Shit My Sister Says

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

*clomp clomp clomp clomp*

To mom: pumpkin is a fruuit

Not a statement. Not a question. Not offended. Possibly a mild inquiry that doesn't quite deserve question status.

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

LS: I'm not saying it doesn't look like a gorilla, I'm just saying it could look *more* like a gorilla.

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

"Can you survive being stalked by Joe from You? No. Moving on."

—while scrolling buzzfeed

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

"Could you imagine if the rope was scented slightly like cheese and the rat gnawed through it?"

—about the quicksand scene in the princess bride

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

"Why does he jump right on his horse? He has balls!"

—about prince humperdinck, precipitating my dad having a crisis over his youngest

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

Little sister (to parents): where did you guys eat testicles?

Mom: at a friend's house in Ohio

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

"That's a cute jacket."

—while wearing an almost identical jacket that she bought two days ago

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

Little sister: you're stealing all my blanket!

Me: no, I'm at the edge of the blanket

LS: ...

LS, delighted: yeah, you're riiiight!

[mumblesfromalittlesister]

"It's not that bad, I just want to skip all the stupid parts."

—after telling me that most of the parts are stupid