We had our second discussion Wednesday, this time on 4th century Athens.
When discussing the role of women, I was reminded of something I read a few months ago. It mentioned how in the past, when stay at home wives were common, there was enough time for everything. Minimum wage was enough for a single provider to meet the needs of a wife+children (I have not studied this particularly, so this is not a well researched thing for me to speak on) (In this, I emulate the men of Athens who told women what they were :))))) ). Now, in modern times, many women work full time and STILL bear the majority of the domestic burden, and even if it was split fairly it’s two full-time jobs (and sometimes more) + chores. So instead of domestic + work = living, it’s 2work + domestic.
Which is why we have less leisure time. With the women taking care of the whole household, men had more time and mental energy available for politics.
It also reminds me of the time a Greek taxi driver was kind enough to explain to me I’ll never get a husband if I can’t cook because Greek men don’t know how to cook, they go from their mother to their wife (aka Mamma round two but this time you get to sleep with her!!!!)
I told him I had faith any man I was with would be smart enough I could teach him to order take out.
My dad fits the not being able to cook, but in his defense he never expected to be cooked for his solution was to just not eat for days at a time and then eat junk food. Just what every doctor should do! Also the thirty cups a day of coffee were probably a decent appetite suppressor.
Anyway, back on topic (ish).
Is it actually a lesser place in society for the women to deal with the household? It’s important work, perhaps even more so than jury duty. But it’s perceived as lesser (by men). But just because someone says something is so, doesn’t make it such. It’s just my ego wanting to be seen as important. There’s a paradox in powerful people, some are powerful because everyone knows they are, and others make sure no one knows they are and by extension have even more control.
In just about every romantic historical novel (or some fantasy where sexism is tossed in for flavoring) there’s some bogus line about how it’s A-OK for the man to be perceived as the superior in the relationship and be respected and deferred to because the wife actually has the control. But I don’t think I could be okay with that. I have a big ego, and I still can’t determine if that’s something I should work on or not.
There’s an Einstein quote (which in googling I found a lot more blatant misogyny, so THAT sucks) “When we first got married, we made a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions. For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement. I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage. However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn’t been one big decision.”
And I can think of several men and women who think both sides of this.
But honestly if my potential husband tried to pull that, I’d be gone. Not explaining, not justifying, just “Holy good gravy you misunderstand me and I’m out.”
Which actually plays into a conversation I had last night with a guy where I substituted cursing for a phrase (like where I did before because I wasn’t sure if I should say shit in an academic journal but here we are!) and I played along because it was dumb and I gave the benefit of the doubt and wonder of wonders!!!
The guy was a complete ass who continued to try and undermine my self esteem and put me down for things he perceived as flaws.
I’m surprised the rates of martial homicide weren’t noticeably higher historically.
Fun fact is my mom ALSO took a bum deal like Einstein’s wife, where my dad agreed she could make the decisions as long as he got to set the value system the decisions were made by.
Honestly, what is it with people making these deals in their marriages? I love both my parents and admire my dad but seriously.
In concussion, Athenians sucked and continue to do so. Greece is still a long way from outgrowing its misogyny, from that taxi driver, to the fact EVERY single taxi driver asked me if I lived alone, to the fact in 90+degrees midday for two months, regularly taking the hot stuffy buses, I never saw a single girl over 15 wear shorts and a lot the men did. My “don’t date a Greek” policy has been reinforced with historical evidence.
(Okay, that’s a half joke. I don’t wanna date a Greek because I don’t want to find out we’re related when we get married and YES that is something that’s happened to the sibling of a guy my cousin is dating)
(And YES this journal has gotten way to personal but I’ll be darned if today is the day I start exercising good judgement.)
