know i have not posted much lately but i just have to say. fuck whoever it is that, sometime in my formative years, growing up in conservative lutheran farm country midwest in this capitalist hellscape of a society, taught me that anything and everything that is worth doing and is good and useful must be HARD WORK and will require PAIN and SUFFERING--literally! physically!--and the denial of immediate joy. that happiness is irrelevant and nothing that comes easy will ever bring you the sort of satisfaction that hard work will. that learning and growth will always suck and be hard but if you're not doing it, you're twice the failure you would be if you were trying.
fuck you, thieves of joyful exploration. fuck you, gatekeepers of ease and endless wonder. what if--what if? --i had been taught that i could learn by asking that of the things that were easy and fun and finding a thousand other what-ifs in the process?
nothing is ever going to be easy all the time. some things do take hard work and often the learning process is frustrating and, yes, can suck. but even the things that suck don't have to be painful forever, and NOTHING is worth doing when the mentality you're living in is one of suffering and shame. that, above all else, is what is going to hold you back from seeing how far you've come and imagining how far you can go.
