we used to get christmas episodes of television. halloween episodes. valentines. we used to get television that felt like part of your life. like it was happening alongside your life. now we mostly get 8 episodes dropping all at once every two years and they don't have time for any of that. i miss characters living alongside us
Summary: you paint a shed with Fatima and Ellis and get to know one another a little. After, you all come up with a plan to help Victor get out of his shell.
Tags: honestly not much happens this chapter. Lmk if I should add something, I will.
You:
It turns out the project Boyd and Abby had was painting a newly built shed. Where the paint and supplies came from was anyone's guess. A carpenter likely came through and got trapped at some point. You, Fatima, and Ellis pick a longer side to work on, you between the two of them. The color was ivory, kind of boring for a shed in your opinion, but it gave you something to do outside of going insane about your new situation.
"When am I expected to find a job and such?" The thought had been weighing on you since you asked Victor about it this morning. He hadn't really given you an answer.
Fatima shrugged. "We don't really have jobs. Tian-Chen chose to cook, and Nathan, Sara's brother chose to look after the animals. Sara helps Tian-Chen out for breakfast and dinner. Kristi obviously has her EMT stuff so she's sort of default medic. Most of us just help out when necessary, like painting." She gestured to the wall with her paintbrush. You nodded, feeling a little more at ease.
"A slice of normalcy, you know?" Ellis spoke up. "Most of us had to put our job and lives on hold, unable to go back."
"Structuring ourselves because we're not really beholden to anything here." It made sense to you.
"Well, other than those things at night." Fatima pointed out.
You all fell silent for a moment, but your curiosity grew. You were more comfortable asking Fatima and Ellis questions than Victor. "Have you ever seen them?" You tossed it out to no one in particular.
"They look like us," Ellis commented softly.
You froze mid-stroke on the shed, looking over at him in surprise. "What? Human?"
"Yeah. With leviathan teeth." He laughed as if that made it less terrifying. "They talk to us sometimes. Trying to lure us out by pretending to be victims in need of help. You hear someone crying, whimpering and pleading to come get them before the monsters do, you go out, thinking you can get them and go. We've lost whole groups due to it. They're tricky."
You stared at the wet paint in horror. The thought that there might be something luring you to help just to slaughter you would've never occurred to you if Ellis hadn't said anything. Suddenly you think you understood Victor's weird reclusiveness better. "Well thanks for that head up, I definitely would've been the idiot to go help someone." Your stomach twisted with nerves at the notion.
"Yeah, we need to make a beginners guide or something." Ellis said, lost in thought. He raised his hand up in the air. "Welcome to Hell, Here's How It Works." He moved his hand through the air, like he could see the title page in his head. You and Fatima laugh.
"Sounds like you're volunteering." Fatima joked.
Ellis shook his head, leaning down to dip his brush in the paint tin. Behind him, you caught sight of a slender figure in a red shirt by the treeline. You pause for a moment, knowing it was Victor. You couldn't tell what he was doing but it looked like he might have been writing or coloring. Then, Ellis straightened up and blocked your eyeline.
You looked to Fatima, who was watching you with a surprisingly blank look on her face, not judging, but definitely trying to gauge your response. "Does he actually measure the trees?" You almost hope she tells you that he had been joking about that part.
"Ah, good ol' Victor." Ellis snickered. "Trying to convince you the trees moved again?"
"Yeah." Your stomach twisted into a different kind of uncomfortable knot. Part of you wanted to laugh it off with Ellis and just leave your opinion of the town's most interesting person with just 'he's a nut case.' But there was part of you that didn't like the way Ellis had laughed, that had wanted to defend Victor. Besides, he's been in this place the longest, for all anyone knew he could be right.
"I wouldn't worry yourself to much. Victor's…" Fatima trailed off, searching for the right words. "unreliable."
"And you don't want to know why that might be the case?"
"Definitely! But he doesn't talk about it!"
"Because people laugh." You gestured to Ellis, who froze and stared at you. You took a deep breath, leaning down to get more paint on your brush before going back your portion of the wall.
"It was a joke." Ellis explained, like you hadn't realized it.
