you ain't got no feel

mun seokju. jack of all trades. acent trainee. 'cause your body is a party that i never wanna leave 'cause i'm having way too much fun.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin didn’t know what else to say in that moment. He hadn’t expected this and even though it was a good outcome it left him floundering. Was he maybe still asleep and just dreaming this whole conversation? That suddenly seemed like a strong possibility to him. But no, he would be able to tell if he was dreaming. Kevin shifted back and forth for a second before he did the first thing he could think of. He hugged Seokju. Because he was glad that Seokju wasn’t disgusted. Because he was sorry that Seokju had to hide himself like Kevin was. Because he just wanted to hug his best friend for a second.

seokju made a high pitch startled noise when kevin embraced him. he wasn’t expecting that and he hadn’t been looking so it was very out of nowhere to him. after a quick second seokju wrapped his arms around the taller boy. after all the time he spent thinking about kissing kevin he realized in this moment that he hadn’t thought too much about hugging kevin. he was tall and warm and smelt nice and this was definitely seokju wanted a lot more of. seokju felt his heart beat begin to quicken as he held onto the taller boy. it was just a hug, he told himself as he finally pulled back. 

[munseokju]

park-jaejoon

He could only stand and stare at the other in silence, watching as he brought his hand to his face. If he were being honest to himself, Jaejoon felt like a coward. Even to one of his closest friends, he had to put up a cold front. Things had never been this way between the two of them. Then again, Jaejoon hadn’t always been Seokju’s boss. He’d only ever been the man’s friend up until a few months ago. Was he being overbearing? Most likely, yes. But it was how he was, and he believed that the others knew that. Yura had understood, why didn’t Seokju? Don’t you know that I care? He thought to himself, desperately wanting to utter the words out loud to the other. However, his thoughts remained as just that: thoughts. “That’s for you to decide.”

seokju still couldn’t bring himself to look at jaejoon. he wasn’t sure what would happen if he did. he was already in a fragile state and it made him feel very small in all of the worst ways. the man in front of him was -used to be- his best friend. “i want to be in hyde.” he attempted to make his voice sound more firm but all it did was sound whinier. “i need to be in hyde.” seokju changed his statement - he didn’t think he’d have another chance at his dream anywhere else. there was also a voice in his head reminding him that without hyde he wouldn’t be close to kevin anymore. “i need to be here.” seokju once again wiped his face again, feeling more moisture come to his face. he refused to even admit to himself that he was going to cry (he had kept it in for so long, why was it happening now of all times). “please - i’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

[munseokju]

park-jaejoon

“Precisely as I thought.” Jaejoon uttered out as coldly as his words prior. As seconds progressed, his attitude towards Seokju had continued to worsen. He’d no clue as to why, but it did. When he’d initially called out the other’s name, this wasn’t at all what he had planned. What Jaejoon really wanted to tell Seokju was that he was sorry, and that he would be by his side to get him on stage no matter what. But at this point, he simply couldn’t gather the words. A part of him was afraid to open his mouth to speak again, frightened that he may say something to cause permanent damage to their already strained relationship. Bro… The word echoed throughout his mind, but physically, Jaejoon remained paralyzed in place.

seokju let out a shaky breath after jaejoon spoke. part of him felt relief - the feeling that he swerved away from a potential danger. it was quickly replaced by a deep feeling of dread because jaejoon’s tone was still cold. the anger and frustration that seokju had felt was beginning to be replaced by a slow creeping sadness. he started at jaejoon for a moment, unsure of what to say now. after another few seconds of silence he averted his eyes to the ground. (it clicked into seokju’s head that he was hanging his head in defeat, but that was how he felt - defeated). after another moment he wiped his still stinging eyes against the back of his forearm, cursing when he felt moisture there. seokju cleared his throat, attempting to make the choked up feeling go away. when he spoke the strain was clear in his voice. “what now?” seokju wasn’t sure if he was asking. was he referring to the current conversation, seokju’s career or their friendship. there wasn’t many times where seokju couldn’t find words but in the moment he didn’t trust his mind or his voice. he couldn’t create more conflict - if he wanted to stay with ace he had to late jaejoon win this.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin wondered if Seokju was lying. He was talking too loud and he didn’t appear to know what he was even saying. This was a bad idea. A really terrible idea actually. He opened his mouth ready to give Seokju an out. Maybe they could just pretend that this never happened. He felt like the breath had been stolen from his lungs when he heard Seokju admit that he was also gay. He hadn’t been expecting that and for a brief moment he’d thought that he’d misheard him. “Oh.” Kevin let out a shaky breath. “Oh.”

