More introspective. Looking inside. Thinking. Rather than speaking. Worrying. But hopeful.
[I’ve been in this kind of mood but haven’t been sure how well this would be received. It’s closer to my initial form of writing back when I first started years, and years, ago. I haven’t full out written like this on here, I think, so we’ll see how this goes. The member was requested but I put it off for so long that this will probably end up in the ‘Secret’ listing.] Enjoy?
Was there a way to put it into words?
Into actual words written down onto paper?
If he managed it, would it make sense?
Would you understand what he meant?
Then he sighed. What was it he even wanted to say? There was no way he could put it to paper if he couldn't even think them up.
How to describe the smell of your hair, of the feel of your skin under his fingers, the lightness in his heart at seeing your face.
He sighed just thinking about it.
How could he tell you about the music he hears when his ears catch the sound of your voice? The sound of your laugh?
The way your lips part when you call his name.
A shiver raced down his spine.
Wow.
He could feel a blush painting his face.
Was he becoming a pervert?
The other members would, absolutely, have a riot over his inner thoughts.
Good thing they couldn't read his mind.
A pause.
You seemed to be able to read his mind too well though.
He clapped his hands over his ears, as if the thoughts were going to spill out and everyone would know.
It didn't matter who knew as long as you didn't know. He couldn't let you know.
Anyone but you was fine.
He lowered his gaze to the table where his pen and paper sat.
Waiting.
Expectantly.
He wanted to put to words how important you were. Are.
He wanted you to know his inner thoughts and feelings. But he didn't want you to know.
Another sigh as he contemplated over his newfound complexity.
He's always said he loves you. He's never specified how--lover, family, friend--but he know how he would like to.
You've always responded in kind though you have never specified either. Did you love him like a lover? Family? Friend?
Was it too late to change?
Could he go from friend to lover? Someone like family to lover?
He licked his lips.
Maybe a poem?
He lifted his pen into his hand and placed the tip to the clean sheet of paper.
Maybe a song?
A song could be good. Maybe add it to the next album.
Another pause.
He changed his mind. He didn't want others to know how much he loves you.
He just needed you to know. He wanted to see your face light up in joy. To hear your voice call his name. To hear you reciprocate that declaration of love once more.
He could feel his blush coming back.
They always said guys weren't romantic enough.
He took in a deep breath and mustered up his courage.
For you he would be romantic. He would be open with you. Tell you everything on his mind. How he's dreamed of being in love with no one else but you.
He wrote your name at the top of the sheet.
The he smiled a bright smile to himself.
He wanted to see your face when he revealed all his feelings to you. And he wouldn't be able to do that from a piece of paper.
So, he skipped a few lines and wrote a simple:
"We need to talk because I love everything about you."
Signed a messy 'Woohyun' at the bottom and left it on your bag.
He hoped this would be the best birthday present you would ever receive.
Request: A combination of a bunch of requests I missed out on all for Dongwoo ; 3; Sorry I’m late.
Hi. Long time no see-nario [Why did I make this my terrible catchphrase?] I haven’t really been around. I’ve been swamped with work ; 3; And lazy. Also planning for a vacation for a couple weeks in March. Paid vacation, excitingly enough. So. This is to make up for my absence. Also for the missed birthday request I see in my inbox. Sorry I haven’t replied to asks/messages. I will try to do that later when I’m in a better mind set. I wrote this at the end of January....and I haven’t proofed it....Still I hope you enjoy?
You told him not to worry about it. He didn't have to take any time out of anything to spend time with you. Sure, you were a little sad you wouldn't be able to see him on Christmas. Or New Years. Or your birthday. Or Valentine's. You sighed at your desk. Maybe you did regret it a little. You would have liked to spend one of the holidays, or your birthday, with him. It was just hard to tell him to make special time for you when there was so much going on for him.
He was busy. Everyone knew he was busy. You could just see what people would say. 'Infinite's Dongwoo taking time to see significant other despite busy schedule'. It left a bitter taste in your mouth, though you were sure the news would be nicer to you than the fans. It was easy to remember because you are one. You would have felt just as upset if someone was forcing him to do something when he was so busy. He should be spending his free time resting.
You sighed into your computer again.
You were dating. Didn't you have the right to be a little selfish? Although you had to admit that you were a little shy of the limelight. So much so that after posting: "I miss him a lot." on Twitter in a fit of a severe lack of Dongwoo you deleted it when too many people seemed to be retweeting it. Why people wanted to follow you just because you were dating Dongwoo was still beyond you.
