So uh today's undertales 10th birthday, woohoo! Idk what to write. I don't normally celebrate anniversaries, but I just thought I could try to describe how undertale changed my life forever.
I had never really been exposed to videogames with intricate stories and memorable dialogue at the time, so undertale was revolutionary in my eyes. I know that sounds silly, but that was a huge moment for me. I was in my tweens seemingly recovered from the worst years of my life at the time. I was obsessed with the idea of videogame lore, and undertale was just the gift that kept on giving. The many endings, the character development of beloved npcs, the meta narrative about a players relationship to a game, I learned just about EVERYTHING about this game. I think the only thing I never memorized was all the endings. Primarily bc I was one of those no genocide run kids or whatever. I didn't comment or anything, I just didn't like the run.
But the fandom was both a blessing, and torture for my OCD. On one hand, there were comics that explored all sorts of potential stories, alternate universes/timelines, had all sorts of goofy bits and gags galore. On the other crusty side of the coin I went through self inflicted hell after being flash banged by horny pictures of my favorite short skeleton, and the shipping, ages up frisk stuff was really upsetting to me. My massive crush on sans also fucked me up bad in the intrusive thoughts dept. Bc like 'what if he likes me back??? He'd be a pedo and I don't want him to be a pedo!" So it was like intense yearning, but I was also scared of him, and obsessed in general, but I couldn't stop thinking about him so I just was in sans limbo for like 5 years. And then I finally got some fucking meds and I could just be like 10% more normal Abt him.
And then I fell completely out of love at chapter 4 bc bro wtf I thought you were cool, but now you're just l. Idk now he's just... I'm keeping an eye out bc maybe I'm wrong, but like I'm also kinda glad I'm not really into him anymore bc that crush has a LOT of emotional baggage. I feel like once I got over the para social heartbreak, I just accepted he's a morally dubious character and moved on. Like I still appreciate him, but I'm not glazing him until he is redeemed in my eyes. Like yeah he's a complex, well written character who can be a real badass, but he's also someone I just don't trust anymore. I think that's kind of the point. And ngl that's a little too real. That feeling of someone you thought you knew doing something wrong and now you feel like you don't know them at all. And now that I know that, I feel strangely apathetic now to him. Like he's just sans idk. Hell do what he does, and it's up to me to decide if I like him as a character. Because I don't know why he's 'like that' in deltarune, I don't think Im as sympathetic towards the sans I knew in undertale.
So like, that kind of bothers me ig. It's not that big of a deal bc I'm more focused on real life anyways, and spamtenna on the occasion bc that ship is still absurd to me.
But ohh my God I love this game and community. No matter what I've gone through, I can't ever loathe this game. People are so talented and creative, always coming up with new ideas to further my appreciation for the writing of this colorful cast. The story beats may be ingrained in my head, and frankly I'm slowly moving on, but I will always appreciate the theories, creativity, and imagination the fandom has.
Personally I'm growing more attached to deltarune now. I still love the development the blorbos are getting in deltarune, but it's much less para social and insane than it used to be. I love this game sm it takes what made undertale great and ramped it up to 11. Peak fiction! Peak!!
I've only been a fan of the game for 8 out of the 10 years, but I'll say this. Thank you Toby Fox, you're goated asf for making the most emotional, musical, funny, and personal works of fiction, and I'm glad to be on the hype train for the rest of deltarune's awesome journey. <3
Sorry I couldn't make a godsend work of art, I just don't have any ideas ATM. My art block has been really bad for a while now.... If I come up with something I'll draw it. Also I'm so sad I missed the even where people got to write about their relationship with undertale bc that was like the PERFECT opportunity to get my thoughts and thinking's out there and I DIDNT BC I MISSED IT AAAASSGHHHHHFIKWNFKSK
I guess I'm just more into other things rn, but I just wanted to like talk about how ut changed me as a person and I'm greatful how it positively impacted me. Maybe not so much the negative stuff, but that was more of a fandom thing rather than the game.
Anyways, think I'm done rambling for now, adios internet.
