My Indulgence www.myindulgence.com.au

Evoke emotions of curiosity, anticipation and excitement in achieving the ultimate sexual pleasure

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A moment in time... introducing Eley B

Another of our blog contributors is Eley B. One could say she is the Samantha Jones of the group, or as we affectionately call her ‘Experimental Eley’. She is the adventurous member of our group. Footloose and fancy free, she will try what most of us only think or fantasise about. But firstly we would like to introduce her properly. Eley B the woman, in her own words.

  A Moment In Time…. Introducing Eley B

So it was that day I ended the 9 year relationship with the father of my two young children. I was angry, I was so angry at him for not coming through for me, for the kids. I was angry at myself for not being able to support him. I was angry at myself for questioning what I had done, in that moment was the very thing I needed to do, to keep my kids safe and secure the same for me. The very thing I had been tossing up and down, around and in circles for the past 3 years of the relationship.

That was nearly 2 and half years ago. I can say with confidence and ease that I made the right decision. However, the journey has by no means been easy-overhauling one’s life.

I miss the family unit that could have been, the togetherness, the connectedness of the 4 of us, working together for the ultimate goal of living a happy and healthy life.

 So……now it’s me and my kids, and the stable, safe and loving environment, I am trying to create for them, oh and sustain. Some days I feel right on track, I feel resourceful, powerful, in control and organised. Other days I wonder what the fuck is going on, can I do better, what am I doing wrong, why this and why that.

I am a Mum……I’m the mother, I’m mummy, oh and not forgetting I am the father, dad, negotiator,  career, supporter, cleaner, organiser, blah blah blah. I am also trying to find myself within myself. Spiritually, sexually, emotionally and physically…..a road that actually can be a lot more challenging than say, getting two kids fed, dressed, to school, me to work, food on the table, a roof over heads and two kids in bed safe at night happy.

So for the sake of this blog and a dominant theme in my life, everyone is a reflection of oneself (apparently)…….over the past 2 and a half years I have met many aspects of myself, some awesome, some not so awesome. I’ve had experiences and formed memories that either make me smile or make me cringe, all the while as I continue to strive for something. Is that something…experiences? Memories?, or is it a sexual bucket list, a soul mate, a spiritual practice, or a void that I’m trying to fill,  a void that I may never fill…….the answer……I don’t know, some days I know, some days I haven’t got a clue.

Today I want more, I want to get right in the thick of experiencing something sensual, something mind tingling and body tantalising. I want the whole deal. I want to be touched, to be kissed to be taken and be took. Yesterday I couldn’t even fathom sharing anything of me- mind, body or soul let alone having anybody near me with the intention of becoming intimate. So my days of emotions related to life…. sex, money and romance are to say the least, up and down. In short some days I want the whole package of man and relationship, some days I just want the man and then others, I could slap a man lol.   

I have been on a number of ‘dating sites’ (generally those known for one thing) and participated to the fullest. There’s part of me that is proud of my behaviour. I think why the fuck not, I am a women, a sexual women with desires, with needs, with wants, and with a bucket list of fantasies to fulfil. The other side asks are my behaviours nurturing enough for my soul as its not gentle actions or providing me with a safe space to really feel and explore into my sexual body and being.

So the plumber came today for a leaking hot water system (a paradox for how I feel sometimes), he sounded hot on the phone. God my mind wondered to the hope that he was. We’d flirt and end up having sex on the bed….hot sex. My heart wondered to the deep wanting of my soul mate, someone I can be myself with, someone I can share and create with. My mind however thought, I want to come on someone’s face, I want them to lick my nipples and make me arch my back. Sadly the plumber wasn’t hot and he was married and came to do a job and that job had nothing to with me and my sexual fantasies.

I flitter in and out of wanting my heart to be burst open with love, support and a tender touch. Someone who wants to explore my reality, discover all the untouched parts of my body and mind, delve right into my soul and surround me with acceptance and love. The other part of me thinks hahaha what a load of shit that it absolutely isn’t what I want right now. I have no room, no patience, no desire to allow anybody in my fanny let alone my heart and life. I suppose this is a reflection of how some days we feel needy, some days we feel the opposite.

So I’m hoping through this blog, you’ll get to know me. I’m me…..a complex person who at times feels liberated and free, at other times imprisoned and isolated by my own thoughts.

Luv Eley B

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Female Bodies are Sexual Pleasure Machines

Jacqueline Hellyer is one of Australia’s foremost authorities on sex and relationships.