On the surface of your desk the screen on your phone lit up and you glanced briefly at the name. Most of you was hoping that it was Dongwoo.
Unfortunately, you loved him but not quite the same, Sungyeol's name was on your screen.
Seems like he's calling.
You can't really answer personal calls at work though.
As quick as it came the screen went dark. Looks like he hung up. Maybe he remembered you were at work?
Sure enough, a text popped up.
[have you heard from dwhyung?]
You chanced a glance at your boss to see that she was engrossed in her computer before unlocking your screen with one hand and typing back a quick: [no y?]
Then you locked the screen with a small frown. Short-handing text was always a weird feeling, but you didn't want to be caught either so you didn't really have a choice.
[said he was meeting u then left]
He didn't say anything to you. Not that you had seen anyway.
There wasn't really anything you could think to reply back to Sungyeol so you just let it go. When you went on your next break you would text Dongwoo and see what was happening and then get back to Sungyeol.
Sounded like a plan.
It did anyway.
Until your phone started going off like crazy.
Twitter again. Though you knew it wasn't from your embarrassing post from last night because it should be gone. Right?
A bunch of people, people that you don't recognize either, were mentioning you. Over and over and over. And you weren't sure why.
You peeked at your boss again and determining that the coast was still clear you unlocked your phone through a notification and you felt your jaw slip open. You could have caught a whole family of flies.
Everyone in the room turned to you when you shoved your chair back from your desk.
"Um." you sputtered out, "I'm going to take my break a little early."
After a glance around the office from your boss, and seeing that everyone was in their seats, she just shrugged, "Why not."
"Thank you!" you grabbed your phone with you and pushed your chair back in, someone will tell you when you get back that it was almost violent, and you rushed out of the room.
While in the elevator down you texted back Sungyeol. [I found him. Don't you dare check twitter!]
[too late] was his immediate reply.
Never did riding down nine floors feel so long. No one stopped you on your way down but it felt like it took five times as long as it usually did.
The tell-tale ding of the elevator let you know that you got to your floor and you rushed out of the hall and through the lobby, ignoring the guard who asked if you were all right--you'd apologize for being rude later, before bursting through the front door.
"I was just about to text you!" a voice laughed with a chipper tone. He was standing alone though there were fans who were standing a respectable distance from him.
"Dongwoo." you breathed out his name like a prayer, "What are you doing here?"
He smiled but you could see the light in his eyes dim a little at your words.
"Oh! Don't get me wrong!" you stumbled over your words, "I'm so happy to see you! But aren't you really busy?"
The light was back, "Never too busy for you, jagi."
Squeals came from the girls closest to him.
"How did you know I was here anyway?" Dongwoo asked, he lifted his phone so you could see and repeated, "I was just about to text you."
"We tweeted her!" a few girls shouted from the crowd.
"With your photo." another added in.
He just laughed, "Thank you."
You shook your head, your mind going almost blank at the sound of his laughter, "Why are you dressed like that anyway, Woo?"
You heard another few girls squeal at your shortening of his name.
"To make up for everything." he just chuckled nervously.
It wasn't a lie that you loved the man in front of you to pieces. Still, it was crazy just how, well, crazy he looked. Lovable, but crazy.
He was wearing a reindeer kigurumi with New Year's glasses hooked in the front, a birthday party pointed cone hat on his head and a heart shaped box tucked under his arm. He was literally the last few events all mashed into one.
He lifted the box, "Chocolates, jagi?"
You took in a really deep breath, tucking your phone into your back pocket, and rushed forwards to wrap your arms around him tightly. The box falls on top of his backpack, but you don't really care. The chocolates would be fine. You wouldn't have been if you didn't have him in your arms quickly.
Dongwoo just laughs softly, his breath brushing against your ear sending shivers down your back, and squeezes you back. The glasses are poking you in the chest but you also don't care much about that either.
"Merry Christmas." he whispers, "Happy New Year. Happy Birthday. Happy Valentine's Day."
You can feel your eyes welling up with emotion.
How did you make it so long without seeing him?
"Thank you." you kissed his cheeks in gratitude.
"No problem." he speaks as he kisses the shell of your ear.
Work is killing me. I’m so tired all the time lately, what with all the overtime I’m pulling. Anyway, a young kid came into the store holding a book that I feel like I haven’t seen since elementary school and I was inspired. Be forewarned that this is EXTREMELY short. I just had to get it out of my system before I go back to catch up on missing sleep. I thought it’d be funny and I feel like there are a bunch of you who will share my sentiments. If it gets you giggling just a little then I’ll call that a job well done :)
[* 3* Feel free to reblog with your work completed. *laugh* I know I make no sense now but it’ll make sense soon.]
