Musings of Submission

These are my musings about submission, domination, BDSM, the D/s lifestyle, my experiences, my lack of experiences, and the list goes on. I aim to be fairly neutral with my pronouns, but as my pieces are personal, sometimes I will be using masculine or feminine pronouns as I see fit. If you don't like it, well, sorry to hear that. But I'm not changing it. I have zero interest in being propositioned in any way. I am happy to talk to people, but will promptly start ignoring rude people. So, just don't. Kink is a place for adults, D/s is a place for adults. Keep following the logic, and if you're under the legal age, please be gone. And as a final note, I am really, really not a woman.

[musingsofsubmission]

Every year there's a new comic showing the past year beating up the world, and then the world ultimately winning only to be faced with the upcoming year in an infinitely stronger form.

But every year we end up beating it and we manage to get to the next one, and I just feel like that's pretty cool.

[musingsofsubmission]

"The men are most often degraded immensely, stepped on- literally, urinated on, made to do humiliating things, made to endure intense pain. " so what? some people like that kind of thing

There is porn the portrays people of all genders receiving this same treatment. Many are into it, myself included.The point I was aiming to make is that there is much less balance when it comes to submissive males in porn. There is very little porn that shows submissive men not being humiliated for it. To contrast with many videos and photos showing submissive females without the humiliation.

[musingsofsubmission]

I've gotten myself back on medication, I've gotten myself back in school. It will be a long climb upwards, but I intend to use the lessons I've learned along the way to make the path one worth walking.

The kind words from the people here are appreciated more than I can describe. I hope to be able to be an active member of this community again soon.

[musingsofsubmission]

Today, I logged into Tumblr for the first time in weeks. I'm surprised to see that I'm still gaining followers and my posts are still being interacted with. I'm glad people are able to find something worth reading in my words.

I haven't been writing. Recently, I haven't been reading and learning either. I feel like an imposter. Like I only want to submit for selfish reasons- I want it to clear my mind, I need it to give me structure because I can't get it myself. I spend more time wishing things were different than actually making a difference. I wear pajamas, at best, on any given day. I don't shower more than a few times a week. I don't eat properly and I never exercise. I let depression win.

I'm an imposter because I keep wishing and hoping for a Dom. Not so much to fix me as to help me. But I'm not the sub anyone is looking for, because I let depression win.

If I get better, I'll write again, I think. Until then, I believe it's best I just take a back seat and let the more experienced folk do the talking.

[pleasurewhore-deactivated201802]

Resolution Submissions

Resolution (noun):  A firm decision to do or not to do something.

You’ve probably seen a few posts about resolutions pass by in recent days. Everyone is focused on what they want to change and improve about themselves as we enter this new year.

Well, that’s not where this post is going. I want to concentrate on the things that are already great about who we are. Maybe I’m alone in feeling that all this focus on change can make us lose sight of what already makes us so fabulous, but I know I’m in a place where I need to see the good that already exists.

So I’m asking my followers to support me by sharing something that you love about yourself with us. Send a submission (anon or not), reblog or comment, and tell us what you’re resolving not to let change this year. Tell me what’s already wonderful about the person you are, because I don’t know about you, but I could do with a little bit of appreciation for how far I’ve already come.

And me? Well I’m good about letting the people I care about that they’re loved. I believe that actions speak louder than words, but we all need to hear the words every now and then too, and I make it a point to tell the important people in my life what they mean to me.

So help me out? Help me find a little bit of joy today and tell me what’s great about you! Please?

[musingsofsubmission]

I haven't made a New Years resolution yet, so I will now. This year, I will not let my faith in me change.

I've learned over the past few years to hope that I will one day be okay, and I think that's my biggest strength. Life likes to punch me in the face repeatedly, and this year, I will not let life take away my ability to hope for better days.

[musingsofsubmission]

Just finished watching Secretary (2002), and I have thoughts. So many thoughts.

[musingsofsubmission]

Red Flags?

I've spoken to a few people who call themselves Doms. Red flags everywhere, of course, but what does one do with a red flag?

The first one I'll speak about was an older gentleman. He had years of experience, knew who he was, what he was, what he wanted, his limits, his skills, all of it. I was interested in what he had to offer, up until he said something to the effect of "I wouldn't do x with you for a long time, because if we did do it, there would be no safe word." After a bit of conversation about what he actually meant, it came to light that he was using that statement hyperbolically, he just wanted to be clear that there's no wishy-washy way of doing x. He then said something along the lines of, "I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of what I said, we came to an understanding, it's fine."

I left.

