If it's alright to ask, how was the process of asking your sister out? Like, how did you work up the nerve and what finally made you realize that you could, if that makes sense? Were there clear indicators she felt the same, (and/)or did you have to at some point take a leap of faith?
i really want to ask my sister out, but i'm so so so anxious. i keep trying to "test the waters" so to speak by sending flirty memes and stuff and she always responds positively, but i convince myself that that doesn't mean anything, you know? (She's also indicated she'd kiss me for a discount on Valentine's Day, and she got me a collar [with her birthstone in the heart pendant attached to it, at my request], and she keeps giving me expensive gifts, and every time we see each other [we can only meet up in person every once in a while] we cuddle and she puts her arm around me so i can lay my head on her chest, and all of this objectively sounds like clear indicators, but i'm worried i'm misreading it.) Our mother also has subtly(?) indicated she'd be supportive of us on multiple occasions. But i'm terrified that i'll ruin my relationship with my sister if i say anything and i'm kinda waiting for her to say something but i don't think she will/would, but... at what point do i just have to ask and hope that it goes well? Were there any questions you were able to ask your sister to get a feel for if she'd be receptive without revealing anything?
(Sorry if these questions are too personal, or if i'm oversharing)
Sorry for asking anonymously, but my sister knows my username lol
i honestly think that there's no way to really know when it comes to this stuff, and you've just got to take a leap of faith anyways. the circumstances around how me and my sister started dating are pretty fucked (like, very unpleasant to revisit because of events happening at the time with other people) but it was a bit similar to what you're going through right now. the main difference was that she was in college at the time while i lived a few states away, so we were just talking over discord and doing calls together, which ended up happening pretty much every night. there was definitely some romantic feelings in their from the start, or at least the notion of them, with her saying stuff like "if i ask you out please reject me" and me responding with "what if i don't want to :p" pretty early on to when we started talking regularly again, and like while i always had a crush on her from pretty much the moment we met, my feelings for her built up until they just became too much for me to bear. i kinda did the cowardly thing of asking if she was okay with all the flirting we had been doing and saying that i thought i was getting feelings for her (which was a lie, i knew i had feelings for her by then lol) which she didn't immediately reciprocate but she did say that it made her really happy to hear it, and then that night she ended up asking me out and we started dating!
based on what you've told me, i think you're at that breaking point in the relationship with your sister where there's really no possibility to keep going in this 'plausible deniability' phase. admitting that you have incestuous feelings is fucking terrifying, even moreso if youre admitting them to the person you have feelings for, but there's just some things that you have to take a chance on.