An adjective describes a noun [blue chair, weird card, etc.] where a ‘how’ adverb will describe how something was done [happily eating, quietly talking, etc.] So if you guessed that the book I saw was a MadLibs then you were absolutely correct. For the member name...I’d love it if you stuck to Infinite members....though you won’t be able to use Sunggyu unless you really, really, want to *laugh*
So I was a little bummed to see that there weren’t a lot of theory guessing on the main page of comments, and the ones that I did find were about how the other members were dead and Myung was trying to join them which sounded too much like the whole BTS MV theories for my taste, so I’d like to take a stab at it. [Not on the YT video though....because I got carried away *laugh*]
Myung is our representation of Regret. It could be anything. A missed lover. A missed opportunity. All he knows is that it’s outside of the facility where he resides with the other members where they all try to keep him safe. Even though he escapes from the main room all the time the members always bring him back. I like to believe that Dongwoo, the Desperation to keep Myung safe, is the one who drags him back to the Eye of the Facility every time he gets out.
Myung's courage, Sunggyu, closes his eyes to what's outside. As we know, it takes much courage to look away from the 'What if's' and 'What could have been’s'.
The Hate that runs through his blood about his whole situation is Hoya. Just as our hate constantly keeps beating against us Hoya is constant in his struggle with Myung. But being eye-to-eye with Hoya quickly leads to Forgiveness in the face of Woohyun.
It never lasts though. Forgiveness is quick to fade, even if it's only because Myungsoo is quick to walk away from Woohyun. Then our Fear, Sungyeol, that comes at us from behind and traps us.
As Myung begins to break out again, before he leaves the heart of the Facility, his Sadness, Sungjong, tries to pull him back to safety. Sadness has a way to make us remember what's already gone wrong. It'll let you know that it could just happen again. Sadness will be with you no matter where you go. No matter what the weather is like.
He's finally leaving the Eye of the storm and he has to pause again as Woohyun tries to comfort him. Whatever it was that might have gone wrong wasn't his fault. It was never Myungsoo's fault. He just needs to forgive and forget.
Somewhere inside of him Myungsoo agrees but he can't just stop now.
So he continues.
He's traveling faster now that he's not on foot. He's quickly getting into worse and worse weather, it’s just a sign that he’s getting further and further from the Eye. To top it all off Hoya's back and as angry as ever.
Why does Myungsoo insist on doing this all the time? Why does he always beat himself up to leave the facility? If he just stays in the Eye he'll always be fine. Even if Myungsoo feels like he’s suffocating and his hearing is muted and his eyesight is limited, almost like the feeling of being put into a paper bag, he'll be safer there. In the car, Myungsoo takes solace in his Hate.
Finally he makes it to his destination only to find out--guess what? There's nothing there.
He made this whole trip, made the other members stressed with him, all for nothing. All he finds he can do is scream and cry. Then he feels it again. That stuffed in a paper bag feeling.
He looks up to the sky when a single light comes on.
It's Sunggyu's doing.
His beacon of Courage in the dark. In the storm. It's a sign to come back to the Eye. Where it's safe.
Myung once again Regrets leaving in the first place. But he also knows that this won’t be the last time this happens.
And the vicious cycle continues.
Closing thought: Even if you desperately regret things you've done or haven't done, even if you're angry at yourself or others, and you're afraid and hate everything, if forgiveness does nothing, just remember that a little courage will go a long way and will hopefully shine a path for you to safely walk along. Every opportunity is something you make for yourself. Have courage.
while lying in bed.....based off the cover it’s something that I don’t think I would have chosen to read by my own choice. But since it was recommended to me by one of you lovely people here I decided to give it a shot. Now...it’s due to the inner pessimist in me. The part of me that loves dark and horrifying, gory, things that can’t help but feel like things are going too well. I keep thinking something is wrong--that something bad is going to happen. But nothing has yet. It just feels like something terrible is planned!!
So....I just have a simple question to pose. Try not to answer by impulse. But. If your bias was a bad guy, like a real bad guy--like the villain of a series--would you still like him? Do you think you could come to like him?
Edit in:
@hoyable: So even if he was really bad you think you’d still feel the same? Woah * A * That’s dedication!
