Musings By Moonlight

creative expression. writing. poetry. musings. self-expression. a creative space to document my thoughts, feelings and being. rhythmically exploring humanity and those unwavering feelings that tie us all together as human beings.

[musingsbymoonlight]

What’s new with the blog

Hey everyone! As you know, I’m back. I’ve been taking some time to think about how I want to go about using this blog. A lot has changed in my life since I used to update it regularly. I’ve grown, and I understand myself and what I want more than ever. Granted, I’m still the same in many ways, but I’m sure the change I’ve gone through will reflect in my writing. 

That’s why I’m going to focus on posting different material you may not be used to. To some of you, this may be great! To others, it may not be your thing and that’s okay too. I need to focus on what is important to me, and what I feel I can do to bring the most enjoyment and engaging experience to your life.

In order to do this I will be focusing on more of my passion: fiction writing - specifically, writing fictional novels. I’ll be talking about the novels I’m working on, while sharing short stories and snippets along with writing advice and things I’ve learned from undertaking a degree in creative writing. 

I hope you’ll join me on this new journey, as we delve deeply into fantastical words and refine the art of creative writing together. 

Expect my first official posts to happen over the next couple of weeks.

See you then!

[musingsbymoonlight]

I’m Back! Resurrected 2.0

Hey everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve updated here. Life has been crazy, as I’m sure all of you know. I’m excited to announce that I will be returning with regular updates as of 2019. I can’t promise that my words will be like they were before, a lot has happened and time changes a person, after all. But I can guarantee you fresh, renewed words from the person who is now me. 

Wishing you all the best in this exciting upcoming year, and looking forward to sharing with you all some more spilled thoughts and the dancing words inside my head.

[musingsbymoonlight]

Out of control, it’s taking over me. Feeling powerless against my own sanity. Yearning to have the will that others seem to. A lacking sense of boundaries, awareness and connection. Feeling betrayed by my own habits ofself-destruction. Light the fuse, flick the match. I’ll blaze like a burning sun, fall like dying star. I just need to be in my own mind, my own body. Hear what it tells me, feel what its sensing, be one with it. Whole, the puzzle pieces fit. So when I look into the mirror I can see the real me staring back.

The Real Me// Musings By Moonlight  (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

Is it so arrogant, and selfish to think, that you’ll never have another like me?I know love blooms in all places, your cup runeth over, with blessings between sheets.But still, I feel, with an unwavering kind of certainty, running deep to my core, you’ll never have another like me, not a single one more.

Truth or Arrogance// Musings By Moonlight  (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

It’s over, my final farewell to you. Release me from the thorny vines you wrapped around my heart. All hope I had in you - my dreams, my heart, my life - I blow it to the wind.Take it all, forever away, my heart you’ll never win again.

It’s Over// Musings By Moonlight (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

Love: a confusing, complex heartbeat. You soar high into the sky, fall deep into the dark shattered pieces of your heart. Love: it makes you sane, before it pulls you into the grips of insanity. It ebbs and flows, gives and retreats. If only it were as simple as I’ve been led to believe, instead of this web of tangled mayhem - building me up, tearing me down, building me back up again. I’m an addict tying to get clean, but the taste is so intoxicating, it takes over me.

Love: It Takes Over Me// Musings By Moonlight  (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

I often wonder how some people can love so intensely, then toss the person they cherished aside the very next day like a used rag. How can such burning passion be snuffed out in an instant? People like that are the worst kind of poison: they make you feel like you mean the world to them, before trampling you like dirt beneath their feet.

The Time You Broke Me In Two// Musings By Moonlight (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

How can you keep up when life becomes a flood? When it feels like it’s pounding on your door, crashing through your being, drowning you in its rivers of twists and turns? Sometimes you run and you can’t keep up, as it gushes through you. Like the Red Queen you run as fast as you can, only to remain in the same place: terrified to stop running and be thrown so far back you’ll never make it back again. And then there’s times where you see Life’s speed begin to pick up, you notice the colossal wave before it hits, and you feel eerily ready for it. Instead of washing you away it propels you forward, pushing you to greater heights than you could have ever dreamed, rushing you into a new life where nothing is how it has ever been.

