musikkidonmission

-these are the modest musings of a follower- "following Him no matter the cost...He paid the highest cost for me."

[musikkidonmission]

The man who disowned me...

is in the hospital. I am not sure how to even feel about this. He is in ICU. The doctors say he will not ever leave. He can't survive without an oxygen machine. Apparently he has been having strokes and no one knew...and he has begun over dosing on his meds -- not realizing he had already taken his medication dosage for the day because he was so disoriented...and my brother found him passed out from a major stroke on the couch last Sunday. 

My father disowned me when I was a child and has abused me mentally and emotionally deeply for years. He abused my mother for years in every sense of the word. 

I don't hurt at all because he is in the hospital...I haven't cried tears over him being in critical condition. But I am concerned for his eternity...as I have never seen fruit that has shown he is a child of God. He has said he belongs to Christ at one time in his life but he has never lived like it -- and the Bible is clear that if we are true followers that our lives WILL bear fruit.  If this is true...(and we know the Bible is the infallible Word of God) then my father is not saved. So, I am concerned for the security of his eternity in spite of the way he has hurt so many over his lifetime. I have spent this week burdened about that. I don't advertise or push my blog...and I don't blog often. But if you see this...I covet your prayers for his salvation, and for my family. 

[musikkidonmission]

I should be working but...

I'm in a nostalgic, hard-to-put-into-words kind of mood. I also think the music playing over the speakers in the coffee shop right now is causing me to slip into a blogging, introvert, reflective state of mind. My mouth yearns to speak no words but my heart is full of many thoughts and desires. Parts of me are hurting. Some confused. Some numb...unsure how to feel. Other parts of my heart are thankful. Others still, quiet, content. I seem to feel a conglomeration of feelings...all conflicting with one another, yet all somehow seemingly in harmony.  Please do not ask me to explain, for I do not know myself how to explain, I only know that I am feeling all of these things and I need to allow them out in some way...and they just managed to find their ways out through the tips of my fingers. 

[musikkidonmission]

i'll want your new URL hun xx

hey sweet sister! My new URL is http://hiddenintheshadowofthecross.tumblr.com/ <3 

[musikkidonmission]

New Blog...

I will leave this blog here for me to save some things I don't want to lose, and I also want to leave it up so that it might be an encouragement to a browsing brother or sister.  My new URL is http://hiddenintheshadowofthecross.tumblr.com/ It's kind of long, but my explaination for the URL is already posted on my blog:)

[musikkidonmission]

So I believe I'm going to start a new tumblr...

After a super long tumblr break, I need a new start and I do not want to be focused in any way on number of likes, comments, etc. I will leave this blog up for reference of old stuff and in case it might be an encouragement to passerby. If you want to know my new URL when I create my new blog, message me :) God bless y'all!

[musikkidonmission]

Captured this on my iPhone awhile back and have been wanting to add text. His faithfulness is everlasting. He always has been, He is, and He always will be. He is constant. When everyone and everything in life that you should be able to count on fails you -- He will not.

[musikkidonmission]

I choose joy.

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I may or may not have just purchased my first pair of TOMS. The thought that I just helped a needy child with a pair of shoes too makes my heart want to explode with happiness. XD

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By the way...I've been gone for awhile. I have my own photography business now. :)

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Captured this moment at the lake the other day. Too beautiful for an edit. Just added the text :)

[musikkidonmission]

This is me. My hair isn't fixed, and my freckles exposed. No makeup and no edit on this photo. This is me. No enhancements to my facial features to make myself look "pretty." Three years ago, I wouldn't have been found in a public place without at least some makeup on ... Much less posting photos of myself "au natural." I want to tell you why I am today. This photo symbolizes the confidence I have in Jesus Christ. Because I opened myself, exposed and vulnerable to Him, and found His complete acceptance and perfect love...I can rest in Him! I am tired of fighting for acceptance from other people. In all actuality, even the people who accept you as you are will let you down...so if you place your self confidence in anything besides Jesus Himself, you will be left broken. Jesus looks at you and says, "Hey you. The one with the freckles and blemishes above your right eyebrow. I choose you." He says, "Child...the one with the heart that has been broken so many times...I love you with my perfect love. Come to me. I will put your heart back together." He says, "You with the speech impediment, the learning disability, the eating disorder, the insecurities pounded into you by society...I made you beautiful. You are my heart. Come to me and let me pour my love into you until it overflows." Hey you who hides behind that mask...He is waiting for you to come to Him so He can be everything you need. He wants to fix your brokenness and give you hope and a purpose for living. I know. He did it for me. 💗

[musikkidonmission]

The greatest desire of my heart is that He would be glorified in every part of my life - ESPECIALLY who I choose as my future husband. So much of my life I have spent worrying and making mental lists of what I want and don't want in a husband. Praise the Lord, I'm finding rest in Jesus. He will handle it. I need not fret nor search. He will bring it to pass in His perfect timing if I just rest in Him. And in the meanwhile? I'm learning to fall deeper in love with my First and True Love. So thankful. So peaceful in Him.

[musikkidonmission]

I've missed you too, beautiful!!! How are you, love??

[musikkidonmission]

I'm back!

I bet you guys thought I fell off the face of the earth - ha!

So, I took that social media break I was telling you guys about...and I have been back to facebook for a little while, but am just returning to Tumblr.

HELLO TO MY NEW FOLLOWERS! Please! Drop a note in my ask box and introduce yourselves! I'd love to 'meet' you!

I've missed you guys :)

[musikkidonmission]

--- Social Media Break ---

Hey y'all. 

I started my social media break yesterday, but realized that I posted a notice on my facebook and not on my tumblr! I've had a very hectic past couple of days! 

So, until further notice, I'm slipping out of the media world so that I can run wholeheartedly after Christ. I just want to retreat with Him -- apart from the things that are stealing my attention from Him.

I don't know how long I'll be gone -- Jesus and I are going to take our time. In the meanwhile, I'll be leaving my blog up so that it might be an encouragement to you, friends, while I am gone.

God bless each of you -- love and prayers.

[musikkidonmission]

Conviction - pt 2

Paul Washer has been one of the ways the Lord has been convicting me of my habit of being "sucked into" facebook and tumblr so easily. I will be going on my "facebook/tumblr hiatus" on Saturday. I want to share with you a few of the things that Paul shared that God really struck me with. ♥  "We have only one life...it is to be lived. The person who is consumed with living will not be consumed with media." 

"We have become a people who sit mesmerized by the make-believe of media whe life passes before us unnoticed."  "We were made to participate in real life; not to be passive observers of another's imagination, communicated through advanced technology." "We are to grab every moment & squeeze as much life out of it as possible. Christ made us for such things!" - all four quotes from Paul Washer

love and prayers <3 

[musikkidonmission]

Cross-eyed. Lovin’ my Jesus more and more every day :)