@ringstains: Do you think it would make a difference if he didn’t start off that way? Like, if he started off as a decent person but something changed in him?
@strangledwords: Well, I’m mostly asking for RL perspective. [Mostly because I know that most people won’t read it *laugh* Not a lot of people enjoy when I make them the bad guy. Even in a story.] I’m trying to debate how I want to write this out. And you guys always have really insightful opinions that I like to take into account~
@inshawol12: And so kind of like I asked ringstains above. Do you think it would matter if he didn’t start off that way? Do you think you’d like him less if he suddenly went 100%!psychopath from decent guy?
Erica will you be bringing the random bag to the BB concert? I've never had the chance yet to get a badge or charm from you yet and I would love the opportunity!
Pft~ This feels like of like Epik all over again. If you really want me to bring the Bag of Random Infinite things to a Big Bang concert then I can do that O 3O *laugh* I guess I’ll also let everyone know what to look for on that day as well. So, if you’re going and you see me please don’t be afraid to say something. Though...we might have lots of friends around can we please keep the scenario thing on the hushhush side? Hahaha!
Erica please be careful of the hurricanes heading your way! Don't do anything reckless while they're around.
I'll do my best? I mean, I'm off from work tomorrow, when it's supposed to be at its worst probably, but I do have to go to work on Friday and....well...even if it's a storm I gotta go. Y'know?But thanks for worrying about me ; U ; I'll try not to do anything silly [like climb on the roof while it's storming at stuff *laugh*]
Soooooo. Hi everyone. > 3> I haven’t been in the best mood to be writing scenarios. Aside from drawing and just watching episode after episode of anime....I just couldn’t sit and write. This is actually something I started, maybe a week, after I started working. It was because a customer came in with an interesting name and we had a good talk. So.....can I just say I’m amazed that no one has left? And that the number of followers I have actually increased. [Though I’m sure it’s going to drop as soon as I post this. Hahahaha!!] I made a small reference to something I said once in the past because I felt it linked well with the idea.
Anyway. I hope you enjoy? I hope this fills the Min Ki craving that so many of you filled my inbox with. :D I also apologize in advance if the flow isn’t good. I’m quite rusty. Like....I need a few tons of oil to be unrusty.....
Sunggyu wasn't sure what to call the expression on your face. It was distress but also sadness. Maybe even a little disappointment. It was hard to put just one name to what he saw. He had a feeling that you were feeling a strange mix of emotion.
"Oh." was all he heard you murmur under your breath.
Min Ki had glanced up at you briefly, like he was waiting for more for you to say, but when you said nothing more he returned his gaze to his coloring book.
Watching from the outside of the conversation, Sunggyu couldn't help but take note of the contrast between the two of you. Min Ki was coloring without a card in the world and you were standing in the kitchen with your shoulders slumped like your world was ending.
He wondered if he could say something that would make you feel better.
'You'll forget about this tomorrow'? No. You'd definitely remember.
'Don't worry about it'? Not that either. That would probably make you worry more.
'It's not a big deal'? Definitely not that. He could already imagine how angry you'd be if he told you that one.
He sighed behind his book. Who was it that told him things would be easier when he was married? If anything he worried more about things now that he was married versus when he wasn't. Well. That wasn't entirely true. He could probably get you a little angry and you wouldn't break up with him for it.
Would you?
He sighed again. Today wasn't the usual day for this but he really needed the back up.
Sungjong watched you with a curious gaze. Sunggyu knew that as soon as Sungjong saw you he knew something was up.
Sungyeol was telling a funny story about something that happened to him, Dongwoo was already in a giggling fit, a fit that you were usually part of. They all knew how much you enjoyed Sungyeol and his jokes and stories, even if the guys didn't think they were that funny. But you were sitting and staring blankly at him.
When his story was finished Sungyeol looked at you and wrinkled his nose, "Was that one really not funny at all?"
You blinked, snapping yourself out of your daze, "Hm? Oh, no. It was really funny, Yeol."
His gaze narrowed and he raised a brow at you, "You're not fooling anyone. You didn't hear a word of my story just now, yeah?"
You opened your mouth to deny it but under the stare of 7 pairs of eyes you just sighed and nodded in truth, "Sorry."
Sungjong shifted closer to you and grabbed your hand in his, "What's wrong? Today isn't our usual day to hang out but when Sunggyu hyung called we all came to try and cheer you up. You know you can always tell us anything."
You took in a deep breath and clenched your teeth together.
