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Moving forward.

My period of introspection was so fulfilling. Is it weird that I feel lighter? I feel like i’m more in control of my life and what direction I want it to go in. I think we can easily become so consumed with living a society-approved life, or often doing or posting things to gain others approval or jealousy. I no longer want to live that way. Our addiction to social media and living a certain perceived lifestyle is completely overrated and a waste of energy. Life should be about living and giving back when and as often as you can. I’m ready to start living a purpose-filled life. I never truly dreamed before or imagined my life farther than one year but I’ve finally come to a good understanding of where I want to take my life. This will require me to be connector, challenge my introversion and be vulnerable in so many ways. I’m making peace with my past to receive more in my future. I was holding myself back because I became comfortable, distracted... average. I’m grateful for where I am today and what I’ve been blessed with and I ready to build more for myself. This will take YEARS of dedication and discipline but I’m ready. Stay tuned for the greatness to come.

I’m on a new level.

It’s most certainly unreal that a whole year has passed and just how much is different in every aspect of my life. Life has been good to me lately. I was able to accomplish most of the more broader goals that I set for myself and I’m working on the ones more closer to home now. For the past few weeks I’ve been struggling to unpack my inner conflicts. I’ve noticed a change in my behavior, mood and overall focus. It was most apparent in my eating and health habits which were almost entirely abandoned. I started eating out daily and stopped working out, which I believe has also impacted my mood. But I really wanted to know where this change stemmed from and a part of me believes its because I have become comfortable and in other words unmotivated. I’ve also felt immensely drained and in dire need of a fix or change in my life. I found myself consumed with social media, television, unrequited guy obsessions and in places that were simply just a waste of time. I know now that these events were an indicator that it was time for me to refocus and regroup how I live and who is in my life. I know this is turning point for me to get my next level. &“Every next level of your life will demand a different version of you.”

Therefore, the following months will require a new kind of commitment and focus. It will require me to question and answer topics that make uncomfortable, confront people and be honest with myself. I need to make sure I’m living a life of purpose and there’s more to my life than whiskey sours and shaking my ass. I’m not saying my 20s shouldn’t be enjoyable in that way but I want to see more coming out the things I do daily and that shouldn’t be just a high bank statement. I have to be future-oriented as well. So I’m searching within myself to see how I can live my best life. Enough of the regular and mediocre stuff I’ve been doing lately. If I want to be a change agent I have to make actions closer to my words.

My introspective period will hopefully just require a month of isolation to get my head right. I already forsee a few undesired outcomes but at the same time places for great advancement. You will hear from me more frequently as I unravel and reweave my life back together. Somethings gotta give.

How to stay productive when life has you on standby.

As my life is slowly but surely is getting sorted out and I am working on finding my place in professional society. I’m remaining resilient by staying productive. Everyday I’m motivated to focus and make strides towards becoming the best version on myself. It’s a process that I've been avoiding for quite some time now. It involves learning and facing my demons while strengthening my core values, positive habits and enhancing my knowledge..

Side note to new graduates: just because you’re no longer in school doesn't mean the learning has to end.

My post-graduation desire is to seek wisdom and understanding about myself and the world. I remember always to telling myself that there was soo much more I wanted out of life and its the first time I and making actions towards attaining the things that I want... whether it be career-oriented or for my personal advancement. *my advice is you should too.

During my mini-staycation, I’m taking the time to uplift myself through indulging in new books and getting my health right. I've also become somewhat of a podcast freak.. attempting to listen to at least two a day. There is this saying that you are the average of 5 people you spend the most time with. Well I’m choosing to surround myself with virtual mentors who are on their way or living successfully. Part of my dream is see that become a reality but that’s not whats important right now. While experiencing this down-time I’m loading up and trying to learn things that I probably wish I would have known 5 years ago. Thus far, I've gotten through one really good one called 10% Happier by Dan Harris and my main take away was: “when you are wisely ambitious, you do everything you can to succeed, but you are not attached to the outcome - so that if you fail, you will by maximally resilient.”

Trust the process and remain resilient by focusing on yourself.

When life gets fuzzy, you must learn patience and to never doubt yourself.

I don’t even know how to start. I feel like all the time I spent away from this blog is the same amount of time I spent away from myself.

Things have been going.. I don’t now if I can say great but going most definitely. A little back story would be that a couple of big things happened:

1) I graduated from college .. yep in 3 yrs awesomeness

2) I figured out my dream entry job and how I want to start my life .

It took some time and a lot of assessment and reflection on my skills, talents and dreams for the future. I thought to myself what could I be doing that would prepare me the most for future success and that is somewhat enjoyable. When it hit me like a ton of bricks or hours or research on Linkedin I felt comfortable enough to exclaim my desire to be in that role and still do. Here’s the catch: its extremely difficult to obtain the position at least at any major firm. As I researched the intake process I became overwhelmed and riddled with self-doubt. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you have what it takes? Can you prove your worth? And that last question made me the most upset because it’s not something I don’t particularly like to do.. seek validation from others or doubt my worth but it comes with the territory of searching for a job.

So fast forward to today and one month post-grad and I’m not at all where I want or expected to be.. which may vary well be necessary for other reasons. I've always tortured myself by incessantly thinking if this is where my peers are I should be there or further. My comparison to other’s situations lead me to think that I have somehow failed despite my great achievements. All encompassing I feel ashamed for not continuing in my success immediately after and having to now claim the title of unemployed and seeking for work ..for who knows how long. Its been hard for me to deal with but everyday I wake up I feel optimistic about the strides of have made towards realizing my dreams and I know this moment is temporary. I get so bumped on the ‘bad’ that I neglect to appreciate:

1) the opportunity this time has given me to focus on myself and interests

2) to assess who I am and where I want to be truly

3) a break from stress and responsibilities.

This moment came and is here for a reason and I’m being exposed to new life skills everyday. I’m question everything I thought was fact and learning, you’re really not entitled to anything. I’m in a space where I most constantly remind myself that your moment will come and live positively in the now.