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@myeshachaneyyt
True Story!
For most of my adult life, I was performing the spiritual identity everyone expected of me. I preached. I prayed. I fasted. I worshiped. I led. I stood on stages and spoke about faith and discipline and devotion. I helped other people find healing. None of it touched the place underneath. That is what unsettles me now. I learned how to be faithful without ever feeling free. It was not until I sat…
Is Being Single is Better than Being Married?
Honest take. Being single has been better to me than being married. I got married at 21. I became single at 40. And in between, the message I received from every direction was clear: marriage is the destination. Single is what you survive until you get there. I believed it. I worked for it. I built my whole life around it. Then I became single. And here is what surprised me. I sleep better. I…
This Was Embarrassing
R True story. I was about to get in the bath, on the phone with my mom and my older brother. We were laughing about who actually uses a washcloth in the tub and who does not. My brother said, “I was dealing with somebody who did not even use a washcloth.” And I said, “Wait. I do not use a washcloth in the bathtub.” Silence. My mom said: “You know I raised you better than that.” I tried to…
I had to find the truth!
Anxiety about my future had taken me over. Who would I become? Where would I land? Was I making the right choice? My sister saw the condition I was in. She looked at me and said: “Myesha, I think you should consult.” I asked, “Consult with what?” Prayer and devotions no longer soothed me. Therapy felt too slow for the unbearable level of pain I was carrying. When she said, “A psychic,” it stopped…
Leave or Die!
I had spent most of my life believing that endurance was love. That staying was virtue. That my ability to absorb pain without complaint was evidence of spiritual maturity. But there comes a moment when the body reaches a truth the mind can no longer negotiate away. Once I saw it, compliance was no longer possible. I had reached a point where I thought: I am going to die if something does not…
It was Traumatizing!
I was not prepared to survive this kind of trauma publicly. The image of perfection had once protected me. When it cracked, it became a cage. Once the truth was known, there was nowhere left to hide. I was a pastoral leader. I loved the church. I loved the people. I loved what we had built. And still, my life was falling apart, and there was no one to rescue me. I had carried so many through…
God did it!
For a long time, I felt like God had forgotten about me. I thought that because of the choice I made, my place and my role in His kingdom were forever shifted. And I was okay with going on a new journey if that was what He was calling me to. This season has proven that God does not forget. He has been up to something all along. I knew it in my heart. But what I saw with my own eyes, in my own…
Fired for the first time!
I had built it from the ground up. The day-to-day design, operations, staffing, workflows, and revenue strategy were all stewarded by me. It was my entrepreneurial expression. I had no retirement. No stable financial safety net. Then one day, my role was terminated. This time it came in writing. I accepted it without argument. My body had recognized the ending before my thoughts could catch up. —…
I Bought My Freedom!
I remember the day I decided. Standing in my house, I said it out loud. “No more.” I had been carrying the symbols of a life I had outgrown. Objects that had once told the world I was safe, successful, chosen, enough. They were suddenly quiet. Bags, jewelry, cars. The shorthand that speaks before you do. Those things had served me once. I do not shame the woman who needed them. She was…
It’s a New Game!
For most of my life, I played not to lose. Every move I made was a small attempt to keep the other shoe from dropping. I anticipated. I hedged. I played small so the loss would not be too big. Now I am 43. And the game has changed. When you rebuild your life from the ground up, when you become the truest version of yourself, the stakes are different. The air is different. How you move is…
It haunted me!
I had this same dream for two years. I was at a networking event, trying to be chosen. The whole time, the baby was in the car. I had left her there. I took off running. The exits disappeared. The paths twisted. I begged strangers for help. No one moved with urgency. By the time I found her, she was blue. Limp. Not breathing. I fell to my knees and begged God to let her live. When I told my…
I’m not afraid anymore!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I hope I will never be afraid of doing anything again. Your presence has healed me. It has restored my hope in humanity. When everyone walked away. When people were told I was crazy. When I did not understand why the people I loved had stopped talking to me. I chose to grin and bear it. And then something came over me that said: share your truth, no matter what it…
This is the realest part!
Some passages I am still holding. For most of my life I did not realize I was being loved for what I carried. I thought that was love. It took everything falling apart for me to understand the difference between being useful and being known. If this passage met you, this book was written for you. 🤍 Get a signed copy shipped to your door: https://ift.tt/M6Cw8Q1 from Myesha Chaney…
It Became My Identity
I stopped explaining. I stopped compensating. I stopped talking about what had happened to me. Being a divorced woman had become part of my identity. And it was tethering me to a past I no longer wanted to live in. So I crossed a threshold. I deleted the dating apps. My urgency to be seen faded. My motivation to post online quieted. And in the stillness, something unexpected happened. I did not…
This broke me completely!
That night, she asked to go to her school’s Bible study. I dropped her off and drove away in silence. My hands gripping the steering wheel. My body buzzing with fear. Around eight o’clock, my phone rang. It was the youth pastor. He told me my daughter had taken some pills. I said, “okay.” But my body nearly collapsed in on itself. She had gone to Bible study because she had not died. I sat in…
Season 2 Finale: How I Landed in My Fullest Self
Welcome to the final episode of season two of the Myesha Chaney Podcast! Join me as I reflect on a season of profound personal growth, where I was stretched in unexpected ways and embraced deeper self awareness. This journey has been all about self discovery, and I truly feel I’ve landed in the fullest version of myself. I hope this season has also contributed to your self improvement. Get a copy…
I finally collapsed!
My father had a stroke during the pandemic. He walked into the hospital still himself, and because no one was allowed to stay, he sat alone for hours. Then the second stroke hit. They operated while none of us could hold his hand. He lost the entire right side of his body and stayed in that hospital, alone, for almost a month. I was a registered nurse. I had spent almost a decade in stroke care.…