"I know. But it might not be funny to him. I asked him if I could tell others and he said that no one would believe me, and… I don't know, man. The way he said it freaked me the fuck out. Obviously he has some developmental delays from being here for who knows how long, but what if he's right about some of this shit? He's lived for so long, he's gotta have some of it figured out." You have no idea if you're defending him or just rationalizing your own conflicting feelings in whether or not you believe him.
Ellis and Fatima both remain silent for a long time and you wonder if you're already starting to sound as crazy as old Victor. "He won't tell us what happened." Fatima whispers. You pressed your lips together, wishing there was an easy answer. You turn from the shed to look around you at the little town. "Where were you last night?"
The question shocked you out of your curiosity about where the buildings came from. You looked at Fatima. At some point Ellis had crossed behind you and now had an arm around her shoulders. You debate on what to tell them, then decide to go for vague truth. "I stupidly followed Victor out into the woods too close to dark." You pause, thinking over the way he'd more or less pushed you into the woods with him. "Actually, I told him not right now, and he more or less herded me through the woods to some field with a fruit semi-trailer in it." You lean toward them, trying to bring a lighter mood around. "Bro's got himself a little bachelor pad out there."
Ellis and Fatima blinked at you. You raised an eyebrow at them and laugh a little. "No way." Ellis finally responded.
"Swear. He asked me to go back with him tonight. But his moods swings make me anxious, I don't know if I can handle much time with that one without help." They both nod in agreement.
"That's the general consensus when it comes to Victor." Ellis shrugged.
"But he's never shared with anyone before." Fatima looked at you and you could practically see the idea forming behind her eyes.
"No."
"It could help! Don't you want to go home?"
"How the hell do I even get someone that goes from hot to cold in a snap to open up about such trauma? And I'm not talking normal trauma. Victor has severe PTSD, enough that it's mentally disabled him a little bit. I'm not any kind of licensed therapist. All I know is what I've seen on binging Criminal Minds from a far too young age." Ellis chuckled at that.
"No SVU?" He teased.
"I got attached to my comfort team. No other cop drama would do." They both chuckle.
"It could help him, too. Having someone to talk to, I mean." Fatima pointed out.
You shift, uncomfortable with the thought, even as you agree with her over all idea. "I totally agree with that. But I don't think I'm the person to do it. I'm awkward and weird. I don't know how to talk to people. I have my own issues, it freaks me out when he freaks out, and then I realized I'm trapped out in the middle of the woods with him and I can't get back without his help and that freaks me out even more!"
"Just don't agitate him." Ellis shrugged.
"Got any tips? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that guy lives in a state of agitation. I mean… reasonably so, but still."
"You're overthinking it. Victor just needs a friend. He needs someone who's kind and understanding. He seems surprisingly taken with you. That hasn't happened with anyone else before."
Probably because he's lost everyone else he tried to get close with. You didn't say it out loud, but you were fairly sure your guess was spot on. "Again, totally agree. Not sure I'm the man for the job."
You watched Ellis' lips curl up. "Well, you're not a man, so…”
You couldn't stop the snort that left you. You shook your head and nudged him aside to continue your work. "Thanks for noticing." Ellis chuckled before going back to his own spot. Fatima was quiet as she went back to painting. You looked over at her and she met your gaze, giving you a tight smile.
"I think Victor might disagree, you know. About you being the wrong person for the job." You don't answer, unsure of how to feel about that comment.
~
You noticed that it didn't get too hot outside, but Abby did come around with some spray-on sunscreen and forced it on the three of you. She and Ellis bickered endearingly and she gave Fatima a one-armed hug and told her to keep Ellis in line. You laughed. She gave you a smile, and thanked you for helping out, rubbing your shoulder as she slid by to go elsewhere.
"Your mom is cool." You commented to Ellis as the three of you finished up the first wall.
"Yeah, she is." Ellis found a shorter wall that he took by himself while you and Fatima split the second longer wall between you.
"Ellis is a great painter, I hope he does a mural on this," Fatima whispered. You grinned.
"That'd be super cool."
"Were your parents cool like Ellis'?"
