Freedom comes with responsibilities? Or is freedom a responsibility?
So many times a day, you hear of the word ‘free’ or ‘freedom’. Be it under circumstances of trying to get out of your parents’ clutches, to fighting for your right to free speech. People seem to think that the ultimate goal to freedom is to have full autonomy of themselves without having to bear any consequences. It is their right, what they are fully entitled to without any conditions whatsoever.
My mother always reminded me “Freedom comes with responsibility.” It is her way of reminding us siblings that the amount of freedom we have in our choice of words and actions, they either came with a cost that we had or will be cashed in. When we were younger, it was simpler to find out how much freedom we got. If we obeyed and performed our responsibilities dutifully and never caused our parents any trouble, we’d ultimately get our freedom.
Thing is, freedom to us, is not being gifted a car and a set of house keys to go in and out whenever we please. It was not the freedom to get as many piercings or tattoos on our body as we wished. Nothing as superficial as that. Instead, it was the trust that they placed in us when we make our decisions. If I were to suddenly decide to fly halfway around the world right now, they would trust that I have considered very carefully on the consequences and made a decision that would not cause them to worry about my safety. If I were to take up a new responsibility, they trust that I would have considered that amount of time I would allocate, and manage my time properly to ensure my studies do not decline in the process.
I ultimately gained my freedom over the years. It partially comes with age, but mostly through showing my parents that I am fully capable of taking care of myself. I grew up to be a person of very strong principles for myself. However, life has proved to be a time and place of temptation. I’ve had incidents where I was in very compromising situations that may cross the boundaries I made for myself if I had consented to the particular action. There were no direct pressure, which I am thankful for, and most of the time, its the direct opposite. Let’s be real though, the pressure is present once the action is being done by others. And when you are the only one not participating, you are the odd one out and your immediate thoughts are “Everybody is doing it, and it is not harming them, so why am I refraining?”
Regretfully, I had those thoughts running through my head when I was in that situation. I knew that it was normal to waver due to temptation, but when I wavered, I did not realise how that would affect me too. That is because I took pride in my ability to not succumb to peer pressure. As a very self-critical person, I hit myself hard internally for not being strong-willed enough to say no, and had to find all sorts of reasons to push away the subject or to joke it off. I didn’t have the guts to say “No, I will not do it because I do not want to”. Instead I joke it off to not offend anyone with my rejection.
Those compromising situations brought me back to the topic of freedom. Whether it is a tangible right, or a state of mind. It was my freedom to choose to participate or not, and that freedom became a state of mind to me. I knew that if I participated in the said act, I will never forgive myself for the rest of my life, because I broke a principle that made me who I am today. I am just glad that the only regret I currently have is not having a strong-willed enough brain to say no bravely.
Maybe mother was wrong after all. Freedom does not come with responsibility. Freedom itself, is a responsibility. Freedom can either liberate you or trap you. The choice, is ultimately in own your hands. Hence, I am choosing to liberate myself from my guilt, and writing it here, so I’ll never forget and make the mistake of wavering again.