"And don't think it's something too silly to complain about." Sungyeol jabbed a finger in your direction, "Because you listened to Myungsoo talk about a bleach spot on one of his shirts for an hour."
"It was a good shirt." Myungsoo spoke.
"Not one worth talking about for an hour." Hoya snorted, "You could have covered the spot with a sharpie or something."
Myungsoo made a face, "It would probably just wash out."
Sungjong rolled his eyes and turned back to you, "Just ignore them."
The banter between the other three had put a small smile on your face, now that you were listening, but Sungjong's serious tone of voice brought you back to your own misery.
"You promise you won't call me silly?" you mumbled.
The look on Sungjong's face said it all. 'When have I ever not taken your serious problem un-seriously?'
The argument between the other members stopped when you started in a stronger tone of voice, "This morning--"
He could hear his Uncle Sungyeol telling a story. He couldn't tell what kind of story but he really wanted to hear it.
Sure, it was past his bed time but if he said that they woke him up he was sure his parents would let him stay up with them for a little until he fell asleep again.
It wasn't fair that adults got to play around with their friends at night but kids had to sleep. He really wanted to be a part of the fun.
When Min Ki got to the door frame of the living room he realized that it got really quiet all of a sudden.
Had all of his uncles just left?
"This morning something happened with Min Ki." he heard your voice speak.
Min Ki crouched down in the corner between the door frame and the hallway. He could just go in but he'd wondered if they talked about him when he wasn't around. This would be a great chance to hear all about himself.
"What'd he do?" Sungjong asked.
"He told me that he wants to change his name when he grows up." your voice dropped a little in volume.
Min Ki wasn't sure what to make of the intense silence that followed.
"Did you tell him how important his name is to you?" Dongwoo asked you hesitantly.
He didn't need to see you to know that you probably told his uncle 'no'. Because you didn't.
Min Ki didn't know that his name was important.
"I don't want him to hate me if I tell him I don't want him to do it." your voice was shaking as you spoke, "And if he's an adult who wants to change his name, then who am I to stop him?"
"You should at least tell him what his name means to you." Woohyun voiced his thoughts, "If he never knows then he'll never know."
Even from his hiding place he could hear the sniffles in your voice as you thanked them all for their words.
He didn't want to ruin that.
So, Min Ki turned around quietly and headed back into his room.
He clambered back into bed and reached towards his lamp and flicked it on. He needed to be fast for, surely, someone would notice the light on in his room. He grabbed his coloring book and crayon and flipped to the very last page.
His eyes scanned over the list of names he thought would be cool to have when he was older and, one-by-one, struck each one out with a solid line.
Suddenly none of them seemed more important than the name his parents gave him.
When they were all scratched out he put his things back beside his lamp and turned out the light. In the morning he'd apologize for wanting to change his name.
Min Ki was sitting at the breakfast table before you'd even started breakfast. It was a little unusual. He was definitely a fan of sleeping in on the weekends.
When he heard you come in he turned around quickly to meet your eyes. You noticed that they were a little red and puffy as if he was crying in the night. You couldn't help but feel he looked exactly like you did.
"I wouldn't ever hate you." he started, "Even if you told me I couldn't change my name."
You cocked your head to the side and gave him a gentle stare, "What are you talking about, Min Ki?"
"I changed my mind!" he stuttered, his eyes filling with tears, "I really love my name! I love the name you gave me!"
Sunggyu walked up behind you rubbing his eyes, "What's going on?"
After a deep inhale you turned to Sunggyu with a bright smile, "Min Ki says he's going to keep his name!"
"Oh." was all Sunggyu said. He smiled back at you. There wasn't much that needed saying. He was just glad that you looked better than yesterday.
"But, Min Ki." you called out to your son, "If you want to change your name later that's fine too. As long as you're happy and as long as you don't mind that I might still call you Min Ki, then it'll all be okay."
He vehemently nodded his head, "I'll keep my name forever!"
"Sure!" you replied back, "Now, who's ready for breakfast?"
"Me!!" Min Ki shouted and plopped back down into his seat.
"Need any help?" Sunggyu asked, his hand resting on your hip.
"Nah. I'll be fine." you smiled. You were sure you were going to cry from happiness in the kitchen; you really didn't need Sunggyu around to see and teas you about it.
He took a seat as you stepped into the kitchen.
The next thing you heard was sure to make Sunggyu tease you about it for the rest of your life.
"When I get older," Min Ki started telling Sunggyu, "I'll name my baby Min Ki Jr."
