tired & dumb

they/it

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[hikikomoriheadphonegirl]

[sleepyminty]

They about to crash at each other

[arkobit]

IT'S FINALLY FINISHED. MY THUMB IS KINDA NUMB. WOOHOOO!!!

EDIT: Updated version. Old version in reblogs!

[dragon-in-a-fez]

what the medicine packaging says: "new and improved orange flavour!"

what I expected: orange juice

what I got: the taste of your parents just told you they're getting divorced, and your mum said she was taking you out for ice cream after but she actually took you to the "healthy" frozen yoghurt place and would only let you order the non-dairy orange cream soda flavour

[anxiety-banana]

hello i would like everyone to know that sometimes you can sob your eyes out and have an existential crisis one moment and then suddenly you're booking your driver's test and applying for jobs and crocheting a blanket and maybe life isn't so bad anymore!! maybe you can feel awful and fix your life anyway!! maybe you're allowed to be a wreck and still be good enough!! i am a full on adult and have avoided getting my license for years but now i'm finally doing it because i've grown around the fear!!!! the world didn't crash and burn when i was fifteen!! i did this for myself and i'm going to be okay!!

[stevishabitat]

[anxiety-banana]

the way i am shaking with tears is an understatement I'VE BEEN QUOTED

[stevishabitat]

I'm printing it and taping it to my mirror BTW

[the-haiku-bot]

I’m printing it and

taping it to my mirror

BTW

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[danganphobia]

Alright you guys seem to like my teacher au shenanigans so here’s qifrey intervening on olruggio’s bachelor pad post break up featuring reddit and facebook marketplace.

[mochiiknight]

Stop asking me for vending machines on my beaches!!!!! This is not design by committee!!!!!!!!

[zestivivi]

The sensei💫✨

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

every child should have a specific stuffed animal/toy that they develop an antagonistic relationship with

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

some of my most significant core memories involved getting into heated arguments with the furby who lived in my closet. essential component of my pre-teen character development. necessary anguish

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes small children will inflict years of torment & waterboarding on their victims before burying them in an unmarked concrete grave, that's just part of growing up

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the post that keeps on giving (via @zenyeetaa):

#okay we weren’t children when we did this but me and some old roommates kept a baby doll in the freezer #at first it was to jump scare the next person who opened the freezer #but he was in there for a few months and then when we decided it was time to pull it out a bunch of fires broke out across our county #so we put him back in the freezer. we named him chippy and drew a mustache on his face #we tried pulling him out of the freezer a few times after that but some horrible event would happen every time without fail #when we moved apartments we had a special cooler to bring chippy with us #as far as i know chippy is still in a freezer somewhere

[yakichoufd]

[lewadny]

happy june to everyone, especially my fellow aroaces

[lewadny]

Listen

LISTEN

I'M SCREAMING THE MAIN SEQUENCE *IS* THE AROACE FLAG WHAT

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[mattpresents]

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

[mademoiselle-red]

So I’m reading the Witch Hat Atelier Kitchen manga, and it’s really sweet how Qifrey and Olruggio act like a married couple in this series

[bumblebeebats]

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

[bumblebeebats]

i must stress that he's never seen the original comic. My mother simply showed him the shorthand symbol and he memorized it. As far as he is aware this is just a fucking hieroglyph that deals instant psychic damage to everyone under the age of 30

[bumblebeebats]

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]