During the week she runs a thriving private practice helping individuals and couples through sex therapy and relationship coaching, with around 4000 hours of client contact. On weekends she frequently runs her highly acclaimed retreats for women and couples in the Blue Mountains near Sydney and in Bali; plus the popular monthly Tantric Lounge in Sydney, over 100 workshops and retreats in all. She is also the author of three books- The Sex Life Survival Guide for Parents, Sex Secrets for Busy People and Seven Sex Goddesses.

 Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines by Jacqueline Hellyer

The human body is a sexual pleasure machine, and the female body even more so than the male.

That may seem surprising if your concept of someone’s “level of sexuality” is determined by their “level of libido”. We’re rather too libido-oriented in this society. Read more

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SEX POSITION OF THE MONTH - THE CHAIR

Given this site is called My Indulgence and it’s our first sex position of the month, we felt it only fitting to start with one that means you can literally sit down and relax while your partner does all the work. It’s a twist on the doggy style. All that is required is a bar stool or chair. Sit on the chair, hanging your bottom over the edge so that you partner can enter from behind. Depending on the height of your chair, your partner can kneel, stand or stand on something. Find the right angel by leaning forward and backwards into your partner. Or your partner can experiment penetrating you at different heights, also trying to most enjoyable angle for both of you.

Tips:

·  It is important that you sit on your thighs with you bottom hanging over the chair edge

· This position is better performed using a backless chair so you can lean        forward easier however if the chair has a back, then straddle the chair.

· The position is also great for anal penetration

· If you don’t want mess, you can place a towel on the chair before you start.

 Enjoy

M I xx

(Photo courtesy of Bad Girl’s Bible)

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I'm dressed and ready to conquer the day! Express your sexiness ... MIxx #myindulgence #sexyisourbusiness

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This Little Bird’s Fallen Out of That Nest... introducing Elle

Here I sit, a week and a bit off 44, ‘officially’ approaching middle age at an extraordinary rate. Two adult children as well as one roguish and highly hormonal teenager. In the midst of a very messy and sordid divorce, AND to top it off, I’m months away from being a grandmother.

So here I sit, a shadow of what I was expecting to be 20 years ago. Or am I ???

Time for background – my ex and I separated late last year and while I can lay blame with him and he with me, in fact  the marriage emotionally (yes, emotionally NOT sexually) had been dying a slow painful death for a couple years prior, so after 20+ years it was finally put to bed. Admittedly the option to go back to bed was put forth after; this is not a healthy way to end any relationship. There is NO such thing as friends, exes or otherwise with benefits. And ladies, if you believe the line, you are emotionally ripping yourself apart!

So there I was, in my 40’s, single, confused and a bit jaded with the world .... and men. Now before you think “here we go, a man hating review” let me be clear, jaded in the fact that after 20 or so years, I was shell shocked and sad. Believe me sad is very underrated as an emotion, sad stays with you all day ever day, sad diminishes over time, but the little bugger has a way of rearing it’s mopey head when you least expect it – do you know how many times a day I changed  the radio! And it’s not sad in the ‘I want you back’ way, God forbid, just sad in the ‘Wow, this happened’ way.

As I said, so there I was, 40’s, single and frankly a bit scared. There was ALOT of angry PINK played for awhile, then emotionally I moved to Anastacia – the kids loved me, not! That’s when it hit me, I was alone, alone, not per say in the fact that I didn’t have a man to do man things, but alone. After 23 years I was alone, I’d been alone before, but I was young there was potential, now I was alone and bruised and let’s face it not near as much potential, stretch marks do nothing for your confidence.

My single friends over the years had applauded and congratulated me on the longevity and success of my marriage, and then cried on my shoulder about the cruelty of the dating. Surely, I would think to myself, it’s not that hard, ‘Are you looking for the right one?’

Yes I was living in a false sense of security, looking down my conjoined nose at my less fortunate friends..... ‘Too picky maybe?!’, ‘Cougarish tendencies perhaps?!’ and now here I was facing the Russian Roulette of dating. Swallowing THAT humble pie was bitter!!

No-one I know could accuse me of being a shrinking violet, my friends would laugh at the description. And truth be told, I’m not. Confident, strong willed, determined would be more to my personality type. Now throw me into singledom at 43, shrinking violet here we come. See the problem was not just about being alone but how to be in bed with another man after all this time.

Scary stuff!