Sunggyu's laughter both warmed your heart and sent a shiver down your spine.
Erica? Are you doing well? I really miss you, love. We all really miss you and not just your writing.
I’m doing as well as I can be, I guess.....
Can I just take a moment to vent?
[Rant begins here]
My sister, a year younger than me, isn’t working. She isn’t looking for work. She isn’t going to school. Yet, she has the nerve to tell me, after a full 8 hours of working while I’m resting and just catching up on videos, that I’m lazy because I won’t take down the garbage. = 3= She stays at home doing nothing 24/7 and she called me lazy. Not for the first time. Not for the 10th time. Not even for the 100th time. And my dad agreed with her. He isn’t working. He isn’t looking for work. He hasn’t worked in at least 9 years. I’m sick and tired of it really. I’m slowly breaking inside and I used to be strong but I’m rusting over.
Guess who took out the garbage? Did you guess that it was me? Well, you’re right.
I’m sorry that I haven’t been around lately but I just haven’t been in the right peace of mind. I just haven’t been able to rouse up something loving and creative when I’m just crying inside. It’s not even the fault of the job. I love the people I work with and while there are customers sometimes that grate on you, I’d rather deal with 1000 angry customers than deal with my own sister and dad. Like, what kind of world have I put myself into? *laugh...*
[Rant ends here]
Sorry.
I recently interviewed for another job, and office/desk job, if I get it I think I’ll be under less strain but....I’m afraid that I can’t make any kinds of promises. My next day off is Saturday so here’s hoping that I can just relax and write ; 3;
Sorry to all the people who have DM’ed me and not gotten a reply. I just....haaaaahhhhhh. I will promise that I will get back to each and every one of you because I’ve read your replies to me and I want to talk so bad. When I’m finally all right in the head I will be so excited to hear back from you all!
Thanks everyone for your patience with me. I know a lot of you rely on me for scenarios but....in due time. In due time. Thanks again.
OHHHHHHHH~ How I love and adore this piece~ I was told that I could make Myung as OOC(Out of character) as I like but I think I did a pretty good job of keeping it all in one, believable, tone. The best part about him being completely awkward is that I can write him however I please and, since we haven’t seen this side of him, I could be 1000% correct. Though I doubt I am *laugh*. But this was so fun to write! I reverted back to my younger days of writing with the style but it fit the piece so well that I couldn’t resist the urge to write it as I did. This is now one of my favorite Myung scenarios~ (//U//) This was also meant to be a secret scenario but I’d rather you know right off the bat, even if I don’t call him by name immediately, who it is.
Eeee~ Let me know if it makes you giggle like I did writing it~ And I hope you enjoy? [Sorry I haven’t been doing much or replying to asks and DM’s I haven’t been up for much lately ; 3; Standing 8 hours a day, 5 days a week makes it hard to sit in front of a computer for long periods of time. I’ll get to asks/DM’s tomorrow hopefully!]
Oh, they would have a field day if they only knew. Some parts of it had leaked already, parts that were extremely hard to contain, but for the most part he always thought he did a good job of keeping most of it hidden.
Of keeping his inner self hidden.
Yet, in front of you he always found that more and more of it came out. Surely you'd already figured out that he was a strange one and you'd never want to talk to him again. So why was it that you kept coming back? Why was it that you always looked happy to see him?
Why was it that you embedded yourself so deeply into himself that he couldn't think of much else but you?
Ah.
This must be what they call 'love'.
The wonders of just a single word, he mused to himself. How just one word and one feeling could change him so.
He wanted to impress you. He wanted to charm you. He wanted to be able to woo you, successfully. Hopefully.
But if the other members caught wind of how he felt he had a feeling that it wouldn't go well. All they could tell you was about him as an idol and, when he really thought about it, that wasn't the best representation of himself.
Goodness, what if you'd seen their movie and saw him crying. He buried his face in his hands; how unmanly must he seem right now? No. If you'd seen it, you would have said something by this point in time. If you wanted to break off your connection--he knew you weren't that kind of person though, it was just his mind thinking the worst of the worst, you seemed the type to tease him about it but not the type to sever ties because of a little crying--with him about that it would have been much sooner in your 'relationship'.
His heart gave out an unsteady beat when he thought of it as a 'relationship' even if most others would just classify it as a 'friendship'. No matter what it was called he cherished it. It was important. That much was enough.
At least it was enough for now.
And now was only a moment in time.
Now was already over.
