murderdolls enthusiast @murderdxlly - Tumblr Blog

ngl his ass would have crashed that car with the amount of times he kept looking at the camera… like… watch the road lil man!!

#only i get this reference #no one else does #but seriously… why was he constantly turning his head #and looking at the camera??#my fav inside joke with myself #watch the road sir #i’m not driving with him #he’s a bit reckless… huh?#love him though

i never have much to say, that’s why i’m not a magnetic presence…

#idk i’m just not that interesting #i never have been #i don’t think anyone really thinks #‘she seems cool i wanna know more about her’#like… it’s just not happening #but that doesn’t matter #not really; at least #like i still walk through the world being myself #i’m not going to pretend to be anyone or anything #i just am who i am

#and i’m not any smarter #but sometimes it’s ok to pull out whatever you’ve been taught #just to get them confused and discombobulated #then you can sit back and wait for your exit #sometimes i wonder why i don’t feign fatigue more often #it gets me out of so much unnecessary convos #next time #i’ll run out of the room if i have to

sometimes i wish people would be honest with me and just told me they don’t like me…

#history hasn’t been kind on me #i am both canonically boring and unlikeable #while also being incredibly people pleasing #and incredibly optimistic #which is why i don’t mind being on my own #because sometimes all you’ve got is yourself #which is great because when i’m not around people…#i have so much more fun on my own

truthfully i’m the most boring person alive and literally anyone could attest to that ~

#what do i do aside from stick to the same old routine #and think the same old things #but like…#it doesn’t really matter cuz it’s funny to me #like trust me i find my own company very interesting #if no one else does… at least i do

my last cig, a bottle of something, and old concert footage… the perfect late night vibe~

#so long cig era #until we meet again #at least i could celebrate this occasion with peepaw #i’m screaming at what i’m watching tbh #like… wow i can’t believe i get access to this prime content #i can’t even i gotta get back to watching this

i had a dream i found a pack of cigarettes and got to smoke them… isn’t that crazy? isn’t that absolutely insane? and i say i don’t have a habit lmaooo

#yeah… it’s so over for me #listen… just wait until i smoke that last cigarette #then it’ll really be over for me #i won’t be able to buy another one #so i’ll just have to think about it #maybe i’ll get over it #after a week i’ll probably forget i even did it #man….

sometimes i think i’m the evilest bitch ever… but then i realize i deserve to be evil af so then i stop internalizing it.

#like… lemme have this one #i’m still awake so i get to think a bit longer #but i am a bit tired #and my throats itchy #cause i’m still new to smoking #and i don’t think im doing it right #but like… idgaf #maybe if i do it wrong i’ll be a bit more safe #but yeah… i’m so unsympathetic about everything #like… irdgaf #you blah blah blah?#cool dgaf #you’re in complete agony?#cool… dgaf #you can’t go on any longer #wow… dgaf #that’s my problem #i literally just don’t gaf #my gafs flew to antarctica #i don’t think they’ll ever return #and it sucks cause ppl just expect you to gaf #and like… idk i never learned how #ppl talk and it goes in one ear and out the other #so like… i just don’t know what to say to ppl when they’re going through shit #cause it’s not socially acceptable to just say ‘cool dgaf’#(so i just say it in my head and sigh about it here)

watching old concerts and paying attention to only one member is my favourite pastime

#wishing i could watch concerts of other bands #but unfortunately all the bands i wanna watch have that emotional baggage tied to them #omgggg and i can’t help but remember that one of my old favs got rid of another og band member #like… guys wtf are we doingggg #just knowing they’re fucking over another member #after screwing with three other members #evil evil ppl #like i haven’t fucked with that band in so long #but it genuinely feels like the end of an era without that man

that being said… anytime i have to explain myself on here, i should be given five dollars to contribute to my cigarette fund… because even though i said i wouldn’t ever become a chain smoker, the urge is strong. and also i deserve infinite cigarettes just cause.

#i feel like all i ever talk about is cigarettes now #i used to make fun of the old man for being such a chain smoker #that he’d occasionally smoke onstage #but now i get it…#like hardcore i get it #and also it’s hot when he does it so #like… he can get away with it #i deserve a time machine so i can go back in time and smoke with that man #he’d make fun of me hardcore #i probably look crazy when i smoke #i’d be a great anti smoking ad

nothing i write is about anyone but purple people eater. i feel like everyone thinks i write about other ppl here but like… no.

#if you think any of this is about you #it’s your ego talking #i have a life beyond tumblr #and idk why anyone thinks im on here talking about others #ok maybe this post is about someone #but it’s only because im annoyed i have to constantly explain myself

that wannabe indie star was right… a cigarette does make you feel better

#yall just don’t get it like i do #like… it gets better every time #nothing can really deter me from smoking #i grew up around plenty of cigarette smokers #the smell doesn’t bother me #and the aesthetic of it is amazing #ofc i couldn’t be a chain smoker im not that desperate #but the idea of smoking just reminds me of childhood #for some reason #fck… that was amazing

i’m free!!!! worst ten minutes of my life!!!!

#like ok now i can relax and do what i want #gonna watch a concert #and smoke my second last cigarette #very soon #can’t wait!!#i’m also still hopping up on the caffeine #never drink a redbull close to relaxation time #that’s just coughing up trouble

thinking about purple people eater and holyyy do i miss her

it’s literally been years but i still find myself so drawn to her… i might think about her forever… can’t wait to smoke my second last cigarette tonight

#i am literally shaking so anxious #it might be the red bull i’m drinking #a red bull and a cigarette literally the best combination #and yet i cannot smoke until my allotted time #i make up such arbitrary rules for myself #but that just makes it twice as fun!

seeing that vid grossed me out, obviously. but then… the real freak part of my brain said “but what if it was the old man…” and then i was like…

[joke cut due to budget constraints and moral upstanding]

#i would be more sympathetic if it wasn’t the pedo weirdo evil guy #but all i can think about is how seeing the old man covered in ***** would be so hot #i already said i was a psycho freak so none of this should be surprising #it’s most likely a publicity stunt with that guy though #which makes it even worse cause like… of all things to do to get attention… you do that??#but ofc mr posting upskirt pics of minors would do that #until i get actual confirmation that that was real i will continue to assume it was a stunt

all i do these days is complain about not having a pack of cigarettes on hand and sigh

#lily want cigarette #lily need cigarettes to live #lily needs to give herself lung cancer at early age #my goodness i could go for a cigarette

dragonslayer not making it on ultraviolence just shows me i can’t fully trust lana del rey

#because… that song is my home #i live in that song #that song is the combination of hanging out in a well lit forest #and living in a small town in italy #which would have been a nice reprieve from the heaviness of songs like black beauty #or guns and roses #or pretty when you cry #but apparently miss rey knows what she’s doing #[loud incorrect buzzer]

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