Kris Wu's

NO MORE SHAKIN' LIKE THAT

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Escape from madness #hohoho (at J.co Tunjungan Plaza)

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Beef curry udon #kelempoken (at Marugame Udon Tunjungan Plaza III Surabaya)

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Christmas Eve☆ #latepost

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#latepost #honeycreme (at HoneyCreme Singapore)

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#nasitambakbayan (at Holiday Inn Hotel, Windows By The Park Restaurant)

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#holiday #iyeeeee (at Starbucks T2 Juanda)

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What's on my thoughts right now: do i really have moved on?

Pertama-tama, mungkin update ini gak terlalu penting :p

Tanggal 29 November 2014 malam, sekitar jam 10, aku gak bisa tidur..

Salah satu temenku bilang kalau aku ini bayi, karena aku gak kuat tidur terlalu malam hehe

Tapi malam itu, banyak pikiran di kepalaku, dan rasanya gak enak banget.

Tiba-tiba, ada satu orang yang terlintas di benakku.

Dia yang udah gak aku pikirkan selama.. hmm, mungkin 3 bulan lebih?

Dia yang sudah melupakan aku terlebih dahulu

Tanpa sadar, malam itu aku meneteskan air mata.. Semua perasaan campur aduk jadi satu: antara kecewa, sakit, rindu (?)

Coba aja kalau dia bisa tau :p Tapi rasanya terlalu gak mungkin hehehe

Lalu, karena air mata ini gak bisa berhenti dan hati ini rasanya sakit, aku cuma bisa doa

Doa buat dia, doa buat perasaanku yang aneh..

Siapa tau, dengan berdoa hatiku jaddi tenang..

Dan ternyata bener, habis itu aku bisa ngantuk dan tertidur pulas

Senin nya, pas di sekolah, aku ketemu dia

Meskipun kita satu sekolah, tapi ketemu dia itu jarang banget. Langka pokoknya

Saa itu, habis dari perpustakaan, aku ketemu dia. Dan aku lihat dia lagi belajar buat UAS.

Dalam hati ini ada sesuatu, yang gak bisa dijelaskan pakai kata-kata..

"That sparks still there"

Aku berusaha bersikap gak peduli dan jalan terus..

Sampai di depan kelas, aku ketemu sm teman dan sekaligus orang yang aku sangka sudah menjadi orang yang membantu ku untuk move on

Dia di belakangku lalu menepuk bahu ku pakai kertas

"Oo dasar anak kecil" batinku

Dia pun ngajak aku bercanda, seperti biasanya..

Pingin ketawa tiap kali liat ekspresi mukanya yg nyebelin xD

Intinya, aku merasa aku sudah benar-benar move on sama temen ku itu tadi..

Tapi, kenapa aku masih ngerasa sesuatu ke mantanku?

Dan aku sadar.. Meskipun aku sangat nyaman dan sangat bahagia di sisi temenku ini, tetap aja aku belum bisa sepenuhnya move on.

Mungkin, temenku ini belum bisa menggantikan mantanku

Atau

Aku belum bisa setulusnya menyanyangi temenku

So, these are some of my thoughts :)

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Our wise, lovely and teaser 'tukang nggarai' Opa #ohana #family

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One afternoon at far far away garden #nguakak #luebay #shooting (at di belakang pohon)

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One big bowl full happiness. Happy sunday all #liburdiet #khusushariminggu #delicious #kwetiaw #siram #kelempoken

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eating with friendsss #kapak #yamyam #menghilangkangalau #xia1 #yoohoo #koleng (at Bentoya)

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Dan kau hadir.. merubah segalanya.. menjadi lebih indah♬ #sate #lemu (at Sate Ayam Ponorogo Pak Seger)

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Beef calbee bento #yummy (at Bentoya)

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silky pudding rasa taro.. mirip bgt rasanya sm murasaki imo nya goota, uenakkk #silkypudding

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Not bad... (at Cool Blog, Grand City Surabaya)

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Something i can't figure out

Hi.. This is me, again..

Last Thursday , some part of my family that i never knew before came here o visit my grandma

They came from Jogja, and me and my aunt and my cousin took them around Surabaya

As always, we stopped by at Pasar Genteng, bought some snacks and traditional food for them, since they wanted to bought something for their family

and, the evening, around 6pm, they must go back to Jogja by train.

I remember about my ex, he usually go back to his hometown by train on this station too.

As i remember that, i remember that day is the last day we came to school, because friday until tuesday we stay at home for mid semester holiday

well, i think maybe he's not going to go home today..

i sat there on the waiting room with my aunts and my cousin

it was a long wait, and this train station was so crowded

until the train came...

they wait on the boarding line and when i looked on the right side,

there were my ex and his cousin..

i tried so hard not feeling nervous, i kept my heartbeat steady

well, it has been such a long time since i never get to see his face clearly at school

A part of me said 'Well, what's the use ruth? he dumped you, you shouldn't feel this way anymore, right? just keep calm, okay'

and then the other part of me said 'He was the one you loved before, it is usual if you still feel the sparks, since you and him were together in the past..'

Somehow i felt so weak. And i knew my ex realized that i was there

I felt uneasy, but i succeed to made myself calm and pretend that there was nothing

After then, i was already gone to my aunt's car and we went home

Honestly, i missed his presence.. i missed everything about him

But i realize, i no longer have the urge to talk to him anymore

i became cold-hearted towards him

and i knew that i grew tired of him

I knew that i changed into a new person too

And i think this is the best that i can do, and it is nothing

All i can do is nothing, because i feel nothing towards him

And i knew, this is already ends. I felt relieved somehow

I know he isn't the one