my horse hates me

on permanent hiatus - you can't improve on perfection

[handyhunter]

is the horse version of

[myhorsehatesme]

What theme do you have?

Original is from themes.pouretrebelle.com, mine's had a bit of tweaking.

[myhorsehatesme]

when my adorable wittle gelding tries to show off for the mares

[myhorsehatesme]

how my horse walks out of the ring after knocking down 5 rails

[myhorsehatesme]

tiny ponies

[myhorsehatesme]

there is no hand-walking a rehabbing horse there is only hand-airs-above-the-ground

[myhorsehatesme]

when my baby mare tackled her first tiny little crossrail

[myhorsehatesme]

when I go to the tack store with money in my pocket

[myhorsehatesme]

when I feed my horse a treat, the others in the barn aisle are like

... too bad I only brought one treat

(p.s. happy birthday myhorsehatesme)

[myhorsehatesme]

the equestrian walk of shame

[myhorsehatesme]

1000 followers! + behind the scenes

apparently this blog is pretty popular i guess. so in celebration, let's take a look behind the scenes at myhorsehatesme:

guess which horse is happy to see me and which horse is my horse. hint: they are not the same

my horse is so excited to be ridden that she lets me physically drag her up the hill to the arena every day. when she plants her feet thats how you know she really loves me

oh and let's not forget how im lazy and i hate brushing so of course she always had to roll in her fresh sawdust even though all the other normal horses with normal curry-loving owners stayed spotless

[myhorsehatesme]

thanks guys, i totally agree with you so i wrote my own mhhm fanmail:

moesyalong <[ last name ever first name greatest ] moesyalong <[ I SHIP MHHM ] moesyalong <[ when i take selfies i make sure this blog is open in the background because it's my life ] TheRealMoseyAlong <[ THANK YOU! ever since this blog, my human has almost stopped trying to touch me. almost. so close. ]

[myhorsehatesme]

mares

[myhorsehatesme]

trying to pick up a dropped stirrup before my trainer notices

[myhorsehatesme]

long approaches to single oxers

[myhorsehatesme]

when you and your horse disagree on a distance

[h2odown]

in the bottom GIF the horse saw the proper distance.. but the rider asked for the long.. she over estimated it. you can see the rider goes into two point.. and the horse instead of completing the stride, is very honest and LISTENS and tucks her knees back up. Good girl.

[skysicle]

this is really late so i’m sorry for that

but this is like the epitome of not being able to judge anything based on a split second of time (oh tumblr). because like.. 1% of that? is right, and it’s that lola saw A distance.. not a good distance, in actuality a long one that she would have to move up like the dickens for and the spot seen above is the result from our ensuing battle (me: NO WE ARE NOT GOING TO EXTEND TO A 16 FT STRIDE TO GET A LONG SPOT lola: I DO WHAT I WANT PEASANT). like i’m not perfect but i do like to stay alive and on my horse and i would never ask for that kind of spot.. ever. and, i didn’t! i slowed it down all pretty like for ya. so what you see here is the epic battle between us for the spot each of us wants (i’ll give you a hint, i wanted the shorter one). there i am, half halt half halt half halt HALF HALT for the love of god lola you cAN’T TAKE THAT SPOT oh shit you are OKAY um lets hang on for dear life. is essentially what happened there. as you can see, she is very obviously NOT listening.

but wait there’s more! i also made a handy dandy still of the takeoff for you!

so this is our takeoff.. first one: i’m sitting my butt in my saddle, still have contact on the reins as a last attempt to make her wait , but as you can see she’s already in half take-off mode- she’s starting to lift off with that front left and is bringing her back legs underneath her. then! in the next still, i am up in what i would consider a conservative half-seat; she’s committed to the jump (you can see that her back legs are going to push off before she has a chance to get that front left back on the ground, so no chance of another stride now) and i’ve slackened the reins because to pull on her face at this point just makes the spot more dangerous. and finally! the finale: she’s in full jump mode yet i’m still in a rather conservative two point. like, this is the two-point you usually make over 18in crossrails (hmm.. maybe this spot caught me off guard and i was trying to make the best of it? who knows!)

i think lola is a really awesome example of the kind of horse that tumblr does not understand from short gifs and pictures. she came to me a complete wreck- super talented jumper, but completely crazy to jumps and would completely disregard her rider and run at really bad spots- regardless of whether the fence was 18” or 3’. when i started working with her she had previously been jumped 4’3 with grand prix aspirations— but couldn’t canter through a set of empty standards without completely. freaking. out. she was pushed way too fast because of her raw talent without ever getting a good foundation and that resulted in a very insecure, disrespectful horse to fences. but! correct happy riding fixed her, and after only one month we got a red ribbon in the eq ring and after two months she made her debut in the hunter ring.

sorry for this super long explanation of what really happened. the original post was obviously humorous but the comment/critique was unnecessary for a gif set that was designed to produce a chuckle!

[myhorsehatesme]

s was totally into letting me post these gifs of her fails so that other people could laugh at her… but honestly the funniest part is the thought that suicidal lollerskates might ever actually listen to s!

a jump is sighted on the horizon lola: now? s: no lola: now? s: no lola: NOW IT IS

[myhorsehatesme]

tacking up

horse: OH THE PAIN I AM DYING NO ONE HAS EVER DIED AS DRAMATICALLY AS ME me: i haven't even attached the other side of the girth yet horse: THIS IS IT THIS IS THE END