“yeah.” seokju let out quietly as he turned to face kevin completely. his face was still red as he looked up at the taller boy. he never thought something like this would happen (both kevin being gay and seokju telling him he was them same). in truth, seokju never thought about telling anyone ever nor did he have intentions of keeping it a complete secret, he just hadn’t really thought about it outside the context of his feelings for his friend. seokju wondered if now it would be easy for kevin to figure out why seokju had been acting weird. he couldn’t figure out what else he was meant to say and he felt as if all his words were stuck in his throat (something which rarely happened to him). he looked away from the taller boy when he couldn’t help but think that maybe kevin wouldn’t be as opposed to kissing seokju as he had thought. 

[munseokju]

kevbaek

The first thing that Kevin thought was that he’d made a mistake. (The second was that he didn’t want Seokju to hurt himself with the pot). He wished he could rewind time and just eat his words. He had no idea what Seokju meant by that. Was he mad maybe? Or was he trying to fight the urge to leave because he was so disgusted. Kevin couldn’t really tell. “Yeah.” He confirmed a little hollowly. The only other person he’d done this with was Bastien – and his brother had been much easier to read than Seokju was right now. “Does that bother you?” He hoped it was just surprise from Kevin suddenly jumping to this subject. He hoped that Seokju wouldn’t look at him as any less than he had before. (But he was very scared that the smaller male would in fact do just that).

“it doesn’t i just wasn’t-” seokju started his voice much louder than it needed to be for how close he was to kevin. he put the pot down on top of the stove, staring into the water as he continued at a quieter volume. “expecting you to be.” in fact he had spent quite some time reminding himself that kevin was straight and to not get his hopes up. it turned out seokju was very wrong and it was making his heart beat quicken. he’d never had a conversation like this before (being on either side of it) and seokju wasn’t sure what he was meant to say. should he tell kevin he was also gay? should he confess his feelings? he immediately answered no second question, kevin being gay didn’t mean he felt the same as seokju did. “i am too.” he admitted after a pause, feeling the blush on his ears spread to his face. letting kevin know this couldn’t do any harm could it? “i’m gay too.” it wasn’t the first time seokju had said it out loud but it was the first time there had been someone else around to hear it. without turning away from the stove he glanced over at kevin looking as sheepish as seokju could.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin watched Seokju continuing to cook for a few long moments. It had gone uncomfortably silent – or maybe it was just uncomfortable for him. He looked down for a few long moments, frowning at the kitchen floor. “Hey, Seokju…” He said suddenly, surprising himself with his own voice. “Can I tell you something?” He waited for a few beats before deciding to just soldier on without waiting for confirmation. “I’mgay” He pushed out the phrase quickly not pausing to delineate where one word stopped and the next began. Part of him sort of hoped that Seokju missed it.

seokju didn’t know what to expect when kevin asked the question, but it certainly wasn’t that. he had opened his mouth to give a response but before he could the word’s were already out of kevin’s mouth. kevin was gay? seokju nearly dropped the pot (now full of water) as he processed those words. to him it seemed out of any realm of possibilities for kevin to be gay. part of why seokju had been able to quietly accept the fact that he was in love with liked kevin was because he thought he was straight. this information changed things. “you’re gay?” seokju asked looking over at kevin, unsure of what his face was doing besides knowing that his eyes had gone wide and his ears hot. seokju felt a nervous feeling in his stomach, kevin liked boys and that was a lot for him to take in.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin laughed, deciding to stop riling Seokju up for the moment. He didn’t want to make him get a hernia. “I’m just kidding.” Kevin said soothingly, though there was still a spark of mischief in his eyes. Maybe he just got it from being the youngest in his family but Kevin had always been a bit of a troublemaker. He fell silent then a sudden thought occurring to him – they were alone in the dorm. If he wanted to he could tell Seokju. He felt the smile fading as he considered it, now that the thought was there it was going to be hard to shake it. He didn’t think the whole group needed to know – but Seokju was his best friend so maybe he should know. A nasty voice in the back of his mind reminded him that Christian had been his best friend too and look at where that landed him. The bigger part of him flinched away from comparing Seokju to Christian.

