MY FOOD TALKS TOO MUCH

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Muesli there, tragically playing to type.

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While this blog has been sleeping, a great evil has been stirring in the land of product marketing. It’s name is “Mancan”, God help our souls.

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Apparently it’s not just food that talks too much. Shoes are at it too.

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"For the discerning gangster."

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The ad guys call it "tone of voice".

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BURGER KING, STFU

Congratulations to Burger King, winners of today's "Awful bullshit" award. You have outdone yourselves.

We have crossed some sort of rubicon when burger chains start telling you that drinking two litres of coke is a statement of self-empowerment. 

And I can't find a picture of the back of their French fries, but the internet reliably informs me it says:

"You can eat these fries any way that you want. You can dip them in ketchup or your drink if that turns you on. You can stuff them in your sandwich or you can play pick up sticks with them if you really want. Or, hang on, here's a thought you can even eat them like a normal human being."

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Welcome to Hell

It is the sincere belief of this tumblr that food packaging needs to shut its stupid mouth. It tells you how to eat, it wants to make little jokes and talk a yard of crap about nothing in particular. This is a compilation of some prime offenders. If you know of any more, please send them in. We must fight this rubbish before it destroys us all.

What do you know about solitude, brownie?

Oh come on. You're a mass-produced beer.

You know what I'd love for breakfast? A guilt trip.

A team of copywriters employed by an enormous drinks company pretend they are a teenage boy with a nagging mother. Nothing sinister about that.