You paused, the question catching you off guard. "Oh, uh, well, I never really knew my dad. And my step-dad was kind of an asshole. My mom…" You pause as a few different memories go through your head, including the last time you saw her. You swallow, taking a deep breath and focusing on the paint. "She was cool. She did her best and it wasn't all bad. There was a lot of good there too." You don't want to trauma dump on a practical stranger. She passed only a month ago and speaking in past tense was still strange. Should you correct it? Make it out like she was alive? No, the grief was still so prominent. You leave it at what you gave, deciding it wasn't terrible enough to get any 'I'm sorry's' or 'are you okays' that would only make the reminder of the loss more prominent.
"What about you?" It's somehow easier and harder to listen to other people talk about their parents now that your one had gone. But you didn't want to talk about yours, not yet, so you listen to Fatima explain how she grew up in Iran and how men came for her father on her birthday. Understanding shone in her eyes. You swallow, fighting the grief that was still triggered by everything at the moment. "I'm sorry." You whispered, saying the two words you yourself have fucking despised over the past four weeks.
Tears burned hot in your eyes. You focus on your breathing, on the way your paintbrush goes up and down. Fatima was brave enough to admit to her loss, you have no right to cry. "It does get easier." Fatima said quietly.
Your tears fell before you could stop them. You wiped them away with your sleeve, trying to focus on deep breaths that never seem to actually help once you're already crying. Gently, Fatima pries the paintbrush from your hand and tosses it in the grass. "Let's take a break."
Ellis poked his head around the corner, "Hey paint thieves-" His teasing is paused when he spotted you. His paintbrush joined yours and Fatima's in the grass and his arms wrap around you, pulling into his chest. "Hey, what happened?" His voice has softened to a near whisper.
"Grief. Come on, Sweetie, let's go somewhere a little more private."
You wipe your tears and keep your head down as Fatima takes your hand and leads you toward the giant house on the hill. Ellis follows close by, getting the door for you both as you're herded inside and up several flights of stairs. You end up where you think is the attic. There were two beds, and an easel and several beautiful drawings of various people from town, mainly though, the artist's muse was clearly Fatima. "Wow." You laughed through your tears, "Ellis, did you do these?"
"Yeah. I can do you sometime if you'd like." You nodded.
"I think Victor drew me last night, but he refused to show me how it turned out."
They gave you tight, awkward smiles as Victor was once again the topic of conversation. "Sorry. He's unexpectedly been the primary person I've been hanging out with. I literally don't know anyone else." Why are you even apologizing? You've been here two days.
"It's just not in character for him to taken in newbies. It throws us for a bit of a loop that he's being friendly." Fatima replied.
You think back to his hot and cold temper this morning. "Well, I'll give him credit for trying, at least." In your strange turn in conversation, you forgot about the ache in your chest that had caused you to abandon your painting posts in the first place.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really." Your mom can wait until the next inevitable moment comes along for the grief to sweep you away again.
"I meant whatever happened last night… if you want to talk about it at least."
You pause, thinking over the strange night you spent with Victor. "Not much. It was quieter out there. I think it's easier for him to be alone."
"What about you?" Ellis asked it in a way that made you feel like he was probing. You weren't sure what for, though. You shift from foot to foot, eyes going from one drawing to the next on the wall.
"Nah. I'm a giant baby. I definitely prefer to be around people, even if I know it's a risk."
"Did you like being up there alone with him?" Fatime was the one to throw the question your way.
"It was further away from the screaming. That part, I liked." You feel guilty for admitting it. You understand Victor's 'lone man' logic, but damn do you feel guilty for apparently being special for whatever reason he deemed.
"Do you think he has more? Hiding spots, I mean?" Ellis seemed frustrated and curious, like whatever you answer with might determine which emotion won.
"No idea. He invited me back to the truck tonight, so I'm guessing that's his little sanctuary." They both nod.
"Instead of hanging out with us, you should go back and see what happens?"
You tense. You aren't particularly keen to spend much time alone with Victor. What if something happens? "I don't know. I understand he's troubled for a reason, but I'm human, there's only so much patience I have with being snapped at for no reason."
"He's Victor. He won't hurt you, he's just a little high strung. You're a calm person, it could help with the anxiety."
"I get it, but I rival him in anxiety and he isn't exactly a calm person to be around."
"Just for tonight. If it blows up, then it blows up." Fatima coaxed. You look at her and can't help but envy her ability to just wave off a blow up. You press your lips together and nod, disappointed you got roped into some bullshit game with someone a lot stronger than you are and seems to have zero control over his emotions. Awesome.