seokju rolled his eyes at kevin’s words, though as he looked away a small formed on his face (he couldn’t help it when the taller boy’s laugh sounded like that). “you better be.” he took a step towards the counter beside kevin so he could fiddle with what he put down on it, still no closer to having a meal prepared. after a few moments of silence he glance up at kevin who didn’t look amused anymore. he didn’t like that expression on the taller boy (though he still looked painfully attractive), seokju much preferred the way he looked when he smiled. maybe he was just imagining things (for these sort of social cues went far over his head on the regular). he quietly decided to boil water (that was easy enough he assumed), taking a few steps over to the sink after picking up a pot he had taken out earlier.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin laughed reaching out to ruffle Seokju’s hair as though he were a little kid, just because he knew it would make the younger upset. There was something cute about the way Seokju reacted to teasing. Plus, he was just such an easy target, how was Kevin meant to ignore that? “Yeah see? Clear pyromaniac tendencies right there. Unless I’ve been reading the wrong dictionary all these years and arson isn’t at all related to pyromania.” Kevin purposefully ignored Seokju’s point in favor of getting him riled up. “You seem a lot like a pyro to me. But Hyunwoo seems to have a soft spot for you for some reason so I guess I might not be able to get him on my side.”

seokju made a noise when kevin ruffled up his hair. he wasn’t sure how to react to it (he wanted the taller boy to run his fingers through his hair but definitely not like this). instead of saying anything he dropped his arms his arms to his sides for a second before reaching up to frantically attempt to fix his hair (and cover his ears which had turned red). “i don’t want to light anything on fire.” once again seokju’s pitch and volume raised, “i don’t even own a lighter. or matches.” he raised his arms up into the air again, starting to forget his task of making lunch in favour of being fully distracted by kevin. even when he was teasing him like this, seokju wanted to kiss him (maybe even more so, he loved the attention from the taller boy). “hyunwoo would believe me, i’m not going to light anything on fire.” he let out a small huff as he took a step closer to kevin, once again bringing his hands up to his head to adjust his hair more. 

[bulletproof-beast]

[munseokju]

bulletproof-beast:

[151120 SEOBSTAGRAM UPDATE] @yysbeast 공연 끝나고 마시는 우유는 맛있우유♡ 

[TRANS] @yysbeast After the performance ended, the milk that I drank was delicious

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin was starting to notice that Seokju was staring at him a lot. “Dude, you keep staring. Do I have pillow creases on my face or something?” He rubbed at his cheeks trying to see if he could detect said creases by touch. He backtracked for a second going back to Seokju’s proclamation about fire. “Wait…are you saying you would set the dorm on fire on purpose?” He asked reaching out to gently push Seokju’s shoulder. “I oughta tell Hyunwoo that we have a pyro in the dorm.”

seokju’s eyes wide at kevin’s first question. so he was looking at kevin too much. he didn’t think he could tell kevin the truth, that he was just very good looking and it was distracting. at least if he did say that he’d have to spin it as a joke and seokju didn’t think he was equip to do that at the moment. the fact that kevin had notice just made him feel flustered again. “i’m not staring.” seokju said a little too loudly. he jumped slightly along with the push. he let out an annoyed noise - though he could handle this over the previous question. “you completely missed out on the point. i never said i wanted to set the dorm on fire, i just said i only would if it was on purpose.” seokju emphasized certain words hoping to get his point across, finally looking back at kevin feeling certain he wasn’t flushed. seokju folded his arms over his chest and nodded a few times at kevin, “do you think hyunwoo would believe i’m a pyro? do i seem like a pyro?” he knew that kevin teasing but seokju couldn’t help but take the bait every time. 

[munseokju]

kevbaek

“Skills.” Kevin repeated slowly in a disbelieving tone. “Skills.” He said again. “You’ve never cooked before what skills are there to have?” He shook his head slightly. Seokju was Seokju though and he obviously thought he had it under control. “I’m just gonna stay here to make sure you don’t end up accidentally burning the dorm down.” He said teasingly. There was just something really fun about getting under Seokju’s skin a little bit – though he’d never take it far enough to actually hurt Seokju’s feelings.

