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@mycurrentobsessionsinclude
ONE TWEET. THIS FIT IN ONE TWEET. IF YOU FUCK IT UP YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.
So much of this. An apology is NOT “I’m sorry BUT here’s why I’m totally in the right and think I did nothing wrong.”
!!!!
PART 4: ACTUALLY DON’T DO IT AGAIN. MAKE AN ACTUAL EFFORT TO NOT DO THAT SAME THING AGAIN IN THE FUTURE.
When conservatives lose a highly-charged election like this, they talk about their concern for their wealth and their guns.
When conservatives win a highly-charged election like this, everyone else is talking about their concern for their families and their lives.
Think about that quiet, violent disparity.
so my english professor told us this story last year about how he met his wife and it’s completely possible that he made it up just to entertain us but he says it happened and the story is this
he’s a a cruise with his parents to australia where he’s gonna spend a year or so for some reason. can’t remember why but it was job related. his mom is worried that if he spends too long away from her without her constant advice (my mom is also like this lol) he’s going to do something impulsive and ridiculous.
so, he decides to prank her by pretending to get married to a woman he just met. because he’s obviously so impulsive and ridiculous. so he’s talking to people and stuff and he asks this woman if she’s cool with pretending to marry him to prank his parents. and she says yes. then he goes and talks to the captain and crewmembers and he’s like “i have this ridiculously funny prank where i’m going to pretend to marry this lovely woman to freak out my mom.” and they, of course, reply hell yeah. so like since the first mate has the power to marry people, i guess, he agrees to the fake wedding.
so at lunch he’s like “mom, dad, this is alyssa. i met her last night and we’re in love and also getting married.” and his mom freaks out and that could be that. but no.
if they’re gonna do this they’re gonna go big or go home.
so, he changes his facebook status to “married to alyssa” and invites all his friends to his wedding in the middle of the ocean. (and they believe him and congratulate him and he’s concerned that his friends think he would really marry a random woman he met like six hours ago)
now his mom is getting really nervous b/c alyssa (the fake bride) got her friends she was on the cruise to be her bridesmaids. they got the first mate to “marry” then at dinner in front of people. the mom is horrified.
anyway the next day he goes “just kidding!” and it’s hilarious. but then he has to contact all his friends who were calling him on the phone and stuff to congratulate him to tell them it was an elaborate joke and they all think he’s an asshole and he and alyssa part ways but keep in touch b/c they… actually get along pretty well.
anyway like a year later they meet up again in boston (i think? big city that wasnt new york) and talk and end up dating for like a year and then end up engaged for real. and now he invites his friends to his real wedding and all their RSVPs essentially say “i’ll show up, but if this is another fake one i’ll fucking murder you” and the mom just flat out didnt believe him for a month because she’s not falling for that again.
and now they’ve been married happily for like three years and they’re expecting their second child who has probably been born by now
and the overall point of this post is: imagine your otp
Well this is a prompt for fic if I’ve ever seen one.
It is necessary to understand that the police army at Standing Rock wants to start killing the water protectors. You don’t deliberately inflict hypothermia on people, especially older people, unless you are cognizant of the fact that this can be lethal. Their use of water cannons in this context is lethal force. I imagine they’re delighted at the opportunity; they’ve only held off on live ammunition this long because massacres are bad PR.
(Oh, and a quick sidenote: “rubber” bullets are not made of rubber. They are metal pellets with a thin rubber coating. You can absolutely kill or severely injure someone with a rubber bullet.)
Water protector Sophia Willansky was critically injured last night – she’s in surgery facing amputation of an arm – after being hit by what is called a “stun grenade” while distributing water bottles to her fellow protectors. “Stun Grenade” is an interesting euphemism for a concussive weapon that is not significantly less destructive to living things than a regular grenade. If you would like to see what a “stun grenade” does to a person’s body, you can google Sophia Willansky, but the images are graphic and I’m not sure she has consented to their release. Rest assured that it’s fucking horrific. This isn’t, like, “set phasers to stun”; this is “use words that sound nicer for stuff that kills people” and it’s scary and garbage.
Here’s a link to a gofundme campaign for Sophia’s medical bills that was posted on facebook by a friend we have in common.
when ppl start adding weird unsolicited comments to ur web content
let your child be goofy and silly and make messes. teach them to clean up the messes without yelling at them. let your child be a child. not a mini adult who has to be perfect 24/7
Guys buying their girlfriends tampons.
I’M CRYING
Saturday Night Live (11.19.2016)
i really want to know what johnny depp has done to warrant such an overwhelming amount of support in this domestic abuse allegation. amber heard provided pictures of her bruised face, literal video evidence of johnny depp being violent, and fucking donated divorce settlement money to domestic abuse charities and people are still painting her as this lying gold digger. did pirates of the caribbean really pull at your heartstrings that much that you’re willing to overlook domestic abuse???
Top 10 Frasier Relationships (as voted by my followers) 06. Frasier Crane & Lilith Sternin
“You know me better than anybody else. And you’re a terrific psychiatrist.”
*makes eye contact with security cameras to assert dominance*
"Thanks to the Obama Administration women will still be able to access the birth control they need to plan their families, and cancer screenings they need to stay healthy.”
god bless this man honestly
Praise God
In case you don’t read it: basically it’s a lot of money given annually to planned parenthood that cannot be touched to keep the facilities open. It clearly states that this money is for things like access to contraceptives and cancer screenings and other care that planned parenthood offers that’s not specifically abortions.
So republicans won’t even be able to vote for defunding planned parenthood. Essentially.
Please tell me this is true. Because this was the only reason my mom voted for trump. And she’s a fucking idiot.
1st Latina senator in US history. I like her already
