my cat Kyle

Important facts to know about Kyle: 1) he has severe dandruff, 2) he has no front OR back claws so he falls off things all the time (previous owners doing), 3) he is fat, 4) he wheezes very loudly when he breathes normally but, 5) contrary to popular belief, he does not have diabeetus, 6) he only has 3 teeth (the rest had to be removed), 7) one of his ears is permanently crooked and, 8) he witnessed a murder

[virginmobileuprising]

9 #MOVEMBER MUSTACHES THAT’LL GIVE EVERY MO’LOVER SERIOUS #MENVY [PART TWO]

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[mycatkyleoninstagram]

📢 Announcement!!! 📢 We are super excited to launch the #KyleCam!!! 🎉🎉🎉#CatDad surprised #CatMom with a #KyleCam for #Xmas 🎄 because he knew Kyle’s #1 fan would want to 👀 #stalkKyle 👀 all day long. But we realized that Kyle actually has many #1 fans!!! And wouldn’t they also want to stalk Kyle??? Now, thanks to our friends @nest, YOU can stalk Kyle, too!!! 🎉 We couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate hitting #50K!!! 🎉 You can find the #livefeed of Kyle through our website. Enjoy!!! (📌P.S. There is a secret message for those who check it out!) (P.P.S. We will enable sound tomorrow.)

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

😻 I call this one… #bluesteel. 😻#meowdellikeaboss #nexttopmeowdel

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

#Yowzers!!! #WhiskerWednesday

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

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#JurrasicWorld 8: Return of the Dog-eaten Dino Zombies 🏆#Meowscars 🏆 #BestCatVideoAward

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

Happy #MayTheFourth!!! #MayThe4thBeWithYou (Meme credit: random redditor)

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

Do you like #fun? Do you like #zombies? Do you like #mythichorses? Do you like #cats? (That last question was rhetorical.) Kyle here for #spokesmeowdelMonday to tell you about my parents favorite game #SmashUp!!! #SmashUp is a card game where you can battle #zombies vs. #dinosaurs, or #ninjas vs. #aliens. #SmashUp cemented my parents eternal love by releasing this #PrettyPrettyExpansion so now #cats can battle #zombies or #mythichorses can have their revenge on evil #cats (AKA #grillers)!!! #NoughSaid.

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

Do you need a fashionable cure for your #neckface? Well look no further! @lazybonezz has beautiful collars for every shape, size, and species of #neckface! #SpokesMeowdelMonday

[mycatkyle]

Now for sale in our store! The bandana... not the cat. ;)

[mycatkyle]

Attention!!! 📢📢📢 We are excited to announce the #grandopening of the #CharitableCash4KylesStache online store (mycatkyle.storenvy.com)!!! 🎉🎉🎉 Yesterday’s launch date coincided with the start of #NOMOREweek - @nomoreorg’s March #DVawareness campaign. 💜 I’d like to thank everyone who participated in the amazing success of our Indiegogo campaign! 💜 We are also SUPER excited to announce a **special twist** to our online store! In the coming months, we will be partnering with “local” IG #petportrait artists to showcase their amazing talents. 🎨 Their artistic interpretations of Kyle will be made available on select products that will be sold in our store! Of course, 100% of all proceeds will be donated!!! Our IG artist initiative will also be accompanied by 🎨 #KylesIGArtWalk 🎨 - a special Thursday feature. The AMAZING portrait above was illustrated by one of our first partners @l.vandemaker!!! Please check out her amazing work! #catsagainstDV #supportyourlocalartist #dv #nomore #domesticviolence #uniKylecorn

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

[mycatkyle]

Only 7 hours left to get your Kyle swag!!! 100% proceeds to charity! Check it out at http://igg.me/at/mycatkyle

#magnetKyle not to be confused with #catnipKyle not to be confused with #realKyle. #getit #CharitableCash4KylesStache

[mycatkyle]

My cat Kyle witnessed a MURDER

Here is the story of the murder. Please help us spread awareness about how domestic violence affects pets too!

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

ATTENTION!!! 📢 Our Indiegogo campaign is now LIVE!!! Decorate your life with @mycatKyle’s famous mustache while supporting a non-profit cause!!! 100% of proceeds from each and every Kyle-themed product will be donated to #URIPALS - the only pet-friendly #domesticviolence shelter in NYC!!! Please take a moment to check out the link in my bio. 😻10 lucky people who #regram this post will win a FREE Kyle sticker!!!😻 Winners will be chosen at random. Please make sure to tag @mycatKyle in the image!!! #stopDomesticViolence #DVkills #DomesticViolenceSurvivor #DVAM #nomore #CharitableCash4KylesStache

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

Simply the best! #getonmylevel 🏆🏆🏆 This is my entry to @pitterpatterfurryfeet’s #bestfourpics2014 contest! 🏆🏆🏆

[reviewofmycat]

Kyle

Appearance: A

Kyle is very precious. Unfortunately, his previous owner removed all his claws and he is unable to scatch himself. This leaves him with a small (read: large) dandruff problem and some greasy fur. An infection in his mouth also mandated the removal of all his bottom teeth but his receding gum line does not deter him from attempting to look his best every day. The extra pounds sit well on his delicate frame and his permanently crooked ear give him that exotic look.

Sociability: A

Kyle has a better recall that our dog. Since he has no claws (see above) he enjoys the touch of anyone’s nail to his skin… possible too much. Some other cats might think he is “special” due to his poor hygiene and the constant wheezing when he breathes, but he doesn’t take it personally and continues to enjoy life.

Usefulness: A

Kyle is able to proved comic relief both day and night simply by existing.

Huggability: A

Since Kyle has no claws he never tries to fight back. He is also very fat and squishy. The combination of these things makes for an excellent hug. The only downside to hugging Kyle is that some of his dandruff might flake off on to your clothes causing others to think you have a dandruff problem.

Overall Grade: A+

[mycatkyle]

I just want to share this again. I crack myself up.

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

Kyle’s handsome friend @heyseymour invited Kyle to post a #blackandwhite photo. Since Luckily, Kyle is actually B&W! Here is a shot of him in one of his many laundry-related sleeping locations. I nominate some of Kyle’s other B&W friends @liladolf @chesterthemagnificent @floyd________ @nala_super_fluffy to participate!!! ⚫️⚪️⚫️⚪️🙌💗🙌

[mycatkyleoninstagram]

[mycatkyle]

#glamorshot to offset the #derp. Not sure this will accomplish his goal 😜 #snagglefangscanbebeautifultoo