Life’s Twists and Turns, Pt.1// Musings By Moonlight (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

Out of control, it’s taking over me. Feeling powerless against my own sanity. Yearning to have the will that others seem to. A lacking sense of boundaries, awareness and connection. Feeling betrayed by my own habits ofself-destruction. Light the fuse, flick the match. I’ll blaze like a burning sun, fall like dying star. I just need to be in my own mind, my own body. Hear what it tells me, feel what it’s sensing, be one with it. Whole, the puzzle pieces fit. So when I look into the mirror I can see the real me staring back.

The Real Me// Musings By Moonlight  (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

Sometimes I wonder why I still hold onto you, when it feels like I’m drinking poison.

Why Do I Do This To Myself?// Musings By Moonlight  (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

I Returned Like The Scurrying Rat

i returned like the scurrying rat: trampled, crippled - but only to rise again. where did I go? Spiralling down that endless rabbit hole  of existential uncertainty, I’m sure. life came crashing down upon me  (mangled body upon sharp rocks off the shore),  and still, i wonder how I made it through,  or rather, why? i thought I was better off without you, yet you danced in my mind in endless circles all this time. did I make the right choice when I took flight? so lost and confused was I those many moons ago (perhaps lost still, but at least now I know). fear disguised as rationality (rationality - for it creeps in like vermin hunting prey) i abandoned my post  - here with you all - For safe, seemingly secure walls. I missed you daily – that much is true,

but for so long I was imprisoned in denial,

i never really knew.   tumbling further down my rabbit hole, deeper I fled, trying always to flee my dread. (rationality - it creeps in like vermin hunting prey). sometimes I look back, with abject disbelief,  at how I could have eyes but refused to see,  how I could have a mind which could not think. the passage of time sharpens us all. (and to some it erodes like we’re a block of cold stone). but time has taught me this great reverie: to live without purpose, is to die without cause; to die without cause, is to have never lived at all. so if I’ll be the same age I would be if I never faced my fears,  never seized my passions,  and let rationality persevere  - then why wait, wonder and lament time lost? (it’s too late for me anyway, is it not?) for lost time only counts when we refuse, to heed our calling 

and fight our muse. (out of fear?         rat               rat                   rat

who can tell?

when terror rises within you,

you’re under its demonic spell) so, I’ll rise again, like the phoenix once more, and hope that you’ll join me, on this venture,

this mangled mess called life – down that winding path of the unknown. and who knows?

maybe something more is waiting beyond that door?

where my inner demons fade away,

so silent in their whispers,

and with bated breath I being a new day,

one where I am me - and that’s okay.

* (a little musing for you, dear friends, who chose to stick by me through my absence and end. your undiluted faith and patience humbles and astounds me - so I promise you, dear ones, to devote more time to this actuality). 

[musingsbymoonlight]

Sometimes I wish I were more afraid of death, instead of feeling this numb sense of apathetic acceptance for it. I see the way it terrifies people, like the icy chill of being reaped is closing in upon their heels - yet it propels them into action, into the unknown, into conquering their life. Sometimes I wonder if being afraid of death is actually the key to being alive: let the fear hunt you until your last bated breath, making sure every moment you spend here is actually living.

Death, Fear Not// Musings By Moonlight (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

In those silent moments, between stillness and time, my heart yearns for you, but I know you’re not right. So instead I’ll focus that love on someone truly deserving. But not you, oh no, long forgotten friend of mine.

Long Forgotten Friend Of Mine// Musings By Moonlight (via musingsbymoonlight)

[poems-and-word]

[musingsbymoonlight]

I often wonder how some people can love so intensely, then toss the person they cherished aside the very next day like a used rag. How can such burning passion be snuffed out in an instant? People like that are the worst kind of poison: they make you feel like you mean the world to them, before trampling you like dirt beneath their feet.

The Time You Broke Me In Two// Musings By Moonlight (via musingsbymoonlight)

[musingsbymoonlight]

Sometimes I wish I were more afraid of death, instead of feeling this numb sense of apathetic acceptance for it. I see the way it terrifies people, like the icy chill of being reaped is closing in upon their heels - yet it propels them into action, into the unknown, into conquering their life. Sometimes I wonder if being afraid of death is actually the key to being alive: let the fear hunt you until your last bated breath, making sure every moment you spend here is actually living.

Death, Fear Not// Musings By Moonlight

[musingsbymoonlight]

When I look up at the stars, they look back at me. It seems we are both the same; made of stardust and shimmering hope.

When the Stars Look Back at Me// Musings By Moonlight  (via musingsbymoonlight)