𝐍𝐨 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 || 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝 ||
A/n: I did it!! Not gonna lie, teared up a little writing this.
American!Reader / Reader has ADHD
Meeting the Queen of England was, according to James Bond, an event that required a certain level of dignity.
You had promised him you would be dignified.
For the first ten minutes, everything had gone perfectly.
You had been polite, charming, and surprisingly composed despite the fact that you were standing inside one of the most famous palaces in the world. James had actually felt proud watching you converse with Her Majesty. Your American accent was warm and friendly, your smile genuine, and somehow you managed to put even members of the royal staff at ease.
James saw the exact moment disaster struck.
The small dog trotted into the room with all the confidence of a creature that knew it was royalty.
The Queen was still speaking when you gasped.
Actually gasped, full on hands to your lips as your as grew wide. “Oh my God.”
James immediately knew he was in trouble.
You crouched before anyone could stop you.
“Oh my God, look at you,” you whispered in complete awe. “You’re so tiny.”
You looked like you had just met a celebrity.
The next several minutes became a blur of you completely forgetting you were standing in Buckingham Palace. You were talking to the dog, praising the dog, asking if the dog wanted belly rubs, and somehow ended up sitting on the floor while the corgi climbed into your lap.
At one point, James distinctly remembered hearing you tell the dog that he was “the most important little potato in Britain.”
Several staff members looked horrified.
James wanted the floor to swallow him whole.
By the time the visit finally ended, you were happily waving goodbye to the corgi while James walked beside you with the expression of a man who had aged ten years.
The drive home was silent.
You didn’t notice at first, no you were still smiling, wide. “Did you see his little ears?” you asked happily. “James, his ears were—”
The words hit like a slap, your throat tightened as your smile vanished.
James stared out the window. “I asked you to behave appropriately.”
The excitement drained from your face, your fingers digging into your skirt. "Oh.”
“You acted like a child.”
The moment the sentence left his mouth, part of him regretted it.
You simply turned toward the window and the rest of the drive passed in silence.
The apartment felt unusually quiet when they arrived.
James removed his jacket and loosened his tie, still irritated with the situation and even more irritated with himself.
He told himself he had every right to be annoyed.
Meeting the Queen wasn’t supposed to become an impromptu playdate with a royal dog.
Yet as the minutes passed, something felt wrong.
The apartment was too quiet.
No random commentary about pigeons or dogs or whatever had captured your attention that day.
Frowning, James walked toward the bedroom.
The sight that greeted him immediately made his stomach drop.
A suitcase sat open on the bed.Clothes were scattered across the mattress.You were stuffing things into the case with frantic movements.
James stopped in the doorway. “What are you doing?”
For a second, neither of you spoke.
Then you zipped the suitcase shut with shaking hands.
James noticed your shoulders trembling.
The realization hit him like a punch.
Slowly, you turned around.Your eyes were red, your cheeks were wet.
The sight immediately extinguished every bit of irritation he still possessed.
“I’m going home to see my parents.”Your voice cracked halfway through the sentence.You wiped furiously at your eyes.
The movement hurt more than he expected.
“I don’t want to embarrass you.”The words came out small and broken.You looked absolutely devastated. “I try really hard, James.” You were quiet as it cracked.
His chest tightened. “I know.”
A tear rolled down your cheek. “You don’t.”
You hugged yourself. “I really do try.”
Nothing came out.Because suddenly he remembered every time you had worried about being too loud.
Every moment you second-guessed yourself because your mind moved faster than everyone else’s.
And today, instead of reassuring you, he had confirmed every fear you’d ever had.
You laughed weakly through your tears.“It was a corgi.” Your voice wobbled. “A royal corgi.” Another tear slipped free. “I thought she liked me.”
James felt physically ill.
Because the Queen had liked you.
The Queen had been laughing.
The only person who had truly been upset was him.
And now you looked heartbroken.
You grabbed the suitcase handle. “I’m gonna go stay with my parents for a little while...I think it's for the best." Your body hunched.
You shook your head. “I don’t want to embarrass you anymore....You are an MI6 agent and I'm....I'm just some loud American." The sentence was barely above a whisper.
Then, before James could find the words he desperately needed, you walked past him.
And just like that, the apartment fell silent.