“excuse me.” seokju spoke, his voice raising in both pitch and volume as he stared into the fridge. “i’ll have you know i’m skilled at everything.” he pulled out several different things from the fridge and stood to his full height and closed it with his foot. seokju did feel glad that kevin said he was going to say, even if seokju was going to be distracted from the task he was trying to commit to. he looked at kevin both of his eyebrows raised before speaking, “there won’t be any fire. unless i want there to be.” he put the stuff down onto the counter next to where kevin was. now that he was closer to the taller boy it crossed his mind again that this would be a good kissing angle. he tried to shake the thought out of his head as he turned his gaze to the stuff he had just set there.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

“Because I’ve never seen you near the kitchen to cook for as long as I’ve known you.” Kevin said then let out a snort when Seokju admitted he was just flying by the seat of his pants. “If I develop food poisoning and or die because of you then I hope you’re willing to explain what happened to my mom.” He said lightly. Though honestly if he got a little sick from Seokju’s cooking at least he’d have a reason to stay away from the Roommate cameras for a while.

seokju turned to look up at kevin, narrowing his eyes at him. “if you don’t have faith in my skills i just won’t make enough for you.” he spoke pointing at the taller boy for a moment before abruptly changing directions and heading back to the fridge. he figured he should try to decide what he was going to make soon, but he just kept getting distracted by kevin’s presence. seokju didn’t have any reason to ask him to leave (not that he even wanted him too), so he’d just have to do his best. 

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin leaned against the counter too tired to catch on to the fact Seokju had muttered something to himself. “Right. Yeah. I’m tall you’re not.” He said. “Got it.” He didn’t really recognize what Seokju was up to until he explained that he was going to cook something. “You can cook?” Was the first thing out of Kevin’s mouth – but in his defense he’d never seen Seokju cooking. “I mean sure.“ He amended himself.

seokju wondering how it was fair that someone had so much height. kevin was taller than him even when he was leaning against the counter like that. part of him began to think about going over to him and just leaning up so there faces were close and how that would be the perfect angle for kissing. he had to remind himself to stop looking at kevin. the amount that he wanted to look at him was more than acceptable and it often brought along thoughts he wanted to avoid (such as the image of kissing him). “why do you sound so shocked?” seokju asked with a fake offended tone after a short moment he continued, revealing the truth. “i don’t know if i can cook but i’m going to try. i’ve watched my mom enough i should be able to figure it out.” seokju didn't want to say that he just wanted something to occupy his time and this was the only thing he could think of. mostly, he was coping with everything by pretending he didn’t need to cope.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin wondered if Seokju was going to be that weird quiet version of himself again for a moment. He’d thought at least that Seokju was getting somewhat better. He hadn’t been quiet in a while which was reassuring. “T-Rexs were also huge, Seokju.” He said with a laugh. “I’m sorry though. I’ll try not to put things up so high next time.” Maybe it was just his sleepy brain being slow to kick into gear but he had the odd thought that it was kind of cute when Seokju called himself pocket-sized. He yawned again barely remembering that he should cover his mouth so that Seokju wasn’t treated to a perfect view of Kevin’s uvula.

seokju couldn’t help but smile at the sound of kevin’s laughter. “good.” he said simply before moving to the fridge to pull out ingredients (he wasn’t even sure what he was making). “just remember you’re kinda massive. at least compared to me.” the cool air of the fridge helped him cool down physically because he was starting to think his face was flushed. “and that’s not a bad thing.” seokju mumbled under his breath as he turned away from the fridge, closing it before he actually took anything out of it. he glanced at up kevin again before speaking, “i was going to cook something i forgot what. actually i didn’t even pick a what. are you hungry?” seokju was right before, the post wake up look was a really nice one on kevin.