When we’re in our teens and twenties, how we look, the movie reel of our performance in bed, is not a factor in our dating decisions.  Get to 40+ and we’re thinking about how to conceal all of the belly wrinkles not to mention the tired hang down low boobies and the ‘for God sake I had a bad day’ under eye bags. And yes, the hygiene factor .... Now I’m particular in this area. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go all out like the urban myth with the gyno, working mum, pap smear and washer with glitter, BUT, I AM PARTICULAR. Some would say over obsessed.  Clean, fresh and well maintained.... I hope. And this is where my anxieties start. Bad enough, I’m middle aged and single, bad enough, I’ve a small recollection of what dating entails, now I have maintenance and performance anxiety, AND I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED DATING!!!!!!

It’s at this point I hear you ask the same question I asked myself back then, “If confronted with these high levels of anxiety, and combined with a new found freedom, why would I even want to contemplate putting myself out there again so soon?’  Why not let the dust settle on the grave that was once my marriage? Nature of MY beast I’m afraid!!!!

 Elle

 www.myindulgence.com.au

 (The title for this blog comes from song lyrics by Annie Lennox)

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Finding my Mojo - introducing Laura

When the ladies at MI asked me to write about myself for their blog, I was mortified.  I mean, why would anyone out there in Space-phere find me interesting enough to want to know more about my life journey and actually read my blog?  

I guess I need to thank you for reading further!! YES you care……

So if I had to describe myself as a modern day character of a TV show I would say; Olivia Pope from the TV show Scandal. Not for the sordid affair that she’s having with the President of the Unit States (however I do find the actor Tony Goldwyn quite hot) but for her sense of presence, strong character, she is formidable when she needs to get things done and she wears the White Hat!

Let’s wind back the clock to my twenties, those awkward years when you try to find yourself in terms of your sense of style, what drives you, what are your aspirations, what are your big dreams.

At that age I had a drop kick boyfriend that my parents didn’t approve of, trying my hardest to leave a small hick town and explore the world. I thought it would be a romantic to be a gypsy and just travel and experience new and exciting places! How I thought I was going to pay for that romantic notion was beyond me.

Looking back, I use to admire those people who knew what they wanted to do when they left school. How at the age of five does a child know they want to be a doctor, lawyer or economist?? I couldn’t even spell economist at that age … come to think of it I struggle at my current age (thank god for spell check).

However, my dream was to be a Physical Education Teacher when I left school. I wanted to be a Teacher because I could play sport, love it; I played three different types of sport in one day, everyday of the week.  I loved sport, so naturally I thought I would be a PE Teacher. That was until I got my first job two weeks after I left school and realized that money could buy me freedom, and freedom I meant in the form of a car that would drive me out of this hick town.

I grew up on a property in Northern NSW and I couldn’t wait to leave the land. Not because I hated being on the farm, it was because I was curious and wanted to know how the world ticked. It’s my thing, maybe a Capricorn trait actually but I need to know how things work so that I can either conquer it or improve it to make if function better.

I struggled with relationships when I was younger, I had admirers even a suitor, however, the universe had other plans for me and I was more drawn to the bad boys (aren’t we all). It must be the thought that you can change their wayward ways to control them and you would be the one to win their hearts.  Oh the tummy laugh as I think of that bad boy that I thought was hot in those jeans on that motorbike…. visions of a mass murder come to mind now, so glad that didn’t last long….

I think a major contributor for not falling in ‘love’ was that I didn’t love myself first. I wasn’t confident in myself first to then love someone else. As I looked around all my friends at the age of 22, 23 they were getting married and having the big weddings, having children, perfect house, perfect family. I felt like the ugly duckling that would never have that type of life.

I use to struggle with why does everyone else have the perfect life and I didn’t. The problem was what I perceived to be perfect was not necessarily the perfect life for someone else. I chuckle as I write this thinking of a time when I meet with a group of friends, only myself and another friend were not married nor did we have children. One Yummy Mummy announced that her and her husband were holidaying (insert exotic location here) and extending the house that was going to cost x amount of dollars and that little Johnny was the most adorable child in his play group class. My only thought was fuck, how do I respond to such a perfect set of ideals, the only thing came out of my mouth (which I was trying so hard to speak with a plum) I eloquently announced and I quote “I shagged a Kiwi last week and it was pretty good” what else could I say, lie and say he was really bad in bed…..

I’m so glad for my current Yummy Mummy friends they give a different perspective to life, marriage and children.

Remember I mentioned I had to a need to understand how things ticked? I became very focused and driven when my dad past away in my early twenties. My way of coping with my grief was to work three jobs, I had a part time job before and after my full time job. This was so I didn’t have to stop and grieve.

I then changed into a person that had long, medium and short term goals that had very specific action plans in place to meet these goals. I even had action plans for my actions. So you could say I was a control freak and needed to get a life…..

Laura xx

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