He craved to keep your smile to himself. He wanted you to laugh only for him. To smile only at him. To love only him.
He knew it would be too much though. He knew, he just knew, that you could make anyone love you. It was only a matter of time till you swayed the heart of someone brave enough to ask you out immediately. Just imagining you telling him you loved someone that wasn't him made his chest ache in a way he'd never felt before.
Didn't that just mean he had to move first?
He watched you laugh at the story you were telling him, a story that he could repeat back word-for-word even though he'd been deep in his own thoughts and worries, and he imagined being able to say you were his.
And to hear your voice, bright and warm, saying that he was yours.
A shiver raced up his spine at the very thought of it.
How he wanted to hear that. How badly he wanted to hear that.
Even if you were joking.
Well, okay, not joking. He knew himself well enough that if you said those words he so desperately wanted to hear then followed that up with a small 'Just kidding' he'd die. Except, not really die. It would probably feel like what dying feels like, he assumed.
"Myungsoo?" you called out to him and he met your eyes immediately.
"Hm?" was his small response.
"You looked like you were really far away for a second." you smiled as you spoke, your hand wrapped securely around the other.
"I was committing your story to memory." he grinned back.
You laughed, "You really don't have to do that. It's not like I'm going to quiz you about it or anything."
"You could." he challenged, "I'm sure I'll get full points."
"I have no doubt you will." you just laughed a little more.
He knew that you knew he would.
It made his chest warm inside.
He loved it.
In the split second it took him to take in a calming breath he did his best to try and channel ‘L’ rather than ‘Myungsoo’.
He called your name and had to tamp down on his urge to smile right at you. He was cool right now! He had to maintain that!
"Do you ever think about dating?" he asked, his inner voice much more hesitant than the voice he actually heard come from his mouth.
You cocked your head to the side, a sight he had in the Top 3 of his favorite things you do, and asked, "Why do you ask that?"
"Don't you think it'd be hard to have a relationship if we're hanging out all the time?" he was proud of how nonchalantly that came out. He was prying a little, but he was playing it really cool.
"I prefer hanging out with you." was your instant reply.
His heart was soaring in his chest when it floated back down slowly. Did you mean you liked it better with him because you liked him better? Or did you just mean you liked him better because you weren't dating?
He was torn between taking that as a compliment and taking it as an insult.
Was he always this complex?
He could feel you staring at him intensely. So intensely he was sure you could light him on fire. Oh. Was that what they meant by his serious gaze? Ah. It all made sense now.
"Myungsoo." you spoke his name in all seriousness, a tone he didn't hear from you that often. You liked to keep your conversations lighthearted.
"Yes?" his voice nearly cracked, a sure sign he was slipping out from being ‘L’ and into being ‘Myungsoo’. Maybe if he hadn't answered until you called him 'L'? But you might have become annoyed by his unresponsiveness.
He sighed inwardly. Apparently he was extremely complex. So much so that he confused himself about himself.
"Are you trying to ask me out?" as soon as the question was out of your mouth he could almost feel his blood run cold.
You'd figured him out.
You hit the nail directly on the head.
And it was like it was his very own head.
It hurt.
"Um..." was all he managed to sputter out. Shoot. He was completely Myungsoo again.
"If you are, I accept." you smiled.
His heart was racing a marathon and zipping past the finish line. He was positive that he could run another 2 or 2 hundred marathons.
"What?" was the only thing he could find to say.
"I like you." you spoke assuredly, "And I like to think that you like me too. At least, I'd like to think that now, if you don't mind?"
What should he say? His brain was screaming that he should say ‘yes’. He should say something. Anything!
"I do like you." he spoke quicker than he ever had.
He watched your slightly tense face brighten into a real smile, "Thank goodness."
His heart was probably blushing at your smile now. He'd have to shift your head tilt down in his favorites list. The look on your face now was his Number 1. Wow.
"You actually like me? Really?" his hesitant voice came out before he could stop it.
You just continued to smile, "Of course. I have. For a long time."
"Even though I was always Myungsoo with you?" he asked what he needed to hear. Now was the moment of truth. Your words now were going to decide everything.
You froze for a second.
He matched you.
Then your eyes narrowed and you laughed louder than he'd ever heard you laugh. He could see tears of laughter starting to form.
"You've always been Myungsoo." you wiped your finger against your dampened eye, "Even when you think you're being ‘L’ you're still ‘Myungsoo’. Anyone who says otherwise just doesn’t know you well enough."