James remained standing in the bedroom doorway.
The silence felt deafening.
His gaze drifted toward the empty hallway where you had disappeared. Then he lowered himself onto the edge of the bed and buried a hand across his mouth.
Because the moment the door had closed, he realized something awful.
You hadn’t embarrassed him at all.
You had simply been yourself.
And he had just made the woman he loved cry for it.
James had attended hundreds of meetings throughout his career.
Meetings with foreign dignitaries.
Meetings with intelligence chiefs.
Meetings with military commanders.
None of them had ever frightened him quite as much as walking back into Buckingham Palace after making the colossal mistake of sending the woman he loved back to Texas in tears.
The guilt had followed him for days.
Every room in his flat felt empty.Every meal tasted bland.Even the silence seemed different.
You weren’t there humming to yourself while making coffee. You weren’t leaving little notes around the apartment. You weren’t getting distracted halfway through conversations because a pigeon had landed outside the window.
The apartment didn’t feel like home anymore.
It felt like a building....suffocating.
Which was precisely why James looked more exhausted than usual when he entered the Queen’s private sitting room.
Her Majesty looked up immediately.
The first thing she asked wasn’t about intelligence reports.
It wasn’t about security matters.
Instead, she smiled and asked, “Where is your delightful young lady?”
The question hit James like a brick.
His expression tightened, his jaw twitched, nails biting into his palm.
The Queen noticed immediately and the Queen wanted answers. "Oh dear.”
James stared at the floor. “She flew home.”
The smile vanished from Her Majesty’s face, her head only tilting to the side a fraction. "Home?”
For a brief moment he considered lying.
Then he remembered exactly who he was speaking to.
He explained his frustration.
He explained the drive home.
Every terrible decision he’d made.
The room grew increasingly silent.Dangerously silent.
When he finally finished speaking, the Queen simply stared at him.
James knew that look.It was the look people got right before disaster struck.
“What,” she asked very slowly, “did you just say?"
James immediately wished he could disappear, he considered jumping out a window." “Your Majesty.."
The slap came so fast he barely saw it.
His head snapped sideways.
Several security officers visibly flinched.
One looked like he was trying desperately not to laugh.
James blinked then worked his jaw.
The Queen lowered her hand. “You idiot.”
James straightened automatically. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
“You upset that poor girl over my corgi?”
The Queen looked genuinely offended. “Do you have any idea how much I adored that girl?”
James opened his mouth only to close it when he noticed the Queen pointed a finger directly at him.
“She called him a royal potato.”
The Queen looked ready to slap him again.
“I laughed for three days.”
James stared at the carpet.
“We are going to fix this.”
“Pardon…” James head snapped up, his voice faltered. “We?”
“Well, of course we.” The Queen placed her hands in front of her. “You are not going to sully my name because of your incompetence.”
James felt about sixteen years old.
“That poor girl.” She whispered to herself as her Majesty shook her head. "You are a double-oh.”
The Queen fixed him with a look that could have frozen lava. "On the way, you will be giving her a puppy.”
James blinked. “....A puppy?”
“A puppy..one of mine had a few, you will find a suitable one for her."
“And then you will get on your knees.”
James closed his eyes. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
“And beg for forgiveness.”
The Queen folded her arms. “If you even deserve it.”
James sighed. “…Yes, Your Majesty.”
Three days later, a private aircraft landed in Texas.
Which was how James Bond found himself standing outside a sprawling ranch while the Queen’s security detail watched the situation unfold with increasing concern.
The puppy in his arms yawned.
James wished he were somewhere else.
The front door opened and then a large man stepped outside.
James had faced terrorists.
None of them looked as frightening as the man currently staring at him.
Recognition flashed across your father’s face, shock, then pure fury.
The punch arrived without warning.
Several armed protection officers tensed immediately.
Your father pointed directly at Bond. “You got a lotta nerve comin’ here.”
Frankly, he felt he’d earned that.
Behind him, the Queen watched with visible approval.
Your father wasn’t finished. “After breakin’ my little bumble bee’s heart.Sweetheart! Get my gun!”
James winced though his head snapped up the moment he mentioned a gun.
The front door burst open again.
Your mother appeared carrying a shotgun. “I got it, darlin’!”