The second one I want to speak about, is someone who is new to all this. He has fantasies and desires, knows what he thinks he wants, knows some of his skills. In a discussion of punishment, he said something like, "Maybe something like limiting contact for a day." After a bit of conversation, it came to light that he didn't understand the potentially harmful effects of that course of action. He just wanted an effective punishment. He then said, "My bad, I hadn't considered that side of things, let's consider something else then."

I stayed.

So what made me move past one exchange but not the other?

Red flags are just that: flags. They call your urgent attention to something that needs to be examined. Red flags do not mean run for the hills, they mean take a good, long, hard look at this. Many are false alarms.

One must be careful though, that they are not just explaining away harmful behaviour. Anything can be explained, not every explanation should be accepted. Consider someone's experience, the relationship you have with them, how many red flags have been raised before, how they react to being called out, how open they are to change, how effective they have been about changing in the past.

Context.

Red flags need to be put in context. In context, pale pink can turn blood red, but deep scarlet can also just fade away.

Red flags need context.

[musingsofsubmission]

It's a good time to be grateful for the people that you have.

They may tell you blood is thicker than water, but the truth of it is that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, and I think it's important to remember around this time of year when everything is about "Holidays with Family™".

[musingsofsubmission]

IT'S BEGINING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRIIIIISTMAS Look, I didn't have Christmas as a kid, let me have this.

[musingsofsubmission]

Small Victories

My dad used my correct pronouns in a work meeting today.

It's such a small thing, but it makes such a huge difference.

[submissivegames-deactivated2018]

The Princess and the Pea

“I need a tuck-in!”

The call from the bedroom would have confused anyone that didn’t know us. We don’t have kids. That was my wife calling from the other end of the house in a sing-sing voice. 

I got up from my desk and padded barefoot down the hall to the door and paused to stare at her. 

She had tossed all the covers aside and my eyes traveled up her sexy bare legs to the pink nightie that accented her hourglass figure, and up to her hair held in some loose pigtails of all things. She looked adorable, beautiful, and sexy all at once and my brain tripped on itself, unsure of how to process it all. 

She looked up from her phone and must have recognized what she saw there and liked it. A delighted and mischievous grin spread across her face. Her legs moved, rubbing against each other, drawing my attention and instantly exciting me. 

“booooy…. I need a tuck-ins and a goodnight kiss. I’m getting up early tomorrow.”, She said, and after a brief pause placed a finger on her forehead, letting me know it wasn’t ‘that kind’ of kiss goodnight that she wanted tonight. 

I was a little disappointed, but also a little relived. I did love kissing her goodnight between her legs for as long as she liked before she fell asleep. 

As I pulled up the blankets though and kissed her forehead, her hand flashed out and grabbed the front of my sweats, giving a squeeze and making me wince, the spikes in the silicone chastity cage biting into the head of my penis. 

She giggled at my reaction, “Thought so! The pea is all locked up tonight for princess!” 

I blushed and finished tucking her in, feeling myself swelling in the cage. It was a new favorite game of hers, guessing when I was in the cage and calling me out on it. 

“Don’t stay up too late playing!”, She said, squirming deeper into the blankets, still giggling. I gave her a pat on the bottom beneath the blankets as she turned beneath them. 

“I won’t. Just going to knock out a few games.”, I replied as I turned off the lights and left the room. 

Or, that had been my plan before I’d tucked her in. Now as I sat down at my computer I was considering tumblr, and if I was feeling masochistic or not. 

I had put the cage on after my shower for no more reason than because it was there. I didn’t really have a game plan, but one was starting to form. Two hours? Unless someone contacted me and ‘persuaded’ me to leave it on longer?

So I know what you’re thinking. What on earth is the story here? Is she my Domme? An I a slave, sub, or what? How is it that I’m deciding how long to keep the cage on?

Doesn’t fit in with your typical story, does it? Sort of breaks the norms and goes all over the place. But then, I think that’s what we’ve come to love it. 

See, she’s submissive, a bit of a little, sometimes a brat or a princess. 

While I’m a switch, sadist, masochist, caretaker. 

Seems like it would be a lot to deal with, a lot of crossed wires, but as we’ve come to know that we don’t have to slot ourselves into these porn story roles we’ve both been happier. 

I can be a caretaker for a brat while wearing a spiked chastity cage myself. 

I can kiss my princess goodnight between her legs seemingly subservient, but grab her legs and hold her beneath my tongue until I’ve forced so many orgasms from her that she passes out instantly after. 

She can feel taken care of ‘and’ owned, while at the same time giggle as I blush because She’s read a submissive post I’m writing over my shoulder. 

