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I dont orgasm when I'm getting penetrated. I do feel good but it only lasts for like, 20 minutes and then I get tired and it starts to hurt, even with lube. I only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I wonder if that makes me abnormal for someone my age? I'm 19

Ok, repeat after me:

Only 20% of people with a vagina will EVER orgasm without clitoral stimulation. The other 80% require more than vaginal penetration, usually clitoral stimulation, in order to achieve orgasm.

It is a classic story: vaginal penetration feels good, then like nothing much, then uncomfortable. What you need, if you’d like to keep having penetrative sex, is simultaneous clitoral stimulation!

Again, let me repeat: this is NORMAL. This is how your body is built. If you’re not aroused, your tissue is much more fragile. During arousal there are a bunch of changes in the vaginal canal to make it better equipped to enjoy penetration (including lengthening, swelling, lubrication, etc). But if you stop enjoying it (maybe you just get bored, or maybe you’re frustrated that you’re not orgasming) then your arousal fades, and your vagina stops enjoying the sensations. It TOTALLY makes sense that you have pain and frustration after 20 minutes of penetration without great sensation or arousal.

If you don’t want to keep having penetrative sex, you can just call it off all together. If you want to try to have orgasms during penetration, here are some ideas:

You or your partner(s) can use fingers to stimulate your clit during penetration.

You can use a vibrator. It can be small or large, strong or not - just something to add a little zing.

Have sex with multiple people - one of whom is going down on you at the same time that another person is penetrating you.

Here are some vibrators designed for clitoral stimulation during penetration (and remember there are a zillion different types - going to a local sex toy store & fiddling around is the best way to find the right one for you):

If the person you’re having penetrative sex with is using a penis or dildo, you can get a vibrating ring to put at the base of their penis/dildo so that when they are deep in you, the ring presses on your clitoris.

A finger vibrator is a vibrator that you stick onto one finger. It’s small and easy to hold in the right place during penetration.

There are some internal vibrators that are designed to be used during penetration, such as the We-Vibe. One half of the U-shaped vibrator goes inside the vaginal canal & the other goes outside, and then a partner can penetrate at the same time.

The JimmyJane Form 2 and the Crave are both *very* strong vibrators that can usually fit between two bodies joined at the genitals.

The Eva is theoretically hands-free.

And so on! There are so many options! You’re not broken, you’re not abnormal. Nothing is wrong with you! Go out there and have fun!

themidwifeisin

I have PCOS and rarely have periods. I have gone 18 months without one but then had consecutive periods every month for 4 months. So very random. I don’t want children right now and am looking into bc- but tbh I don’t want to deal with regular periods. I heard that hormonal bc could regulate them- I don’t want that as I hate having my period so don’t want regular ones. What methods (other than condoms) could I try that wouldn’t cause me to have regular periods. Or is that a myth? :)

When you have PCOS with little to no periods, you have to be super careful to make sure that you protect your uterine lining.

If you’re not having a period because of PCOS, it means that your uterus is being exposed to estrogen for months & months at a time, when normally it’s only exposed to that level of estrogen for 2 weeks out of each month. That estrogen tells the uterus to build up the lining for a potential pregnancy, and it’s the progesterone that comes in the 2nd half of the cycle that tells it “ok, no baby this month, clear everything out.”

If nothing is telling the uterus to have a period, the lining just keeps growing & growing & growing…. and that’s when your risk of cancer significantly increases. The definition of cancer is cells that mutate so that they grow without stopping. That’s basically what’s happening here - the uterine lining just keeps growing, and any potential cancer cells that would be cleared out once a month otherwise are now being allowed to hang around & keep growing.

So you have 3 options:

Use a progesterone-only birth control that will stop your period all together (with the progesterone it will protect you from this problem even if you’re not getting a period)

Use a normal birth control to have a regular period

Induce a period at least 4 times a year.

I think what you might like most is a Long Acting Reversible Contraceptive (LARC) like an IUD or implant that has progesterone. With those you are very likely to have either a light, short period or no period at all and your uterine lining is safe!

Look into:

Mirena

Liletta

Skyla

Kyleena

Nexplanon

Good luck!