

Ilya: Cliff. Cliff let me look in your eyes when I say this. I know. I will enjoy it very much. My night ends the same whether I win or lose, Marley. Anyway. [Song switches to Party Rock Anthem] LET'S MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT BOYS. WOO

Cliff: Dude what is this playlist.

Ilya: It is called 'Prom Night 2013.' Was a good year for me, Marley.

[avantgarden-er]

1. How can i make this about my pussy

2. How can i make this about hollanov

2a. How can i make this hollanov about my pussy

[hudconvent]

after boston wins the stanley cup cliff and ilya kiss with tongue but nobody thinks anything of it cuz theyre just like that

[shillanov]

tits out on titty thursday for titlya rozanov

[blushingrozy]

[ilyasmole]

have we considered that heated rivalry airs on thursday nights (depending on your location)....we will literally be pleaked up every thursday during season 2....

[ilyasmole]

what was your HR watch-style during season 1 as it was airing?

stayed up late to watch it

watched it the next morning

watched it the next evening after work/school/etc

waited several days to watch

secret fifth answer/nuance (explain below)

Remaining time: 16 hours 59 minutes