She can do the laundry in nothing but an apron, a good little girl, while I do the dishes in nothing at all, an attentive sub. 

The power play is there, but it’s such small shifts, so incredibly intimate, and yet all the more powerful for it. 

She gets to be the little, the sub, the brat, while I get to be the sadist, the slave, and the caretaker and somehow it all works. 

Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

Ignore the roles, ignore the lines in the sand, and do what makes you both feel good. That’s what’s important. 

Have fun with it.

[musingsofsubmission]

I confess, I don't reblog much (read: at all), but this.... This is just too fucking perfect, and it needs to be on my blog.

[musingsofsubmission]

Post for reference

Littles are a bit like dragons in Harry Potter, they are seriously misunderstood creatures. The range of littles I've come across is vast, from foot-stomping trantrum throwers, to diaper and pacifier lovers, to colouring book fiends, to people who just like to be, for lack of a better word, little.

I don't know where I fall into play, but I'm not sure it matters in this context. But I do have a few opinions on the matter.

Littles are, by definition, adults. So if a little cannot grasp maturity, or understand the necessity of mature choices, even in little space, then there is a problem. Perhaps there's a deeper psychological problem, or maybe they're just entitled brats, but regardless, there's a big problem.

Littles are also, by definition, little. A little needs attention, love, care, guidance. They need the freedom to express themselves openly and honestly without fear. They need to need, and for that needing to be okay.

These two things mix a bit awkwardly. On the one hand, one can know that their caregiver is busy, but on the other hand... Well, ATTENTION!

The way I know to get around it, and I think it's a pretty solid way, is by use of hyperbole where appropriate. So, no, I don't see myself interrupting a Dom to ask for attention, but I do see sending them several messages about needing attention more than oxygen and memes about disrupting their life to feed my attention addiction. Because, really, we neeeeed attentions!

[musingsofsubmission]

Teach a man to fish. If he continues to starve, you know what kind of man he is.

[musingsofsubmission]

Confidence is Sexy

It's true. I've seen it. I'm sure you've seen it too. Magazines, self help books, movies, and even tumblr blogs all about it from the rooftops.

You have to love yourself before you can expect others to love you! Confidence is sexy! Men want a woman who owns her looks! Women want a man who is not afraid to take charge!

The list goes on.

But I'm not confident. I doubt, often, that I'm worthy of any love at all. I tear myself down and dig myself into, frankly, pitiful spirals of despair. I don't think I can do anything I set my mind to.

So where does that leave me in all this? Is my lack of confidence a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I don't have the answers this time. But I certainly wish I did.

[musingsofsubmission]

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW ABOUT STICKER ALBUMS?!

THEY’RE SPECIAL ALBUMS WITH STICKY PAGES TO HOLD ONTO THE PAPER BACKING, AND THERE’S A PLASTIC SHEET OVER EACH PAGE YOU CAN CLOSE TO KEEP IT ALL IN PLACE.

^^LIKE THIS^^

It came to my attention that some might be unaware. I didn’t know I was sitting on a piece of life-saving advice for littles.

Reblog to save a life!

[pleasurewhore-deactivated201802]

I was completely unaware such a contraption existed. Then again I’m not really a sticker/coloring book kinda gal, but I know I’ve got some followers who are!

[asubmissiveview]

Now this is a product I would never guess would be repurposed. The older generation will remember these as photo albums.

[a-submissive-life]

The moment your heart breaks a little - I am officially part of the ‘older generation’ …. yes these used to be how photo albums worked.

[musingsofsubmission]

I should probably clarify. Yes, I know these are photo albums, no, I have never used them as such. Yes, I did think about just saying photo albums, but someone (*cough*) got me too excited about stickers to leave much room for thinking clearly.

[musingsofsubmission]

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW ABOUT STICKER ALBUMS?!

THEY'RE SPECIAL ALBUMS WITH STICKY PAGES TO HOLD ONTO THE PAPER BACKING, AND THERE'S A PLASTIC SHEET OVER EACH PAGE YOU CAN CLOSE TO KEEP IT ALL IN PLACE.

^^LIKE THIS^^

It came to my attention that some might be unaware. I didn't know I was sitting on a piece of life-saving advice for littles.

Reblog to save a life!

[musingsofsubmission]

PSA

"I'm sorry you got offended" is not an apology.

"I'm sorry I said that, I didn't know you were so sensitive" is not an apology.

"It's just a joke" is not an apology.

When someone is apologetic or regretful of their actions, their words and their actions reflect that.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, I will make my best effort to avoid x in the future," followed by effort to avoid the same pitfalls is an apology. Don't accept anything less.