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin nodded slightly when Seokju asked him if he’d been there the whole time. “I’ve been asleep for about two hours.” He explained. By asleep he meant he’d pulled the covers over his head and burrowed close to the wall. If Seokju had checked the rooms he wouldn’t be surprised if he mistook the lump as just an unmade bed or something. “It’s fine.” Kevin said. “I didn’t even hear you come in.” He’d been exhausted really – mentally and physically and the fact he’d only been sleeping for two hours was actually surprising to him. He ran a hand through his hair and chuckled. “Well it was probably me and I definitely don’t hate you.”

seokju was going to comment on how kevin must’ve been very tired to not be woken up (seokju knew he didn’t have the ability to be quiet even when he wanted to). but before he did his thoughts were cut off by the sounds of kevin chuckling. seokju looked back at kevin distracted by the sight of him. he wanted to reach up and ran his own hands through kevin’s hair (seokju knew that wouldn’t go over well). something about the way kevin said i definitely don’t hate you gave him a fluttery feeling in his stomach. that was a normal reaction to all things kevin even though he felt like he was feeling it stronger today (maybe he was more tired than he thought). after a second (he hoped it didn’t look like he was just blatantly staring at kevin) he pulled his eyes away and composed his thoughts. “next time remember that i have short arms. like a t-rex. only my arms fit the rest of my body so not like a t-rex at all.” seokju began to move things around the counter again, sucking in a quiet breath. “i’m pocket sized remember. i can’t reach up there.”

[munseokju]

park-jaejoon

“Is that what you’re asking me to do?” Jaejoon glared over at the other. Angry words continually oozed from his mouth before he could properly think about what he was saying. “I could make a call and ensure this in just three seconds. It affects you more than myself— it doesn’t affect me at all, really.” As he spoke, Jaejoon slowly began to retrieve his phone, holding it out for the other to see blatantly. He knew he would regret these words as soon as Seokju walked away. However, Jaejoon also knew that he was far too prideful to bring himself to apologize to the man, no matter how much he wanted to. In that moment, he just wished that Seokju would produce a smart enough answer to halt his seething words.

seokju froze in his spot his eyes moving to the phone in jaejoon’s hands. he knew jaejoon well enough that he knew he wasn’t being all talk here. if seokju said the wrong thing (or the right thing, depending on how you were looking at it). he wanted to yell at jaejoon, tell him he didn’t care either and just to get it over with. seokju did care. this was his life, his dream - the only thing he’d ever wanted was to be an idol and it could all end in this moment. he shuffled forward slowly. it also hurt that jaejoon had said seokju had no affect on him (he guessed that their friendship hadn’t meant anything to him). “please don’t do that.” seokju spoke softly, or pleaded rather. he decided to swallow his pride and not risk everything he worked for anymore. seokju could feel his eyes stinging with tears, “i need this, jaejoon.”

[munseokju]

kevbaek

Kevin had been trying to spend some time at the Roommate house to prove that he wasn’t “difficult” things had gotten a little out of hand with the debut and Kevin knew there were already stories circulating that he was ill-behaved and rude. There was only so much that ACE could shield him from and the managers weren’t exactly happy with him. But sometimes Kevin got tired of being in front of the cameras. Hence why he was back at the Hyde dorms for a while. Truthfully he was only there for a nap – something about napping in front of a bunch of cameras just didn’t sit well with him.

When he woke up he made his way to the kitchen to get some food, only to be confronted with what looked like Seokju struggling to reach a plate of some kind. Kevin frowned and made his way over to the counter reaching over Seokju’s head to grab the plate in the back of the cupboard. He put it down on the counter in front of the younger. “When’d you get back?” Kevin asked around a yawn.

seokju jumped when he noticed the person reaching behind him. he realized it was kevin when he turned halfway around and saw him. “like 40 minutes ago.” he said as he turned back to look at the dish that kevin had easily reached. a large part of him felt bitter about how kevin didn’t have any difficulty in reaching where seokju had to resort to climbing up onto the counter (the part of him he was trying to ignore at the moment loved how much taller kevin was). “have you been here the whole time?” seokju asked squinting up at kevin as he did so. he looked disheveled, like he’d been asleep (and seokju assumed he was). it was a nice look on kevin and it made his heart beat faster. “i was on the phone with my mom. i thought no one was here so i didn’t even try to be quiet.” he continued before kevin answer his first question, turning back to the plate kevin had reached. “thank you. whoever put this up there hates me.”