That was his favorite thing to hear you say. Until you uttered the words that you loved him, that would be his favorite thing you'd ever said.
"I mean, you even cried in your movie." your soft laughter just warmed his heart through the gentle teasing.
who are your favorite HQ players? is your faveorite player on your favorite team?:)
HNG. That’s like asking if I have a favorite child ; 3; [Though I don’t have children *laugh*]
I do have favorites though. Since Karasuno is my favorite team, I mean they’re the whole series’ protagonists, my favorite member would probably be from there [Karasuno was an easy choice since their mascot is a crow * U *]. My favorite Karasuno player is Noya :D But from the other schools there’s: Aoba’s Iwaizumi, Nekoma’s Kenma, Johzenji’s Terushima [Goodness, his tongue piercing * A *], Fukurodani’s Akaashi, Date’s Aone, Shiratorizawa’s Ushiwaka. So I think I have a favorite from every major team *laugh* My favorites are all kind of...all over the place though O 3O Mostly the quiet types. Hahaha!
Something just a little small ; 3; I’ve been quite swamped lately. Lots of training and sleeping. I had this partially written so I just capped it off today and...well..tahdah~ :)
This is part of a set, though you don’t have to read the others, with: Render, Discovery, Sly, and Ceremony. So if you’ve read those you know what vibe this one will have. Anyway, I do have a few other things in the works but since I only have 2 days a week off....things might take me a while. OTL
The upside! I have opened requests. So if you have requests feel free to send them in. BUT! I will only be working on the ones that spark something in me along with finishing up the requests I still have and writing things I think up myself O U O)b With all of that out of the way, I hope you enjoy?
He wanted to tell you so many things. He wanted to be able to tell you how your laugh gave him butterflies in the pit of his stomach and how, when your eyes met his, his heart performed little flips in his chest. He wondered if this was the same feelings fans got from him when their eyes met or they heard his laugh.
If so, it was a painful but wonderful feeling.
A sigh escaped his parted lips.
It was even harder on him when you were right there. All it would take is to let his voice out, instead of the endless stream of sighs, and just call your name. He shook his head. It wasn't like him to be this hesitant! All he had to do was pep up and speak.
After a few deep inhales and exhales he opened his mouth but the voice that sounded through the room wasn't his own.
Hoya sped into the room calling your name once more.
That was the voice he heard.
He watched from the sidelines as Hoya told you something in an excited voice. Then you smiled at him.
Your smile.
His heart picked up the pace again.
If only he had asked you out first.
He shook the thought from his mind. He couldn't let himself start thinking that way. As soon as he started to think that way he would hate himself for thinking he could be better for you than Hoya.
It didn't stop him from thinking about all the 'what ifs'.
'What if he actually was your boyfriend? What if he could lace his fingers in yours? What if he did some aegyo and you found him extremely endearing? What if you liked him back?'
He was brought back into reality when he heard Hoya speak a quick farewell and then run back out as quick as he had come in.
"Is he going somewhere?" he asked you when you met his eyes.
You smiled, "He's going out with friends or something. He was really too excited for me to understand properly. Maybe something about a dnace lesson?"
He chuckled softly, "Hoya does get excited for those."
"He sure does." you laughed back.
He couldn't help but think how happy you looked even though it wasn't about you.
"Well, since he's going out," you started with a grin, "How about we make a really delicious lunch and make him jealous that he wasn't here."
Woohyun laughed, "Sounds like a good idea to me!"
He stood from his place on the sofa and stuck out a hand to you. He loved how quick you were to put your hand in his.
Maybe you were only looking at him as a friend but he was happy for that. This comfortable distance between the two of you was something he treasured after all.
No matter how he looked at it, spending time with you was always a good situation. Even if it was just as friends. And even though deep inside he wished it was more.
It might seem out of the blue, but I recently went through a small job interview, it’s just as a cashier O U O, and I’ve been hired full time starting the 13th-ish of this month. I figured that it was only fair to let all of you know, as there are many of you who have been with me this whole way and so many new and lovely readers, that I might not be around as much ; 3; This is not a quitting notice, this is a notice to let you know that while I currently reply to asks as promptly as possible....I might not reply for a longer duration of time. I sincerely apologize in advance!
So there are lots of you who worry about me but if you don’t hear from me in a week or more, please don’t worry too much. I don’t have a full work schedule planned out as of yet so I’m not sure what two days of the week I’ll have off. You can be sure that I will aim to work harder on scenario on my days off [I have a feeling I’ll need scenarios to wind down OTL]
