THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY PILOT SCRIPT STARTERS;
quotes that have been yoinked from the scrapped pilot script of gerard way’s the umbrella academy. some things have been altered on my end, feel free to change things on yours.
“everyone was taking bets on whether you’d show.”
“are we supposed to… how’s this go?”
“you’re seriously going to defend him/her/them? after what he/she/they did?”
“and you have this… why?”
“so you’re checking the doors and windows for… fun?”
“why are you doing this, [name]?”
“everything i own is black.”
“is it weird that i find that strangely comforting?”
“question. will there be food?”
“wait, sorry, i wasn’t listening. what?”
“but there’s definitely no food?”
“you’re not supposed to be down here.”
“you always were a stubborn bastard.”
“i don’t know! do you have a better idea?”
“um… running? i vote for running?”
“you look ridiculous, by the way.”
“that makes no sense.”
“well, it would if you were smarter.”
“what are you doing?”
“it’s called a hug.”
“you did ask what i’m doing…?”
“well, then. i wasn’t doing anything. at all.”
(halfheartedly) “yeah, no, stop it….”
“i’m leaving. by myself.”
“lovely. i’ll get my things.”
“i’ve been eating speed for the last three days, and every time i close my eyes i see centipedes.”
“for the love of christ, tell me there’s coffee somewhere.”
“do you even know how to drive?”
“i know how to do everything.”
“get me a goddamned cup of coffee or i’ll burn this place to the ground…please.”
“is that supposed to be a joke?
“this doesn’t have to get messy.”
“i really can’t get rid of you, can i?”
“i figured… what the hell.”
“i’d like to point out that i was promised waffles, and thus far, waffles have not been forthcoming.”
“you should have locks on your windows.”
“oh my god. is that blood?”
“don’t worry, it’s not mine.”
“i’ve decided that you’re the only one i can trust.”