i just saw a video of starving cats eating the bodies of dead palestinian children in gaza & as desensitized as i thought i’d become, this bore another hole in my chest. i’ve had these conversations with people in real life, i’ve changed at least two people’s minds from supporting israel to being disgusted with them, i don’t really know what else i can do. it’s hard to just exist in a time where all your happiness is tainted with guilt, guilt at your privilege, guilt for every time you neglect to feel gratitude for how good you really have it, guilt at your powerlessness. a time where the balance between caring about world issues & keeping yourself from drowning in hatred & cynicism, is almost impossible to find. a time where it doesn’t even fucking matter whether you look overseas or in your own country, or your neighbour’s, everything is fucking shit. i don’t want to hear so much of this that i can’t live my life, that i lose my fucking mind understanding that money & power make the world go round, & that’s fucking it. i also don’t want to become desensitized. that’s what they want. i don’t want to ignore the voiceless & the oppressed. i don’t want to take my privilege or my safety for granted. sometimes i feel like they’re observing how much we can take as a society without breaking down. how much collective trauma we can endure while still functioning day to day. & sometimes i feel like their goal is for the whole world to know they rape, kill & eat children & we either look away, convince ourselves that our own eyes & ears lie, or hate ourselves & each other for not being able to do anything.
blakekathryn
ellievsbear
titsay
snowghoul
