Salvation cries are loud to me
Whereās the soulful resolution
Where we can see clearly?
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@myaudienceofone
Salvation cries are loud to me
Whereās the soulful resolution
Where we can see clearly?
Angels have free will too
Theyāre not Godās āyesā people
Happy birthday
My motivation to live a happy life
Yet, youāre still searching.
Wandering around, for goodnessā sake.
You said this time feels different because you know Iām not coming back ā¤ļøāš„
You were never meant to stay. You pulled me into this. The water is deep and I canāt swim. This love is happening.
Not a day passes when I donāt wow at the fact that youāre gone forever
I donāt need anyone to tell me what love looks like
Iāve made up my mind
Iām going to church on Sunday to sing a song thatāll hurt somebodyās feelings
- Lyfe
Yesterday is gone
Tomorrow is on the way
30th January 2021
30 on the 30th
Allah we never wanted this thing to end
Eyes firey
Hold her, guide her, bless her, hear her ššš
If he doesnāt comprehend, at least he can pretend
Losing one of my best friends - what it feels like 5 years later
One my best friends passed away 5 years ago and I still donāt believe it. To me, she is still alive and we just havenāt been keeping in touch.Ā
And I feel so guilty. For so many reasons. I feel horrible and guilty every time she crosses my mind and Iām unsure why. So much so that I quickly try and erase the thoughts of her from my mind. And that makes me feel even worse.Ā Maybe because I feel I could have loved her more or been there for her more? Perhaps I could have been a better friend - giving her everything she deserved from me?
And I feel like I didnāt do that. I feel like our banter, Skype conversations, phone calls, DMs and text messages were frivolous, empty discourse and I think to myself ⦠is it fair for me to reduce our friendship to that? Perhaps it DID mean something? Perhaps I WAS a good friend? I donāt know.Ā
It has been 5 years and Iām replaying our friendship in my mind and Iām still finding so many loopholes. So many things I could have done better to enhance her experience every time she and I interacted. Only the people in a relationship really know the dynamics of that relationship and I have no one but her to verify all these questions. At this point, as I type, I feel selfish because now Iām making this all about me.Ā
So now my train of thought diverts and I think about if sheās happy, safe and at peace. I am now consciously trying to make this about her and not all about me.Ā
I donāt know sometimes. I have a lot of questions and I sweep them under the rug because, like I say, only the people in a Ā relationship really know the dynamics of that relationship and for everyone looking in, although you may have an opinion, you really donāt know.Ā
I also feel like I should be thinking about her more often ⦠but I donāt because Iāve become accustomed to not wanting to. Perhaps itās time to really let go. I feel like I did let goā¦subconsciously but I canāt account for it because I donāt remember when it happenedā¦
I donāt remember writing this but itās interesting to realise that losing one best friend many years ago didnāt feel at all familiar to losing another best friend more recently. I didnāt get that āIāve been here beforeā feeling
Everyday I wake up hoping itās the morning I wake up from this nightmare.
Your departure shifted my spirit ⦠for the better ⦠which is sick twisted and bizarre but itās true.
Not to say that was the purpose for this. Itās just one of the outcomesā¦
Itās so simple
The way you tell your riddles
We fight, weāre so pitiful
You did this to me
Whyād you go?
Life to the lifeless
Christ to the Christless