"He heard me say I was going to look for you guys tonight amd he was kind of upset. Maybe I should give him some space to cool off."
"Just tell him you changed your mind." Fatima shrugged, and you realize then and there that despite having only been here two days, you definitely have a better read on Victor than these two did. He'll be suspicious as all shit if you say that to him.
"Tell him you missed him." Ellis suggested with a barely contained laugh.
"Shut the fuck up, Ellis." You roll your eyes and walk out of the room, ready to go back to the painting.
"Oh come on. It's actually really cute to see Victor have a bit of a crush." He teasing felt like needles in your brain. You wished he wouldn't joke like that, your heart is now racing and you're now going to hyperfixate on every word Victor says to you, trying to figure out if he's just trying to make a friend or if he's just another typical dude after all.
Fatima smiled just a little. "His overprotectiveness is kind of cute." She admits, and you roll your eyes.
"I barely know the guy! And from what little time I have spent with him, he seems very uninterested in most adult proclivities."
"Oooo, adult proclivities." Ellis echoed back, and you laugh as you head downstairs. "I should ask him if he knows what that means."
You want to plead with him not too, but then decide that you kind of want to see that conversation happen just to see Victor tell Ellis to go away. "I don't think he's that naive. He definitely knows what is inferenced, even if he's never done said proclivities." You don't know why you say it, it's really just your own hunch from what you've seen of him.
Fatima cracks up and Ellis scoffs, nudging you with an elbow as you head out the door and back down to the shed.
Painting resumed and you feel better, the brief wave of pain gone for the moment. Painting took up most it the day, given you stopped for food and you added a second coat after. By the tike the sun got low enough to start cleaning up, you felt a knot of nerves twist in your gut.
"You'll do fine." Fatima encouraged.
"Let me know how good of a kisser he is." Ellis teased and you resisted the urge to smack him.
"How about I hang out with Fatima and Ellis figures out if Victor has ever kissed anybody." You suggested.
They both snickered. "I've already got someone to kiss, thank you very much." He teased, and demonstrated his answer by kissing Fatima. You rolled your eyes at him.
"Good for you." You muttered sarcastically, and you shook your hands at them. You end up walking off from them, not even sure where to find Victor to enact this Operation Friendship plan you guys came up with. Does it even have to start tonight? Part of you hoped he was already disappeared for the night.
Luck was not on your side. You'd only been alone for a few minutes before you catch movement to your left and you saw Victor heading directly toward you. You pause, letting him catch up.
"Where are Fatima and Ellis?"
You shrug, unsure of what to say to him. He watches you, narrowing his eyes, and then he looks at the trees. "Does the offer to go back to the trailer still stand?" It came out more awkward than you'd like, and you look down the road wondering you look as big of an idiot as you feel right now.
~
Victor:
He looked down at you, a bit surprised you asked to come back with him. But wasn't that what he wanted? You to himself. He didn't comment on the way you blush, but he did wonder why. Were you worried he'll refuse you? Worried he'll leave you to the monsters who have already taken far to much from him? His jaw clenched as he fought back the tears that threaten to come. No. He'll not let them have you. You were his.
"We should go. It'll be close to dark by the time we get there." He stepped aside and allowed you to go ahead of him. You seemed calmer when he didn't reject you outright, and you head for the woods. Every brush of his hand on your shirt or your back was enough to feel as if he'd been electrocuted. His hear raced with excitement, hoping he could show you some of his things before it got to dark to dark. Maybe you two could watch the sun set from the trailer door.
~
Arriving to the trailer was just as much of a relief for him as it seemed to be for you. He opened the door and offered a hand to help you inside. You hesitate for a moment, but ultimately accept his help. Warmth sparks through him when your hand grips his. It's over far to fast, but it leaves a small smile on his lips. He climbed in after you and realized upon standing that you had offered your hand to him in return. You drop it, mouth pressed tightly together and that redness returning to your cheeks.
Victor frowned, watching as you wander deeper into the trailer. Were you upset he hadn't taken your hand? He hadn't seen it or he would have just to have an excuse to hold it again.
"I'm sorry." He stepped after you, determined to make it right
You turn back to him, brow furrowed. What would it feel like to kiss your forehead the way his mother used to kiss his? "What for?"