Every security officer immediately looked horrified.
The Queen looked fascinated.
Your father cracked his knuckles.
James briefly considered whether getting punched again might actually be preferable.
Then movement caught his eye.You stepped onto the porch.The moment he saw you, everything else disappeared.
The ranch suddenly felt very quiet.
Your eyes widened, then narrowed, the hurt was still there.
That hurt nearly broke him, because he didn't even know if he deserved you now.
James carefully set the puppy down.
The tiny thing immediately waddled toward you.
Your expression faltered. “Oh.”
The puppy reached your boots and rolled onto its back.
Then James did something he had never done for any king, politician, intelligence chief, or military commander.
He got down on both knees.
Your father looked startled.Your mother lowered the shotgun slightly.
Even the Queen appeared satisfied.
James looked directly at you.
His voice was rough, completely sincere.“I was completely and utterly wrong.”
Your eyes began to water, your lip trembled lightly as James continued.
“Meeting Her Majesty wasn’t important.” He shook his head. “No.” A painful laugh escaped him.“You were important.”
The tears in your eyes grew.
“I made you feel like being yourself was something bad.” His throat tightened. “It isn’t.” He looked down for a moment then back up at you. “You could never embarrass me.”
His voice cracked slightly.
The puppy climbed into your lap.
“You make every room brighter the moment you walk into it...." James swallowed hard.“The apartment felt empty without you...it felt like the warmth was sucked from it.”
The confession came easier than expected.
“I couldn’t sleep.” He laughed softly. “I kept looking for you.”
A tear slid down your cheek.
James looked absolutely miserable. “I missed your voice.I missed your laugh.” His eyes softened. “I missed you.”
The ranch had become completely silent. Even your father had stopped glaring.
James drew a slow breath. "You loved that corgi because it made you happy.” He shook his head then swallowed. “And instead of loving that about you, I made you cry.”
The guilt in his voice was unmistakable.
“I am so sorry.” His eyes never left yours. “You deserve better than what I gave you that day.”
The words hung between you.
And for perhaps the first time in his entire life, James Bond looked less like Britain’s greatest spy and more like a man desperately hoping the woman he loved might forgive him.
For a long moment, you simply stood there holding the puppy against your chest.
The tiny thing had somehow fallen asleep in your arms despite the chaos surrounding it. Your mother was still clutching her shotgun. Your father still looked like he was debating whether James deserved another punch. Half the royal protection detail appeared deeply confused about how their assignment had turned into a relationship intervention on a Texas ranch.
Because James was still kneeling in the dirt.
Just hoping that you would come home to him, that you will still love him.
Your eyes burned as you looked at him. "You really flew all the way to Texas?”
A faint smile touched his face. “The Queen ordered me to.”
That startled a laugh out of you.The tension in James’s shoulders eased immediately at the sound.
You shook your head. "Only you could get relationship advice from the Queen of England.”
“To be fair,” James admitted, rubbing the side of his jaw, “she also slapped me.”
Your father muttered, “Good.”
Your mother nodded in agreement.
You couldn’t help smiling.Then your gaze returned to James.The smile faded into something softer, something warmer.
“You really hurt my feelings."
James immediately lowered his eyes. “I know.”
“I thought you were ashamed of me.”
The pain in his expression was immediate.“Never...I could never be ashamed of you.”His answer came so quickly there wasn’t even a second of hesitation, the sincerity in his voice made your chest ache.
You stared at him for another moment before finally sighing.
Then you stepped forward.
James looked up just as you wrapped your free arm around his shoulders.
For a second he simply froze. Then his arms closed around your waist so tightly it was almost desperate.
You felt him exhale against your stomach.Like he’d been holding that breath for days.
“I forgive you,” you whispered.
James closed his eyes. Relief washed across his face so visibly it made your heart squeeze. When he finally looked up at you again, his expression was softer than you’d ever seen it.
You leaned down and kissed his forehead.
Behind you, your father pointed a warning finger at Bond. “I’m still watchin’ you.”
James, still holding onto you as though afraid you’d disappear again, nodded immediately.
The Queen, watching from nearby, looked thoroughly pleased with herself.
“Excellent,” she announced. “Now that that’s settled, may I pet the puppy?”