His eyes dropped to your hands and he reached out to carefully take yours in his. "I didn't realize you'd offered help." He didn't lift his gaze for a long moment.
"O-oh. That's okay." You pull back from him and he allows it. He watched you curiously as you shift, almost dance out of his way. He blinked. You' were… nervous. Why? Were you afriad of him? He certinly didn't want that.
He put his hands out placatingly. "It's okay. I-I'm sorry I got mad this morning. That- that can happen sometimes." He did feel bad, but he was also pleased that you seemed to come to your own conclusion about staying with him.
You scrutinize him for a moment, but then nod to him. "I doubt you've had many examples in way of learning how to process things in a better way, if at all, really."
Victor stared at you, entirely flabbergasted. What did that even mean? He sort of understood what you had said, but it surprised him to hear it. Most people phased to him as 'You're not some kid, quit acting like one.' Part of him wanted to ask if you'll teach him, but the other part of him didn't want the person he was protecting to be the one teaching him. He didn't want you to see him as if he were a boy. He's older than you, a lot older than you, he's very aware of that.
"It's not safe to take risks here." He whispered.
You press your lips together eyes going to the floor between you. "Every night is a risk. They play musical holes every night hoping it'll be enough to deter those things. Nobody goes into the woods, noboday explores further to see if there are answers out there if we go far enough."
"There have been others who have gone looking for answers." He shakes his head, his eyes burning with tears at the last memory of his mother. "They don't come back. It's safer to not ask questions."
Your eyes drop, and you swallow whatever argument you may have had. "Who?"
It was the question he expected, and from the look on your face, you weren't expecting an actual answer from him. He hesitated, not wanting the person he was protecting to know how badly he failed the first time. But he'd been so much younger then. "My mother."
He watched your own pain flash acrossed your features. "Victor, I'm so sorry."
His jaw clenched, and he looked at the wall, fighting to to not break down entirely. "I-it was a long time ago. I'm… bigger now. I can help more."
Silence filled the trailer, and his eyes find you again. You gave a nod, but he could tell there was something you were thinking but not saying. He sighed, he's seen that look on the others' faces too. He needed to do more to help, but he wasn't letting you help. He turned, watching the sky darken to a purple. Behind him, he heard you click on the lamp on his desk. He reached up, tugging on the door until it hit the metal floor of the trailer.
~
You:
You're not sure how to respond to that remark. Clearly something had happened. "Were you a kid when you came here?" He stared at the couch, fingers twitching at his side as he debated on if he was going to answer you or not. His shoulders slump and he nodded. Jesus fucking christ, you might be sick. How had this guy lived so long? That explained so much of his irratic behavior. He hasn't been taught how to regulate himself as he got older. "Victor…" You don't know what to say, and you doubt he'd find anything you come up with comforting. You look around for a moment before settling back to him. "What can I do? To help you, I mean."
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. His eyes flick back and forth between you and the wall. "Just trust me." He sounded so pleading it broke your heart. You nodded, even if you're unsure what he meant fully by those words.
~
Victor:
He just needed you safe. He needed you to listen to him because he's been alive the longest and therefore he was your best shot at surviving. He didn't want you to comfort him, he didn't want to learn things from you, he just wanted you alive. He wanted you to do what he says. He knows best. "I know- I know best here. I don't want you to-" He cuts himself off. He won't lose you. He refused to lose you. You came back with him instead of going with Fatima and Ellis. That was a start. "It's hard. This place. I know how to stay safe better than the others."
You look uncomfortable, but he doesn't understand why. He was protecting you. That was something he longed for at your age. And now. But it was past his time to need protection. He was the one protecting this time. "And you want to share that with me but not the others?" Yes, you're finally understanding!
"You're different." He couldn't explain why, but you are. He felt alive again, excited, happy, eager. Emotions he's long hidden away. But underlying that is fear because your shoulders tense and you look ready to run, and he doesn't understand what spooked you.
"Why?" It came out terse, like him admitting the truth had upset you. It had meant to be a compliment.
He frowned, upset by your upset. "I don't know. You just-" He stepped closer, holding his breath as he reached up to very carefully cup your face in one of his hands. Your skin is very soft. "You make me feel happy again
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